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A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.




What is that?!What the gently caress is that?

This is the California Conservation Corp. There are actually many Conservation Corps (virtually every western state has one). But this the drunken son of the Civilian Conservation Corp. The CCC employs 18-25 years old (up to 29 years for vets) youngins to do all kinds of manual labor. From trail work, to wildland fire, to culinary ‘'arts’, to shovelling literal turds, the CCC does all the manual labor you can imagine.

That sounds like poo poo! Why would you ever do this?
Well, there are numerous reasons:
You are a perpetual gently caress up and only have a GED/no diploma period. You can get a diploma through the CCC.
If you got out of the CCC, you can get about $8k for college through one year of experience. If you supergrades,aka promote, you have the opportunity to get a lot more.
You get preferential treatment on the State job exams after your year.
Bookoo certs. You can get wild land fire certified and have enough experience to go in as GS-04 with no college. You can get trained as a sawyer and go into the USFS again with no college.
The job itself can lead to jobs from sponsors(those paying for the work).
The experience looks really good on a resume.
Sponsors? I thought the CCC was paid for entirely by taxpayers?.

It is, but because of a certain Austrian, each CCC center pays for a certain percentage of its cost through working for private clients. My center pays for 70% of its cost through working for sponsors.

Whoa. I want to join this clusterfuck.

Hold on cowboy. First,leta consider a few things.
You can’t be a convicted felon.
You have to pass a drug test that includes ganja. Yes, you can’t smoke weed in the corp.
Second, there are two types of arrangements in regards to how you work for the CCC.
Residential: You live at a CCC center. It’s a regimented lifestyle, which includes no drugs or alcohol on center, terrible beds, multiple roommates, and a variety of barracks nonsense that leap well past the bounds of stupid into an entire world of retardation. Also, the CCC is 90% :dong: s, so your dreams of loving your way through the CCC better include a lot of gay sex. Also, if you get caught with drugs or a female in your room, that's an automatic termination.The upside is that room and board is cheap, you live with your crew which can grow close, and no commuting.

Non-residential: Basically, you live off base and commute to work everyday. I live on a center, so I dunno about this.
I lived in a barracks! I love living with a pile of dicks. Tell me about the work.

Manual labor,10 hrs a day 4 days a week. Or 8 hrs a day 5 days a week. Different centers have different things they specialize in. My center falls a metric fuckload of trees every year. Fortuna center hangs out in streams most of the year. The work varies depending on the center.

Additionally, there are two special types of work.
Spike: You hang out at a site for 8 to 6 days at a time working, all over California. These kind of suck.But the upside is that you get 4-6 days off.
Emergencies: You can get called to emergencies all over CA and the nation as a whole. The upside is bookoo overtime pay. The downside is 16 he days of mind numbing work, from 7 days to 3 months at a time.Oh, and no time off after..
Oh. What are the benefits?

Basic medical. No dental or vision.
You’ll lose a lot of weight.
You might make some lifelong friends.
I’ve heard you can stay for up to 3 years, though.

Yes you can. Lemme explain the ranking system.

Blue hat- you in your first year. A grunt getting his certs. If you’re not a poo poo, the next step is Specialist.
Green Hat,Specialist- You get another year and you specialize in a certain skill. My center has 4 chainsaw specialists and a culinary specialist.
Red hat, Crew lead 1- You’re now a specialist and responsible for the actions of your crew. You get another year (yr 3). When your C1(your boss) is off doing something, you lead.
Orange hat, Crew lead 2. Now you’re basically junior staff. When C1’s take out crews, you get a 4 man team to boss around. Now if you really want, you can promote to C1, a professional level job.
C2s and above. These guys are senior staff. You would join these of you just love working with troubled youth.
This is kind of intricate in that you can go straight from blue to red. Green hat is seen as a dead end for ~reasons~.

Cool. This sounds really neat and I want to join. Also, I can only orgasm when a McLeod is shoved up my rear end.

Ok, this is my piece of advice to anyone who wants to do this: do not join the C’s just to join the C’s. Come into this program with a purpose in mind and keep that purpose in mind. The downsides are numerous:
Nobody knows what the gently caress is going on. Your C1 lives in a state of perpetual confusion, and this permanent chaos is how you will live.
You can get punished for not knowing what the gently caress is going on. Hey guys, we’re wearing snow boots tomorrow. Oh, your C1 told one person on your crew to wear Steelies? Write ups for everyone.
It is literally impossible to keep a secret in the C’s. Residential centers are, at the largest, 80 people. You tell one person one thing, everyone will know it.
There are a variety of stupid rules. Throwing a snowball is a fireable offense. Saying “that rule is loving gay” is a serious offense that can get you fired.
You absolutely will get writeup for the most arbitrary nonsense. Do not argue with the person writing you up, take it up the chain. God help you if the COM SUP is a complete tool.
Anyone can join the corp. The lazy, the astonishingly dumb, the mentally ill will all be your companions. If you aren’t 19 years old getting kicked out of your mom’s house, you will quickly get tired of younger people antics.
Sandwich bag lunches. Every day for a year.
Being sore constantly.
Carrying heavy poo poo every where.
Working 40 hr weeks of pure manual labor.
Watching your entire COMET quit or get fired.

There's a variety of other stuff about the C’s that I’ll hold off on. Ask me anything, like What’s COMET? What's your dumb corpmember stories? How does one poo poo in the woods?

A little about me: I’m a corp members living at a center in the Sierra Nevada. I’m about 3 weeks in, so I’m collating a lot of this post from older guys and my own observations. I will update as I go along.

I want this thread to be a both ask/tell thread and a general thread in the style of the various military threads in this dead gay forum.

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A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Today, we went to the firehouse to do Wild land Survival training. We had a 'final' for the class. One of the girls in my COMET got so nervous at this stupidly simple test she vomited on it,in the middle of the class.

~CCC~

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit
What was the test?

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

The dude quizzed us on what he had just taught us. He explicitly said that its impossible to fail the test unless you fell asleep in the bathroom for the last eight hours.

I also tried to help put a vet with 2 limbs and 3 kids earlier today. The CMD (the volunteer coordinator) pulled me aside and explicitly told me I couldn't do that because ~liability~.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde
This all sounds really awful and worse than the Army even man.

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009

A White Guy posted:

Today, we went to the firehouse to do Wild land Survival training. We had a 'final' for the class. One of the girls in my COMET got so nervous at this stupidly simple test she vomited on it,in the middle of the class.

~CCC~

is she hot?

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.


Imagine a younger and much fatter Oprah Winfrey with a weave.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
Surf's up, and may God have mercy on your souls.

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


Why in god's name would you put up with all of this and not even get the remote opportunity to destroy people and things in all sorts of fun and unique ways?

Like, at that point, even the military sounds like a more enjoyable lifestyle. At least the DFAC lets you get jacked as gently caress drinking like four glasses of milk per meal.

Splode
Jun 18, 2013

put some clothes on you little freak
You forgot the best part!

This is from the actual website.


I don't understand why anyone would ever join this organisation.

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Hookline today: One of my COMETs brothers was so clearly loving zonked out on Xanax they pulled him out. 5th man of my COMET to get caught for drugs.

Not even a month in and already a quarter of my COMET has gotten separated for drugs.

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Splode posted:

You forgot the best part!

This is from the actual website.


I don't understand why anyone would ever join this organisation.

The reason you join this organization is because it can serve as a gateway to a number of jobs that the military doesn't. That's why I joined.

Or at least, I keep telling myself that.

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Justin Tyme posted:

Why in god's name would you put up with all of this and not even get the remote opportunity to destroy people and things in all sorts of fun and unique ways?

I'm not here for the violence :negative:

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.
The gently caress is a COMET?

I was expecting a child slavery ring under a pizzeria, but there's hard hats and chainsaw :confused:

Commoners
Apr 25, 2007

Sometimes you reach a stalemate. Sometimes you get magic horses.

FrozenVent posted:

The gently caress is a COMET?

I was expecting a child slavery ring under a pizzeria, but there's ALSO hard hats and chainsaw!?

fixed that for you

ulmont
Sep 15, 2010

IF I EVER MISS VOTING IN AN ELECTION (EVEN AMERICAN IDOL) ,OR HAVE UNPAID PARKING TICKETS, PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY FRANCHISE

FrozenVent posted:

The gently caress is a COMET?

quote:

Before applicants become members of the California Conservation Corps, their experience begins with a Basic Orientation and Training. This training is called COMET or the Corpsmember Orientation, Motivation, Education and Training.

So his intake / training group.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

So if you guys work out and about in the state, do you ever stumble upon weed fields?

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

ulmont posted:

So his intake / training group.

Basically the 'class' of recruits they're training. Most COMETs don't last the whole year. It's really common for larger COMETs (e.g. 30) to be down to only 4 after a year mark. Smaller COMETs last longer, but attrition is still above 50%.



EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

So if you guys work out and about in the state, do you ever stumble upon weed fields?

It hasn't happened at my center but there are centers in San Bernadino and Humboldt counties. We work on public land all the time, so it's probably happened.

Kick-Puncher
Jan 20, 2006
I did the nortwest youth corps. It sounds pretty similar to the kinds of stuff you are doing but at a much lower level. Build trails, make minimum wage, work with idiots.

I suggest you buy a bug net for your head. Nothing drives a man to insanity like rebuilding a rotted log bridge over a swamp. The advantage is that to this day I dont swell up from mosquitoes for more than a minute or two.

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

I wanna hear some funny or gross stories. Mainly, I want you to tell me how miserable all this is.

If it IS a streamline way to a fed job, nice. Seems like it's run super lovely though.

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.
Does your service guarantee citizenship?

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

FrozenVent posted:

Does your service guarantee citizenship?

No, but we do have two green card holders in my COMET.


Idiots ahoy: Two corp members got fired for being high on xanax. One got put on contract (aka super close to getting canned, a write up away) for almost beating up another.

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer
sounds like a bunch of real winners

Kawasaki Nun
Jul 16, 2001

by Reene
How many go on to become cops?

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

More importantly, how many go on to enlist?

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Soulex posted:

More importantly, how many go on to enlist?

Most go on to an illustrious career of minimum wage poverty.

Fun fact: the CCC has a 6% graduation rate. That's worse than most colleges and a its only a year long.


Soulex posted:

I wanna hear some funny or gross stories. Mainly, I want you to tell me how miserable all this is.

If it IS a streamline way to a fed job, nice. Seems like it's run super lovely though.

Sad story: there's a paper on the game room wall dedicated to a CC dude who got his poo poo together, red hatted in 6 months, and then proceeded to die of an OD in his room on the first day of an RS's job.

Funny story: Bubbles, a guy who was at my center, currently holds the record for room write ups at 40. They used to take new COMETs into his room to show it as an example of what you shouldn't do. :magical:

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

ty for using my title :3:

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009

A White Guy posted:

Fun fact: the CCC has a 6% graduation rate. That's worse than most colleges and a its only a year long.

with 49 more weeks to go, do you think youll be in that illustrious 6%?

piL
Sep 20, 2007
(__|\\\\)
Taco Defender
6% of 1% roohah!

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

piL posted:

6% of 1% roohah!

Semper hosed.

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

6%? You can walk off the job?

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
Is this an accurate image of how a draft military would function in TYOOL 2017

A Festivus Miracle
Dec 19, 2012

I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Soulex posted:

6%? You can walk off the job?

Yeah, you can quit any time you want. The only people who last are those who want to last. One particular girl walked off the job after 3 weeks because "its too cold".

In September :psyduck:

They'll even pay for your bus ticket provided the firing offense isn't too bad.

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

with 49 more weeks to go, do you think youll be in that illustrious 6%?

Day by loving day.

And its 50 weeks.:shepicide:

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Boy this sounds like the tree-planting jobs my high-school friends had right after high-school...except with less sex and WAY less drugs and more stupidity.

(And some real-world benefits if you're not a moron)

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Yeah, wow. I mean that's an option but goddamn so is being homeless.

DONT THREAD ON ME
Oct 1, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo
Floss Finder
oh hello friend. I did the CCC from 2006-2007, backcountry in 2007, and then was a backcountry sponsor for a few years in yosemite. i had a thread about it ages ago but it's probably in the archives.

best thing i ever did. stick with it. i'll help answer questions in here.

make sure you do backcountry.

DONT THREAD ON ME fucked around with this message at 17:42 on Mar 15, 2017

DONT THREAD ON ME
Oct 1, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo
Floss Finder
to make the experience sound less like poo poo: it's basically a military-lite experience. you get a lot of the hard work and discipline of the military without all of the shooting people. you have to work with a lot of fuckups, but that's part of the charm.

the work is pretty rewarding. if you do the backcountry program, you get to spend 6 months non-stop living and working in the woods. it's a very unique / transformative experience.

DONT THREAD ON ME fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Mar 15, 2017

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit
Just going to throw out that most people in the military never shoot people

DONT THREAD ON ME
Oct 1, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo
Floss Finder
no poo poo.

anyhow, this video is a much better representation of the CCC:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Z4AoB6VHm0

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Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009

then why the gently caress would you imply that being in the military guarantees youre gonna shoot someone?

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