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SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

skaboomizzy posted:

Deputy Assistant Secretary of Drinking This Box of Wine

Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life

-Dixie Carter

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SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

Ghidzilla posted:

At this point who is even on the roster? I am so confused.

off the top of my head:

-o/~ A-ron Re-e-ex o/~
-the guy who sings "A-ron Re-e-ex"
-Bobby Lashley
-Eee Cee Three
-the Marilyn Manson edgelords
-those wolf guys
-the Dummy Yeah guy
-Tyrus
-MOOSE!

If that white-hot roster doesn't get your heart pounding, well, I dunno what to tell you

SatansOnion fucked around with this message at 08:00 on Mar 2, 2017

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

Sanguinia posted:

Well, I guess you can't say they're not trying.

By a certain definition of trying.

He's right. Example: "Many wrestlers on the TNA roster find the process of collecting money from the company for their time exasperating and trying."

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

-everything to do with Josh Mathews and this Borash douche is pinging my Russo "we just worked our shoot into a shoot work within a workshoot wrapped in a shootey-worky-internet shwoorkoot" douche-dar so hard
-who are these Reno Scum douchebags and why is one of them wearing paintbrushes for sideburns
-wait, these are GFW dudes, I bet
-they won, which reinforces my suspicions
-and their entrance theme is lame. Yeah, I went there. (DCC's is nothing special either, imo.)

SatansOnion fucked around with this message at 02:28 on Mar 10, 2017

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

-Spud's the ring announcer now! I dunno if he's still wearing the Aron Rex conductor outfit.
-those "notes from OWNERSHIP" Borash just mentioned sound kind of ominous
-speaking of the announcers, I'm plumbing new depths of disgust and irritation with everyone at this table not called Da Pope
-I would not have guessed that J-E-double-F would go for a Miss Havisham angle :v:

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

-they're using the title of Schitt's Creek as a substitute swear and it is not clever or welcome
-and all the loving bickering, Jesus Christ
-a Mike Tenay namedrop
-the way they're teasing this taped segment with the Hardys, you'd almost think they were still on the roster :allears:

edit:

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I literally want to perpetrate physical violence upon Josh Mathews.

just save a little for the rest of us

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

SamuraiFoochs posted:

Why are we doing this to ourselves, SatansOnion?

Oh God I'm agreeing with Mathews. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Because for every hundred shitshows, my good SamuraiFoochs, you occasionally find a rare and wondrous jewel like the Broken Hardys, and those moments make the poo poo-wading just about worthwhile

You ever read Terry Pratchett's Dodger? we're pro wrestling's toshers, in this thread

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

Maybe he could become #Woken Matt Hardy, left-wing firebrand

or how about #Token Matt, the only honky in a stable of international stars

he might even get away with a video game gimmick, #Hadouken Matt Hardy

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011


If we can get him to read this aloud, do you think it would send his stupid gimmick back to its home dimension?

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

Meanwhile, here and now:

:sparkles: do we have a problem?

:wink: I dunno, do we?

:sparkles: I dunno, do we?

:wink: I dunno, do we?

too loving long later~

:sparkles: u need to apologize to me!

:wink: no u apologize to me!

:argh: NO U APOLOGIZE TO MY COUSIN! YOU KNOW I'M A HEEL BECAUSE I HAVE NO INSIDE VOICE!

commentary :angel: My goodness, how dare these monsters treat Karen Jarrett so callously!

commentary :devil: Nah she totally deserved it because I despise good things and nice people, nyeheheh (also follow my twitter at the real commentary :devil: )

commentary :confuoot: the Pope's got no idea what's what but hell, it's this or the unemployment line

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SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

DJExile posted:

....what?

That's what I'd like to know!

(This week's Impact features a segment with Karen Jarrett demanding an apology from the Knockout with the big black feather collar. There's been maybe one match so far, buried beneath a gigantic, rocklike turd of :words: . Before you ask, my main reason for still watching is morbid curiosity. )

SatansOnion fucked around with this message at 01:55 on Mar 31, 2017

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