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instead of one everfull jar of peanut butter I must occasionally scrape out the remains of the old jar, rinse/wash it, recycle it, then open the next jar of peanut butter that is waiting in the pantry this is an unwelcome and intrusive disruption to my peanut-butter-eating routine |
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Feb 21, 2017 16:42
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 06:16 |
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you're here to kick rear end and chew bubblegum, and you've got like 14 packs of bubblegum because you bought it at costco and thought you were getting a deal, failing to realize--as you always do--that if you leave most of that bubblegum in the closet for years before throwing it away you probably ended up spending more on bubblegum than you would have by buying the single pack you originally wanted |
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Feb 22, 2017 03:05
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Piso Mojado posted:you want to weed it up but instead you find a cricket has made your nugz into a cozy house so you ask to come in but ur too big so he offers to come into your house instead which technically hes already in but no sense in arguing with a cricket you know, so right when he leaves a spider comes down to eat him but he gets tangled in his own web and falls face first into the weed nug cottage and wrecks it, breaking the crickets fine china that he was planning on using when his mother in law visited not that she ever does because she is very disapointed in her daughter for marrying outside her cricket caste and cant bear to see her daughter live in such poor weed nug conditions, but i digress.. nice merger of subject matter and creative inspiration |
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Feb 22, 2017 15:28
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Uxzuigal posted:You talk to a hot girl on the sidewalk, a dog passes by and drive-by farts.. there is no one else near, and the smell is delayed for a few seconds - the girl is disgusted, pukes on your shoes, runs of screaming and posts it on her facebook wall, tags you, her friends laughs and shares - suddenly you are an internet sensation in the worst possible way. no publicity is bad publicity |
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Feb 22, 2017 23:27
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Kthulhu5000 posted:You're a venomous mini-cobra, trying to get some sleep before you have to wake up and go to the plant for your graveyard shift. You get into your sneaker bed and try to doze off, but are rudely awakened by some human oaf sticking their foot into it and yelling "gently caress my life! loving snakes in my shoes!". you mull popping out, hissing and fangs bared, giving this human cretin a double dose injection of venom, but think better of it and lethargically slither away to underneath the cold living room futon AS PER USUAL EVERY drat DAY. you sigh and curl up, shivering. A hardworking cobra will never win in this world or get a break. |
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Feb 23, 2017 00:53
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 06:16 |
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BIRDCON 2017 posted:in a sudden twist, the facebook post sparks such outrage that an angry mob forms and mercilessly clubs you to death. now you are in hell and face an eternity of the One True Inconvenience. all I hear is "brand awareness," "increased market penetration," "mindshare," etc. |
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Feb 23, 2017 18:39
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