Drowning, with options - Let's Play HITMAN 2016

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Drowning, with options - Let's Play HITMAN 2016

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Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Awww yeah thats the good stuff

# ¿ May 7, 2018 20:55

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# ¿ May 13, 2024 19:31

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

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Hitman: Absolution 14 - Due Process (Commentary)
Hitman: Absolution 14 - Due Process (Cut Commentary)

# ¿ May 11, 2018 01:32

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Hitman: Absolution 15 - Cease and Desist (Commentary)
Hitman: Absolution 15 - Cease and Desist (Cut Commentary)

# ¿ May 26, 2018 01:11

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

White Coke posted:

If Absolution wasn't available as a comprehensive lesson in what not to do, would 2016 have been as good?

It would have been much better, duh!

# ¿ May 27, 2018 18:29

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Discendo Vox posted:

Episode 14: Due Process

under construction, sorry

You dirty tease!!!

# ¿ May 31, 2018 04:31

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Discendo Vox posted:

I'm sorry, I too am feeling the burnout, plus I've had houseguests this week that are taking up most of my time. I should be able to knock out both this and the next videos' notes.

No biggie! I just like your writeups so much

# ¿ Jun 5, 2018 02:11

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Hitman: Absolution 16 - Change of Pace (Commentary)
Hitman: Absolution 16 - Change of Pace (Cut Commentary)

# ¿ Jun 7, 2018 17:07

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

ChaosArgate posted:

Brief interlude to go back way uphill, folks.

https://twitter.com/RobotBrush/status/1004770089323978752

Edit: Not episodic, so if I LP it, expect a new thread a few ~~months~~ days after its out.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2018 18:33

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Hitman: Absolution 17 - Man Eater (Commentary)
Hitman: Absolution 17 - Man Eater (Cut Commentary)

# ¿ Jun 12, 2018 22:39

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Hitman: Absolution 18 - Foggy Memories (Commentary)
Hitman: Absolution 18 - Foggy Memories (Cut Commentary)

# ¿ Jun 13, 2018 04:39

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

David D. Davidson posted:

Wow did not expect you to upload the other video so soon but I can't blame you being this close to the end of the game.

I want this to end so I can work on my other LPs and I figured "What better way then to just dump whatever I had as quickly as possible since Hitman 2 is releasing in the near future!"

# ¿ Jun 13, 2018 16:09

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Discendo Vox posted:

Thank christ, that long-rear end level's over, I just have to do a writeup of one of a kind and I'll be all caught u-

dammit

Well, I'm sorry about what will transpire tonight/tomorrow.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2018 17:41

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

White Coke posted:

So is ten million dollars that much money to Stuckey? Is it worth pissing off an organization of super assassins?

Considering he apparently owns an arms manufacturing company, I cant imagine 10 million being anything too special.

Then again its 10 million dollars and his payroll keeps getting smaller and smaller...

# ¿ Jun 14, 2018 05:47

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Night10194 posted:

I kind of doubt 10 million even comes close to covering the cost of blowing up his own goddamn building.

The key is that this is lovely 'grindhouse' stuff so an impressive sounding number and a suitcase full of money as a macguffin are all that matter.

1. It's a tax write-off

2. Insurance

:smuggo:

Checkmate, goon.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2018 13:38

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Hitman: Absolution 19 - Angel of Death (Commentary)
Hitman: Absolution 19 - Angel of Death (Cut Commentary)

# ¿ Jun 14, 2018 21:28

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Look I want to pretend Hitman Absolution isn't that deep so while you are probably right I will still report you to the mods to get you banned.

Please report me for this terrible page snipe

# ¿ Jun 15, 2018 00:31

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Quicksilver6 posted:

JOBBO FETT ELIMINATED

Score: -4204901249 points.

Danced with the angels, I did.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2018 00:55

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Atomikus posted:

They're the praetorians, probably named after the praetorian guard, and all have the names of shields; it's as deep as a kiddy pool and about as full of human waste.

Even thats too deep

# ¿ Jun 15, 2018 01:51

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

White Coke posted:

Looping credits?

Disappointment

# ¿ Jun 15, 2018 17:16

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR NEEEEEECK?! :stonk:

# ¿ Jun 21, 2018 17:01

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

I didn't miss any costumes, I wanted to do suit-only! :c00lbert:

# ¿ Jun 27, 2018 12:45

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Discendo Vox posted:

I'm sorry, I need to correct my earlier statement. The judge didn't find out that his ancestor was a British judge, then decide to dress as a british judge, adopt british mannerisms and collect british legal paraphernalia.

He found out his ancestor was British, then decided to dress as a british judge, adopt british mannerisms and collect british legal paraphernalia.

Oh then that's not so bad.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2018 18:38

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Apparently, I missed a cutscene at the end. I think it was locked behind a higher difficulty. No I don't know why.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9kPUvfWD78

# ¿ Jul 6, 2018 23:52

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Gaz-L posted:

You should still do the bonus eps and Patient Zero. The bonus episodes are fairly short but have some goofy Opportunities, and Patient Zero tries to add a twist to the formula on each mission. No tagged opportunities and killing one target actively changes the other's routine in the first, time limit in the second, sniper-only in the third and the virus in the fourth

Yeah, the plan is to do them once Chaos stops being lazy. I really liked some of the bonus eps.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2018 00:12

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Great now I wont be able to sleep this week. :sigh:

# ¿ Jul 9, 2018 05:07

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

M6-C5 --- City Blue Apparel & Denim / Benchmark (Sports Bar) / Zanies Comedy Club (Comedy/Improv) / Compagnia della Belleza / Up Down Cigar / Old Town Oil / Dinotto (Italian) / Fireplace Inn, The (American) / Fudge Pot, The (Desserts) / O'Brien's (Pub Fare) / Pasticceria & Gelateria Palermo (Desserts) / Trattoria Roma (Italian) / Red Orchid Theatre, A

M2-H1 --- Untouchable Tours

M6-C5 --- City Blue Apparel & Denim / Benchmark (Sports Bar) / Zanies Comedy Club (Comedy/Improv) / Compagnia della Belleza / Up Down Cigar / Old Town Oil / Dinotto (Italian) / Fireplace Inn, The (American) / Fudge Pot, The (Desserts) / O'Brien's (Pub Fare) / Pasticceria & Gelateria Palermo (Desserts) / Trattoria Roma (Italian) / Red Orchid Theatre, A

M7-D3 --- Alley, The / Jive Monkey / Sidetrack (Gay/Lesbian) / Blue Havana / Architectural Revolution / Taboo Tabou (Adult Gifts) [-A]

M3-G1 --- Pink Monkey (Adult Entertainment) [-P]

M6-D5 --- Orso's (Italian)

M2-I6 --- IMAX Movie Theatre / Navy Pier / Harry Caray's Tavern-Navy Pier (Sports Bar) / Accent Chicago (Navy Pier) / Shoreline Sightseeing [-P]

M2-H3 --- Allen Edmonds (Michigan) [-A]

M2-E2 --- Fabbri Furs / BackRoom, The (Jazz)

# ¿ Jul 13, 2018 16:40

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Discendo Vox posted:

Maybe it's the page numbers? Maybe the follow-up post about meeting locations is important.

Maybe it's all bullshit.

I was gonna collate the page numbers later, but I doubt it would lead to anything.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2018 18:50

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Discendo Vox posted:

What do folks think of this? The radio silence is making me suspect this much means I've basically wasted my time.

I always appreciate your posts.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2018 15:34

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Could you edit that please?

# ¿ Nov 13, 2018 03:46

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Cythereal posted:

Edit what? I don't think it's a spoiler that there's a mission in Miami that

I did not know there was that, and Chaos has put in like... 5 minutes into the game. It would simply be appreciated, thanks.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2018 04:11

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Discendo Vox posted:

Sorry to resurrect the thread, Jobbo, but I've been going through and fixing typos in my posts. Since it hasn't been archived yet, could I ask if you could also put the images from the Cosmo Faulkner Google Plus post on lpix? as far as I know they're not the single remaining source for this horrible piece of game promotion on earth.

Edit: Saved the images will reup tomorrow

Also i'll punch chaosargate in the discord to get his butt koving on archiving this beautiful thread.

Jobbo_Fett fucked around with this message at 05:30 on Jan 15, 2020

# ¿ Jan 15, 2020 05:27

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# ¿ May 13, 2024 19:31

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Discendo Vox posted:

Bonus Infopost: Cosmo Faulkner's Google Plus Account

Between November 15 and December 9, 2011, IOI ran a very special social media promotion for Hitman: Absolution: "Cosmo Faulkner," presumably one of IOI's writers, posted updates to a Google Plus account. The account was seen by literal ones of people prior to the game's launch. This might be the single most pointless and effort-wasting attempt at hype I've ever seen in a game, but it provides Deep Lore Insights (as well as a surprising amount of info about IOI's writing process), so I am replicating his posts here, as there's no way Google Plus is surviving all that long. Enjoy some noir blogposting and bad attempts at teasing content that doesn't make it into the game! Some posts from the same day may be out of order thanks to the wonders of Google Plus formatting.

Nov 15, 2011
I am Cosmo Faulkner. This is me signing up for some online service I will soon enough forget the name of - all in the name of 'progress'. The only difference between speaking into the void of the internet and speaking to the bartender down at Marcello's is the whisky.

Nov 15, 2011
I had planned a nice evening with Alice tonight. Didn�t happen, of course. Now I�m back in this place. This place... It�s a new hotel so I can�t say I�ve been in this exact place before but it�s the same as the last ten places. The art on the wall is a little different from the last place but that�s about it.

I don�t know why they keep putting up these drat pictures. Nobody looks at them. So why am I able to figure out they aren�t the same as in the last place? Eye for detail, son. Same way I know the last guy in here was cheating on his wife with that coworker of his and that the maid who was supposed to clean the room had to leave early because her son was sick.

Evidence is everywhere if you know how to look for it.
[vox sez: the below are the only comments or signs that anyone read any part of this material at any point...and they're from after launch.]
Jan 6, 2013
Mariano Carp
Hi
Jan 6, 2013
Mariano Carp
Don�t kill 47 or i kill you

Nov 21, 2011
It's late. Why the hell am I writing this? To be honest, I don�t know. At times, I feel like my mind is going to wash down the city drains with the constant rain that plagues this place. An hour ago I found myself talking to Phil, picking up a few issues of the latest rags he�d put aside for me. Good guy, Phil.

I had hoped to get a room at the Terminus but after fire last week, it seems the owner decided to cash in on the insurance and sell the place to some bigger chain of hotels. I don�t know why but it made me feel old to hear that. I�ve been going there for the last twenty years and now it�s gone. Never did find a hotel better than that one. Despite the fact that the place had more roaches than actual paying customers, I guess the quiet was something I could relate to.

Nov 21, 2011
Speaking of roaches, I've been trying to catch Birdy all day. That flying rat is never around when you need him.

Nov 28, 2011
Still can't sleep. Driving does that to me. Looked after mother all day and I'm exhausted now and I know it's close to getting up again. I'm hitting the road again tomorrow so I really need some rest.

This trip reminded me of something Phil said the other day. He said, �Cosmo, you�re not getting any younger to look at � but the good thing is, you�re not looking older, either.� I didn�t know whether to kiss him or punch his Irish face in, so I paid him ten bucks and left without saying anything. The thing is he�s right. I�m not getting younger or older. I feel stuck, caught in some weird eternal chase after a killer I am likely never going to catch. People around me tell me he doesn�t even exist. Bullshit. I know. How do I know? Evidence.

This is my journal. These are my thoughts put down on digital paper. The department forced me on that IT course, claiming that I needed to get with the times, learn how to use computers and share information across departments. �It�s a brave new world out there,� they said. I�m not so sure it�s neither new nor brave. Just looks all kinds of ugly to me.
Anyway, I've sent out the flyers. Hopefully that will bring something. I know it's going to bring all the weirdos out as well but I guess I'll have to sift through them to get the gold.

Nov 30, 2011
Just wrote Alice an email letter. She wasn�t too upset with me when I left her a few days ago but I know these letters keep us alive together. I guess the Internet is good for something. I missed a lot of letters through the years, moving from hotel to hotel, chasing clues and killers all day. How she keeps up with that, I�ll never understand.

There�s no word on the street. My sources have dried up quicker than that bottle of Jack in the captain�s lower drawer. My feet hurt from all the walking around so I�ve decided to embrace the future. It may not work but I was told by the boys in the IT crime unit that there are loads of virtual informants out there. I need help cracking this case and I don�t care whose lips I have to kiss to make it happen. Birdy�s not come back to me on anything yet so I�m going to have to activate the entire snitch network of Chicago. Someone MUST have seen this guy leaving the Terminus.

I will be back in Chicago in a few hours. Tired. Very, very tired.

Nov 30, 2011
Sleeping in the car is not fun. Road trips are about as romantic as going on a family picnic in one of the city�s alleys, eating from garbage bins and dodging muggers every ten minutes.

I just plugged my laptop in at some hole-in-the-ground diner on the 66 just outside town to check in before heading home. The guy serving me looked at me like he couldn�t figure out whether to hit me with a second round of breakfast or drag me out back for a good beating because I disturbed him while reading. Turns out, he was in the corps at the same time as I was. Can�t say I remember him, though. Clive. He looked terrible, a wart-infested prize pig with a maw full of bad teeth, though he was pleasant enough to talk to. Cooked up a mean bowl of chili, too.

Anyway, looks like the poster paid off. Lots of kooks writing me with all kinds of information but also some interesting leads tying the knot between the fire at Terminus and the incident in the library. Found a newspaper clipping from the incident, which I�ve posted in the photo section of this account and I'll dig out one or two reports from internal. Details in the article are massively exaggerated, of course. Journalists in this city never did bother too much with the truth. Only guy I�ve ever really trusted to try to reflect the real events no longer works for any of the big papers.

I'm back in the office soon. May sleep on the couch for a while.

Nov 30, 2011

Dec 1, 2011
I returned to Chicago last night. The week took a turn for the worse when the captain called me into his office earlier today. There had been some discussions among the powers that be that my budgets needed �refinement�, as he put it. No more spending money on informants. The Mayor had a �hard time justifying all those unaccounted for expenses� and we �really shouldn�t encourage criminals by paying them off�. We had a bit of back and forth about that. Eventually he saw it my way. A quick trip down five sets of stairs to pick up his chair and files from the sidewalk gave him some time to reflect on my arguments. He said there placement of the window would come out of my salary check. I told him to keep the change, buy something nice for himself. I am now working from the basement.

I have also now given up sleep altogether.

Dec 1, 2011

Dec 1, 2011
I�m still sifting through all the new information coming in from the various informants. It seems there are four options here.

Aliens. Pretty sure this isn�t going to lead anywhere.

Genetically engineered killer. I�m not sure how different this is from option 1.

New world order conspiracy � in particular the UN. One guy wrote me a very long email detailing every injustice performed by the UN since its inception. While I�m in no position to disagree, I doubt the impact of this on this particular case.

Some sort of ultra-trained contract killer. This makes the most sense, though it doesn�t provide me with any comfort. If I�m looking for some Jackal-type character, I need more information on him. Suspected previous targets, known hits, former whereabouts. Proving that such a character exists is difficult in the extreme. One informant told me there was a connection with Fernando Delgado, the Chilean wine-maker and suspected drug lord. I have no time to research this so may need to enlist some help. Another source mentioned Richard Delahunt, the former Massachusetts Governor and Vatican Ambassador who was killed at the Paris Opera.

I don�t like this. I think I may be in over my head.If we can map out the killer�s movements and targets, maybe I can get more support from higher up. Hell, looks like the boys from Interpol might need to get in on this.

Dec 2, 2011
�There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others.�

Dec 2, 2011

Dec 2, 2011
Busy day. The captain pulled me upstairs today. I remarked to him how delightful it was to see the redecoration of his office had come to an end and that the new window looked very good. He retorted by slamming the door shut and proceeded to yell at me for a good ten minutes. Somewhere, deep down, I have a great love for that man and his whisky-slurred speech, though his presence anywhere within 200 feet of me is about as wanted as a wet poo poo on a birthday cake.

It turns out the Terminus case isn�t going away, despite the efforts of most of the department�s PR employees. What this practically means is that they are adding detectives to the case in some effort to try to crack it. The assumption that this is somehow narcotics related still holds and the mentioning of the elusive Hitman character is to be stricken from the files. This, it seems, is no longer the viable route, despite multiple reports coming in from my new network of snitches. I need to prove the existence of this man.

Off therecord, and I�m sure this has to do with the fact that they can�t pair me with anyone else, I�m still on the case, though it will likely be a case of whisky if this crap keeps up. Anyway, what this means is that I need to step up. Nobody believes that the shadowy Hitman is behind all this so I�m going to need to prove it. I�m going to map out every known or potential place and killing the guy is connected with. I�m going to need help but it�s the only way I ca do it. Evidence.

I also went to investigate Birdy�s bus today. Need to find something that can tell me where the hell that man has gone to. I�m worried this will be connected to this case but hopefully I�m just being paranoid. I took a picture of his place, a real dump, and grabbed a few tickets and other items from a desk-type piece of furniture. Maybe I can track his whereabouts through some of this.

I will upload it here for my informants soon.

Dec 2, 2011
Found some tickets and a torn out page from some city guide at Birdy's place. Significant? [vox sez: I'm merging another post that's just another copy of the first image, captioned "from Birdie's bus".]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

[vox sez: yep, it's a GODDAMN ARG. An entire social media campaign that no one ever touched! I...guess I'll let y'all give decoding these a try. This game is going to kill me.]

Dec 2, 2011
Ma's sick again. Doc called. It's bad. I need to head back to visit her tonight.

Dec 5, 2011
Back from Ma�s place. She�s not going to make it another year. I should be sad but all I feel is anger and desperation. I�m chasing shadows here � an international hitman, a disappeared informant, a cure for cancer. It�s ridiculous and yet I slave on through the darkness, the rain, the disposable bodies in the wake of all the destruction talking to me every night in my few precious hours of sleep.

While I was away, the network has done some work on the items I found in Birdy�s bus. As I drove into town, I went to a bunch of the hangouts I knew Birdy could have been to. The girls at Pink Monkey haven�t seen him for weeks, which I find unbelievable. I know he had a regular there. Orso�s � nothing. BackRoom � nothing. Apparently, he�s been by Dinotti a few times last month � once with some girl but the waiter didn�t know her. Hell, I even drove by Navy Pier, the Fireplace Inn and Architectural Revolution where I first met him a few years ago � nothing.

I�ve got to crack this! I know there�s something here. Just have to look hard enough.

Dec 6, 2011
Progress! I think we're close to locating Birdy. I'm going to have a serious talk with that little rat once we find him.

Had a small chat with a potential witness today. I have seriously lost count of how many dope heads walk through my door every week but I�m expecting a call from Guinness� any day now. I am beginning to think the desk sergeant just sends them down here on a laugh.

This sushi delivery guy comes in, doesn�t want to sit down or anything. Starts mouthing off the minute he more or less kicks down the door, flapping his cheese-encrusted gums about an elevator ride, going to the wrong floor, man in a suit, lots of shooting, making GBS threads his pants. I don�t know. I had central send over a patrol car but nothing came of it � either the sushi guy is a maki roll short of a full menu or the ghost is very good at cleaning up after himself. Not sure what to believe anymore. It�s extremely frustrating to know that most of my leads come in this way.

Dec 7, 2011
It appears my network of informants located Birdy. Send a thief to catch a thief and all that. Good. I hope to get some answers from him soon. Why is he hiding?

Dec 8, 2011
Rosewood. drat. [vox sez: merging three separate posts here, one with the text and one with each of the images below]

Dec 9, 2011
They're shutting me down. I went to talk to the captain about my findings today. He used a lot of big words and I took to using my fists. Suspension be damned! That incident at the Rosewood Orphanage cannot go down unavenged. Heading out the door, I grabbed all my files on this case. I'm doing this totally off the grid now.

Birdy finally got in touch. Says he got his buddy 'Lenny' to cover some money for him to get out of town. I know this doesn't make a lot of sense to you all and I need to take a break from this online thing to ensure my own safety - rely on my basic training for a while. I'll leave you with a still from one of the surveillance cameras at the Rosewood Orphanage. You've been a big help so far. Your work on helping me with this case will not be forgotten.

I'll get in touch when I can.

CF

[Vox's commentary]
To be updated after I finish slogging through all the whiskey references and disjointed, rushed "teaser" material. God, I thought I was done with this.