ArgumentatumE.C.T. posted:

So goons there's this college class I'm in even though I'm old because I spent several years being sick in the head and there's this girl I sit next to and I think she isn't afraid of me at all. We have pleasant conversation about stuff and after I say something like "I hope you enjoy that weekend trip you mentioned," she'll say something like "Oh, thanks," and then smile at me when I glance at her from across the room right before I leave. This all seems very positive and it needs to stop. Another female that spoke to me in another class came to regret it within the hour, as God intended. I know I haven't lost my touch. This must be an unusually resilient case, and requires the, so to speak, "big guns." Advise me on my options, and tell me if what I've brainstormed so far has merit:

1. Talk about the time a girl had me banned from her workplace because I went there every day she worked hoping to bother her. I'm not sure how I would broach this one.
2. She's mentioned that she owns a dog. I could ask about it, then bring up my own violent, disagreeable dog that has to be muzzled and drugged to go to the vet and slip in the fact that I haven't had visitors to my house in 7 years.
3. "Accidentally" show her a My Little Pony background on my phone while attempting to show her a photo of my dog. Is there anything worse than ponies now? I haven't kept up. I know I could always go for anime but I don't know if the young'uns are learning why anime should worry them anymore.
4. She was excited to hear about Trump getting into hot(ter) water over some FBI Russia thing and I am a racist. Should I just say I am a racist?