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sex is like pizza: the enjoyability of a pineapple topping depends entirely on the other ingredients |
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Mar 24, 2017 14:09
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 22:05 |
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bad sex guy: learns sex moves at dojo run by mean ex-special forces guy good sex guy: learns sex moves one-on-one as personal slave of maverick retired sex expert, who teaches unusual long-shot technique that is pivotal in winning the love interest's heart at . . . the . . . uh, sex competition?
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Mar 24, 2017 14:14
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Luvcow posted:she beckons me to come to bed, her sultry eyes and naked from enticing me, i approach with one hand held behind my back. as i near her i reveal my hidden surprise, a pineapple. her breath quickens and her eyes dilate as she reaches beneath her pillow, her shaking hands fumbling with an unseen object. my heart stops, fear gripping me as i wait for the reveal, wondering if we are truly compatible.... her hands slowly pull something from the dark, it glistens in the faint light, i can breath again, happiness sweeps over me, its a honey ham. |
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Mar 24, 2017 14:19
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bad s*x guy: kenny g good s*x guy: branford marsalis and I'm not talking about sax |
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Mar 24, 2017 18:38
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I am not a good sex guy, I am a great sex guy. I have long surpassed simple binary, trinary, or even human-spectrum gender roles. I'm on a whole new level, the fungus level. did you know they have 36,000 sexes? the fungus kama sutra is mind-bogglingly big and I am mastering it. I am crushing it. I am not sure I have time to sex you, but come by in case I can fit you in, and please bring some perky young chanterelles.
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Mar 24, 2017 18:47
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 22:05 |
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it is naive in the extreme to think that one individual can be "good" or "bad" at sex. I am taking the smarter route, I am crowdsourcing my sexhaving. when you are entering captchas, do you really think you are helping to digitize old books? no, you're providing input into my sexing, to make it the good kind.
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Mar 24, 2017 19:50
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