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*is scared shitless at the idea of driving in a city or large multi-lane highway*
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Mar 24, 2017 23:06
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Chinatown posted:*gets married at 19*
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Mar 24, 2017 23:53
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Mordor She Wrote posted:Only popping into say that my girlfriend makes me drive to Iowa periodically to a very specific Casey's general store in order to buy a pizza covered in doritios and taco sauce. Hey now thread just got serious. Don't be talking poo poo about Casey's taco pizza. It's got refried beans, sausage, Doritos, lettuce and cheese. The taco sauce you put on yourself via Casey's taco sauce packets.
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Mar 25, 2017 00:57
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Is this the thread where I can post a screenshot from the Nearby tab on my OKCupid app?Chinatown posted:*is scared shitless at the idea of driving in a city or large multi-lane highway* This is basically how my mom is.
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Mar 25, 2017 01:06
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Astoundingly Ugly Baby posted:This is basically how my mom is. I'm not scared of it but driving in Chicago or NYC sucks a massive dick compared to a town of 2000 where you can park almost anywhere you want for gasp...free. I'm your mom too surprise.
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Mar 25, 2017 01:08
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"S'posed to storm today." "I hope it does we need a good rain."
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Mar 25, 2017 01:15
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Where's the birth certificate
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Mar 25, 2017 01:19
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Money Bags posted:"S'posed to storm today." -Me, last summer.
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Mar 25, 2017 01:21
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You goin to the yard sard?
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Mar 25, 2017 02:10
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*4th of July* Hell yeah time for the grand finale of 10 fireworks in a row. I love you baby.
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Mar 25, 2017 02:15
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The local pool? Yeah, 20 years ago it was pretty nice, clean, the town took good care of it. Now the place is a loving zoo. Ever since they built those cheap apartments across the street and you know the type of people that moved into there. They treat the pool like a daycare, come strolling in and drop off their five kids to run around like wild, and go off to spend the afternoon breeding up more. It's just irresponsible parenting and a disgrace how this place has gone downhill. Yeah, I did some work with habitat for humanity in the town over. We built this real nice house, 2 bedrooms, a bath and a half, great kitchen. I did up all the cabinets in my shop with some oak I had leftover from a tree that hit the cabin a couple years ago. So this 'rican lady and her three kids get it for absolutely nothing. Great little place, wonderful opportunity to really turn things around for yourself and better your life. I drive by every now and then and it's a loving wreck. Those people don't know how to take care of anything. You give them an opportunity and they just throw it away. Gutters hanging down, grass overgrown, trash in the lawn. What a waste. Haha, you should've seen Troy last year at bear camp. He got so wasted, hopped out the truck and was taking a piss on the side of the road. I pulled out my pistol and fired a shot right next to his head. Fucker was so drunk he didn't even flinch.
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Mar 25, 2017 02:18
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*lives in a lonely world* *catches the midnight train going anywhere*
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Mar 25, 2017 03:01
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Testikles posted:gently caress, give me one minute alone with them and I'd show them how we gently caress down here. *struggles to even get a semi, due to early diabetes symptoms*
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Mar 25, 2017 03:27
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Pawn 17 posted:I grew up in a town with about 3500 people AMA I grew up in a town of 2000. 
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Mar 25, 2017 03:31
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I live in a town of 600 
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Mar 25, 2017 03:40
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Tyson Tomko posted:*4th of July* Hell yeah time for the grand finale of 10 fireworks in a row. I love you baby. *people in their home yards set off fireworks after the fact* *neighborhood idiots gather round on the side walk, watching in awe as if they haven't already seen them every night from July 1-7th that year* To be fair, I've only seen this happened once, but it was still stupid.
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Mar 25, 2017 03:41
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CloFan posted:I live in a town of 600 gently caress I will send you a sympathy corn.
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Mar 25, 2017 04:01
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someone casually said tell them the company friend of the family dropped it off jokingly and I got up mad as hell about using the word friend of the family but they interpreted it as me sincerely thinking we'd hired a licentious blackamoor and I justhad to accept the events thats middle america
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Mar 25, 2017 04:09
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Cops? You think they come round here? No man, they know the rules. They come by you just wave and act nice and they'll leave you alone. Just last week me and Jesse are high out of our drat minds sitting in the flatbed smoking a joint and shooting the poo poo. Cop rolls up in a cruise and asks us if we're staying out of trouble. We just say "yes sir" with a big lit joint in our hand and he just smiles and says to keep it that way. That's the way it is out here. Government or nothing can't gently caress with us out here cause there's too few of them and too many of us. A cop comes up here and starts poking his nose in everything, we'd just dig a hole as deep as he's tall and throw him in, and there ain't nobody in this town gonna say nothing about it. Besides they're too busy writing traffic tickets at the turnpike and busting niggers over in town anyway to come gently caress with us. The wife made chicken par-ma-jon and it serves me right for not turning on the light cause I dropped the whole blessed thing on the floor. Dog ate better than I did. I tell you it was the funniest poo poo. One time some kid from DC came round to try and talk to us. I was out on the porch with the boys and saw him coming up in his tiny rice-wagon. All I did was pick up my Remington and put two holes in a stump on the lawn and you should have seen it! That fucker was so busy trying to un-rear end himself he made a three-point turn on the trail and got himself half-stuck in a ditch. Spun his wheels for ten seconds before it caught a rock and he got back on the road and high-tailed it like I was chasing him. We all just about died from laughing. They caught Will and his friends up on the water tower again. I told him if he's not careful next time it won't be a cop car that'll drive you back, it'll be an ambulance or a hearse. He's a good kid but sometimes I'd beat him if it was legal.
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Mar 25, 2017 08:42
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Don't worry about me. I am already getting myself set up for retirement. Get this, you ever hear of bitcoin? No? It's pretty complicated stuff but it's good money if you got in early like I did. I bought a few for a couple of hundred each and right now they're sitting at a grand easy. When I'm ready to retire those will be worth a mint. I'm talking with some real smart people right now about getting into investing too, so if things go just right, I might be able to even retire early. If it doesn't work out I got the house I can sell for a couple of thousand easy and move into a trailer for less. I got a few hundred in the savings account and I'll be putting more away until then. I'll be fine, don't you worry.
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Mar 25, 2017 08:49
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Hello officer how can I help? State statures only require me to have the window down two inches to facilitate conversation and document exchange. I know my rights. I know my rights officer! I don't need a licence. I don't. Why have you stopped me? I don't need a licence. I don't. Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Am I being detained? No? Well I'd like to go please. Please move. Move. Move. I will go even if you keep standing there officer. Please I am a man of peace I wish no harm on anyone. Stop impeding my travel. Did you know you're impeding my travel? That's against the law. Then call your supervisor. They will tell you, now let me go. So I am being detained? Am I being detained officially officer? No I won't get out. No. Don't touch my car please. Don't touch it. I will submit an official complaint if you do. Call your supervisor. NO! DONT! HIT! THAT! WINDOW! DON'T! STOP! I DO NOT CONSENT. I DO NOT CONSENT. I DO NOT CONSENT.
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Mar 25, 2017 09:09
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Knows neighbors. Is safe. Lives in a place where there hasn't been a murder in 20 years.
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Mar 25, 2017 09:16
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Favorite Book: THE BIBLE AND NOTHING ELSE
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Mar 25, 2017 09:50
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Gridlocked posted:Hello officer how can I help? State statures only require me to have the window down two inches to facilitate conversation and document exchange. I know my rights. I know my rights officer! I don't need a licence. I don't. Why have you stopped me? I don't need a licence. I don't. Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Am I being detained? No? Well I'd like to go please. Please move. Move. Move. I will go even if you keep standing there officer. Please I am a man of peace I wish no harm on anyone. Stop impeding my travel. Did you know you're impeding my travel? That's against the law. Then call your supervisor. They will tell you, now let me go. So I am being detained? Am I being detained officially officer? No I won't get out. No. Don't touch my car please. Don't touch it. I will submit an official complaint if you do. Call your supervisor. NO! DONT! HIT! THAT! WINDOW! DON'T! STOP! I DO NOT CONSENT. I DO NOT CONSENT. I DO NOT CONSENT. These are my favorite youtube videos. The smuggest of sovereign citizens, thinking they know the magic words to make all police run away. Then they get tased to gently caress while screaming "I want a supervisor!" P. Barnes I love you!
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Mar 25, 2017 10:00
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God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title
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ballistics statistics posted:These are my favorite youtube videos. P. Barnes is a hero to us all.
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Mar 25, 2017 10:23
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the town cop wears jeans when out on patrol
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Mar 25, 2017 12:58
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-drives 3.2 miles and sees 3 different exes- -Has massive stores of TP, paper towels, canned food, and frozen food despite (because of) driving the 12 minute drive to Wal-Mart at least once and sometimes three times a day- "I gotta warsh the car" - Has small attached garage for tinkering. Drops $8K+ on building a massive pole barn "garage" for Advanced Tinkering- -complains about black men courting a white woman when finding adult grandkids watching Real Chance at Love out of boredom- -lives in a town that peaked at 20K and has lost a few thousand since the auto plant shut down, goes to a smaller town with no industry or jobs and gets called "city girl"- -knows every back route to every corner of every decent-sized city in a several hundred mile radius because gently caress The Interstate- -Is dragged into Hot Topic by 13 year old niece or grandchild when going to the big city malls- -smokes weed before and after school to deal with boredom, depression, and existential dread- -smokes weed before and after work, same reasons- -spends unemployed periods high AF, trying to find a job that doesn't urine screen- -knows a guy who can fix the thing-
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Mar 25, 2017 13:06
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Tyson Tomko posted:I'm not scared of it but driving in Chicago or NYC sucks a massive dick compared to a town of 2000 where you can park almost anywhere you want for gasp...free. chicago isnt that bad. ive never driven in NYC but chicago doesnt have poo poo on LA yeah six lane highways are terrifying and people drive like assholes but in my experiences in chicago you are always moving, so if you have cruise control on everyone speeds around you at 25 over. in LA, you are not moving, so you have to deal with people cutting you off at 15 miles per hour with some rear end in a top hat tailgating you in stop and go traffic
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Mar 25, 2017 13:16
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LA ain't poo poo. NYC and new jersey suck rear end though. (next poster: bruh have you tried Mumbai)
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Mar 25, 2017 13:19
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:
i live in a city of like 300k people that functions as the economic center for a good 600 miles of rural area around it and despite it being small city with a total of one (1) building over 15 stories it never fails that wide-eyed country folk look at our four lane roads and parking garages and art installations as Stuff From The Big City. i have even been called 'city folk' and i can leave my apartment and walk like a mile to unzoned forestland
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Mar 25, 2017 13:23
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Panfilo posted:hotdish Finally, someone who knows how to actually say "casserole."
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Mar 25, 2017 13:36
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*wins teh big ball game* *gets engaged to highschool sweetheart* *tries heroin for the first time* *overdoses*
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Mar 25, 2017 13:44
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WalletBeef posted:*wins teh big ball game* you forgot: *death is ruled as a typical junkie*
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Mar 25, 2017 13:53
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With that flag on your jacket and the way you look, you're heading for trouble here, buddy.
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Mar 25, 2017 14:25
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The Dennis System posted:Knows neighbors. Is safe. Lives in a place where there hasn't been a murder in 20 years. I think you mean, "Lives in a place where a murder hasn't been reported in 20 years".
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Mar 25, 2017 14:36
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I'm either an opioid or meth user.
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Mar 25, 2017 15:38
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*has a passion for hot dogs* *opens hot dog stand* *has a quietly successful life filled with happyness*
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Mar 25, 2017 15:55
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The Dennis System posted:Knows neighbors. Is safe. Lives in a place where there hasn't been a murder in 20 years. *lived in major cities most of life and is contented to be away from the idiocy in adulthood* *worries about deer and elk eating newly planted trees, not so much gang bangers* *looks forward to starting apiary to help polinate garden* Fog Tripper fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Mar 25, 2017 |
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Mar 25, 2017 16:05
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On a single lane country road through nowhere Speed Limit 70 mph *small town begins* Speed Limit 25 mph
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Mar 25, 2017 16:11
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FogHelmut posted:On a single lane country road through nowhere *still goes 49 but knows the spot where the one (rear end in a top hat) cop likes to park*
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Mar 25, 2017 16:20
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