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*Builds house on a floodplain near a river controlled by an upstream dam, which is run by the government.* *Wants to shut down the government.* Fasdar fucked around with this message at 07:14 on Mar 27, 2017 |
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Mar 27, 2017 06:31
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Things I've heard growing up in a small town: "You know this town didn't have a whole lot of crime until those section 8 blacks moved into the town over" *70yo man starts beating his wife in public* "ah he's just like that, he's too old to actually do harm anyways" *50yo trucker routinely hitting on 18yo's and trying to touch them* store manager: but he's good for business he comes in every.day "You know why that town got that nickname? It's cause they known for cousin loving/looking like kentucky/got a lot of brown people in it (pick one)"
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Mar 27, 2017 06:42
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Axolotl posted:- only interests are guns and hunting -Buys Realtree ® Otterbox case for iPhone
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Mar 27, 2017 07:18
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Northern small towns: -takes neighbor to small claims court for tree with branch overhanging into yard -attends town council meetings every week -votes against sidewalks and street lights in town because they lower property values -vehemently opposes 150-unit affordable-housing complex, votes to approve 60-unit luxury condo complex on the site instead, site turns out to have massive amounts of soil/groundwater contamination due to formerly being a golf course -local cops are cracking down on high school kids getting hosed up on parents' prescription drugs
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Mar 27, 2017 07:24
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That is the saddest display of relics I have ever seen. At least the small towns here in Arizona have cool Native poo poo (Besh-ba-Gowah Archaeological Park is literally the only reason to stop in Globe).
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Mar 27, 2017 07:35
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Spends the weekend relaxing and grilling with the neighbors.
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Mar 27, 2017 10:30
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"The other day a farmer brought in an egg had 3 yolks in it. Was in the paper."
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Mar 27, 2017 23:12
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"And there I was in the Madison Hospital and nobody come to see me. Cousin Will never come, Aunt Bertha never come..."
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Mar 27, 2017 23:24
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-Consistently votes against my best interests because of emotional identity issues. -Consistently supports economic ideology that has resulted in my town's main street being abandoned and quality of life nosediving. -Demands government "do something" about current depressing local economic situation, but at the same time hates government and thinks they shouldn't do anything. -Rather continue to live in hopeless poverty so long as the blacks don't get any handouts either.
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Mar 27, 2017 23:33
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dreams of escaping small town fails miserably at achieving dreams moves back to small town gets depressed and starts drinking to dull pain kills self while cursing god
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Mar 28, 2017 00:34
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I live in a town with 1k people 
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Mar 28, 2017 01:05
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Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name, And they’re always glad you came; You want to be where you can see, Our troubles are all the same; You want to be where everybody knows your name.
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Mar 28, 2017 01:48
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I remember going back to visit my dad after I got out of the Marine Corps. He still looked like a tough son of a bitch, but there was this gentler side that came out when he talked to me. At first I thought he might have changed, until he screamed at mom. He wasn't acting better because of any kind of revelation from God, he's on his toes because his son survived multiple tours of duty in Vietnam. I think he saw me as a man now, but not in any kind of heartwarming way. I'm higher on the totem pole and if he even tries to raise a finger toward me he won't stand a chance. I don't like hurting people. Despite all the bullshit he put me threw growing up, the yelling, the lashing, even threatening me with a broken bottle. I don't want to harm him. I don't want revenge. I just have to get the hell out of this place and never look back. I know if I stayed here, the poison of the local culture could creep back in my veins. I'd end up like this poor excuse of a father before me. Rule over a family. That's not what I want. I want to be a human being. With a family that loves him. gently caress this place.
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Mar 28, 2017 02:35
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Kelp Me! posted:Northern small towns: Ah Bergen County.
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Mar 28, 2017 02:40
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Tonetta posted:Things I've heard growing up in a small town: did you ever look up crime statistics for your town to prove or disprove this?
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Mar 28, 2017 02:53
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Despite my town's economy having dried up 30 years ago and being a massive net tax drain on the region due to being totally economically and culturally irrelevant and rife with unemployment I still think it's cities that are the takers and small town americans like me are the lifeblood of the country and if we just cut taxes and handouts to those city folk we'd make america great again.
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Mar 28, 2017 05:17
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I want to go to Andy's, but it's too expensive. I can't pay $6 for an ice cream! It is awfully good, though. You know, when they filmed that movie here, Ben Affleck couldn't get enough of the stuff. He was there all the time. That and the restaurant by the airport. He ordered from there a lot, too. We need to take you down there sometime. They've got really good fish. I guess they're trying to bring back Brusker's downtown. I don't know why. It was already there for a few years and didn't make it, but the building hasn't had much to go in it since then. You'd think a microbrew would go over well here, but they just couldn't cut it. I think it's the building owner, personally. It's Jim Rowell, you know. He's in the paper all the time. He's not even from here. Just some guy with a lot of money from Memphis that keeps making big claims about what he's going to do in town. He keeps buying buildings and turning them into restaurants or shops but they never last more than a year. I think there's something shady going on. He's even been saying he'll renovate the old Marquand building but he's been saying that for ten years now. You just can't trust these city folk trying to come in and "revitalize" our downtown. We're going out to find your brother. He just called us sobbing and saying he needed help and he was on drugs. I think it's meth again. He got in a fight with Jessica again and just took off. He doesn't know where he is, just that he's out wandering in the woods somewhere, so we're going to go try and find him.
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Mar 28, 2017 07:08
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marsisol posted:Ah Bergen County. It's slightly scary that you know this, I didn't realize that poo poo was specific to this area. Or do you live here too?
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Mar 28, 2017 12:04
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:"Who wants to drive by the titty bar and shoot the guys standing outside with paintball guns?" Won't lie, this sounds fun.
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Mar 28, 2017 13:28
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**votes for zoning board officials who promise to preserve open space** **watches zoning board deny permits to local land baron who wants to convert farmland to warehouse and trucking hub for Amazon** **land baron threatens to build quarry and turkey poo poo lagoon instead** **watches zoning board approve building permits for Amazon hub**
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Mar 28, 2017 13:40
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Nice to meet you. So what high school did you go to? Really? My sister was 3 years behind you and my cousin played against you guys in the state championship game.
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Mar 28, 2017 14:10
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*Is 24* *Proposes to 16 (almost 17!) year old girlfriend at Christmas* *she isn't even pregnant* *entire family approves* *can't wait to tell the others in Youth Group*
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Mar 28, 2017 14:15
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*attends yearly parade and town carnival* *waits over an hour in line to get a bag of fresh kettle corn ("I heard this guy makes reeeeeaallly good kettle corn, man.")* *bag of kettle corn opens up and spills all over the Tilt-A-Whirl before you've had a chance to eat some* *waits over an hour in line to get a bag of fresh kettle corn* You Are A Werewolf fucked around with this message at 14:28 on Mar 28, 2017 |
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Mar 28, 2017 14:25
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*attends 50th high school reunion*
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Mar 28, 2017 14:29
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Yorkshire Pudding posted:Lavelle did pretty well against ours boys last week, 21-14. That Henderson boy s'got a good arm on him. Reminds me of Allen Rochester from when we were in high school. Remember him? What's he up to now? Last I heard he moved down to Oklahoma and was working at a machine processing plant. The crazy part is that it was a basketball game.
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Mar 28, 2017 14:34
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Do you remember Zachary Thompson? No? You played in little league together when you were 5 then never saw each other again. Well just wanted you to know his cousin passed away last night, colon cancer.
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Mar 28, 2017 14:44
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I grew up in a "Census Designated Place", like it's an area with too few people to even be considered a small town, with 481 people. The people from my mother's side and father's side of the family have known each other for years and know every bit of gossip about them. Apparently my grandfather's house was the site of the last public lynching in Virginia, go me
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Mar 28, 2017 14:47
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Posts an image macro on facebook
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Mar 28, 2017 15:02
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It's a shame how they ran coach off like that, school board and the police had had it out for him for quite a while, I think. I mean, I can't condone everything he did, but you know with the old lady stepping out on him the way she was it's kind of hard to blame him too much. All he did was kick the guy's rear end, any lesser man probably wouldn't have stopped there. Yeah, he was a great ballplayer. Washed out at Baylor I think mostly because of his "alternative lifestyle", you know. He was like that going back to highschool you know, him and his cousin. I don't really agree with that kind of thing, but it's really not anybody's business except theirs, you know?
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Mar 28, 2017 15:07
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*attends job fair at the new Cracker Barrel restaurant that was just built in the Wal Mart parking lot* *hopes this schedule will work with my existing shifts at Steak N Shake*
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Mar 28, 2017 15:08
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I'm heading down to the combination video rental/military surplus/U-Haul rental store, you need anything? *half the businesses have a piece of paper taped to the front door with a picture of a gun threatening death to shoplifters*
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Mar 28, 2017 15:11
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My barber shop has a sign on the door saying open carry welcome
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Mar 28, 2017 15:14
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-Moves to bigger city to get a real job, experiences minor culture shock but is temporary and ends up growing as a person. -Constantly brings up "in my small town back home" to friends and tells how much more friendly and slow paced life was there. -Goes back to small town, can't figure out if it's gotten worse or just noticing how terrible it always was but now it just seems depressing as poo poo. -City now feels like home.
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Mar 28, 2017 15:22
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-moves to big city to attend "Graphic Artist" program at for profit college- -parents are now out $5k for tuition, $1500 for a Mac Book Pro plus living expenses- -roommates do a lot to make her feel welcome, knowing she's never lived in big city- -thinks her roommates are all "bitches"- -makes parents and boyfriend drive in every weekend to pick her up and take her home because she misses them- -fails basic HTML course, drops out of the program, moves back home- -starts career as a booth babe for local car shows and swap meets- -gets job in retail at local cellphone/ISP business- -constantly complains about how there are no other jobs available- -has child to get year long paid maternity leave because  --goes back to job in retail at local cellphone/ISP business- -constantly complains about how there are no other jobs available- -has child to get year long paid maternity leave because -My niece everyone. And no, that isn't a copy and paste error.
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Mar 28, 2017 15:42
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Bonzo posted:-moves to big city to attend "Graphic Artist" program at for profit college- Goondolences friend
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Mar 28, 2017 15:43
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Bonzo posted:-moves to big city to attend "Graphic Artist" program at for profit college- Is she hot?
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Mar 28, 2017 15:46
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Bonzo posted:-moves to big city to attend "Graphic Artist" program at for profit college- What's her #
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Mar 28, 2017 15:48
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Hey Troy what are you up to this weekend? The ball-n-chain is heading to a church retreat. I got a case of Evan Williams and an old tire. We can watch it burn for days.
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Mar 28, 2017 15:50
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Sorry boys, she's taken and married to her high school sweetheart. Oh and her sweetheart graduated high school 5 years before her. They starting dating around her 16th birthday.
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Mar 28, 2017 15:52
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CITY FOLK: Hey kids let's go to the farmer's market! CITY KIDS: YEAAAAAAAA! COUNTRY FOLK: Hey kids let's go to the farmer's market! COUNTRY KIDS: NOOOOOOOOO!
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Mar 28, 2017 15:56
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