Guards! SEIZE HIM!

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Dr. Yinz Ljubljana

*starts shaking uncontrolably on the floor, drooling*

# ? Feb 18, 2017 20:38

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 11:34

JuulPodSaveAmerica

darth_pizza posted:

*starts shaking uncontrolably on the floor, drooling*

Oh no!

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i honestly believe you are tripping right now.

# ? Feb 18, 2017 20:40

Uxzuigal: Chill Berserker Dude

Inmate to female guard: Wanna... carpe noctem?

<3 <3 Vanisher

# ? Feb 18, 2017 21:00

Senior Management

Охрана! Схватить его!

:jerry:

# ? Feb 19, 2017 15:01

Chill la Chill: Don't lose your gay

Vynar posted:

We were so focused on whether or not we could seize him we never considered if we should.

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan

_{_{thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av}}

# ? Feb 19, 2017 16:59

the littlest prince

*in south africa, man runs down the street, past the local bank*

*guards, posted outside the door, notice him*

# ? Feb 19, 2017 17:08

the littlest prince

This special job is very important. Because of its difficult and... sensitive... nature, your pay will be doubled. You must not speak of it to anyone.

There is a local man, he owns a shop. Sells various antiquities and rare goods. His next shipment comes on Tuesday, and with it an abnormally special product. I must have it. Go at night, and be quick about it, but above all do not get caught.

I do not doubt that by the time you get there, it will be well hidden. You will need to question him to get its location. The object you seek is 3-5 feet long, and will probably be white. It loosely resembles the shape of a cornucopia. Usually I would not disclose these details, but it is very important you get the right item. It is a rhino's horn. You see, my wife and I cannot conceive, and this man holds the means to our reproduction, and I must have it. Seize him.

# ? Feb 19, 2017 17:31

Twerkteam Pizza

*I stop to catch my breath as the hero runs out of the castle*

"Can I take the armor off?"

# ? Feb 20, 2017 21:30

Cymbal Monkey: Lift Your Little Paws Like Antennas to Heaven!

Twerkteam Pizza posted:

*I stop to catch my breath as the hero runs out of the castle*

"Can I take the armor off?"

let me help you there bro

# ? Feb 20, 2017 21:48

yeah actually they will

"What are you gonna do, seize me?" -Quote from man seized

# ? Feb 21, 2017 00:14

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

no they will not posted:

"What are you gonna do, seize me?" -Quote from man seized

# ? Feb 21, 2017 02:58

google THIS

no they will not posted:

"What are you gonna do, seize me?" -Quote from man seized

# ? Feb 21, 2017 05:15

Piso Mojado

no they will not posted:

"What are you gonna do, seize me?" -Quote from man seized

# ? Feb 21, 2017 05:59

alpaca diseases

"I got all taffin night to find you taffer"

# ? Feb 21, 2017 06:55

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

Yeah, boss, we sees 'im. Whaddaya want us ta do, like, goes after hims or somethin?

# ? Feb 21, 2017 11:49

JuulPodSaveAmerica

Hugh Malone posted:

Yeah, boss, we sees 'im. Whaddaya want us ta do, like, goes after hims or somethin?

Play it like you feel it!

----------------
i honestly believe you are tripping right now.

# ? Feb 21, 2017 18:20

FutonForensic

guards... deez him

guys... i said deez him. cmon. it always used to make you laugh

guys nooooo

# ? Feb 21, 2017 18:42

LawfulWaffle: Well, that aligns with the vibes I was getting. Which was, like, "normal" kinda vibes.

"I'm sorry, I don't know how to seize him."

>Guards! Grab him!

"I do not see any him to grab."

>Grab the man!

"Who are you speaking to?"

>Guards! He's getting away!

"I'm sorry, I don't know how to he's getting away."

# ? Feb 21, 2017 19:28

lmbo calrissian: i'm into fashion
men are my passion

FutonForensic posted:

guards... deez him

Guards, deez nuts him. Deez nuts him.

# ? Feb 21, 2017 19:46

FutonForensic

lmbo calrissian posted:

Guards, deez nuts him. Deez nuts him.

# ? Feb 21, 2017 20:29

social vegan

Guard 1: u-uh... sure, I guess...

Guards: *put wallet in his mouth and hold him down, shaking him a little and looking at me for approval*

# ? Feb 21, 2017 21:24

Senior Management

And thus the great crime wave persisted. When presented with their one chance to apprehend the infamous kingpin the guards instead that they covered him in salt, pepper, and a little bit of thyme.

:jerry:

# ? Feb 21, 2017 23:05

Manifisto

okay sir I'm sure the guard sees him, but how exactly is that going to stop him from getting away?

# ? Feb 22, 2017 01:27

I Was The Fury: Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Person: "Guards, SEIZE HIM!!!!"

guard: "Actually, citizen, we are referred to as officers now. In addition, the proper term for the act of stopping a criminal with physical force and keeping him under our direct physical control is called 'apprehending' now. Finally, you are not above us on the chain of authority and we are not required to follow your orders..."

Criminal: *gets away*

~~guard~~police officer: "...without either a warrant for the man's arrest or evidence of a crime being committed. In conclusion, we are officers, not guards; we apprehend, we do not seize; and we do not answer to your questionable lack of authority. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. The other half is fighting the hemorrhoids that come with driving around for a nine hour shift looking for evil-doers. And now you know that, which is also half of the battle"

# ? Feb 22, 2017 05:01

google THIS

"Guard! Seize him!"

"It's a woman."

"Fine! Guard, seize her!"

"I have a name, you know."

"What?"

"It's Salad."

"Enough! Salad, seize her!"

"..."

"..."

"This was a lot funnier in my head."

# ? Feb 22, 2017 05:14

Piso Mojado

google THIS posted:

"Guard! Seize him!"

"It's a woman."

"Fine! Guard, seize her!"

"I have a name, you know."

"What?"

"It's Salad."

"Enough! Salad, seize her!"

"..."

"..."

"This was a lot funnier in my head."

ah chicken seize her salad

# ? Feb 22, 2017 05:58

Cymbal Monkey: Lift Your Little Paws Like Antennas to Heaven!

*slips shoulder strap down*
That's right boys, seize me.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 12:42

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

no they will not posted:

"What are you gonna do, seize me?" -Quote from man seized

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 23, 2017 02:15

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

*the fearsome supervillain "big cheese" is robbing a bank when our hero arrieves*
big cheese: minions, CHEESE HIM!!!!

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 23, 2017 02:18

Applewhite: by vyelkin

*slams fists on balustrade and trembles with rage as entire platoon of elite guards are mowed down*

What are you doing? He's right there! Stop him, you IMBECILES!

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 23, 2017 03:08