Jawdins posted:

bigfoot is a hoax you idiot

bunky posted:

too many big feet, not enough gardens. 4 stars.

Jawdins posted:

BIGFACT: Bigfoot doesn't like cameras (because he's fake)

BIGFACT: Bigfoot only hunts in the coldest of winters (so no one can take his picture)

Nonviolent J posted:

and to hope to catch a glimpse of bigfoots hairy cock

Nonviolent J posted:

How does one go about coercing the bigfoot to remove said clothes

bunky posted:

opening soon: largefoot bogtown. "don't get fooled by the garden! dip your feet into the bog!"
sorry about your business

various cheeses posted:

How do we know the bigfoots are anatomically correct?

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

various cheeses posted:

Can you tell me more about the bigfoot grading scale?

...and the pitch! posted:

The southern hemisphere has tiny feet

...and the pitch! posted:

Good point. Head shrinking is also from the northern hemisphere.

Fastball LIVE in concert posted:

What kind of cigarettes does Bigfoot prefer? And do they ever buy their own packs or just bum them off people?

Keith Atherton posted:

I grew up in central Washington state (wild Bigfoot country) and my older brother told me he woke up in the middle of the night and a Sasquatch (wild/unemployed Bigfoot) was looking in his bedroom window.

If I travel to Bigfoot Gardens will the Bigfoots mind their beeswax and not peer in my window at night?

various cheeses posted:

Can you get AIDS from eating infected bigfoot meat?

Keith Atherton posted:

My wife is concerned about nocturnal hooting keeping her awake.

Also are there child Bigfoots around and if so are they kept busy in classes or are they running around and getting underfoot all the time.

myDad posted:

Do you do birthdays?

hth posted:

I need flintstone vitamins but instead of flintstones its the jetsons and instead of vitamins its military grade amphetamines

Does your fancy food court, laden down with all its feudalistic trappings, have that?

myDad posted:

Is the hand-feeding exhibit still closed?

Keith Atherton posted:

Thank you

Are the bigfoots allowed to accept monetary tips or snacks?

Shaquin posted:

what is the rate to bed a brace of their women

Choco1980 posted:

What do you do with the bodies when a 'foot meets its naturally caused death? Do you provide maps for those who are mourning? What is the shovel policy of these sites? Asking for a friend who is just curious, and whose bigfoot restaurant is definitely accredited.

Shaquin posted:

would it be possible to get time with the eponymous feet

The Ghoul posted:

Isaac, how do you respond to the allegations that "Peek n Poke" suites serve as underage Bigfoot brothels overseen by the villainous "Brod"?

Smash it Smash hit posted:

i injured my leg at the log shoot swamp slide, :[ there was no water in the swamp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smash it Smash hit posted:

wow do i feel gyped or what?!

Free Cheese posted:

We got bigfoot flambee, bigfoot corndogs, boiled bigfoot, fried bigfoot, bigfoot pudding, candied bigfoot, spaghetti and bigfoot, bigfoot burgers, biscuits n bigfoot, dry aged bigfoot, spiral cut bigfoot, honey baked bigfoot, bigfoot blended into a fine paste and frozen into spheres using liquid nitrogen,

Hustlin Floh posted:

My offshore holdings shell corporation/PMC is interested in sponsoring an after school program called Bigfoots Rock! We envision it as a voyage of learning and discovery in which children can experiment with dropping different sized boulders from varying heights onto Bigfoot heads in an attempt to smash their skulls. If you're interested in a partnership please contact Dynamic Solutions LLC.

jazzyhattrick posted:

Hey OP, I'm the head of corporate relations at Xynos Biogenics. We've recently made a huge breakthrough in successfully synthesizing a genetically stable Sasquatch-Yeti hybrid. It's official name is Organism X/MP-AMH27615-Q, but the guys in the lab have nicknamed this gentle giant the Sasqueti.

We are having a proof of concept demonstration for selected representatives of the defense, medical testing, leisure, food service and sex industries. This event will be held on the 27th of july at our state of the art research and testing site on Los Islas Redactidos.

If the top brass at Bigfoot Gardens want to catch a glimpse of the future please respond with the details of each member of your delegation no later than the end of march so that we have the necessary time to conduct security background checks and schedule helicopter transit.

Nigmaetcetera posted:

poo poo I better call my mom, she loves Tracy Chapman. Also K.D. Lang. She claims not to be a lesbian and I have my doubts about that, but I have the good taste not to push the matter, just like I have the good taste not to demand to know the ingredients of your world famous 'Foot-Long 'Dogs. They're pretty goddamn good with some hotsauce though.

Nigmaetcetera posted:

Last time I visited Bigfoot Gardens (the best vacation of my life btw) I was instructed to make sure the K.D. Lang cover album "Drag" was not audible to the bigfoots, because though almost every song is about smoking, the 'foots know that while recording the album Ms. Lang was in the process of quitting tobacco smoking. Is this policy still in effect or can I subject others to my musical tastes now?

Free Cheese posted:

There's bigfoot coasters, bigfoot slingshots, bigfoot scramblers, bigfoot monorails, bigfoot lazy river, that new ride where they finally let you gently caress the bigfoots, haunted bigfoot house, bigfoot flume, inverted bigfoot, the 3d bigfoot experience, bigfoot peepshow, cirque de bigfoot, bumper bigfoots, bob for the bigfoot, bigfoot ringtoss, bigfoot slip n slide, zipfoot, big mcfoot's house of curiosities, snorkel with the bigfoots, escape from lint mountain, that ride where you spin so fast you're stuck to the walls but it's a giant bigfoot head, bigfoot themed arcades, build a bigfoot,

JiveHonky posted:

i still wanna be the school nurse of bigfoot gardens. give you a physical exam or a nice quiet place to take a nap.