- cda
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by Hand Knit
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So my son's birthday party is in June, but I've been looking for venues already because places around here book up crazy fast. I asked my son what he wanted to do for his 7th birthday party: trampoline park? Water park? That candy store downtown that does a candy-making birthday party where the kids get to take home the candy they make (very expensive but we didn't take out a second mortgage to live like we're poor). He just rolled his eyes: "everybody does those, dad. I want to have my birthday party in Hell."
At first I was shocked, but then I discovered that a Hell birthday party is very affordable. They'll provide all of the food and there's lots of great activities your lil devils can get up to. The Birthday Boy even gets a piniata full of pure, clean, drinking water that he can jerk over the heads of the damned, always keeping it just out of reach. It's educational too. None of them will ever forget who Sisyphus is (he's the cool guy who rolls the boulder you can ride on top of. Super fun!).
I was worried it wouldn't be easy for people to get there, but it turns out there's Hell just about everywhere you look. You can get there from inside any Chuck E Cheese. Parking is a breeze, too (although getting in is way easier than getting out. Don't forget your lot number).
Overall, I'm highly satisfied with my purchase. I am sure my son and his friends will enjoy their birthday party in Hell.
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Mar 12, 2017 21:05
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 24, 2024 02:52
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- Sing Along
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by Athanatos
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So my son's birthday party is in June, but I've been looking for venues already because places around here book up crazy fast. I asked my son what he wanted to do for his 7th birthday party: trampoline park? Water park? That candy store downtown that does a candy-making birthday party where the kids get to take home the candy they make (very expensive but we didn't take out a second mortgage to live like we're poor). He just rolled his eyes: "everybody does those, dad. I want to have my birthday party in Hell."
At first I was shocked, but then I discovered that a Hell birthday party is very affordable. They'll provide all of the food and there's lots of great activities your lil devils can get up to. The Birthday Boy even gets a piniata full of pure, clean, drinking water that he can jerk over the heads of the damned, always keeping it just out of reach. It's educational too. None of them will ever forget who Sisyphus is (he's the cool guy who rolls the boulder you can ride on top of. Super fun!).
I was worried it wouldn't be easy for people to get there, but it turns out there's Hell just about everywhere you look. You can get there from inside any Chuck E Cheese. Parking is a breeze, too (although getting in is way easier than getting out. Don't forget your lot number).
Overall, I'm highly satisfied with my purchase. I am sure my son and his friends will enjoy their birthday party in Hell.
Please provide a followup review post-party, if you are able. I've heard the devil's in the details!
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Mar 13, 2017 00:03
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- Schrecken
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Child of Woe
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I've heard hiring a clown for the entertainment is very cheap there, especially for parties with young boys.
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Mar 13, 2017 01:50
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- Bacon Taco
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Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN
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Still sounds better than Chuck E. Cheese.
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Mar 13, 2017 04:44
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- Ultra Spoot
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It's a solid choice, op. Make sure you hit the endless fire lake, the souls of the damned will fly by and give you high fives in between their torture sessions
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Mar 13, 2017 08:45
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- Ultra Spoot
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Son: look at all the souls, they're so shiny! This is the best birthday ever dad
Soul: Every day I am torn apart, but I never die.
Son: Haha
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Mar 13, 2017 08:49
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- yeah actually they will
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They serve beer there
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Mar 14, 2017 01:59
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- General Dog
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Everybody's working for the weekend
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Definitely safer than a skate party! Please let us know how it works out.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Mar 14, 2017 04:49
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- Space Taxi
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I organised a party in hell for my son, Jesus.
He loved it there! He partied for three days straight before he ran out of game tokens and came back.
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Mar 15, 2017 09:42
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- deep dish peat moss
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I waited in line for the Sloth ride for the whole day but it never even moved
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Mar 18, 2017 03:27
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- Ultra Spoot
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In Hell noone can hear you scream... with joy from all the fun you're having!
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Mar 18, 2017 09:05
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- Splicer
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from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
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The envy ride wasn't as good as it looked.
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Mar 18, 2017 12:24
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- alnilam
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I want to get off mr bones wild ride
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Mar 18, 2017 19:05
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- Space Taxi
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The original draft of Kindergarten Cop was much darker.
Kid: Mr Kimble, do you want to come to my birthday party?
*Kimble draws his gun*
Kimble: Have your party in HELL!
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Mar 18, 2017 23:25
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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"do you know why your birthday party is being held in hell billy? no? its because you touch yourself at night billy, this is all your own fault, this could have been easily avoided."
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Mar 18, 2017 23:48
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- FluffieDuckie
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The envy ride wasn't as good as it looked.
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Mar 19, 2017 00:31
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- FactsAreUseless
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Ride the river Breadstyx, unlimited refills $8.99.
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Mar 19, 2017 01:38
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- Baller Ina
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:whattheeucharist:
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Spring for the hitler dunk tank op it's really fun
Dude just hates getting wet, ha
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Mar 19, 2017 02:31
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- Space Taxi
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Spring for the hitler dunk tank op it's really fun
Dude just hates getting wet, ha
You bet. Those Wehrmacht uniforms are dry-clean only.
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Mar 19, 2017 02:48
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- Putty
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HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
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bit of a mix up here, we wanted a clown that vomits bees, not locusts!
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Mar 19, 2017 05:09
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- Meeksha
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i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust
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you're making the right decision. i went to a party once in purgatory and it sucked big time. it was full of unbaptized babies who wouldn't shut up.
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come on and slam and welcome to the jam
Thank you Heather Papps for the summer sig!
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Mar 20, 2017 20:17
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- HighwireAct
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Pozzo's Hat
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hey, did someone hire a clown? because this joker-looking guy in Roman getup keeps hovering around the kids saying something about Muses recounting causes and it does not look like they're having a good time
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Mar 20, 2017 22:06
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- Space Taxi
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David, get away from that brimstone!
Janice, put down that abomination!
Mark, do not go around the corner with Pol Pot.
This birthday party is a living nightmare.
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Mar 23, 2017 05:20
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- shame on an IGA
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Ride the river Breadstyx, unlimited refills $8.99.
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Mar 23, 2017 05:42
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- Murray Mantoinette
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ＴＨＥ ＰＯＳＴＳ ＭＵＳＴ ＦＬＯＷ
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Son: Dad, this is Chuck E. Cheese! I thought I told you I wanted my birthday in Hell!
Me: The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, and a hell of heaven.
Son: *glances around*
Son: ...eh close enough I guess
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Mar 23, 2017 12:43
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- Darkman Fanpage
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we hope
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Mar 23, 2017 13:02
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- Murray Mantoinette
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ＴＨＥ ＰＯＳＴＳ ＭＵＳＴ ＦＬＯＷ
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Mar 23, 2017 13:03
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- Space Taxi
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Parties in hell are okay, just don't get Satan to do balloon animals. Half the time his talons pop them before they are done.
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Mar 24, 2017 01:33
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- Space Taxi
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he gets all sad and mopey, it's actually kinda cute
It's better than when Hitler was doing the balloon figures. All he ever made was swastikas.
Space Taxi fucked around with this message at 02:45 on Mar 25, 2017
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Mar 25, 2017 02:40
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- little munchkin
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i didn't know that you could hold a birthday party in hell, op
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Mar 25, 2017 04:38
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- lmbo calrissian
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i'm into fashion
men are my passion
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Hell raiser synonymous with roof raiser
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Mar 25, 2017 19:55
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- alnilam
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i didn't know that you could hold a birthday party in hell, op
You won't be able to hold this one, it'll be too big!
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Mar 25, 2017 20:41
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- Deadmeat Redux
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Little lost BYOB
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you're making the right decision. i went to a party once in purgatory and it sucked big time. it was full of unbaptized babies who wouldn't shut up.
I bet the Chinese food was excellent though!
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Mar 25, 2017 22:11
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- Space Taxi
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Waiting in line for the queue ride was anticlimactic. When I got to the front of the line and the ride attendant said, "You're done. Exit to the left."
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Mar 26, 2017 02:07
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- Ultra Spoot
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Taking my 8 year old son to the Slayer concert in hell
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Mar 26, 2017 08:40
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- Space Taxi
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My son had a party in hell last year. I got him an ice cream cake.
We never speak of that day.
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Mar 26, 2017 23:39
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 24, 2024 02:52
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- Meeksha
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i did it all for the nookie
Ask me how!
-freb dust
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they have a special offer that lets you get in for free if you sin in bulk
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come on and slam and welcome to the jam
Thank you Heather Papps for the summer sig!
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Mar 28, 2017 17:56
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Mar 12, 2017 21:05
<3 
<3 Vanisher 
