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Charles Bukowski posted:Tyler Durden: "I want you to hit me as hard as you can." Lmfao
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Mar 30, 2017 13:11
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*smash cut to Tyler Durden's funeral*
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Mar 30, 2017 13:15
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net cafe scandal posted:*smash cut to Tyler Durden's funeral*
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Mar 30, 2017 13:29
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*Velociraptor blindly runs into claymore I set up on my flank* Heh, you didn't think I'd fall for THAT did you? *shoots other raptor*
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Mar 30, 2017 13:53
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[shaking my head and chuckling as the cops carry Pee Wee Herman away from the movie theatre before stealthily blowing my load into a carefully concealed tissue packet inside my comically oversized trenchcoat]
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Mar 30, 2017 14:23
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Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill— [Morpheus opens his hand, and reacts with a start when he realizes it is empty] huh? How did... Me: [popping red pill into my mouth] Morpheus, you have a lot to learn [laughs]
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Mar 30, 2017 14:38
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no they will not posted:Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill— [Morpheus opens his hand, and reacts with a start when he realizes it is empty] huh? How did... Lmao
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Mar 30, 2017 14:40
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Hah, that's a good one! -takes off sunglasses to put them back on-
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Mar 30, 2017 14:41
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*Completes chalkboard math problem as Matt Damon walks up with his mop* Me: Heh, how do you like them apples?
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Mar 30, 2017 14:41
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no they will not posted:Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill— [Morpheus opens his hand, and reacts with a start when he realizes it is empty] huh? How did...
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Mar 30, 2017 14:43
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no they will not posted:Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill— [Morpheus opens his hand, and reacts with a start when he realizes it is empty] huh? How did...
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Mar 30, 2017 15:39
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In Training posted:[shaking my head and chuckling as the cops carry Pee Wee Herman away from the movie theatre before stealthily blowing my load into a carefully concealed tissue packet inside my comically oversized trenchcoat] Lmao
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Mar 30, 2017 15:40
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Arnold: "If it bleeds, we can kill it." Me, holding a severed Predator head: "Way ahead of you, Gov."
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Mar 30, 2017 15:41
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In Training posted:[shaking my head and chuckling as the cops carry Pee Wee Herman away from the movie theatre before stealthily blowing my load into a carefully concealed tissue packet inside my comically oversized trenchcoat] Jesus lmao
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Mar 30, 2017 16:12
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*simply walks into Mordor*
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Mar 30, 2017 16:46
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Lumpy the Cook posted:*simply walks into Mordor* LOL
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Mar 30, 2017 17:30
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Terminator: I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle Genius IT guy: oh GOD are they still making Cyberdyne Systems Series 800 Resistance Infiltrator Model-101 Version 2s? Jesus Christ this company is backwards.
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Mar 30, 2017 17:32
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Black Baby Goku posted:Terminator: I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: an island of chill and magic in a sea of madness. > Cool Crew Chat Central > The Cyberdyne SKYNET Mock Thread, Year 5: The T-1000 Has The Wrong Kind Of Mercury Polyalloy Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7... Last
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Mar 30, 2017 17:49
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ED-209: you have five seconds to comply. Me: I'll only need one.
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Mar 30, 2017 17:51
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Blake: as you all know, first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. Me: excuse me... I actually work in the IT department and as a result make a very decent salary with no need for the pressure of sales, and actually I have technical knowledge which far exceeds yours. If I wanted something as childish as a Cadillac, I could easily afford one. But I'm mostly into drones these days. Blake: My mistake sir. Could you please direct me to the sales floor?
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Mar 30, 2017 17:58
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I love you.
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Mar 30, 2017 17:59
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Work Friend Keven posted:Blake: as you all know, first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. Lmfao
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Mar 30, 2017 18:00
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Work Friend Keven posted:ED-209: you have five seconds to comply.
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Mar 30, 2017 18:09
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Princess Leia: I love you! Han Solo: I know. Me, Keven: wow, that was really disrespectful. As a male ally, I feel that women should be treated with respect and we should listen to and aknowlege their feelings and opinions. Also, as an aside, I know the force and can jump even higher than Luke can.
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Mar 30, 2017 18:11
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Who watches the watchmen? Me [watching the movie on my big tv] Me dumbass.
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Mar 30, 2017 18:16
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Lumpy the Cook posted:The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: an island of chill and magic in a sea of madness. > Cool Crew Chat Central > The Cyberdyne SKYNET Mock Thread, Year 5: The T-1000 Has The Wrong Kind Of Mercury Polyalloy
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Mar 30, 2017 18:17
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[Beats the Space Jam team easily, helping out the aliens] Oh you mad huh?
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Mar 30, 2017 18:18
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[Using advanced software I personally developed to guarantee the Angels don't win their division, angels playing the outfield or otherwise]
Black Baby Goku fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Mar 30, 2017 |
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Mar 30, 2017 18:19
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The Joker: Hrnnnnn do you want to see a magic trick? Me: no. The Joker: I'm going to make this p- Me: I said no, dork. The Joker: (licking his lips like a dumbass)
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Mar 30, 2017 18:23
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Joker: I'm going to make this pencil disappear.. Me: *fires several perfectly aimed shots from my concealed carry, reducing the pencil to splinters* You really are a joker.
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Mar 30, 2017 18:27
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ANTON CHIGURH slowly raises the cattle gun to KEVEN's head. Keven is afraid, placid. The gun moves upwards and rests, gently, in the center of his forehead. CUT TO: Reverse shot. Now Antons face fills the frame. A matching cattle gun rests against his forehead, as well. The normally unflappable Anton's eye twitches. CUT TO: Back to Keven. The cattle gun against his forehead trembles slightly. He SMIRKS. Keven: Alright pal. Let's dance.
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Mar 30, 2017 18:30
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Lmfao
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Mar 30, 2017 18:57
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*camera dramatically flickers between three sets of eyes, then over to a pair of aviator sunglasses under a wide-brimmed fedora* Me: I know I'm good, so what does that make you jokers? Bad, ugly...and dead.
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Mar 30, 2017 19:29
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Witch King of Angmar: No mortal man can defeat me! Me: Beast mode.... Activate.
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Mar 30, 2017 19:31
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Aidan Gillen: You kids wouldn't last one day in the Scorch. Me: Make that a month.
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Mar 30, 2017 19:35
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Lumpy the Cook posted:*simply walks into Mordor* Ahaha
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Mar 30, 2017 20:04
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Frank: What kinda beer do you like? Jeffrey, quiet: Heineken... Frank: HEINEKEN!? gently caress that poo poo! Pabst! Blue Ribbon! Me: Uck. I actually brew my own chocolate stout in my garage... when my Ferrari's not taking up all my work space. Frank: Goddamn you're one suave fucker.
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Mar 31, 2017 07:57
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Lumpy the Cook posted:*simply walks into Mordor* Brevity IS wit. 
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Mar 31, 2017 09:29
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[I shake my head ruefully as The Cloverfield Monster struggles to untangle itself from a set of powerlines. The guy with the camera tries to start filming, but I smack it out of his hand.] Me: the quality of your footage would be worse than nothing. I have a much nicer camera that I use in my spare time, but I left it at home.
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Mar 31, 2017 10:53
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 10:18 |
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[woodward and bernstein furiously bang on their typewriters. The apartment is littered with news cutouts, scrunched up pieces of paper and cigarette butts. I saunter in and slap a photograph of Richard Nixon on the table.] Me: It was him, you idiots. He did it.
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Mar 31, 2017 11:01
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