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I once sent a letter to Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien asking if we could improve Canada's weather by unleashing huge amounts of CFCs and basically destroying the ozone layer. I got a very nice reply that was signed by Chretien and written by I guess some Parliamentary science guy saying that uh no, this is probably not a great idea. But it's awesome that kids are interested in science!
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Mar 28, 2017 08:51
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Houle posted:Surprised no one said this yet. When I was really young I was afraid there was a monster waiting to kill me but it couldn't get me so long as my feet or arms were within the confines of the bed. I feel like this was my brain making sense of the whole keep my arms in the car while it was moving or I would lose it rule/reality. That and somehow blankets had this power too. Yeah this sort of thing is real common 
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Mar 28, 2017 09:44
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A cashier forgot to give my mom her card back. My mom said she hoped she'd get fired. I thought this meant the girl would be taken to the parking lot and set on fire and it scared me 
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Mar 28, 2017 12:01
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Grump posted:I forced my sister to take me to a park one time because I wanted to plant a stick because I thought it was going to grow into a tree. Some plants (most famously willows) can regenerate a completely new root and stem from a fallen branch.
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Mar 28, 2017 13:58
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Falukorv posted:Some plants (most famously willows) can regenerate a completely new root and stem from a fallen branch. yeah like weed
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Mar 28, 2017 14:01
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proof of concept posted:Yeah this sort of thing is real common Lol look at that goony kid Falukorv posted:Some plants (most famously willows) can regenerate a completely new root and stem from a fallen branch. I'm glad I didn't have this information as a child
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Mar 28, 2017 14:24
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Peanut Butler posted:I thought the word rear end meant penis Same here! I have no recollection of why I thought that or when my understanding changed, unfortunately.
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Mar 28, 2017 20:01
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Peanut Butler posted:I thought the word rear end meant penis whoa me too for me it was because "butt" was already slang for bottom so obviously "rear end" must be slang for something else it wasn't until an old guy talked about wiping his rear end that I figured out the truth
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Mar 28, 2017 20:05
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My wife's aunt used to do rape kits at a hospital, which meant that she was on-call for overtime whenever a call came in (usually in evenings or early mornings). She's a pretty open person, and never used euphemisms or couched her language around her kids. Her son's first grade teacher asked her if everything was OK at home, because her son said that his mom was out late at night doing "sexual salts" She had to start defining some terms for him
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Mar 28, 2017 21:13
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i thought bitch and bastard were gendered equivalents, and when i learned that a bitch was a female dog, i just assumed a bastard was a male dog. it was actually quite a while before i found out the actual meaning of bastard, like middle school i bet. it just seemed logical that if you'd insult a woman by calling her a bitch then you'd also insult a man by calling him a bastard.
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Mar 28, 2017 21:56
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Mustached5thGrader posted:A cashier forgot to give my mom her card back. My mom said she hoped she'd get fired. I thought this meant the girl would be taken to the parking lot and set on fire and it scared me your mom is a jerk
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Mar 28, 2017 21:58
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If I held an umbrella during strong winds or if I jumped off a building I could fly or at least drift gently down.
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Mar 29, 2017 03:02
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Debunk This! posted:If I held an umbrella during strong winds or if I jumped off a building I could fly or at least drift gently down. I jumped off my roof with a very large plastic bag. Turns out I was a very dumb but resilient kid.
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Mar 29, 2017 03:04
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Kid me thought that when a character had to die in a movie the person dying actually for reals died. Like the producers just went out and found some dude who was down with dying and hired him. Kid me had a really rough half a year trying to figure out how a dude who died in one movie suddenly could appear in a different movie.
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Mar 29, 2017 03:23
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Once my hamster died. My friend and I had a funeral and chucked him in the toilet. It turns out, he wasn't dead all the way. We pulled him out and I decided to do cpr on him. This involved wringing him out like a washcloth, blowing into his mouth with enough force to explode his lungs, then putting a hair dryer to him and essentially cooking him. He did not survive and probably died in the worst way possible. To this day, I do not understand why we used the hair dryer. I'll never know.
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Mar 29, 2017 03:37
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Mustached5thGrader posted:A cashier forgot to give my mom her card back. My mom said she hoped she'd get fired. I thought this meant the girl would be taken to the parking lot and set on fire and it scared me 
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Mar 29, 2017 04:06
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Oh, for some reason when I was four I thought "cable" was "canine." So upon observing a big cable bridge we crossed on the regular, I proudly announced "Wow, look at all those canines!" And of course no one knew what the hell.
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Mar 29, 2017 04:25
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Das Boo posted:Oh, for some reason when I was four I thought "cable" was "canine." So upon observing a big cable bridge we crossed on the regular, I proudly announced "Wow, look at all those canines!" And of course no one knew what the hell.
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Mar 29, 2017 04:35
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HAT FETISH posted:Around the same age I thought radio masts were rockets and every time I saw one while I was in the car with my parents I would count down from ten and shout BLAST OFF!!! and make exploding noises. Soon it became a rule that every time I did that it would mean early bed with no dinner. Didn't stop me. Aw. You count down them rockets, little Hat Fetish! 
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Mar 29, 2017 04:40
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I thought that drinking pop could keep a woman from getting pregnant. This came from me hearing my aunt tell my mom that she was able to get pregnant because she quit coke. I think I was twenty before I figured out that she wasn't drinking the coke.
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Mar 29, 2017 05:29
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Bumper Stickup posted:Kid me thought that when a character had to die in a movie the person dying actually for reals died. Like the producers just went out and found some dude who was down with dying and hired him. I thought that any stabbing or shooting was fatal. I was watching some pirate movie and a guy was being interrogated and stabbed in the arm. According to my dad, I had some choice words because the character didn't die and he had to explain how, you know, organs work.
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Mar 29, 2017 05:48
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Inzombiac posted:I thought that any stabbing or shooting was fatal. I was watching some pirate movie and a guy was being interrogated and stabbed in the arm. That reminds me that my brother and I got the idea that if you made somebody stand up and walk that they wouldn't die. Like, they got shot, and if you get to them fast enough and help them to their feet then they will magically not die. Pretty sure TV is to blame for that one.
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Mar 29, 2017 06:36
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I wanted to make a movie starring my dog as a kid, and had plans to connect his safety harness to a clothes line and then slide him down Keep in mind I would never hurt my dog, I thought this would be a fun way for him to be a movie star. Fortunately I was talked out of it at the last second. Parallax Scroll posted:don't give up on your dreams op make the stick 300 years from now when The Stick becomes the first hardline interplanetary network connection, the OP will be herald as a visionary
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Mar 29, 2017 07:43
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I thought if you left a garden hose running it'd eventually flood the world and I freaked out about it. Also if you got fat enough you'd blow up into a bunch of babies. Instead you get diabetes and heart attacks.
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Mar 29, 2017 08:14
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I thought Motown was modern music in the early 90's. My mom would play it every morning when we dropped my sisters off at school and I just thought that's what everybody listened to. When I was 6 or 7, she mentioned she didn't like much music from the early 90's. I went from confusion to realization to embarrassment silently, and in the span of 5 seconds.
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Mar 29, 2017 09:40
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I thought I could build a spaceship of cardboard. To breathe I'd simply have a pot plant that would provide oxygen. And then I'd have fantasies of piloting it to school. I could have taken my spaceship anywhere but the extent of my fantasies was to drive to school.
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Mar 29, 2017 09:57
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food court bailiff posted:whoa me too Tomato Burger posted:Same here! I have no recollection of why I thought that or when my understanding changed, unfortunately. yeah exactly there was already "butt" its probably some confusing wordage in a 198X/9X TV episode I'd seen a billion times it also adds a little punch to calling someone "a horse's rear end"
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Mar 29, 2017 10:04
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Gatekeeper posted:i thought bitch and bastard were gendered equivalents, and when i learned that a bitch was a female dog, i just assumed a bastard was a male dog. it was actually quite a while before i found out the actual meaning of bastard, like middle school i bet. it just seemed logical that if you'd insult a woman by calling her a bitch then you'd also insult a man by calling him a bastard. I also believed this. No idea why -- I guess it just seemed like the words were a set?
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Mar 29, 2017 10:26
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i loved watching that old black and white short that tim burton did called frankenweenie (i think he did a feature length animated remake not long ago but this was like a live action student film he did or something) where this kids dog gets hit by a car and he frankensteins it back to life with lightning and the doggy was cute as heck, i loved this movie so much when i was five or six. we had a cat that liked catching moles and mice and poo poo and killing them and leaving them near our back porch. i hated this because they were cute lil guys especially the moles, they had adorable tiny faces and i wished i could save them somehow. so i took my desk lamp outside, took the lightbulb out and plugged it in and picked up the dead mole with some tongs and put it in the socket. right as i was about to turn on the lamp my dad pulled into the driveway and got out and asked me what i was doing. he got very angry and took away the lamp and threw the mole out in the yard somewhere. over the next few weeks he and my mom caught me several times trying to sneak outside with some different lamp from the house, bulb removed and ready to shock a rodent and yank it back from god's greedy clutches. at first they would just get angry but after a few times of catching me they started to actually seem really upset and worried so i gave up and let the matter go but i knew deep down that if they had just hosed off and minded their own business i would have frankensteined the whole lot of those dead cuties Antivehicular posted:I also believed this. No idea why -- I guess it just seemed like the words were a set? i've wondered why i paired them like that for a long time and the best i can come up with is that i seem to remember my dad muttering "son of a bitch n' bastard" sometimes when he was angry
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Mar 29, 2017 15:29
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Gatekeeper posted:i knew deep down that if they had just hosed off and minded their own business i would have frankensteined the whole lot of those dead cuties This would be my inclination, to let the kid try, fail to revive a dead mole, then move on to the next project. Similar to how I thought I could lay down on a skateboard and street luge down the hill across the street. My dad stood in the garage beer in hand and watched me trudge up the hill, get speed wobbles and eat poo poo at the foot of our driveway, then limp back to the garage where he cleaned me off
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Mar 29, 2017 15:54
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I thought dicks were modular and screwed off. they don't. I also tried to push it into my body to see what it would be like that didn't work either. unpleasantly turgid fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Mar 29, 2017 |
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Mar 29, 2017 16:05
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Lampsacus posted:I thought I could build a spaceship of cardboard. To breathe I'd simply have a pot plant that would provide oxygen. i also had plans to build a space ship. i had an old star trek book with "blueprints" so i assumed all i would need to do is put it togeather
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Mar 29, 2017 16:25
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Yeah I collected cardboard under my bed because I was going to build an x wing. This went on for years
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Mar 29, 2017 16:33
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i was a little smarter than that, instead of cardboard I would collect the internal circuitry from broken clock radios and black & white TVs. i needed these components to make the "warp drive"
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Mar 29, 2017 16:38
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when i was a kid i used to play "cheese factory" in the stream near my house which consisted of just taking a bunch of probably insanely toxic yellow styrofoam insulation and smashing it up and letting it float down the stream
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Mar 29, 2017 16:42
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I was so convinced that I could build my own directed energy weapon that when I was 9 I tore my dad's Discman apart to acquire the LASER that would power my death-ray. Being that this was 1995, portable CD players were still kind of expensive and my dad was not very happy. I even drew my own schematics. I remember incorporating a liquid cooling system and fan because, obviously, my super powerful blaster would run hot. Then I got distracted by riding my bike or something. Edit: I also took apart the VCR and the blender. I'm surprised my parents didn't leave me on the side of the road somewhere. Mental Hospitality fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Mar 29, 2017 |
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Mar 29, 2017 16:50
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Lampsacus posted:I thought I could build a spaceship of cardboard. To breathe I'd simply have a pot plant that would provide oxygen. pot plants have always been involved when i try to build spaceships too
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Mar 29, 2017 17:24
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I was super sure that there was treasure buried on our half acre of property, if only dad would let me dig a huge hole in the middle of it!
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Mar 30, 2017 03:04
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Jesus you people were some dumbshit kids. My parents would have knocked the living poo poo out of me if I'd ever done or said anything half as stupid as what you guys are posting here. I think the worst I ever did was ask if dogs came from a factory and earned myself a smack that must've been heard across the neighborhood. My ear was burning for a good half hour but I learned not to ask stupid questions.
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Mar 30, 2017 03:28
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KomodoWagon posted:Jesus you people were some dumbshit kids. My parents would have knocked the living poo poo out of me if I'd ever done or said anything half as stupid as what you guys are posting here. I think the worst I ever did was ask if dogs came from a factory and earned myself a smack that must've been heard across the neighborhood. My ear was burning for a good half hour but I learned not to ask stupid questions. Turn on your parents.
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Mar 30, 2017 03:28
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