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So goons there's this college class I'm in even though I'm old because I spent several years being sick in the head and there's this girl I sit next to and I think she isn't afraid of me at all. We have pleasant conversation about stuff and after I say something like "I hope you enjoy that weekend trip you mentioned," she'll say something like "Oh, thanks," and then smile at me when I glance at her from across the room right before I leave. This all seems very positive and it needs to stop. Another female that spoke to me in another class came to regret it within the hour, as God intended. I know I haven't lost my touch. This must be an unusually resilient case, and requires the, so to speak, "big guns." Advise me on my options, and tell me if what I've brainstormed so far has merit: 1. Talk about the time a girl had me banned from her workplace because I went there every day she worked hoping to bother her. I'm not sure how I would broach this one. 2. She's mentioned that she owns a dog. I could ask about it, then bring up my own violent, disagreeable dog that has to be muzzled and drugged to go to the vet and slip in the fact that I haven't had visitors to my house in 7 years. 3. "Accidentally" show her a My Little Pony background on my phone while attempting to show her a photo of my dog. Is there anything worse than ponies now? I haven't kept up. I know I could always go for anime but I don't know if the young'uns are learning why anime should worry them anymore. 4. She was excited to hear about Trump getting into hot(ter) water over some FBI Russia thing and I am a racist. Should I just say I am a racist?
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Mar 30, 2017 03:30
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| # ? May 4, 2024 07:25 |
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a girl has no name
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Mar 30, 2017 03:31
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Self-sabatage is a helluva drug
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Mar 30, 2017 03:34
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say you are two racists
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Mar 30, 2017 03:34
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ArgumentatumE.C.T. posted:So goons there's this college class I'm in even though I'm old FYI this is no barrier to getting laid in college and can actually improve your odds if you aren't a weird goon
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Mar 30, 2017 03:35
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Wear a full pony suit to class and while you are at it get a face tattoo
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Mar 30, 2017 03:37
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ElectricSheep posted:FYI this is no barrier to getting laid in college and can actually improve your odds if you aren't a weird goon being an older person in college trying to get laid by the other students makes you a weird goon
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Mar 30, 2017 03:58
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thathonkey posted:being an older person in college trying to get laid by the other students makes you a weird goon A lot of them will have daddy issues though, which is only amplified by copious alcohol use.
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Mar 30, 2017 04:01
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make her read this thread ftw
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Mar 30, 2017 04:07
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the reason she is so comfortable around you is because she sees you as a father surrogate and does not even remotely in any way think of you as a sexual being. sorry.
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Mar 30, 2017 04:07
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wait wait wait i didnt actually read the thread before. i applaud your commitment to self-sabotage, keep up the good work and remember that the sweet release of death is inevitable
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Mar 30, 2017 04:10
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Ask her her forums name.
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Mar 30, 2017 04:10
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its really simple op but stop showering and grooming entirely until you are a walkin fount of filth anf everyone in your immediate area will recoil @ ur presence in disgust this is rookie poo poo cmon now
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Mar 30, 2017 04:11
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Tolkien minority posted:its really simple op but stop showering and grooming entirely until you are a walkin fount of filth anf everyone in your immediate area will recoil @ ur presence in disgust this is rookie poo poo cmon now Women do love a something they can "fix".
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Mar 30, 2017 04:13
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I hear if you bag a lady you never have to gently caress your hand again. Unless you're a sick freak who wants to.
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Mar 30, 2017 04:15
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Tolkien minority posted:its really simple op but stop showering and grooming entirely until you are a walkin fount of filth anf everyone in your immediate area will recoil @ ur presence in disgust this is rookie poo poo cmon now that makes sleeping uncomfortab;e though and i like to sleep most comfortably i like to wear earplugs so my tinnitus can lull me off to dreamland while i hold my pillow tight and kiss it and whisper "Nick Wilde from the movie Zootopia, I'm so glad you married me, Judy Hopps, the rabbit that is also from the movie Zootopia." in this story i am the rabbit Would this story about the rabbit also work? I dont know how that would come up, though. It has to seem natural, like im just creepy and/or gross by accident. I mean I could always just like stand too close to her and pick my nose but i have more respect for the craft than that
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Mar 30, 2017 04:26
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just be raelly angry randomly
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Mar 30, 2017 04:29
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Tell her she has your mother's feet.
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Mar 30, 2017 04:29
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phasmid posted:Tell her she has your mother's feet. This seems like it would just be a turn off, and not something that would give her cause to warn others not to be alone with me
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Mar 30, 2017 04:31
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just dont wear deoderant
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Mar 30, 2017 04:34
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thathonkey posted:being an older person in college trying to get laid by the other students makes you a weird goon haha yeah what kind of weirdo would wanna gently caress a college chick, just fuckin crazy man haha
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Mar 30, 2017 04:35
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ElectricSheep posted:FYI this is no barrier to getting laid in college and can actually improve your odds if you aren't a weird goon He's 63 for christs sake.
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Mar 30, 2017 04:36
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scrubs season six posted:He's 63 for christs sake. Are they both Happy?
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Mar 30, 2017 04:37
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Next time you sit down in class, wait for the lecture to start, then pull your dick and balls out Wait until she notices, but act casual
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Mar 30, 2017 04:46
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Ask her about her favorite RPG and then explain to her what them role playing games are.
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Mar 30, 2017 17:23
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Mar 30, 2017 17:40
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poo poo in your pants
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Mar 30, 2017 17:45
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if shes a fat girl start complimenting her skin and start trying to take her measurements
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Mar 30, 2017 17:51
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tell her all about the forums and show her your bad posts (all of them)
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Mar 30, 2017 17:51
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Tell her you prefer the prequels over the original trilogy... wait, how young is she?  ABORT ABORT ABORT
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Mar 30, 2017 17:58
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Add "m'lady" to the end of every sentence you say to her. Always bring up your opinions on chivalry. Hold doors open when shes around you just in case she might walk through it later. Frequently tip your hat at her even if you're not wearing a hat.
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Mar 30, 2017 18:01
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Lmbo
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Mar 30, 2017 18:55
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Just stop attending class, idiot!!
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Mar 30, 2017 19:20
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ask her what she thinks about doobie's doghouse. if she doesn't understand what you're talking about then cut off any future communication with her
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Mar 30, 2017 19:37
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Rub your hands together like a fly and then fart. A lot.
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Mar 30, 2017 19:41
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tell her all about the Something Awful forums. just everything you know about it off the top of your head
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Mar 30, 2017 19:49
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ElectricSheep posted:FYI this is no barrier to getting laid in college and can actually improve your odds if you aren't a weird goon The man speaks the truth, I've been working at a large university for 17 years now and it's a lot easier to get laid being older. You don't have to put on an act because you're not really competing with anyone, just wait for the girl that likes older guys to come over and talk to you.
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Mar 30, 2017 19:56
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OP what is the appeal of having a vicious dog and no visitors, having a dog that can't behave around people seems like the lamest lifestyle feature imo
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Mar 30, 2017 19:55
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introduce her to your wacky uncle bill cosby
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Mar 30, 2017 19:56
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| # ? May 4, 2024 07:25 |
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OP do everything in your power to sabotage yourself
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Mar 30, 2017 19:57
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