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I couldn't find an equivalent thread. I'm almost 40. I've owned my house for 15 years. Both my parents and all my grandparents died, and I don't have any brothers or sisters. So I have inherited a crap-load of (good and bad) ancient furniture, mirrors, art (no Rembrandts lol sorry goons, I'm not rich), 3 tons of books (which I had to stash in the attic and all available spaces and still had to give away 3/4th of them  I picked the oldest stuff and the first editions and the things I really wanted and it still took 3 pick-up trucks. Books are HEAVY . My dad had like a 8 foot tall by 15 foot wall of books that were 2 deep )a lot of small decorations that mean a lot to me, some jewelry. Christmas ornaments, Hanukah ornaments, trophies, pool table, couches, Tv's, consoles, dining table, chairs, sideboards, quilts, antique lamps, tables, good cookware, dining sets, silverware, and boxes and boxes of documents, albums, pictures, etc. Also, on my own since I've had my own house, I have some pretty good furniture that I bought myself including a huge King-size four poster bed that's really exceptional quality, and some really expensive rugs. I would rate my furniture around a Crate and Barrel average (like some stuff is crap, but some is exceptionally nice or antique) I have a full 3 floor townhouse of stuff and I live alone. I have friends that would help me to a point, but where do you start when you have 3 floors that are packed (including hiding space) wall to wall with decent stuff? Maybe I'm ghetto but the last time I moved, I was 24 and buying my first house. It took 3 trips total with a pick-up-truck to get all my stuff here. And it was probably worth $500 total lol. Now its so overwhelming that I don't know where to start. 15 years I've been here, and when I cleaned out my parents' house they were in there 30 years so their furniture was outdated and they also had bad taste :/ Don't get me wrong, I loved them, but it was pretty easy to get rid of the 70's glass and mirror bookcases, you know what I mean? I've never lived in a house that was sold while we were living there and I'm still unclear about how that works at all? Do you take half of your stuff out to a storage space to make it look "sleek" and then OCD clean everything every second of the day in case some stranger wants to come in your house? Seems so creepy to me! I can't imagine a stranger coming to "view" my house on a random Tuesday. I honestly don't understand how it works when you live somewhere that you are selling, because I never had to do it. It's not like it's a hoarder's dream. It's medium sleek and pretty cool and clean except dust (gently caress dust I have a lot of electronics) but It's just 30 times more stuff than I would ever have moved before and I own it, so I have to have a new place to move into or a storage space, and it's so intimidating that I .. ... STOP... STOP... cry.. get frustrated... STOP... etc That's how it is. I just need a starting point. I have these 3 floors of STUFF, including all my many, many hobbies, cabinets full of computer parts, picture frames, all the other detritus that builds up when you stay in one place, and way too many clothes and I don't want to sell my house that is too big for me until my dog passes away, but she's 17 and blind and I owe it to her as my best friend to let her live out her days in an environment that she can navigate, but I want to get started as much as I can in the meantime. QUICK QUESTION: MY HOUSE is packed full of good and bad poo poo but I can't move for an indeterminant period. What do I pack up first? When do I buy the storage space and start hiring people to move stuff? I'm a single woman with a big house full of stuff and I don't know when I will be able to start fixing it up to sell. What do I do first? I'm just overwhelmed I feel like I'm gonna regret this for being so vague... But it's how I feel...
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Mar 8, 2017 08:21
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DoggPickle posted:trophies, pool table, couches, Tv's, consoles, dining table, chairs, sideboards, quilts, antique lamps, tables, good cookware, dining sets, silverware, and boxes and boxes of documents, albums, pictures, etc. Start with this stuff, getting rid of your relatives stuff. Take the documents (that you know have no legal value) to be shredded, along with the photos you don't want. Some places will even bring a truck for a fee and shred it right at your place. Google "document shredding services [your area]". If you think all the things in that list have value, contact an estate sale company. They can appraise it and arrange its sale. They will guide you through the whole process. They take a % of the profit so they are very happy to help. If you don't think much of it is valuable have a yard sale and donate the rest to goodwill or equivalent. Anyway that's where you start. Focus on that. Getting rid of the family backlog of stuff. The rest is easy. To show a place you put things in storage and then hire movers when it's time.
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Mar 8, 2017 09:52
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Scudworth posted:Start with this stuff, getting rid of your relatives stuff. What a pleasant response to a really stupid ranty post. I'm stuck in this limbo where my house is too big for me and I have so much stuff, but I really am gently and respectfully waiting for my blind old 17 year old dog to pass away before I sell my house. It sounds like a petulant excuse for not doing anything, but I really mean it. When I think about how to start beforehand, I just get so overwhelmed! How do you "show" a house that you live in? My parents lived in the house I grew up in until they died. I have only had this one house. It seems so invasive and terrifying for random people to come into your house when you live there. But I guess people do it all the time?
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Mar 8, 2017 23:45
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Best humblebrag ask/tell of March contender here. You show a house by arranging times for prospective buyers to come visit. You can do it yourself or have a realtor assist you with it. Clean up your house, move a lot of your stuff into storage like scudworth said.
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Mar 9, 2017 00:33
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N. Senada posted:Best humblebrag ask/tell of March contender here. I value comfort and dogs and homieness over clean perfection and my house was built in 1967 and has a poo poo-load of bad and old things going on including a really super old kitchen with particle board cabinets. I wasn't trying to brag. I've just never had so much STUFF. I was trying to be genuine and REAL about the stuff worth keeping, and it's really intimidating to be single and 40 and try to deal with a full house of furniture and 3 generations of poo poo that is half valuable and half-sentimental and a further 50% undetermined so nobody else can do it for you. It's really confusing and overwhelming, particularly when you haven't packed up a cardboard box in 15 years. So go screw yourself. Obviously you've had strangers come into your house before, but I haven't, EVER, so it's frickin' weird, and I think that's a justifiable and understandable concern. I also have two dogs and they don't exactly clean up after themselves or retreat quietly to the bedroom when people come by.
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Mar 9, 2017 01:01
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DoggPickle posted:How do you "show" a house that you live in? My parents lived in the house I grew up in until they died. I have only had this one house. It seems so invasive and terrifying for random people to come into your house when you live there. But I guess people do it all the time? If you do it "right" you'll have 1 foot out the door by the time you show it. My mom is currently selling our childhood house and I will give you the following based on what she's done. Two offers in the first week pretty close to her asking price. This isn't a townhouse though, those you can probably skimp on way more and everything will depend on your market. Step one is identify what you REALLY want to keep. And throw out/donate/pay someone to take/what the gently caress ever all the rest. Box it up and get it out. It sucks. Getting rid of books is especially hard, but you need to get everything out. Just get it out. You keep what you reasonably intend to move to a new place and nothing more. You especially sound like you're going to need to get over yourself and sentimentality. No seriously, get all of it out. Put your old garbage furniture ("antiques") in storage if you refuse to trash it. Now that your house is devoid of clutter and bullshit and looks like something you could find on on AirBnB, it's time to start giving everything a good clean and considering fixes and improvements. If you don't care or have the money to do anything major, baseline get any outstanding maintenance poo poo done. Mold, failing roof, junk major appliances, anything basic to the house broken fixed. Get it repainted, the carpets professionally cleaned, and just any glaring flaws addressed. Now look at your market. Go to open houses in your neighborhood! Be a weirdo nosy jerk about houses comparable to yours on sale and see what's going on in there. Do they have bomb rear end kitchens where yours is a single gas burner and a bare lightbulb? Do their bathrooms have 20,000$ japanese toilets that suck you off while you poo poo? Did they just get new windows put in or a basic upgrade of the appliances? Learn your market, what people did to upgrade their houses (if anything), and what they're selling for. Proceed according to your budget and judgement. Now get a real estate agent. They will help you stage it and show it and let you know if you cocked up fixing the house up and need to do something else. IRQ fucked around with this message at 01:40 on Mar 9, 2017 |
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Mar 9, 2017 01:36
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Hey OP, I wasn't trying to undermine your feelings. My thought was that your problem is one I would like to have. I didn't mean to be aggressive and I apologize. I've only done the kinds of moves where you fit everything you want into one not-very-big car and drive to your new place. I'm of the opinion that you should just start giving away stuff you don't need or want to goodwill (especially the many more clothes). You can also check out sites to give away things (I used freecycle both when moving out of a place and moving into a new one). You also sound like you have a lot of anxiety about all of this including how it impacts your relationships.
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Mar 9, 2017 01:47
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N. Senada posted:I've only done the kinds of moves where you fit everything you want into one not-very-big car and drive to your new place. You also sound like you have a lot of anxiety about all of this including how it impacts your relationships. Also thank you for being cool in the end. I didn't mean to be bitchy; this is my HOUSE and my most major investment. I DO have some anxiety about moving but it's not related to my relationships. I'm kinda irritated that you'd say that, but I'm over it. It just "is what it is". My best girlfriend moved to Colorado last year and my best guy-friend moved to California and I don't have any family or a good job here in this incredibly expensive place in a very expensive town, (near D.C) and all "friends" are awesome but 99% of them are married with kids and you have to plan an hour of asking them to do something like a month in advance. I adore my house, it really has character. I've got wooden beams on the ceilings and an original but beat-up parquet floor from the 60's, and an actual brick wall in the basement that is the real brick wall that leads to the outside with a brick fireplace that IDK if it works or not lol, but it's also a gigantic self-doubting, huge pain in the rear end, with rooms I don't even use and a huge backyard that I struggle to take care of, which I think might be a pretty normal reaction if you were in my situation. Something is always breaking. A pipe floods my whole basement, a toilet won't flush, the shower starts coming out in the dining room, some INSANE WEED EPIDEMIC that killed all my plants, the electric constantly overloads a breaker, my 8-foot fence fell down in one spot, the fios line goes out almost every day, my HOA mandated gas-lamp stopped turning on at night, a window refuses to snap shut, the HOA gets on me for not mowing every 2 days. Sometimes when it rains a lot, the floor drain for the washer and dryer actually spews a bit of clay/dirt, and I'm temporally going MAD as they renovate the townhouse next door because it's just BANG BANG BANG from 6AM to dark or 8Pm every day for the last two weeks. I have always aspired to own my own house, which I have done for 15 years, but paying almost $4k a year for the RIGHT to continue to own it (property taxes), and an extraordinarily low HOA fee of $60 a month (most of my friend's HOA'S are closer to $200) makes me feel like I don't actually own it at all anyways. Nobody can park here for 2 minutes without getting scavenger towed. That's why I'm thinking about selling it and *gasp* renting, because owning isn't really worth it anymore. It's like I "sort of" own my land but under a puke-worthy pile of extra circumstances and money and loopholes. Did you know that an HOA can generally put a lean on your house if you don't pay them? So how do you do the visitation thing with one foot out the door when you don't have a new house? That's mainly my problem. Do I need to get a temporary space and just move off for visitors, because I don't know where I want to live yet. I kind of want to just take my little dog and a few months and go around the country and visit all my friends, but I am going to lose SO MUCH money by selling a house without buying a new one. IT's like 30% of your profit if you aren't buying a new house. WTF I PAYED FOR IT ALREADY, WITH TAXES. So I've payed for my house for 15 years, given the government at least 15 years x 3K = 45 thousand dollars+ in straight profit for the RIGHT to live here, on top of the 5% interest that I've been paying my bank. I've been paying upwards of $400 a month for my utilities , and paying to fix every single thing that has ever gone wrong in the house including a new roof, new windows, new stove and fridge, both times that the basement flooded (partially covered by homeowners). I don't think that it's actually a good idea to own a house anymore. Unless you have a SERIOUS set of for-free cool handymen in the family that are versed in drywall, plumbing and electric, an inherited house with no mortgage, or you manage to find a house with no HOA in a state with no property taxes. Property taxes have cost me $45 thousand dollars. $45 THOUSAND DOLLARS, for the RIGHT to own a house that you are already paying for and paying interest on. That's insane. That's more than I made in a year at my tops. I know, I make less than half of the average here, but I am stingy as poo poo and made it work. I got all ranty again. I apologize yet again. I still can't sleep very well with the BANG BANG BANG from next door all the time and my dog being sick.
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Mar 9, 2017 03:11
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IRQ posted:If you do it "right" you'll have 1 foot out the door by the time you show it. My mom is currently selling our childhood house and I will give you the following based on what she's done. Two offers in the first week pretty close to her asking price. This isn't a townhouse though, those you can probably skimp on way more and everything will depend on your market. Thanks IRQ. I know I'm being vague and dumb so I appreciate the post. I have gotten rid of the "antiques" that are just lovely old stuff. I have ~200 original albums from the Beatles to Janis Joplin, to Elvis, to an original signed Yellow Brick Road, and a crazy amount of seriously old people big band music on smaller disks which I don't have the ability to play, but they're from the 1930's/40's. I bet they're rad, even if it's crappy big band music. I have a long low end table from my grandfather that is actually a record player in disguise. It is really nice wood with a fake top and a record player inside that has lovely 1930-s plugs and wiring so I could probably get it fixed. I have piles of news papers with fun headlines like "NIXON RESIGNS" from the Baltimore Sun in 1974 and a huge pile of Beatles front page Rolling Stone covers etc. from 1964. That's not the kind of stuff that you just toss out like "I need to get rid of some crap" I have glass degeriotypes of my ancestors from Pennsylvania and a really obnoxious amount of B&W pictures of cows. They must have really loved their cows in 1920. I could toss the pictures of cows after I scan them, because that's just funny, lol. But I mean I've already thrown out the majority of crappy stuff. I paired down a 5 bedroom house to the point that we filled 4 industrial-sized trash receptacles (like 20 feet x 8 by 8 feet high) and another two bedroom house on a total of 4 acres to what I could fit in my house and that was already pretty painful. I kept the cool stuff as much as I could fit in my tiny house. What's left is still interesting if not nostaligic and also possibly valuable, but more valuable to me, since I think it's freaking awesome to own a faded yellowing copy of Nixon resigning I will try to start throwing things away but I already feel like I've given up so much awesome poo poo, and even the dregs are filling up me casa even if they are hoarder dregs.  
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Mar 9, 2017 03:45
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The really fun part of reading that entire copy of the SUN, is like, what else was going on in the other sections at that time.. and it makes me laugh every time. The only color ad in the newspaper
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Mar 9, 2017 03:59
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DoggPickle posted:That's not the kind of stuff that you just toss out like "I need to get rid of some crap" Unfortunately if you've accumulated 15 years worth of this kind of thing, even sorting that much stuff into those categories is a nightmarish challenge. Decluttering guides apparently suggest the criterion "does it give me joy", which is also okay for something like pictures that you don't technically use, but I'd file them under a thing I use too, really. It sounds like you have plenty of time if you're waiting on a dog, so I'd suggest dividing your house into manageable-sized zones (to make it not overwhelming) and filtering one zone of stuff per day, through this filter sequence: 1. Do I use this? If so, keep it. 2. Do I plan to use this in future? *Really*? Is that plan really going to happen, too? Be honest with yourself. Set a low cap on items to keep in this category because it's basically bullshit, if you don't use it now you're probably never going to. Note that if you have a lot of books, at least 90% of them will not be in a keep pile so far. The only surviving books should be reference books, technical books and maybe a small number of comfort books that you like to re-read. You may also want to keep a bookshelf of books for decoration, and that's okay, but don't pretend to yourself that that's not what it is. 3. Is it worth an amount of money in excess of the annoyance of selling it? Ask ebay if you're not sure. For large items, sell on craigslist, otherwise probably ebay (though craigslist can work for smaller things too, without the outrageous fee schedule) 4. Will someone else want it? Give it away, yard-sale it for a token amount, goodwill it. 5. Dumpster. If you have three moving trucks of stuff as a single person, either you're hoarding or you have a hobby of playing one of every large musical instrument there is. Edit: for things like yellowing newspapers, consider framing (under glass) whatever you choose to keep. That should help you realize that it's not worth keeping, or, for the few things that are worth keeping, framing it will protect it from the elements! roomforthetuna fucked around with this message at 08:44 on Mar 9, 2017 |
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Mar 9, 2017 08:41
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DoggPickle posted:I have a long low end table from my grandfather that is actually a record player in disguise. It is really nice wood with a fake top and a record player inside that has lovely 1930-s plugs and wiring so I could probably get it fixed. I have piles of news papers with fun headlines like "NIXON RESIGNS" from the Baltimore Sun in 1974 and a huge pile of Beatles front page Rolling Stone covers etc. from 1964. That's not the kind of stuff that you just toss out like "I need to get rid of some crap" See this is where I said you need to get over yourself and sentimentality. Just because something is old doesn't mean it's worth anything. Maybe watch a bunch of episodes of Pawn Stars this weekend ok? Do you have any idea how many newspapers got published with "NIXON RESIGNS"? All of them, literally all of the newspapers. Are yours signed by Nixon? No? Then they're just trash I'm sorry to say. The beatles stuff is the same thing. Everyone loved the beatles and had their poo poo back in the day, it's not rare in any way (unless you have something that is rare or signed; how do I know) so just donate it/ebay it if you can or what to go to the effort, whatever. An end table that weighs 800 pounds because it's an obsolete version of an obsolete several times over technology that doesn't even work is COOL, yeah, but useless and almost certainly worthless. You are going to have a seriously hard time really cleaning that place out without renting a really large storage locker if you don't alter your perspective on what is and isn't worth keeping around. And hey if that's what you would prefer to do, it's your money, your time, and your stuff. The more of the latter you keep, the less of the former you have to get the house in good selling shape. roomforthetuna has excellent advice and I can say from experience that dumping all the junk that you accumulate over time and starting fresh with a no-clutter living space is really freeing and nice. The books are the hardest part, but you have to do it.
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Mar 9, 2017 15:03
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My dad and I set a bunch of books on fire because the library said they didn't want them and we couldn't figure out where else to take them. So we burned it all down. My dad said this felt a little wrong, literally burning books. And then he threw more books onto the fire.
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Mar 9, 2017 19:22
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IRQ posted:
This is all fantastic advice from both of you. I admit that I am sentimental and I made it sound like I'm walking through the little corridors of non-clutter in my house like an episode of hoarders. It's not like that.  It's confined to the closets. I just love the old stuff.. Probably because my parents died when I was pretty young.Putting the most interesting old newspapers and photos into frames is a good idea. It would help me decide what is cool enough to display and what I should chuck out. I don't think that I can give away most of my books. I've paired them down so much that they are either ones that I occasionally read or cool weird stuff like the entire original 20 volume set of The Ocean World of Jacque Cousteau and I just can't POSSIBLY give that away. I think I have some trashy stuff that's more recent and I could bump that off a little. I already lost 6 boxes of books that were temporarily under the pool table when our basement flooded from a broken pipe. And for the first time I have a full house of actual good furniture. I can definitely chuck out my couches. I don't think anyone would even want those for free  They're SO full of DOGGINESS. But my bed is awesome (and gigantic), my end tables in my bedroom were very expensive and they're nice, and I love my dining table and chairs and I have two old wooden chests that I love, (one is cedar and has a beautiful etching of the Crossing of the Potomac on top, and one was my ex-husbands' and he made me promise to take care of it) and that record player table is never leaving my side, because whether it works or not, it looks awesome (and it weighs like 20 pounds lol, not 800). I've really started thinking about each piece of furniture room-by-room.I don't think I can let go of the LP's. Maye some of them, but they're not just playable, but also look really cool and I was attempting to make an entire wall decoration out of them at one point, but ran into some difficulties in execution, trying to make them all visually appealing and still able to be pulled out and used. How do you choose the categories for the Knick-Knack variety? I don't think I can possibly give away or sell anything that was a gift to me from someone. It just feels wrong, even if it's a weird or ugly piece of poo poo. That's a difficult one. I have 3 guitars, and since I had my stroke, I literally can't play anymore, but one of them was a gift and it's really nice and I don't think I can part with it. Sometimes I really poorly jam out on an electric guitar with no amp for my own amusement.  What about really nice TV stands with side cabinets? I should keep at least one for one T.V. no matter where I go? Right? And also keep the best T.V. right? I watch a poo poo-load of TV. I have to keep one, I think. What about sideboards for the dining room that hold all my dishes? I should keep one of those at least. I could probably give away (most) of my pots and pans, and just buy new ones. I have a few really nice ones, though. I have to keep those. I could probably toss my utensils. They're nothing special, but I have nice knives. What about kitchen appliances? I have a sweet professional stand-mixer, and my rice-cooker is the bomb, but I guess the rest is cheaply replaced junk. What about dishes? I have 4 or 5 full sets. One is really nice and one was my parent's best real china set. I have to keep those I think. I have to keep the literal SILVER-ware though. It was a gift from my ex-husband's parents and their initial monogrammed, which is no longer my initials. Maybe I should give them back? What about all my various tools and power tools and garden stuff? What if I need them when I find a new place? Same with paint-brushes and stuff like that. I could throw them away, but then I'll just have to buy them again later. What about all my area rugs, which I really like? And good quality blankets and quilts and bedding? What about random electronics? I have a multi-function printer/scanner, drawing tablet, a couple monitors, like 10 USB or sata hard drives, a 3D printer (this makes me sound like a total rich shithead but working in 3D and really concentrating on the geometry and learning new things and putting it into tactile practice, REALLY helped me after I had a stroke) , and about 40 tons of cables. I have two towers but basically I use my laptop pretty much all the time now, since they finally became desktop replacements for everything except extreme gaming. see, I'm trying to go room by room. It's a lot, even when you start breaking it down. It's overwhelming when you're pretty much alone. I'm not lonely or anything (and no, I don't protest too much haha) - I have lots of friends, but my best friends don't live nearby, and I have no family or someone who's required to help you with this kind of poo poo. I am really serious about getting a storage space and spending a long time on the road, unencumbered, and visiting all my friends and checking out new areas where I might live. I have never lived anywhere other than Northern VA but there's no real reason for me to be stuck here. I want to look around and get the vibe from a whole bunch of towns and find somewhere that's not too expensive, not full of rednecks or hipsters, and still a cheerful place to live, and that's the kind of thing you need to experience for yourself to decide. P.S. it's actually my birthday today, so try not to be too mean 
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Mar 9, 2017 19:46
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N. Senada posted:My dad and I set a bunch of books on fire because the library said they didn't want them and we couldn't figure out where else to take them. So we burned it all down. My dad said this felt a little wrong, literally burning books. And then he threw more books onto the fire. LOL, we ended up chucking a poo poo load of books into the portable industrial trash can because they're just so GODDAMN unexpectedly heavy. I had already taken 4 or 5 car loads for myself and then taken a couple loads to give to the bookstore, and then we just got tired, basically. We didn't burn them though haha!
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Mar 9, 2017 19:48
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DoggPickle posted:P.S. it's actually my birthday today, so try not to be too mean Most of your "what about" items are probably not bad to keep. Tools are certainly one of the annoying things that one typically doesn't actually use all that often, but the space they take up is of less value than the cost of re-buying the tools - provided you can keep them organized enough that you can find the tool you want when you need it. Beyond a certain point it makes sense to just say "gently caress it", sell the rarely-used tools and buy new ones if you need them again. Aside: It's endlessly annoying to me that people are too much jerks for a communal tool shed to be a thing (especially eg. it's loving stupid that a row of 20 houses has 20 lawnmowers, all sitting idle and having their gas grow stale more than 95% of the time, 20+ saws doing nothing but slowly growing rust 99% of the time, etc etc.) Good quality solid wood furniture is probably reasonable to keep as long as you plan on eventually moving to a house that has enough rooms to use all the furniture. If you have literally *any* chipboard furniture (Ikea) just destroy it / craigslist it and get a new one (maybe from craigslist!) at your destination, that poo poo rarely survives a long-distance move and frankly isn't worth it. This can also be a viable strategy for good quality wood furniture actually - it's like teleporting your furniture to your future town. It literally costs nothing but time to sell something on Craigslist and later, at a more convenient location and time, buy a similar thing on Craigslist, assuming you both set and accept a reasonable price. It's a price saving vs. a storage unit, and as a bonus avoids the problem of putting stuff in storage then coming back to it 3 years and thousands of dollars later to realize you don't actually like any of the stuff you stored after all and now you're out storage fees and still have to deal with disposing of it all. Used things pricing is a great data point for decisions about large items especially - if you look at how much it's going to cost in trucks, storage fees, effort, good will of friends, etc. to store your used furniture, and compare that against what it would cost to buy equally used furniture (and if you're being honest you should also subtract from this cost what you can get from selling your used one!) you'll very likely find that most things are not worth keeping. Irreplaceable handcrafted things notwithstanding. (And this doesn't apply if you're moving directly into another home where you will immediately continue to use the furniture that moves with you.)
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Mar 10, 2017 05:13
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roomforthetuna posted:Happy birthday! Tell everyone not to get you trinkets as presents! The community tool shed is SUCH a fantastic idea.. it should really be a THING. Especially in town houses. We're so close together. I mean, I shared my lawn-mower with my neighbors, and it just made life easier for everyone. I let them use my mower and instead of going out my long backyard, and then trucking it around two houses and up a big hill to spend a total of 3 minutes mowing my front lawn, they just did it for me. Haha Maybe not the best example. I did borrow my other neighbor's outdoor power cord a couple times before I had my own. And a hose once or twice, right when I moved in.I've got a full shed of Shovels, snow-shovels, lawnmower, edger, rakes, brooms, string-trimmer, hand-implements like spades and cutters, a huge variety of clay plant pots, stakes, bungee cords (for the decorative trees that won't grow right, duh), tarps, metal trellises, edging bricks, hoses, connectors, outdoor power cords, plant spikes and fertilizer and grass seed etc. I realize that most of that is trash, it's just so MUCH STUFF. And that's just the stuff I can think of without going out there and looking at it. drat I even forgot about my outdoor furniture. The patio table is really large and glass and pretty nice but probably not worth moving or storing. The chairs are just high quality plastic, so I'll chuck those. Oh man, there are like 3 big coolers in the shed too.. And two wooden benches in the yard under the big tree. And my grill which is a genuine POS that shoots flames out of the front lol. Jeez, It's like the more I think of this, the more poo poo I realize that I have. WAMMO. Welcome to being 40!
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Mar 10, 2017 06:14
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DoggPickle posted:
If something sits on a shelf collecting dust and has no function and you never interact with it and maybe it was a gift and maybe you don't even like it - taking a photo of the thing will serve the exact same purpose. In fact a digital image of the item will be BETTER than the useless shelf filling thing because it takes zero space and doesn't collect dust anymore. And you can still see it whenever you want.
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Mar 10, 2017 11:07
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OP your problem is that you're a hoarder. Get psychiatric help.
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Mar 10, 2017 11:23
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Corrode posted:OP your problem is that you're a hoarder. Get psychiatric help. No, the fact that she's easily recognized many many things as useless junk she needs to throw away shows that she's not. This is just someone who has too much stuff after multiple deaths in the family and has become overwhelmed with where to begin. I'm confident OP will do this final ultimate decluttering eventually. She has awareness of it. I grew up in a hoarder house, they are very different.
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Mar 10, 2017 11:40
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Did you make and Ask thread about that? If not, would you?
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Mar 10, 2017 12:53
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N. Senada posted:Did you make and Ask thread about that? No & no. For ultimate hoarder reading I recommend this guy in e/n whose wife story has hijacked a more mundane thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?goto=post&postid=469509101#post469509101
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Mar 10, 2017 19:41
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DoggPickle posted:Humblebrag? I'm consistently terrified of new friends seeing my house and deeming it "not worthy" because I live in a VERY rich area and most of my friends have McMansions that haven't even had the time to accumulate dust. Knowing this, you can start showing your house immediately because there's a 99% chance no one seeing your house cares about buying it for anything except the land. It's going to get knocked down the minute after you sign the contract. This is possibly another advantage for you because depending on how you write your contract, once you go through the valuable things and whatever you want to keep you could probably leave all of your furniture and heavy junk behind for the new owners' contractors to dispose of. As far as the other stuff goes, that's what estate sale companies are for. At the start of the process, take ten boxes or whatever fits into your nearest $29/month basic storage locker. That's your sentimental value allowance. If it doesn't fit into the tenth box, it goes up for sale. If it doesn't get sold within a reasonable amount of time, it goes on Craigslist or gets donated. My wife and I have moved a dozen times in about as many years including one to a different continent. Pretend (or don't pretend) you're backpacking your way across Europe in six months and you'll be amazed how many necessary things turn out to be not really important.
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Mar 10, 2017 21:08
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DoggPickle posted:I don't think I can possibly give away or sell anything that was a gift to me from someone. It just feels wrong, even if it's a weird or ugly piece of poo poo. You NEED to get over this. If it's not small and the only thing you have left from someone who is no longer in your life and you want to have a memento of, you don't love it, and you have had it for more than a year, chuck it. Just because someone gives you something, it does not require that it be with you and take up space for the rest of your life.
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Mar 10, 2017 21:48
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You're just pushing off doing the needful onto either your own heirs or an incredibly unsentimental cleanup contractor hired by the state hth
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Mar 10, 2017 22:50
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You're a hoarder, op. Edit: haha, diagnosed already up the thread.
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Mar 11, 2017 07:42
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Scudworth posted:No, the fact that she's easily recognized many many things as useless junk she needs to throw away shows that she's not. This is just someone who has too much stuff after multiple deaths in the family and has become overwhelmed with where to begin. I'm confident OP will do this final ultimate decluttering eventually. She has awareness of it. Thank you. Jesus, I'm not a hoarder. Are any of you even old enough or stayed in the same place to have owned and lived in your own house for 15 years straight? You just GAIN poo poo over time. (yes I've kept some old stuff because I don't have any living relatives and I deserve it) But I don't have stacks of newspapers in my living room or 800 cat figurines. It looks about as drat nice as a I can make a house built in 1967 look. But you still gain poo poo over the years. You have a weed epidemic so you get an edger and a sprayer and 10 types of weed killer and bunch of other crap Your husband has a "photographic" phase, so you end up with some really nice cameras and equipment. Lenses, bags, stands, lights, actual cameras, etc. Uggh then he has his MUSICIAN phase. :/ ( I was paying for all this, so he left it) You have to go out of town and can't find a great place to leave the dog except with some friends who really didn't want to take the dog at all, so now you have a nicer dog crate and a fancy rear end bag to try to shove her into for traveling, and new toys and blankets You need to plant a tree and now you own two new loving shovels You wanna have a cookout with a bunch of friends, and it ends up at your house and people leave their cooler and then move away and now you have bought a really nice blender to make margaritas and you've used it three times in 5 years You had to repaint the loving ceiling when the toilet leaked and you have cans of primer and ceiling white (times 100 equivalent instances) You gain an egg slicer, a pizza stone, a panini press, an ice-cream scoop, a spoon rest, a set of shrimp forks, wine glasses, martini glasses, shot glasses, a goddamn cake carrier, a plate that literally only fits deviled eggs, a crab-cracker and a hand-held stick blender, a rice cooker, a slow-cooker, and some stupid retro toaster. You just gain stuff without thinking. And ALL of ^That's like a 1 year sample of what happens when you live in the same place for a long time. And I'm pretty sure someone would have a BIG PROBLEM trying to knock down a middle townhouse in an HOA community and rebuild on it just for the land lol. Or basically that's really stupid and illegal. Weirdly, my land is actually worth more than my house according to my tax assessment. But I am trying to detach. I figure that my house will show best in the spring because of the nice garden and very large backyard and skylight that lights up one of the bedrooms (like I don't even need to turn on any lights at all during the day) but it has to be spring/summer for the light to come in the right direction into the house through most of the windows. It really does make a big difference because there are only windows on two opposite sides obviously and all the bulbs come up and it's quite pretty. Also, that's when I bought it...? So no matter when Dig-Dug does die, I figure she's already 17 and she can't possibly make it til next spring, I am starting to make a list of where I should start to get rid of things, and I have a year to do it. I don't have a working car ATM but I am in the process of buying a new one. I already started collecting boxes of all sizes about 6 months ago, so I have a good start for things I want to keep. I am thinking that this month I should do CLOTHES to get rid of. And pack up the really NICE and useful artsy crafty stuff like cameras and good scissors and the sewing machine and stuff like that. And maybe get to throwing out the paint cans that match my house and the tools I don't use or are duplicates. My tool closet is a DISASTER. Clothes are still a little hard for me, because my skinnier clothes tend to be my more expensive Office-wear clothes like suits and slacks and skirts, and my few high-end dresses, but they don't fit me and I am attempting to come to grips with the fact that no matter how nice they are, I'm most likely never going to be skinny again. It still sucks to give away your better clothes and keep the lovely ones that fit now. I don't wanna end up with like all elastic pants and XXXXl t-shirts lol/ I have to keep SOME measure of hope. I do have a lot of crappy clothes that I should get rid of and that seems like a good place to start. Is there a better place to start? I know that the basic answer is like "poo poo or get off the pot" and it probably sounds really annoying to people who are capable of packing up everything they own in like 8 hours and feel nothing about it, but I still live here, and this is my home and I LIKE it, but I need to make a plan where I can get rid of all the poo poo or at least move it to a storage space. (there's one literally across the street. It's about $75 to $200 a month depending on size. The only thing that worries me is my bed. I wasn't home when it was put together, but I imagine that the biggest even most broken down pieces are at least 7-8 feet long)
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Mar 18, 2017 08:09
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Doom Rooster posted:You NEED to get over this. If it's not small and the only thing you have left from someone who is no longer in your life and you want to have a memento of, you don't love it, and you have had it for more than a year, chuck it. Just because someone gives you something, it does not require that it be with you and take up space for the rest of your life. That's hard. How do you chuck out something that someone gave to you? I have this HIDEOUS and terrifying doll that plays the creepiest song ever, but my old roommate brought it for me all the way from Amsterdam. It's technically funny in a creepy way, but it's not exactly small. I don't think that I can just go "well screw that. gently caress you Doug. I have no respect for your effort and your gift"? Like, I don't care if he ever comes over and notices again, because "I" would know. Does that make sense? I also have a few things from another roommate that I don't LOVE, but he died last year at 35 of the world's most random heart-attack. I can't just chuck those things. The gift things. Not his old random poo poo that he left here, but actual presents that were thoughtful, even if they aren't my favorite. It seems disrespectful to me. Is that silly sentiment? Or human nature?
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Mar 18, 2017 08:16
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DoggPickle posted:Is that silly sentiment? Or human nature? My wife, in training my 7 year old to throw things away, has started saying "does it bring you joy?". My little bowl that holds my pocket change has a handprint from my daughter in the bottom. It's just a bowl, but when I use it, it literally brings me joy. The hideous and terrifying doll doesn't bring you joy, but it does somewhat avert your guilt. To me, those are incompatible. When I was younger (early 20s) I didn't have much stuff and so if you gave me something I didn't like/want, I'd keep it for a year or two to see if maybe it'd grow on me, or maybe I'd wear it anyway. Now I have a house full of poo poo and if you gift me something that I can't politely decline, I basically ditch it at the first roadside trashcan on the way home. I just don't have room in my life for more poo poo clogging up my life.
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Mar 18, 2017 08:37
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I'm about to go to bed, but now you've given me this picture in my head of staring at that frickin' terrifying doll that plays this weird song that comes out all slow and hits slightly under all the notes, and asking it out loud if it brings me joy. I'm SO gonna have nightmares tonight.
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Mar 18, 2017 10:35
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DoggPickle posted:I do have a lot of crappy clothes that I should get rid of and that seems like a good place to start. Is there a better place to start? I know that the basic answer is like "poo poo or get off the pot" and it probably sounds really annoying to people who are capable of packing up everything they own in like 8 hours and feel nothing about it, but I still live here, and this is my home and I LIKE it, but I need to make a plan where I can get rid of all the poo poo or at least move it to a storage space. Marie Kondo (who originated that "does it bring joy" method) recommends starting with clothes because they are the least emotional. Then books, then miscellaneous crap then papers (insurance, old tax forms, credit card statements) and finally emotional stuff (photographs, memento's). She also recommends going by category instead of by room. Because if you go by room it is easy to forget how much you have of some stuff. When you pile all your books or clothes together it is much easier to discard half of them when you realize just how much you have in a category. She also recommends a bunch of stuff that is rather nutty so i would take it all with a grain of salt but these tips seem to work for a lot of people.
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Mar 18, 2017 15:10
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I personally do the 1/3 1/3 1/3 thing to get rid of stuff. One box I keep, one trash, one donate. It sometimes means I am getting rid of something I wish I had later.
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Mar 18, 2017 18:30
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DoggPickle posted:That's hard. How do you chuck out something that someone gave to you? I have this HIDEOUS and terrifying doll that plays the creepiest song ever, but my old roommate brought it for me all the way from Amsterdam. It's technically funny in a creepy way, but it's not exactly small. I don't think that I can just go "well screw that. gently caress you Doug. I have no respect for your effort and your gift"? Like, I don't care if he ever comes over and notices again, because "I" would know. Does that make sense? It's not all black and white and throwing it gift out right after after you got it "because the value is in the gesture" would be rude. That is human nature. But years later, having found no use or appreciation for it, at a point where it (and a mountain of similar things) has become a hindrance in your life? You've got to figure what the doll does that a picture of the doll couldn't do for you. Another reason other people might still hang on to a gift years later is if it's related to a particularly important event in their life. Like a wedding day or the birth of a child. Somehow "my roommate thought of me while he was in Amsterdam" doesn't seem like it should be of the same calibre. It's not "gently caress you Doug". It's "wow, Doug, I appreciated and respected your effort so much I hung on to this ugly thing for 10+ years and even now I have trouble getting rid of it, even when hanging on to it would be to my own detriment". And Doug could well be within reason to be a bit creeped out that such a minor event apparently still had that weight in your life. So what I see is a lack of faith that you can keep important memories alive without a physical manifestation of them. A lack of faith that you can separate the important memories from the other automatically and a worry that you might let the wrong memory die. And sort of a lack of faith in the future that similar and equivalent events will keep coming, maybe. Anyway, my practical advice is this: do photograph stuff that is purely sentimental before throwing it out. It will take up a lot less space in the move while still serving as the crutch for your memory if you can't deal with all that before the move.
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Mar 19, 2017 13:39
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Flipperwaldt posted:Another reason other people might still hang on to a gift years later is if it's related to a particularly important event in their life. Like a wedding day or the birth of a child. Somehow "my roommate thought of me while he was in Amsterdam" doesn't seem like it should be of the same calibre. What is up with SA and all the armchair psychologists? What you're doing here is being very slightly demeaning while giving no practical advice that wasn't already given in a much nicer way. I have a lot of stuff and I wasn't sure about the "standard view" of tossing out gifts, because it seems rude to me, but you've implied that I'm worried a lot, that old objects are a crutch for my memory and I'm possibly scared that I will never make new friend memories again? Christ. Can't a girl just have a lot of stuff without being mentally damaged in some way? So I actually filled a whole black outdoor trash bag with donatable clothes yesterday. That sounds like a ton, but I put two big coats in there and a quilt that's going raggedy. So I made a dent at least. Then I ordered 3 new T-shirts. OOOPS. (I actually don't have that many T-shirts that are "big" on me, and I need them for jogging now that it's warming up.) I'm still having a little trouble letting go of the really nice clothes that I can't fit into anymore. But I actually did put in a few pairs of dress pants because 1) they were SUPER small, like size 6 and that is NEVER gonna happen again and 2) I kind of pray that I will never have to work in an office with that kind of dress code ever again.
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Mar 19, 2017 17:42
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For stuff like instruments, you should consider donating anything that you don't use to an after school program. Since you're keeping them because you remember the joy they gave you, think of the joy that they could bring to others. An instrument sitting around gathering dust is sad, without regular use they will end up unrepairable eventually. Call up or email an after school program in a poorer area, if you're in DC it shouldn't be hard to find. Another thing to consider is since you know that you no longer want the maintenance responsibilities of a house, what is your ideal living situation for the future. If that doesn't include a yard, then sell off all your yard maintenance stuff. If that doesn't include a formal dining room, get rid of that furniture. You can donate housewares like your extra 4 sets of china to refugee resettlement programs. No one needs 4 sets of dishes. You are only keeping the others because thinking about getting rid of them causes you anxiety and doing nothing relieves that anxiety. Keep the ones that you use everyday and the nice one from your parents.
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Mar 19, 2017 18:16
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DoggPickle posted:What you're doing here is being very slightly demeaning while giving no practical advice that wasn't already given in a much nicer way. I have a lot of stuff and I wasn't sure about the "standard view" of tossing out gifts, because it seems rude to me, but you've implied that I'm worried a lot, that old objects are a crutch for my memory and I'm possibly scared that I will never make new friend memories again? Christ. Apologies for implying you might be worried or scared. That's clearly something no one should ever be accused of.
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Mar 19, 2017 18:20
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Hutla posted:For stuff like instruments, you should consider donating anything that you don't use to an after school program. Since you're keeping them because you remember the joy they gave you, think of the joy that they could bring to others. An instrument sitting around gathering dust is sad, without regular use they will end up unrepairable eventually. Call up or email an after school program in a poorer area, if you're in DC it shouldn't be hard to find. You're right about the yard stuff. I have been killing myself trying to keep my yard nice and I don't want to do it anymore. I'm not sure where I want to live yet. That's why I'm going to take my little dog and go on a roadtrip and visit all my friends around the country and see what other places are like. I think that I WILL want a place with at least a small yard so I can grow some vegetables and flowers though, so I think I should keep the small stuff. I can't see myself ever in an upstairs apartment or condo or something like that. That's NOT for me. But a little yard or courtyard would be great. I'm obviously going to sell/donate my indoor grow station that I built. It's pretty big with lights and timers and heat mats etc. I was planning to keep the dining table, because it's small and nice with a really cool extension system. You can't tell to look at it that it extends. It's a pretty neat little thing, Plus when you take the legs off, it gets pretty small. But it's also counter-height and I have 4 counter-height hardwood and rattan chairs (they're nice) and they do not come apart in any way. They'll take up a ton of room to store, and buying new counter-height stools or chairs is gonna be expensive. So the dining set is a little confusing. It's a great size table for even a loft or one bedroom/studio type space, because it's compact, but the height is weird. I wouldn't know where to find a refugee resettlement program? I definitely need to pare down all the dishes. 5 sets isn't exactly right as it's more like 2 full sets, and 3 sets worth of random other stuff like Appetizer plates and square dishes instead of round etc. I don't have any emotional attachment to that poo poo. I just know that once I give it all away, I'm going to want a sandwich on a side plate and I'll have to use a big one and get all mad. JK sort of. I can give away at least 2 or 3 "sets" immediately with no regret. I only have so many because I bought a set that was irritatingly heavy and got weirdly hot in the microwave so I put it away and got a new one. poo poo like that. I also have the general girly stuff like all the family sized decorative presentation plates and bowls and Carafes. It still gets me how much random stuff you just accumulate over time, like I have one huge cutting board with a moat around the edge that I use once a year for turkey. And one roasting pan with slots and an under-pan that I use like twice a year for turkey and ham and an occasional roast. It's not like you couldn't live without it, but dammit will it be annoying next time I want to cook a turkey and I can't. It's not quite as dumb as those people that have a banana hanger, but it's still taking up space and being useless 360+ days of the year. *edit* I can spel godd DoggPickle fucked around with this message at 19:00 on Mar 19, 2017 |
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Mar 19, 2017 18:53
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Flipperwaldt posted:It's only demeaning if you have a dim view of people with issues. I don't have a dim view of people with issues. I just feel like a ton of SA likes to project their own issues onto other people for some reason and it's weird. I would say that I am definitely tentative about selling my house and going on a big trip. I think that would be a little "scary" for anyone, but there's no reason I can't do it, and I don't want to take care of this big (small townhouse) all by myself anymore and I have no particular reason to live in this exact spot forever. I have some reservations about selling my house because then I won't be a home-owner for tax and discount purposes, and I won't have any fixed address, and I don't have any family to set as my address. So I am wavering between selling it or just renting it out. I will have to do the kitchen renovation and have two bathrooms redone either way. If I keep it, I will be able to enjoy those renovations down the road when I'm older, and the house will be paid off when I'm 53. I've looked up the rental prices in my neighborhood, and I could make a good $500-$600 a month renting it out. Other people paying your mortgage is cool. But that's an entirely different question and there are tax implications and all sorts of other things that cumulatively stress me out a little bit. So if you wanna say that I'm a little worried or scared, it's actually true in that particular area. But what to give away, throw away, keep, and how to get off your rear end and start doing it while still living in the house, is what I was mainly asking about. And just the general idea that when you start assessing everything you own, holy poo poo there is a lot of stuff.
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Mar 19, 2017 19:12
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DoggPickle posted:So I am wavering between selling it or just renting it out. I've kept properties and rented them out, and it's a frustrating pain in the rear end. You can either do it all yourself, which means chasing people for the rent and hiring people to do repairs that are only necessary because the tenant is a clumsy idiot, or you can hire a management company, which means they take a ridiculous portion of the rent and you still have to chase people for the rent and hire people to do repairs yourself because the management company is loving useless for anything but getting a shittily vetted person in there, and acting as an incompetent middleman so the tenant hates you because they ask to get something fixed and you don't even hear about it for two months (and not because the management company is dealing with it, obviously.) Not that I'm bitter.
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Mar 20, 2017 14:09
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OP, my advice: Go room by room and toss what meets the following criteria: -You do not want to keep. -Does not bring 'happiness' to you. For sure it will be a lot of stuff. If there's a lot of antiques maybe you can do half or 3/4 of one room, then to the next room. Books? Unless they are rare or famous first editions or signed by the original author. You can probably give away most of them to the local library. School library won't take it? Try a prison library. My mom died in our house. My Dad is still living here and I'm in the process of trying to get it fixed up and have him moved out. My siblings still have 'crap' stored here. Anyway I really feel tackling clutter problems room by room is the way to go. Depending on how much stuff there is, maybe it is possible to do it by category if you have access to all the areas in the house. (Clothes, furniture, etc...)
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Mar 21, 2017 04:11
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