ITT we live in small town America

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT we live in small town America

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Smythe posted:

Here a pic from beautiful Running Springs, CA.

This is the easiest game of "Guess the Trump Voter" I've ever played.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 05:31

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 11:25

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Let me try.

Ok I'm gonna go into town, grab some things. Yeah milk, eggs, gas. Why do you need something from there? No I was just gonna go to Wal-Mart. I can if you need me to. Well Mrs. Johnson is a greeter there and she will ask in church if I don't turn up at least once before Saturday. I'll get beer too. Yes we are out. Because Bobby was here last night and we drank it. Not my fault, you were at Jannets for that baby shower; you could have got a drink there. Well too bad for her not having a drink, not your fault she got knocked up. Well that's what she gets for being a slut is all I'm sayin'. If her pappy was still alive they'd be married by now. I'm not EXACTLY like dad. Look I'm leaving now. Ok. Ok. And pasta? Ok. Ok. Yes. Love you too. Yes and some soup.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2017 07:58

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

*lives in a lonely world*

*catches the midnight train going anywhere*

# ¿ Mar 25, 2017 03:01

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Hello officer how can I help? State statures only require me to have the window down two inches to facilitate conversation and document exchange. I know my rights. I know my rights officer! I don't need a licence. I don't. Why have you stopped me? I don't need a licence. I don't. Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Am I being detained? No? Well I'd like to go please. Please move. Move. Move. I will go even if you keep standing there officer. Please I am a man of peace I wish no harm on anyone. Stop impeding my travel. Did you know you're impeding my travel? That's against the law. Then call your supervisor. They will tell you, now let me go. So I am being detained? Am I being detained officially officer? No I won't get out. No. Don't touch my car please. Don't touch it. I will submit an official complaint if you do. Call your supervisor. NO! DONT! HIT! THAT! WINDOW! DON'T! STOP! I DO NOT CONSENT. I DO NOT CONSENT. I DO NOT CONSENT.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2017 09:09

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

ballistics statistics posted:

These are my favorite youtube videos.

The smuggest of sovereign citizens, thinking they know the magic words to make all police run away. Then they get tased to gently caress while screaming "I want a supervisor!"

P. Barnes I love you!

P. Barnes is a hero to us all.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2017 10:23

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

WalletBeef posted:

*wins teh big ball game*
*gets engaged to highschool sweetheart*
*tries heroin for the first time*
*overdoses*

you forgot: *death is ruled as a typical junkie*

# ¿ Mar 25, 2017 13:53

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Bonzo posted:

-moves to big city to attend "Graphic Artist" program at for profit college-
-parents are now out $5k for tuition, $1500 for a Mac Book Pro plus living expenses-
-roommates do a lot to make her feel welcome, knowing she's never lived in big city-
-thinks her roommates are all "bitches"-
-makes parents and boyfriend drive in every weekend to pick her up and take her home because she misses them-
-fails basic HTML course, drops out of the program, moves back home-
-starts career as a booth babe for local car shows and swap meets-
-gets job in retail at local cellphone/ISP business-
-constantly complains about how there are no other jobs available-
-has child to get year long paid maternity leave because -
-goes back to job in retail at local cellphone/ISP business-
-constantly complains about how there are no other jobs available-
-has child to get year long paid maternity leave because -

My niece everyone. And no, that isn't a copy and paste error.

Goondolences friend

# ¿ Mar 28, 2017 15:43

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 11:25

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Pththya-lyi posted:

There are a TON of mystery novels about small-town amateur detectives (think Murder, She Wrote); often they have pet cats and/or a cutesy job or hobby. These books are catnip for middle-aged and elderly women:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cozy_mystery

Is Miss Marple a Cozy?

Edit: NVM I read the wikipedia article and it even has it as an example.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2017 01:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT we live in small town America