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Me: I'd like to order a pizza. Me: Make it an extra large meat lovers. Me: Ok, now can you bring three pizza boxes. Me: I need the thrill of the hunt. |
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Mar 6, 2017 01:09
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FutonForensic posted:me: hi FBI guy ---------------- |
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Mar 6, 2017 15:49
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Me: Eggs, cheese, hot sauce...uhh..kitty litter. Russian agent: Vy are you sayink dis to me Comrade, is not in codebook. *files FOIA request, goes grocery shopping 2 1/2 years later* ---------------- |
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Mar 6, 2017 16:15
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Manifisto posted:me, into banana: hello? HELLO? Apple Criminal: Check him to make sure he's not wearing a wire *Apple goons peel the banana* ---------------- |
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Mar 7, 2017 17:56
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I added a third thing to my morse code: squiggle. The FBI is working overtime to decrypt my communications.
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Mar 9, 2017 15:44
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Vynar posted:who wiretaps the the wiretappers? Jake Tapper ---------------- |
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Mar 10, 2017 22:58
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Vynar posted:All of the government agencies are wiretapping me. As are all of the branches of the military, local police, coast guard, and amazon dot com. Imagine the raging party I came home to when all of their agents accidentally showed up to wiretap me at the same time. They drank all my beer and clogged all of my toilets. I am now completely out of doritos. Oh well I guess I can have the amazon guy order me some more. ---------------- |
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Mar 10, 2017 22:58
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The FBI is listening to my microwave. FBI: We think he's using some kind of code. First he says "Mmm, I can't wait to eat this Hot Pocket" and then there's a scream of pain. He does it every night at 9:30 PM. ---------------- |
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Mar 14, 2017 14:58
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