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Healthy Nut Snack posted:*wears carhart *puts on city boots to go to the city *city has population of 20,000, 8,000 of which are Native Americans
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Mar 24, 2017 06:02
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:27 |
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*takes trash out to burn-barrel *goes out to deep freeze to get supper started *listens to Lawrence Welk
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Mar 24, 2017 06:10
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*Murders a photographer with the help of nephew, cuts up her body and burns her in the yard, clearly visible from a county highway*
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Mar 24, 2017 06:12
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Ho-ly poo poo boys look at that! God drat when those city girls come through with their little booty shorts! Oh yeah. For sure. They want that attention. Why the gently caress would they put on a g-string and a tiny top with their titties about to pop out if they didn't want you to stare? gently caress, give me one minute alone with them and I'd show them how we gently caress down here. OK, I'm done for the night. Rick, grab me a beer for the road will you please? What am I going to hit? There isn't even a turn in the loving road until Ninth Line. Just - thank you. Cheers brother. Night y'all. I think Mark's gay. Actually gay. Like he's a queer or something. No, there's nothing - well gently caress, I haven't seen him in what ten years and we met up for lunch and he was eyeing me up and down all weird and his voice is a bit higher up. No, I didn't ask. I'm not rude. Hell no. Don't ask me. The city changes a guy. Probably some queers got him all hosed up or something or maybe he was always that way. Right. In high school. Aw, drat it we used to shower with him didn't we? What church you go to?
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Mar 24, 2017 06:13
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*Used to work at a now defunct Co-Op
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Mar 24, 2017 06:14
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*dresses up nicely and drives an hour to the walmart*
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Mar 24, 2017 06:17
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It's called SUPPER.
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Mar 24, 2017 06:18
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JiveHonky posted:this town is very small and I live here *Stumbles over to you* Oh man! This guy! This guy.... right here... this... this guy GETS it!! Man... what... what happened.. you know? YoU know what I mean!! All.. all those guys.. fukkin.. Chad, fukkin Dwayne.. fukkin... um... fuckingggg.. you know.. uh.. TODD! Todd the rear end in a top hat who still owes me forty bucks... they all.. THEy all just.. loving LEFT man!! Like, what, what the hell man!? What are they like, they're too good for this place? They're too good for everyone, HUH!? But YOU man, you're here man, and... and... you know what..? YOU'RE AWESOME!!!
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Mar 24, 2017 06:18
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Testikles posted:Ho-ly poo poo boys look at that! God drat when those city girls come through with their little booty shorts! Oh yeah. For sure. They want that attention. Why the gently caress would they put on a g-string and a tiny top with their titties about to pop out if they didn't want you to stare? gently caress, give me one minute alone with them and I'd show them how we gently caress down here. This post and Yorkshire are killing it, I swear to God. Except the country girls love the booty shorts too, especially if they have cellulite.
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Mar 24, 2017 06:18
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*Subscribes to Reminisce magazine *Gossips about typo in local newspaper
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Mar 24, 2017 06:27
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Yorkshire Pudding posted:I'm Tyler by the way. Haha yeah, that's my pickup right over there. Just got the lift kit put it, cost a fuckin' fortune but it's worth it. Me? Oh, haha, no I don't go to Valley High. Well I did, I graduated in 09. I work out at B&B Trailer Hitches on Maple Ave now. Hey does Mr. Larson still teach there? Oh, he must have retired. He was fuckin cool though, yeah. So how do you know Alex? I guess I don't really know him, but his older brother Tate was a few years below me in school and I used to come out here and party like, every weekend, haha. Yeah I have some good fuckin' stories about this place. By the way, what grade did you say you were in? Lmao
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Mar 24, 2017 06:31
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Lives in boring small town, time to drink! *state lowers bac to .05*
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Mar 24, 2017 06:33
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Yorkshire Pudding posted:his older brother Tate
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Mar 24, 2017 06:34
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God dammit, that dog is an idiot. He drat near tipped the boat over yesterday. I'll shoot a duck and he'll bring back a coot. I don't know where he finds em, no--but poo poo, those ducks are still out in the reeds I bet. *says this five times between 5 and 9pm*
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Mar 24, 2017 06:35
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*Quilts in spare time...Impressive thimble collection. "Things were different back then. People worked and that's just what they did. Your great-grandfather worked in the coal mines and I remember how they would let the workers know if they needed to come in. When it got cold the whistle would blow twice letting them know that there was work in the mines, if it blew once then they needed half the workers, if it didn't blow at all then there was no work at the mines that day. Some winters were mild and you wouldn't hear the whistle blow very often, but some winters were cold like the winter of '36 when the workers were needed full time because people needed the coal when it got especially cold. And that's how it worked, if the whistle blowed there was work to be done, if not then people stayed at home. And that's how it was." "Did I ever tell you about prohibition?"
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Mar 24, 2017 06:47
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bro i wanna start a weed grow i got a clone from ralph and im gonna run game in this town bro u just watch *grows ounce of pot* *gets caught selling half of it* *gets misdemeanor; job as gas station cashier* *starts doing heroin* *dies*
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Mar 24, 2017 06:51
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A. Beaverhausen posted:This post and Yorkshire are killing it, I swear to God. Except the country girls love the booty shorts too, especially if they have cellulite. loving this. Testikles be proud.
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Mar 24, 2017 06:51
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Don't forget your mother's birthday is next Tuesday. Call her early because you know how she worries. I know you must be busy - no, no, it's ok just remember to call before noon or she'll worry and I won't hear the end of it. Did I tell you I saw your friend Jason at the market last week? Seems to be doing well, still working with computers. No, no, it's ok - I should be going anyway. Just remember to call your mother. Susan we've been over this. Our ministers have always preached from the pulpit and I don't see why we need to change that now. Besides, that's where all the microphone cables are - yes, we do have the headset microphone but just the one. What if we have a guest speaker who needs it? Am I supposed to stop the service so we can swap them over? I don't think so. Look mom, it's a joke from The Simpsons, the Indian convenience store guy says it... yeah I know you and dad are Pakistani but they don't... I mean sure, if other people said it I might get offended but these guys are my friends so... yeah I get it but these guys have been nice to me and there aren't any other... look, you said make it work ok? So I'm making it work.
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Mar 24, 2017 07:06
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YEEEEEHAAAW
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Mar 24, 2017 07:09
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Hector Beerlioz posted:Running Springs sucks Ya but it's near Big Bear and my dads cabin which Owns
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Mar 24, 2017 07:21
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*throws egg at car*
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Mar 24, 2017 07:22
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*Tells you about the time they worked at the Dixie Cup factory.
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Mar 24, 2017 07:28
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So, it's in the weekly ad isn't it? Then what's it matter if I don't have the coupons with me? if it's in the ad then you should just scan it at that price. Do you know how long I've been shopping here? I've come to this store twice a week for thirty years. I knew Rick Marshall, he was the manager of this place when it opened. His father and my father played baseball together at the JuCo, I know him. Let me talk to your manager. Where's Kevin, is Kevin here? He'll give me the discount if I talk to him, he's such a sweetheart. This is why people go to Wal-Mart you know, it's cheaper and they don't fret this kind of stuff. This place used to be all about customer service, that's why you're losing customers now. You know what? Nevermind, just put it back. Just put it back on the shelf. I don't want it. It's just like, it's separate from the whole race thing. I get that black people have some problems, and if they want to protest that's fine, but that's not the way you do it. If he's an American he should stand for the national anthem. It's got nothin' to do with race or ethnicity or whatever, it's about being American. He makes 25 million dollars a year, and yet he wants to talk poo poo about America? It's just disrespectful. Like, yeah, I'm sure it was so hard growing up in a nice house and being a football superstar. I'm not saying blacks can't speak out, I feel them on the whole Freddie Gray thing, but there's a time and a place. Let's cut after lunch on Friday, Jamie's parents are gone so we can go his place and do it. I don't know where they are. His dad's never home anyway and his mom is always hosed up on pills or something, she doesn't care. But we need to all go to different stores to get enough, or it'll look weird and they'll call the cops on us. Derrick will get some duster from Wal-Mart, and the rest of us can go to the Dollar Stores. We'll need like two pack each, make sure to get the one's with DXM in it or they won't do anything. Just fake like you have a bad cough so it doesn't seem weird. Yeah, Taylor did it last week and said it was loving awesome, like being in another dimension. He threw up for like an hour after, but my cousin said you just need to take some Vitamin C before and that won't happen.
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Mar 24, 2017 07:32
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*Devout Kubota customer...scorns John Deere.
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Mar 24, 2017 07:33
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*town finally votes to go wet* *town is 8 people off in the census from the 8,000 needed to have bars* *we can have 3 liquor stores* *this actually happened where I live*
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Mar 24, 2017 07:41
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I'm Rylee, I'm 22 and my little munchkin is my whole world. I love camping and getting my hands dirty!
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Mar 24, 2017 07:55
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Let me try. Ok I'm gonna go into town, grab some things. Yeah milk, eggs, gas. Why do you need something from there? No I was just gonna go to Wal-Mart. I can if you need me to. Well Mrs. Johnson is a greeter there and she will ask in church if I don't turn up at least once before Saturday. I'll get beer too. Yes we are out. Because Bobby was here last night and we drank it. Not my fault, you were at Jannets for that baby shower; you could have got a drink there. Well too bad for her not having a drink, not your fault she got knocked up. Well that's what she gets for being a slut is all I'm sayin'. If her pappy was still alive they'd be married by now. I'm not EXACTLY like dad. Look I'm leaving now. Ok. Ok. And pasta? Ok. Ok. Yes. Love you too. Yes and some soup.
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Mar 24, 2017 07:58
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I would like to vote 6 Lowtax.
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Mar 24, 2017 08:04
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i do doctor work in small towns sometimes and everyone is fat and depressed and you have to try to get them to not kill themselves while managing their high blood pressure and diabetes. lol.
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Mar 24, 2017 08:14
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*lives in a town with five churches and a bar*
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Mar 24, 2017 10:55
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*does anything bad ever, someone who knows your mom sees and calls*
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Mar 24, 2017 10:55
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"Welp, the library's closed. Do you guys wanna hang out at the laundromat or in front of the Kwik-Stop?"
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Mar 24, 2017 10:56
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*gets mad when people call Main Street by its actual name, because just because it's the only street in town doesn't mean it doesn't deserve a name*
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Mar 24, 2017 10:57
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*watches people on TV going happily through a corn maze and shakes head at the sweet summer children who do not know the terror of getting lost in a cornfield at the height of rabies season*
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Mar 24, 2017 10:58
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*lives in a town with a rabies season*
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Mar 24, 2017 10:58
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*a deer walks into your backyard* CITY FRIEND: Awww, a deer! OMG look look look! *takes a photo* ME: *whispering* Stay the gently caress away from my car you motherless piece of poo poo.
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Mar 24, 2017 10:59
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*feels smug at the people from smaller towns who have to use your town's post office because even though it's 15 miles away it's the closest one*
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Mar 24, 2017 11:00
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"Well, it's the time of the month when we get groceries!" *drives an hour to the grocery store and buys enough provisions to comfortably feed an entire summer camp*
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Mar 24, 2017 11:01
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You guys are sucking yorkshire's dick as much as big cities suck dick (a lot) If you need me I'll be at the dollar store picking up some toiletries. Gotta spend$25 to get that $5 off so if you can think of any snacks you want shoot me a text.
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Mar 24, 2017 12:15
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 10:27 |
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I'm not even making these up they're just slight variations of conversations I heard every day for 19 years.
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Mar 24, 2017 12:44
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