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Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
With Opening Day a week and a half away, it's time for baseball fans to showcase their teams. If you don't know which team to root for because you live in, like, Iowa or Nevada, this thread will give you a basic idea of the identities of MLB's 30 clubs.


The 2017 Houston Astros, predicted to win this year's World Series three years ago by Sports Illustrated



Last season, the Astros had high hopes of the playoffs and managed to finish 3rd in the AL West. That's not what you call 'good'. In spite of this, gamblers pick us to win over 90 games and the division this year. Can the Astros do it? I don't know - I haven't been able to regularly watch them since they were in the NL. YEAR 5 BEGINS APRIL 3RD.

Manager A.J. Hinch


Despite the regression last year, I don't blame Hinch. It was a combination of injuries to starting pitching alongside several bad-luck performances from stars.

Key Gains
Brian McCann (C)
Carlos Beltran (LF)
Charlie Morton (SP)
Josh Reddick (RF)

Key Losses
Doug Fister (SP)
Pat Neshek (RP)
Jason Castro (C)
Luis Valbuena (Utlity)

Catcher Brian McCann (.242/.335/.413)


Old guy number one! Signed from the Yankees, I guess people don't like him? I don't know what to expect of him, having gotten so used to not having any veteran players on the team that I forgot to look at free agents.

First Base Yulieski Gurriel (.262/.292/.385)


1B has been an issue for the Astros pretty much since Berkman got traded. The Cuban defector Gurriel has spent Spring Training working on 1B duties, having spend last season playing on the other side of the infield. While not as dynamic a player as the starting four, he's clearly the best option on offense. The question is, how good is he at 1B?

Second Base Jose Altuve (.338/.396/.531)


The four-time All-Star is clearly the face of the franchise. Having been promoted to the majors during the Astros' dark days, Altuve has evolved from being a guy who just hits singles to a guy who can hit the long ball when needed. If the Astros have a season everyone's expecting of them, he's a shoe-in for MVP (barring some assholes voting for Mike Trout again). Quite short.

Shortstop Carlos Correa (.274/.361/.451)


The Chosen One. One of the best shortstops in the game already, Correa is the next A-Rod, hopefully without the 'going to the Yankees' part.

Third Base Alex Bregman (.264/.313/.478)


Drafted second overall in 2015, Bregman quickly rose up the ranks and debuted with the Astros 13 months later. He's solidified himself as the second man in the batting order, putting up the numbers you see despite starting his career 0-17. As the least-experienced guy on the roster, he's going to be streaky.

Left Field Carlos Beltran (.295/.337/.513)


Old guy number two! Seņor Octubre makes his return to the Astros, having been a rental in 2004. Hopefully we make it to Octubre, so he'll be useful.

Center Field George Springer (.261/.359/.457)


Despite being drafted as a CF, Springer has played his first three seasons in an Astros uniform in right field. With all other options exhausted, Hinch will have to play him in the position he was born to play. I'm presuming he's the leadoff hitter still.

Right Field Josh Reddick (.281/.345/.405)


Old guy number three! Wait, he's only 30? Anyway, he played for the A's last year, so I know a little bit about him. Namely, he could be a FRAUD.

Designated Hitter Evan Gattis (.251/.319/.508)


Pretty much your standard DH. Backup catcher, as well.

Starting Pitcher 1 Dallas Keuchel (9-12)


Wha' happa? 2015's Cy Young winner fell HARD in 2016. Regardless, Keuchel is still the best pitcher we've got right now, so I'd expect him on Opening Day.

Starting Pitcher 2 Lance McCullers, Jr. (6-5)


Injured for chunks of 2016, McCullers was our only starting pitcher to have an ERA+ over 100 (not counting guys who moved to and from the bullpen). If Keuchel slips, McCullers is our ace.

Starting Pitcher 3 Collin McHugh (13-10)


Last year, I predicted McHugh's H9 to go down. It went up! He's good enough for a mid-range spot in the rotation, though.

Starting Pitcher 4 Mike Fiers (11-8)


Also good enough for a mid-range spot in the rotation.

Starting Pitcher 5 Charlie Morton (1-1)


Signed during the offseason, I'm placing my money on Morton (who was on the DL for most of last year) getting the nod over Joe Musgrove for the final spot.

Closer Ken Giles (2-5, 15 saves)


In 2016, I coined the phrase 'pulling a Ken Giles'. It's where you load the bases with no outs and get out of the inning without allowing a run. Without a doubt, the most frustrating player on the roster. Was ABSOLUTE poo poo for the first few months, then was good enough to be closer over Luke Gregerson. Throws a lot of Ks.

PREDICTION: Last year, I predicted we'd win the World Series. That did not happen, obviously, but I still believe we can do it this year.

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