Idiot ideas you had when you were a kid

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Idiot ideas you had when you were a kid

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

i thought vampire teeth had holes in them and they sucked blood up through their teeth like lil sharp pointy straws

i have since learned that they just bite your flesh open with their pointy fangs and then slurp the blood with their mouth and swallow it like normal

# ¿ Mar 25, 2017 06:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 17:50

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

deep dish peat moss posted:

I used to think feet were just weird hands that you walk on, but now I realize that hands are just weird feet that you grasp with.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2017 06:23

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Ice Blue Mink posted:

It could be that vampires' fangs are awfully similar visually to snake fangs which do work that way (but in reverse) for pumping venom into their victims. Not that crazy if you ask me!

i think it's partially this and partially because the marks of a vampire attack are just those two lil round holes and not a whole big mouth-mark so imagining the blood bein sucked up through those two bite holes kinda fits with reverse snaketeeth rather than a whole big mouth suckin through two teeny bite holes

# ¿ Mar 25, 2017 23:01

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

insulated staircase posted:

heard "the aids virus cannot survive being exposed to oxygen"

child me: let's inject them all with oxygen

terrible

lol this reminds me of when my grandfather showed me this disinfecting cleaner he got that was supposed to be the strongest poo poo out there, he told me "this stuff is so powerful it can even kill the aids virus!" and ten year old me, having just learned about condoms in sex ed at school, could not understand why all condoms weren't covered in this disinfectant

why not put super bleach on our dicks???

# ¿ Mar 26, 2017 09:04

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

i thought bitch and bastard were gendered equivalents, and when i learned that a bitch was a female dog, i just assumed a bastard was a male dog. it was actually quite a while before i found out the actual meaning of bastard, like middle school i bet. it just seemed logical that if you'd insult a woman by calling her a bitch then you'd also insult a man by calling him a bastard.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2017 21:56

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

i loved watching that old black and white short that tim burton did called frankenweenie (i think he did a feature length animated remake not long ago but this was like a live action student film he did or something) where this kids dog gets hit by a car and he frankensteins it back to life with lightning and the doggy was cute as heck, i loved this movie so much when i was five or six.

we had a cat that liked catching moles and mice and poo poo and killing them and leaving them near our back porch. i hated this because they were cute lil guys especially the moles, they had adorable tiny faces and i wished i could save them somehow.

so i took my desk lamp outside, took the lightbulb out and plugged it in and picked up the dead mole with some tongs and put it in the socket.

right as i was about to turn on the lamp my dad pulled into the driveway and got out and asked me what i was doing. he got very angry and took away the lamp and threw the mole out in the yard somewhere.

over the next few weeks he and my mom caught me several times trying to sneak outside with some different lamp from the house, bulb removed and ready to shock a rodent and yank it back from god's greedy clutches. at first they would just get angry but after a few times of catching me they started to actually seem really upset and worried so i gave up and let the matter go but i knew deep down that if they had just hosed off and minded their own business i would have frankensteined the whole lot of those dead cuties

Antivehicular posted:

I also believed this. No idea why -- I guess it just seemed like the words were a set?

i've wondered why i paired them like that for a long time and the best i can come up with is that i seem to remember my dad muttering "son of a bitch n' bastard" sometimes when he was angry

# ¿ Mar 29, 2017 15:29

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 17:50

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Lampsacus posted:

I thought I could build a spaceship of cardboard. To breathe I'd simply have a pot plant that would provide oxygen.
And then I'd have fantasies of piloting it to school. I could have taken my spaceship anywhere but the extent of my fantasies was to drive to school.

pot plants have always been involved when i try to build spaceships too

# ¿ Mar 29, 2017 17:24

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Idiot ideas you had when you were a kid