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"Yeah, yeah everything, please." you say without taking your eyes off your phone. A bowl clatters on the lunch counter and, still transfixed, you snatch up the food, pay, and settle in to eat. It's delicious. A grain blend, medium rare beef, fresh veggies. Ohh, even a bit of kick! Serrano? You google "serano." Heat builds a bit, you think while thumb-typing a tweet: "Call me Pepper Pete, cause I'm sweet then spicy." You smile to yourself. Jeez, how much did they put in this. You look around the cafeteria as though some skulking pepperman would be hiding back there. No, just a regular lunch line. You sneeze. Your nose is starting to run and your eyes are itchy just from leaning over your lunch. You wipe your nose with your free hand careful not to either touch your eyes or stop scrolling. You almost choke as you swallow a bite and cough a little at the same time. You're panting, when did you start panting? The screen's blurring. You wipe your forearm across your face smearing tears and snot. There is a jungle cat in your stomach, it is snarling and lurching through your depths. How much loving Serrano was in this thing? You double over. You're hacking now coughing right into your tray. You wave off a concerned worker. If you could speak you would say "I'm fine, really." You manage a smile and taste the salty mucus running down your face. You can't stop sneezing. Sweet jesus, what is that? A pink, tubular mass is waggling from your face. Did you just prolapse a sinus? Is that a thing? No, it is not a thing. You feel the purple worm undulating from the back of your throat, sliding through your skull, and plopping out your nostril: the largest snot glob on God's green earth is luging out of your nose. You aren't sure what the manager is trying to say to you, but you're pretty sure you caught "banned" and "horrifying." Yeah, that sounds about right. Still, pretty good for $6.99. |
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Feb 23, 2017 21:26
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 07:47 |
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