Lol. Just Lol At The Nintendo Switch.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Lol. Just Lol At The Nintendo Switch.

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

SeXReX posted:

lol the new zeldumb doesn't even have an hour of unskippable cut scenes with Hollywood voice actors what a loving joke of a "game"
https://twitter.com/SethBling/status/836302637716819969

This Game Can Be Completed in Less Than an Hour, And Here's Why That's a Good Thing

Do you write for Buzzfeed?

# ¿ Feb 28, 2017 12:51

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# ¿ May 3, 2024 20:35

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Teikanmi posted:

Hey who is excited about playing Zelda or [OTHER NINTENDO SWITCH GAME]???

I'm excited to buy the same games they have been selling me for 20 years again, but on even more lacking hardware. I loving LOVE NINTENDO

# ¿ Feb 28, 2017 12:52

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Has Nintendo declared bankruptcy yet

# ¿ Mar 1, 2017 12:04

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

bitmap posted:

hff hff hff and pay an UNREASONABLE PRICE for a SUB OPTIMAL CONSOLE you STUPID oval office?? *has a $14,000 steam library*

I will blindly buy any old garbage because I'm smart

# ¿ Mar 1, 2017 14:41

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

frakeaing HAMSTER DANCE posted:

Lol 6.7 why don't you just buy a loving Ouya?

*hears "wide variety of games"*
*closes video, smh*

# ¿ Mar 1, 2017 18:35

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Code Jockey posted:

lmao the switch is my computer from 5 years ago

My cheap laptop with a mobile GPU from six years ago played games that looked better than their showcase.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2017 23:46

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Teikanmi posted:

There's also the issue that once this piece of poo poo comes out no one will ever buy their consoles again and so they won't waste their precious pile of cash on another turd

Manchildrenwho adore zeldas and marios would keep buying the same console twice a year if they released limited editions with exclusive faceplates. 2040 and retards are still paying 300 bucks for the original nintendo switch, except this time the controllers are pink and with a picture of yoshis feet

# ¿ Mar 2, 2017 10:34

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

sale on Banksy art posted:

I looked up the quarterly report and you're right, the stats are out of date. They have 5.8 billion USD in the bank now, probably due in part to the billion dollars in profit they had made by Dec. 31.

Probably on account of them selling off their tangible long term assets like crazy.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2017 12:35

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

"u can play all the retro gaems on it" is like the most stupid argument to me

"true, there are no tv shows that can take advantage of my 4K 144fps OLED screen, but at least I can watch Edison's Blacksmith Sneezing on it again and again because it's a great retro movie"

# ¿ Mar 2, 2017 13:43

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

old games are pure garbage

# ¿ Mar 2, 2017 13:44

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Uncle at Nintendo posted:

welp looks like I'll have to eat crow and admit this might end up being a good game (I was skeptical because it was the same guy responsible for Skyward Sword and Twilight Princess...maybe they yelled at him until he did good??)

Whatever happened to ethics in game journalism?

# ¿ Mar 2, 2017 17:09

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Lodin posted:

Don't steal my posts, dillweed.

I found a horsey.

muddy, cel shaded pos

10/10

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 08:27

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Trunko posted:

This looks pretty good for a junior higher art contest entry

incredible beauty the likes of which have not been achieved since times of michelangelo

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 09:09

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Paladinus posted:

Lmao.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOUPbSakz9M

it has force feedback? wow

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 12:12

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

bitmap posted:

fat guy in a COD collectors edition exclusive shirt: "Nintendo is for GAY BABIES its for CHILDREN enjoy your fisher price "console" LOL"

some people enjoy the schadenfreude of a company with a lot of attached obsessives going slowly but surely tits up

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 13:40

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Kainser posted:

Game reviews are a joke until they give the game I like 10/10, then they are completely justified

Dragon Age 2 is a 9.7 masterpiece and anybody who disagrees is a jealous manchild

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 17:10

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

I can choose between Switch and OUYA, which one has more raw power, that's the key point for me

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 18:22

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Professor SJW posted:

lol you sound like every pc gamer whining about graphics on steam reviews

as a mature adult, i believe that the "video" part of "video games" is just superfluous garbage. i can appreciate a series of incoherent images flashing randomly on my screen like a true connoisseur of arts

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 19:50

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Lurker Ant posted:

Aaaaaaand of course people are bitching about graffix. You've got what is basically a portable Xbox One and you're whining because it's not a portable PS4 Pro. /gamers.png

lol, you think PS4 is an ethalon of graphics

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 19:50

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Lurker Ant posted:

Pretty sure "ethalon" isn't a word (and my browser is putting a red line under it as well), but according to Bing "etalon" means "a device consisting of two reflecting glass plates, employed for measuring small differences in the wavelength of light using the interference it produces." So I suppose a PS4 + TV setup could be considered an etalon device.

See, I too can make ridiculous extrapolations to avoid addressing the point of my opponent's argument.

French �talon standard of weights and measures, from Middle French estalon, estelon, probably of Germanic origin; akin to Frisian stal shape, form

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 20:01

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

gary oldmans diary posted:

My gaming PC upgrades in the last few years are:
1 EVGA GTX 1060 for $240
That is all.

Rocking an old Intel Pentium G3258 I got for $30 forever ago and other parts in the PC I've had since well into last console gen. I play games at 4K resolution with far better resolution, detail, and frame rates.
I can buy brand new games at launch for much less than they cost on consoles.
Backwards-compatibility? Going back about 35 years or so.
Open platform? Yep.
Bla, bla, bla. Check, check, check.

The people who make stupid comparisons like $2500 to $300 are people who think the only way to have a gaming machine is to go to alienware.com. Please go on about the merits of the nintendo switch vs PCs.

lol if ur using 1060 on a 4k display

though its still less of a waste than using a nintendo console on anything above SD

# ¿ Mar 3, 2017 21:42

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

a bone to pick posted:

It seem that the console is poo poo, but zelda is very good, a good launch title can move systems

Maybe tens of thousands units. Not millions, which is what Nintendo needs.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2017 10:00

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

gary oldmans diary posted:

nah a 6GB 1060 and 4k g-sync monitor is a pretty ace setup as it turns out. probably because at this resolution and pixel pitch you can drop the fsaa setting a notch lower and still have aliasing look better than the higher setting on a 1080p monitor. being able to turn down the most demanding setting like that is a huge boost. and g-sync is crazy good

Fair enough!

# ¿ Mar 4, 2017 10:01

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Rutibex posted:

no bluetooth? did nintendo invent their own proprietary wireless standard for these joycons, or are they just no letting you use the features of the Android tablet you bought?

Guessing from the desyncing and other issues, their wireless technology is mostly prayer based.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2017 17:12

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Now that they are selling a pro controller that works, will they also be releasing a pro console that can play the games?

# ¿ Mar 5, 2017 01:14

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Rutibex posted:

nintnedo only has 5 game they make over and over. they cant release them all at once, they need to spread them out so they have good profit numbers every quarter

Was there a metroid game for the we you

# ¿ Mar 5, 2017 09:29

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Alan_Shore posted:

Do you remember when you just bought a console at launch and everything was just loving there and loving worked? None of this patch poo poo later, yes it's slow and loads and is a mess but we just wanted to get it out to you fast!

The Dreamcast was peak launch. Everything worked. Stunning line up of games. A constant stream of games to keep you happy. The PS2 launch was a goddamn catastrophe. As was the PS3, and Wii U, and now the Switch.

What happened to quality? To proper planning?

I mean old consoles didn't have gimmicks, online garbage, OS that took up half the operating power... And when they did have gimmicks, those also did more harm than good.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2017 12:13

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Mandator posted:

i get that it shouldn't happen, but if it does, does it honestly ruin something for you?

i'm not sure how many dead pixels it would take for me to seek an exchange, but it'd have to be a lot

Well, I guess if being a sucker works for you...

# ¿ Mar 5, 2017 19:38

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

A bad meal is going to bother me for a couple minutes. A dead pixel is going to be in my face for years. My last laptop had a bunch of dead pixels for a long time before I threw it out, my current phone also has a defective cluster, and while I tolerate it, it is super annoying. Getting dead pixels on a brand new device would be a good reason for me to return it, though.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2017 19:50

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

OTOH the Switch may be a special case, seeing as nobody is going to touch it a week after purchase.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2017 19:54

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

These defects in your consumer electronics are actually very artisanal.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2017 20:09

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Next they will fix the part where the console can't play games more advanced than 2005 Newgrounds stuff without melting?

# ¿ Mar 5, 2017 22:37

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

wow a game is fun

100/10

# ¿ Mar 6, 2017 16:56

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

this movie kept my attention for two hours

give it all the oscars

# ¿ Mar 6, 2017 16:56

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Games like Witcher and Horizon do not allow you to engage with powerful brands like ZeldaTM.

Reviewers love nothing more than engaging with brands because it generates free traffic.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2017 17:33

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Carmant posted:

I guess I can see someone liking the Witcher 3 more if they really like trashy young adult fantasy novels or something but Horzion Zero Dawn.. just lol...

When I think Zelda, I think mature storytelling and class

# ¿ Mar 6, 2017 19:48