i have a weird and useless superpower

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Quidthulhu: Stand down, men! It's only smooching!

every time i am listening to some sick rear end dub reggae i always go "man, this is a long album! i wonder if i went on to a new album in the playlist?" and then i'll go check and i will be on the LAST TRACK of the album! every drat time!

i am a magical boy!

what is your weird and useless superpower??

# ? Feb 19, 2017 06:31

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 02:29

Dads Dip Cup

I can tell exactly how many squares are left in the roll of toilet paper

# ? Feb 19, 2017 06:43

Rushi: by Smythe

i can tell when something is tiny and cute

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# ? Feb 19, 2017 06:44

Piso Mojado

I can always guess which cabinet has the cups on the first try when visiting friends houses.

# ? Feb 19, 2017 06:45

Quidthulhu: Stand down, men! It's only smooching!

I can tell when someone is going to sneeze, it's this weird thing where I can see their face scrunch up before it happens. If I say "bless you" it saves them from tragedy!

# ? Feb 19, 2017 06:58

Piso Mojado

my sweat can be used as an on-the-go fabric stain remover

# ? Feb 19, 2017 07:05

Piso Mojado

When I get angry i grow an orange-like peel around my skin

# ? Feb 19, 2017 07:09

Piso Mojado

The Human Peel

# ? Feb 19, 2017 07:11

Piso Mojado

Oh you like apples? Well how do you like THESE apples! *literally starts growing apples*

# ? Feb 19, 2017 07:14

Piso Mojado

I can excrete the sexual pheramones of craneflies, but only for good.

# ? Feb 19, 2017 07:18

BIRDCON 2017

i can shoot powerful lasers out of my eyes but only while im asleep

# ? Feb 19, 2017 07:23

Senior Management

Piso Mojado posted:

I can always guess which cabinet has the cups on the first try when visiting friends houses.

What about inside the homes of your enemies?

:jerry:

# ? Feb 19, 2017 15:03

Manifisto

I can reliably enter the subway station just as the train is pulling away, causing me to reflect on what little things I could have done slightly faster in order to not miss that train

I suppose my life is just a series of "sliding doors" moments, and I'm always the gwyneth who doesn't catch bae in flagrante

# ? Feb 19, 2017 16:07

Elusif

Wot

# ? Feb 19, 2017 16:22

Tane

i can post whatever i want on twitter

because no one reads my tweets

# ? Feb 19, 2017 17:33

Bacon Taco: Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN

My ankles are completely hairless. I don't know why. I don't shave them or do anything to them. They just are. So if some alien menaces Earth and can only be defeated by some dude with no hair on his ankles, wake me up, k?

# ? Feb 20, 2017 00:32

vanisher

Enabling my massive caffeine addiction daily has allowed me to judge the way others choose to prepare their coffee.

# ? Feb 20, 2017 00:40

Quidthulhu: Stand down, men! It's only smooching!

the evil of the world concentrates within me. i am able to expel it, but only about once a day. maybe twice if i have too much dairy.

# ? Feb 20, 2017 02:08

Quidthulhu: Stand down, men! It's only smooching!

(it's a poop joke, i am pretending poop is the evils of the world but that's my character being delusional he is just pooping)

# ? Feb 20, 2017 02:09

Scathach: You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

I can wiggle my ears. A friend of mine had a magnet implanted in his finger. He wins a lot more bar bets than i do with my wigglin' ears

# ? Feb 20, 2017 10:28

google THIS

I recently learned that I have the power to shoot pigment cells from my irises, causing glaucoma to any person I choose as long as that person is me.

# ? Feb 20, 2017 18:07

JuulPodSaveAmerica

i have a case of minor pyromancy and I use it to make sure my cigarettes are always perfectly lit

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i honestly believe you are tripping right now.

# ? Feb 21, 2017 18:24

social vegan

i'm not psychologically ready to let go of my pog slammers

# ? Feb 21, 2017 18:26

LawfulWaffle: Well, that aligns with the vibes I was getting. Which was, like, "normal" kinda vibes.

I can always predict when a traffic light is about to change, unless there is a rival superpower user in the area interfering with my abilities.

# ? Feb 21, 2017 19:33

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

i always notice what song is playing in the background in a restaurant. i never eat a meal in peace.

# ? Feb 21, 2017 20:21

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

I can wordlessly summon a legion of fit af 8 year olds

# ? Feb 22, 2017 00:51

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

I time most my commute jams so that I pull up and pull the key out of the ignition right as the best song ends.

# ? Feb 22, 2017 08:35

HotSoapyBeard: I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN

Whenever I'm late for work I always have just enough time to make it look like I've been doing stuff when my boss arrives

# ? Feb 22, 2017 18:52

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

While watching Jeopardy! I can tell when a question is going to be a Double Jeopardy! question, I think there might be an ever-so-slight delay or something but even when I'm not really paying attention and doing something else but Jeopardy! is on in the background my lizard brain sends an alert and trells me it's one before the Double Jeopardy! pew, pew, pewpewpew! sound kicks in.

I can also sometimes make people on TV say a word out loud that I'm thinking inside my head. I could be thinking about something, deep in thought and while I'm thinking inside my head someone on TV will blurt out one single word at exactly the same time I think it, and it's not a word in typical usage.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Feb 23, 2017 18:24

mags: I am a congenital optimist.

the power to control the temperature of food, but only in varying degrees of confort/disconfort like making oatmeal room temp at will

(crossover post from the wishes thread)

paul_soccer12 posted:

everyone in the idf must die

(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Feb 24, 2017 02:57

Malah

I can safely remove the third block of a Jenga layer, but only when it's not my turn.

Malah fucked around with this message at 05:11 on Feb 24, 2017

# ? Feb 24, 2017 04:42

nobodygetshurt

i can keep a secret for exactly 2.5 secondsIT WAS ME I ATE THE SANDWICH IN THE OFFICE FRIDGE THAT WAS CLEARLY LABELLED FOR JEREMY I'M SORRY!

# ? Feb 24, 2017 20:18

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

I can shower very effectively in a relatively short period of time

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:34

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 02:29

eonwe

I can drive all the way home from work without staring at my cell phone the entire time

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:47

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