OctaviusBeaver posted:

*Loses job at family business when Walmart comes to town*

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

I swear to God I'll beat Tray's rear end if I see him at Jesse's this weekend. He's been talking poo poo ever since Clay and him got wasted and got in a fight in the parking lot of the Alibi. Did you see that poo poo? Clay hit him so loving hard man, it was loving crazy. Deanna has a video of it on her phone.


Do we need anything from Wal-Mart before I get home from work? Those Lay's that Brandon likes are 2-for-1. But I think we might still have one. Yeah would you check for me? No, Save-A-Lot doesn't have the same deal, it's just Wal-Mart. No...no...yes, it's just Wal-Mart. No, it's just Wal...I was just there yesterday, I saw it. Well we can get it at Casey's but It'll be more expensive. I need gas though if we're going to the races tonight anyway, so it doesn't matter.


Did you see the picture's of Dee and Larry's kid? Yeah he's pretty cute. Doesn't really look too much like Larry though, ya know? Who was that guy she used to date, Tommy Herkens? Herkel? Yeah, the kind of, uh, swarthy guy. Yeah. The kids hair is pretty curly already and...I don't know. Just something I noticed.

Toadvine posted:

*Climbs inside silo to dislodge stuck corn*

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

Bill said they're gonna rent out the VFW for Patty and his 25th anniversary, you wanna go? They got $2 longnecks. Could be fun.


Lavelle did pretty well against ours boys last week, 21-14. That Henderson boy s'got a good arm on him. Reminds me of Allen Rochester from when we were in high school. Remember him? What's he up to now? Last I heard he moved down to Oklahoma and was working at a machine processing plant.


It's not a race thing, I don't even notice they're black. I think one of them is hispanic, even. it's just that they're always walking around in groups, and they're always out after dark. Who knows what they're doing. I just always see them around. Seems like there's more of'em than there used to be.

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

I swear to God I'll beat Tray's rear end if I see him at Jesse's this weekend. He's been talking poo poo ever since Clay and him got wasted and got in a fight in the parking lot of the Alibi. Did you see that poo poo? Clay hit him so loving hard man, it was loving crazy. Deanna has a video of it on her phone.


Do we need anything from Wal-Mart before I get home from work? Those Lay's that Brandon likes are 2-for-1. But I think we might still have one. Yeah would you check for me? No, Save-A-Lot doesn't have the same deal, it's just Wal-Mart. No...no...yes, it's just Wal-Mart. No, it's just Wal...I was just there yesterday, I saw it. Well we can get it at Casey's but It'll be more expensive. I need gas though if we're going to the races tonight anyway, so it doesn't matter.


Did you see the picture's of Dee and Larry's kid? Yeah he's pretty cute. Doesn't really look too much like Larry though, ya know? Who was that guy she used to date, Tommy Herkens? Herkel? Yeah, the kind of, uh, swarthy guy. Yeah. The kids hair is pretty curly already and...I don't know. Just something I noticed.

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

I don't think he's trying to take away or guns or anything like that, I just think he's gonna regulate the industry so much that we can hardly afford ammo. I mean look at the price of ammo, I can't ever remember it being so high. What goods a gun without ammo, you know. It'd be the smart way to do it, if he were going to. I'd just rather be safe than sorry.


Oh he's a good kid, I always liked him. Gay as the day is long though, HAH HAH. He's an alright kid though, got a good heart. Just real gay. Him and Cory been buddies since they were young, he's always just been a little fruity. Good kid though. Just gay s'all.


Is there something we can do about it though, I mean legally? Seems like there's been more of them as of late, I see them sleeping on porches and pushing their carts down Main Street almost every day. Course I have sympathy for 'em, but is there some place we can put them? I spent my whole life in this town and when I was young we didn't have folks living on the streets, asking for money. Course things were different back then. Just hate to see the way this world's going, don't want Johnsonville to end up that way. Folks round here have it hard enough without having to worry about someone robbing them or being bothered to hand out money every time they wanna go down to the medicine shop.

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

You goin' out to Mikey's bonfire tonight? It was pretty sweet last time, his cousin's out of jail and bought a bunch of rum. I think they're going to make jungle juice this time too. Last time Pam got wasted and spilt Natty Light all over her shirt and spent like two hours in just her bra, it was loving awesome. Yeah as long as those faggots from Fort Marshall High don't show up again. We'll beat their rear end if they do.


You just don't know what it was like here when I was growin' up. Everyone had a job, there was work if you wanted it. That old part of town past 3rd street, that's all empty warehouses now? That used to be factories. You should have seen it. And you didn't have people airing all their problems for everyone to see all the time, marching around protesting over every little thing. I just think people had more dignity or...I don't know, maybe I'm just getting old. I'm not sayin' I agree with everything he says, but if he can bring jobs back here maybe we ought to give him a chance.


I'm Tyler by the way. Haha yeah, that's my pickup right over there. Just got the lift kit put it, cost a fuckin' fortune but it's worth it. Me? Oh, haha, no I don't go to Valley High. Well I did, I graduated in 09. I work out at B&B Trailer Hitches on Maple Ave now. Hey does Mr. Larson still teach there? Oh, he must have retired. He was fuckin cool though, yeah. So how do you know Alex? I guess I don't really know him, but his older brother Tate was a few years below me in school and I used to come out here and party like, every weekend, haha. Yeah I have some good fuckin' stories about this place. By the way, what grade did you say you were in?

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

So, it's in the weekly ad isn't it? Then what's it matter if I don't have the coupons with me? if it's in the ad then you should just scan it at that price. Do you know how long I've been shopping here? I've come to this store twice a week for thirty years. I knew Rick Marshall, he was the manager of this place when it opened. His father and my father played baseball together at the JuCo, I know him. Let me talk to your manager. Where's Kevin, is Kevin here? He'll give me the discount if I talk to him, he's such a sweetheart. This is why people go to Wal-Mart you know, it's cheaper and they don't fret this kind of stuff. This place used to be all about customer service, that's why you're losing customers now. You know what? Nevermind, just put it back. Just put it back on the shelf. I don't want it.


It's just like, it's separate from the whole race thing. I get that black people have some problems, and if they want to protest that's fine, but that's not the way you do it. If he's an American he should stand for the national anthem. It's got nothin' to do with race or ethnicity or whatever, it's about being American. He makes 25 million dollars a year, and yet he wants to talk poo poo about America? It's just disrespectful. Like, yeah, I'm sure it was so hard growing up in a nice house and being a football superstar. I'm not saying blacks can't speak out, I feel them on the whole Freddie Gray thing, but there's a time and a place.


Let's cut after lunch on Friday, Jamie's parents are gone so we can go his place and do it. I don't know where they are. His dad's never home anyway and his mom is always hosed up on pills or something, she doesn't care. But we need to all go to different stores to get enough, or it'll look weird and they'll call the cops on us. Derrick will get some duster from Wal-Mart, and the rest of us can go to the Dollar Stores. We'll need like two pack each, make sure to get the one's with DXM in it or they won't do anything. Just fake like you have a bad cough so it doesn't seem weird. Yeah, Taylor did it last week and said it was loving awesome, like being in another dimension. He threw up for like an hour after, but my cousin said you just need to take some Vitamin C before and that won't happen.

MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:

"Well, your uncle and I were kind of drunk, and we were driving around in my first '57 Chevy. The cream and red one. What do you mean, 'What kind of Chevy?' Corvettes are all I've owned from them.

Anyway we driving and drinking - which, by the way, you ever do that and I won't bail you out - and this was, I think 74? I was on night shift by then, anyway. So it was about 6 AM. We're out where 350 West meets 200 North and there are those train tracks, you know? Right even with the road.

So I stopped and backed and filled until I was on the track, your uncle egging me on, and then I just took off. Probably going g 40, 45. We made it a couple hundred feet, then the front wheels went off one way, the back wheels went off another way. Car was stuck. So we grabbed the beer and walked backed to (Uncle's) place. Finished the beer, I passed out.

I got up the next day, went to work, and when I can out the side entrance, there was my car! Sitting in the tow lot where the Credit Union is now. I had a spare key in my wallet, so I jumped in, turned it on, and got the hell out of there.

Later I found out a train came along those tracks, and managed to stop without hitting the car. The conductor then went up to the houses in front of the track, you know how those tracks are in the backyards of that row of houses? He went up and was like 'is this your car?'

It wasn't any of theirs, of course, so the train waited while the tow company came and got the car. They towed it to that lot, lucky for me."

"When I was about 15, I was in Brad Trout's convertible with George Cooper & a guy we called Red, cause of his hair. Don't rightly know his real name. He worked at the foundry with me for years. So did George. Brad died in Vietnam, remember, you got me an etching of his name from the wall when you went there on a field trip?

Anyway it was the four of us, sunny day, top down, and Brad was showing off. Suddenly the rode turnt from asphalt to gravel, and I see Brand yanking on the wheel from my seat behind him. Then we were in the air, then we were upside down, then I was in a ditch and the car was rolling off away from the road. Crazy poo poo.

Brad was finex he'd bailed out before I fell out. We found Red tucked in under the backseat, had to lift the car a bit so he could crawl out.

George? We found George just wandering around, in the woods on the otherside of the field.

Someone called the police, and an ambulance showed up. The other three were in back, I was up front with the ambulance guys. I must have been in shock because I kept reaching out and poking the button that made the siren go off, and the driver kept telling me to knock it off. I didn't, I pushed that button all the way to the hospital."


"When we were growing up, some of the older boys would stick blankets and tarps in the drainage ditch at the bottom of that real steep hill that meets another hill, that little valley. It would fill with water, cars would come through, hit the water, and their engines would die. We would then helpfully offer to push them out for a small fee. We were all dirt poor, every one of us lived in one of a few a tiny cabins, gotta remember that. We had to earn money somehow.

Anyway, one time this old boy with a 1940 (make, model, can't remember) truck came down, and hit the water. We appeared, offered help, and then realized the back of his truck was full of chickens. In cages. One of them was pecking Alex's hand the whole time. We get near the top, he just reaches out and wrings its neck.

The old man jumped out and commenced to hollering about his chicken, so we let go of the car and moved off to the side. The car was I neutral, so it started rolling backwards. It picked up a fair amount of speed before it hit that water." -chuckles- We'd only push him out if he agreed to pay us the original price and not make a fuss over the chicken."


"One time your uncle came home, told Mom he was going to a basketball game. She told him he wasn't allowed. He started arguing, and she just up and broke a big plate over his head!"

"I was quality control, my last 11 years at Chrysler. That meant we sat in the break room playing cards, and once an hour we'd go watch parts go by."

(I suggest such things contributed to the issues with the Americam big auto parts plants may have been somewhat causes by stuff like that)

"Hey, we had a UNION. Blah blah American made cars are still the best blah"

"There was a one-legged guy down at the foundry, we called him poo poo on a Stick."

Those are all.my dad. Who says "warsh" now just to aggravate me, but used to say it uniorically.


"That loving bitch, I'll kick her rear end, messing with my man. I will beat her rear end. There she is! Hey! Hey Amanda! Come here!"

-Amanda books it -

"Come back here! I just want to talk!"

-Amanda and other girl agree to meet after school at a parking lot. 50 people show up. They work out their differences without coming to blows, and people are disappointed-

-random loving person I may not even know comes up to me- "Hey, there's a rumor going around school that you're pregnant/on meth/blew a guy for McDonalds/have had five abortions."

-this continues long past mybhigh school graduation-

shame on an IGA posted:

Hey did you hear about that poo poo that went down with Larry last week? He found out his wife was fooling around with Chucky Pickerton while he was at the grinding wheel expo back July so he blowed that sumbitch up yesterday morning. Yeah, drew up the prints here at work, sent them out to the tool shop with a PO... yeah, yeah that rear end in a top hat got both of his bombs built on the company's time and our materials. Anyways, he put it under Charlie's car and left a radio to set it off on the side of the road in front of Chuck's momma's house to make sure she'd see it... Soon as they found the part numbers stamped on what was left sheriff went out there and handcuffed everybody in the drat toolroom for five hours til they could figure out what was goin on... I know it, drat government cost us almost 70k in downtime. And they found the other bomb on top of the hardware store where Staci worked before it went up... yeah I know your boy's been working there part time abd thank the lord he's okay but yknow it just don't seem right that slut getting to go home without a care in the world after she got our best engineer in jail and the only chainsaw repairman around here that was worth a drat dead.


*This is a true story

shame on an IGA posted:

shame on an IGA posted:

*Builds hoard of 10,000+ stolen guns over decades buying them from tweekers

*House is searched persuant to another case by town police who fail to notice they are tripping over literally thousands of guns

*months later is picked up by sheriffs dept on traffic warrant, deputy notices a gun which had been stolen from him

*so many guns are taken into evidence that they had to get the jail work gang to help load them into the 18 wheeler

*becomes national headline

*meanwhile an enormous scandal erupts when the town police chief is forced to resign while being investigated by state-level authorities for reasons unknown which turn out to be telling his officers they didn't see the pile of stolen guns

*brother is pitted against brother in the kind of high intensity battle that only low stakes local politics and academic turf wars can incite

*gun hoarder eventually pleads guilty to 12 felonies, is sentenced to time already served.

Nooner posted:

gently caress a few years back NPR had a thing on "walkin down the corn" and it was so drat depressing, like they had interview with some kid who's best friend died doing it and the kid being interviewed almost died when he jumped in to try and save his best friend and like he talked about how after they finally got his dead friend out of the silo after a day or so his body looked like a golf ball cause of allthe little indentations smashed intohis body from being packed under literal tons of corn it was hella sad