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vanisher

Holy bananas I just realized I have like... 4 or 5 of those loopy things on my keyring and I have no idea how I acquired them or why I have so many

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vanisher

Update: I attempted to wrestle them off and have injured my thumbnail. I've asked my friends and they ALSO have too many of them, and no idea where they came from

Manifisto


they are called split rings and I once had to buy a packet of 3 of them from a hardware store because I did not have enough of them

let that sink in

I did not have enough split rings and actually spent money to acquire more

I have no idea how the cosmic equilibrium came to be so unbalanced

is there a god of split rings? did I perhaps anger him/her?

vanisher

They must be called split rings because whenever you try and wrestle them off you have to do a 2v2 match like in WWFwhere it's like four dudes but instead of dudes it's your fingernails and a screwdriver fighting each side desperately trying to free a key loose

Manifisto


vanisher posted:

They must be called split rings because whenever you try and wrestle them off you have to do a 2v2 match like in WWFwhere it's like four dudes but instead of dudes it's your fingernails and a screwdriver fighting each side desperately trying to free a key loose

I would not have expected it, but Amazon sells a solution to your highly specific problem

https://www.amazon.com/Split-Pliers-Opening-Jewelry-Tackle/dp/B00G9CJJGE

actually you have a choice of manufacturers, colors, and sizes

I feel like these should be available to the general public at no charge, maybe they could be chained to mailboxes or something

FutonForensic

you've put your keys on a chinese ring puzzle. give your keys to a talented youth and have them solve the puzzle. unlock the secret to the Emperor's hidden treasure


FactsAreUseless

Same, but dicks.

edit: Not dicks on my keyring, dicks on me

edit 2: They're my dicks

edit 3: I mean part of my body, not just that I own them

edit 4: By "part of my body" I don't mean "other dicks that are inside me"

edit 5: You know what? Screw this. I don't have to explain myself to you

FutonForensic

you've put your dicks on a chinese dick puzzle. give your dicks to a talented youth consenting adult and have them solve the puzzle. unlock the secret to the Emperor's hidden dick


FluffieDuckie

Manifisto posted:

I would not have expected it, but Amazon sells a solution to your highly specific problem

https://www.amazon.com/Split-Pliers-Opening-Jewelry-Tackle/dp/B00G9CJJGE

actually you have a choice of manufacturers, colors, and sizes

I feel like these should be available to the general public at no charge, maybe they could be chained to mailboxes or something

i actually used to own one of these for putting id tags on rescue dogs. it has since disappeared. perhaps stolen by the god of split rings sensing i had to much power


Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

FactsAreUseless

FluffieDuckie posted:

i actually used to own one of these for putting id tags on rescue dogs. it has since disappeared. perhaps stolen by the god of split rings sensing i had to much power
Your dogs, or did you just sneak into people's yards at night?

FluffieDuckie

FactsAreUseless posted:

Your dogs, or did you just sneak into people's yards at night?

you joke, but we have a neighbor who refuses to put a collar and tags on her dog who constantly runs around the neighborhood. my daughter and i discussed returning it next time with a new shiny collar and ID tag

we haven't had the balls to do it yet


Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

FluffieDuckie

of course that whole plan is out the window now that i can't find my split ring installer tool


Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

Putty

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
lifehack: you can open up loop rings easier with a piece of paper

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
still working on my loop ring rpg

Gross Dude

Gross Dude
Hey OP I want you to know I empathize with you 120 pergross. Just this week I realized that I had 2, so I took one off. BUT! Now I don'tn know what to with this loose extra ring I have. THrowing it away would be a waste. OP, help me, what did you do with the e xtra rings.

Piso Mojado

i have a ring for every car ive killed

FactsAreUseless

Piso Mojado posted:

i have a ring for every car ive killed
Still no ring, huh? That's tough.

vanisher

Gross Dude posted:

Hey OP I want you to know I empathize with you 120 pergross. Just this week I realized that I had 2, so I took one off. BUT! Now I don'tn know what to with this loose extra ring I have. THrowing it away would be a waste. OP, help me, what did you do with the e xtra rings.

I mean they are a little to big to use as finger rings, and removing them is dangerous. I'm probably going to have to move and get a new car so I can discard all my keys and rings at once, then just start fresh.

If you have one of those tool things you can prank your friend and add it to their keys when they aren't looking lol



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

Space Taxi
Do what I do. I keep all my keys loose in a stylish leather pouch and every morning when I leave the house I dump them out on the ground in front of my car and try each one. It's an entertaining game that starts my day.

Some of the neighbor's teenage kids run in and snatch a few keys here and there but I'm sure they'll return them soon. I like to think of it as a community building game I'm happy to be part of.

I'm sure they'll return my wife's car any day now.

FactsAreUseless

Do what I do. I have millions upon millions of doors and I run endlessly through the hallways trying desperately to open one of them, just one of them, and I can hear the sound of a girl laughing, and I think I knew her when I was a child.

little munchkin
pretty much all the time there's an "in progress" key on my keychain on account of how many loops there are and how much time it takes to get the key around them all

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Space Taxi
Keys are actually prophylactics for rings. If you don't keep at least one key on a ring, it will multiply.

alnilam

I have split rings in a chain long enough to stretch from my front door to wherever I'm going so that i don't get lost

girl dick energy

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
i gave all my split rings away to homeless orphans who had neither keys nor things to unlock with those keys

maybe one day if they work hard and pull themselves up by their bootstraps theyll be able to retire and get a nice pleather keychain from the local soccer team

Fuck My Ass

Putty posted:

lifehack: you can open up loop rings easier with a piece of paper

life hack: u can open loop rings easier using your finger.




Thank you, very nice I like. For the insanely win sig.

Matoi Ryuko


if you lose all your rings you have to start the whole level over, or just go back to a checkpoint if you've already passed one.

Senior Management



I wear belts. Not just one at a time but many belts. All at once. Every part of my body is adorned with belts. You may have seen me before and thought "wow that guy sure has a lot of belts."

:jerry:

Senior Management



FactsAreUseless posted:

Same, but dicks.

edit: Not dicks on my keyring, dicks on me

edit 2: They're my dicks

edit 3: I mean part of my body, not just that I own them

edit 4: By "part of my body" I don't mean "other dicks that are inside me"

edit 5: You know what? Screw this. I don't have to explain myself to you

Every time that admin bans a poster, he grows another dick. We do not know if they are stolen from the banned user in some sort of grim harvest. We only know that soon they will form an endless sea encompassing the admin.

:jerry:

vanisher

gently caress My rear end posted:

life hack: u can open loop rings easier using your finger.

pretty sure they make these to help with split ring injuries



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

Robot Made of Meat

vanisher posted:

pretty sure they make these to help with split ring injuries



Note her bloody fingertips, no doubt resulting from foolishly attempting to use her hands to perform a minor task.


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

girl dick energy

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Vynar posted:

I wear belts. Not just one at a time but many belts. All at once. Every part of my body is adorned with belts. You may have seen me before and thought "wow that guy sure has a lot of belts."
I love your work in Final Fantasy.

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Senior Management



PMush Perfect posted:

I love your work in Final Fantasy.

Thanks! I was worried that I did not wear enough belts for that shoot but people seemed to like it.

:jerry:

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