JonathonSpectre posted:

So I saw this yesterday.

You know how when you watched the Lord of the Rings movies you could just tell that everyone who worked on the project cared deeply about making it good?

This is a movie that NO ONE involved in cared about at all. It wasn't "bad," in that yes, there is a plot, and yes, there are actors, and yes, this is a film that tells a coherent (if very stupid) story. It's worse than bad. It's lifeless. The only reason it exists is, "We need a King Kong movie to set up some other movies." Outside of J.Reilly it seemed like everyone else in the movie spent every scene mainly thinking about how quickly they were going to get off set and spend their check.

To roughly paraphrase the greatest, I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated hated hated it. It should have been called KONG: SKULL ISLAND CONSUMER PRODUCT AND TOY VEHICLE. Its body should have been burned in a trash bin. I'd rather watch two hours of a movie that was straight-up bad due to poor filmmaking, acting, etc. than thirty seconds of this unloved paint-by-numbers slog. I was checking my watch 20 minutes in.

If you haven't seen it yet and are browsing the thread deciding whether or not to see it, don't! Do anything else with your $10. Go buy $10 worth of birdseed and go dump it in a field and watch the birds eat. Donate it to an animal shelter. Have a nice lunch at that new Cuban place. Go buy $10 worth of eggs and just throw them away. Do anything at all with your money besides seeing this.

My only hope for this, uh, film, is that its incredibly egregious, endlessly-repeating use of "iconic" '70s songs over images of Hueys and dudes in olive drab looking bored in those Hueys causes massive public outrage and we can stop seeing this exact same montage in every movie even tangentially related to Vietnam. It happens literally like 4-5 times in this Kong product, to the point that even my 12 year-old nephew was like, "Do you think that they'll play Bohemian Rhapsody later while they are flying away?"