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I have a couple stories So back in 05-06 Baghdad I was an FO(13f) attached to a cav scout platoon... My Desert Rose - The first time I was hit by an IED, I was a gunner in some dumb convoy to bring paperwork from FOB justice out to Camp Liberty along with some POGs who were working with detainees. The POG in our truck was some female JAG major who was ugly even on deployment. She sat behind the TC white knuckling her rifle the whole ride so far. We were most of the way through the quiet trip and hopped off the main highway to try and avoid taking the same way in every time. We were the lead truck and I was busy scanning and looking for suspicious trash piles as opposed to the regular trash piles. We were doing a good 40 mph when something looked off about a dirt mound at my 1 O'clock. I was trying to figure out what caught my eye when things go sideways. Time seemed to slow down a bit, I remember seeing a large black and brown expanding cloud rise from the dirt pile. There a split second of confusion as I was not sure what I was looking at and then the blast knocked me out. I came to shortly after on my stomach on the floor of the truck, with my face jammed directly in this majors crotch. My legs were tangled in the gunners strap because the turret had apparently swung while I went down. As I regained my awareness I heard our TC/LT yelling my name repeatedly and asking if I was alright. I checked my junk(my biggest fear) and gave an affirmative. I rolled the rest of the way out of the good major's lap and looked up with a "sorry ma'am" and she was completely silent but had a terrified expression on her face that you could see through her sunglasses. My LT still laughs about that and said he saw her in Afghanistan a few years ago. Fire for Effect Towards the end of our tour we got tasked with babysitting a power station outside Abu Grhaib for a few weeks. It was a cake assignment. Just one cav scout platoon at a time for a week, while the others in the troop lived out of Camp Liberty and patrolled our surrounding sector in shifts. So we were sitting in sandbagged positions on the roof tops in 8 hour shifts with the rest of the time spent jacking it or whatever. We would occasionally call for illum rounds from the mortar section at the nearby prison since our positions were surrounded by tall grass and it was hard to see poo poo sometimes while your eyes play tricks on you in the dark. It was also a way to indicate that we were paying attention at night to anyone scoping us out. During our tour we had kind of turned jacking off in strange places into a game. The stranger the place the more bragging rights you had. After a few days of this our platoon sergeant had dared me to call for the next round of illum in my underwear. Which I did and took a picture for proof. After the fire mission he said "I'll bet you won't do it while jacking off." At this point I was eleven months into the tour and I would and could jack off anywhere. I took that bet. The next night I prepped, I had some lotion, some porn on my iPod, and some mortars on standby. I was on the tallest building in our compound with a fighting position that overlooked our western side and the center of the compound. Now if you've never seen illum rounds, they are a flare on a parachute that will light up hundreds of square meters at a time. I guessed the wind and planned it so my illum would drift right over my position. The first round fell straight to the ground because the parachute got tangled and melted. It hit the tall grass 200 meters outside our compound and started a small brush fire. The target was good though so I got myself going and called for a fire for effect with 5 rounds with a delay between them. The rounds started lighting up everything around us as they drifted overhead. As I neared the conclusion of my magnum opus, I walked out of the position to the edge of the building overlooking our compound. I had my radio on my back, the mic jammed into my helmet straps, my rifle hanging on my side, my pants off, my iPod in my left and my dick in my right. The smell and smoke from the newly started fire gave everything an otherworldly feel. As I finished a disgusted cry of what the fuuuuuck? drifted up.
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Jun 4, 2017 19:30
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| # ¿ May 17, 2024 17:18 |
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