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Hey folks. I'm a 30 year old male living with my mother and my sister's two children. I have my BS in psychology and I haven't been employed since 2014 when I worked at one of the more popular wholesale retail locations. I stopped going to work initially to go to detox since I was drinking at work and pretty much the rest of the day too (partly due to depression). I didn't get back in touch with my employer and have just been sort of existing and doing nothing since then. In the past few weeks I've been motivated to make some changes. I'm sick of living at home, and providing constant care and attention to children that aren't mine is taking its toll on my brain. I've updated my resume and have been browsing indeed and craigslist pretty hardcore. Since I have a three year gap in my work history I listed that I've been providing childcare in the meantime. Is that a wise decision? I had an interview with a human services position right in my city that went fairly well. The only problem is that it was too similar to a group home job I had in 2013 when I was super depressed and tried to take my own life, so I decided against accepting the first thing that came my way. Was it a good idea to turn the job down since I'm so desperate to make some money and move out? My credit is abysmal (I declared bankruptcy in 2015) and I have defaulted on my student loans. Will I be able to move in somewhere as long as I have a roommate? I get the sense that trying even for a studio apartment will result in someone pulling up my credit report. If there's anything else I can be doing please feel free to chime in. I present myself professionally at interviews and am clean and properly dressed, so don't worry about me acting like a heap of garbage in front of potential employers because that's certainly not the case.
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Mar 31, 2017 21:10
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 21:41 |
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The childcare resume filler is probably your best bet, unless there is also any other experience/skill related thing ypu can also add in. If pressed, you can explain that you were helping your nephews and sister during a difficult time in their lives. You got an interview, so you must be doing something right. If you're that concerned about how a certain position might make you seriously depressed or screw you up, the thing to do is to get some therapy to figure out the underlying reasons. Above all, you don't want to fall back into alcoholism etc You don't need to take the first thing to come along, but you need to get back in the job market to refresh your resume so you can position yourself for the jobs you really want. Focus on getting a job and getting settled in working full time for a bit before you make any big changes like moving out. Your living situation probably isn't ideal, but you need to save miney for a while and readjust to having a job. Any other leads? Thesaurus fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Apr 1, 2017 |
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Apr 1, 2017 04:25
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Having an explanation for what you've been doing is better than a gap. Especially assisting family, etc. When it comes to jobs usually I suggest accepting whatever comes along to get some cashflow going. However if you think the job will be a problem you do need to make a decision. Either the job will be harmful to your mental health or it won't. You may find that your previous job may have had an environment that contributed to how you felt, or it may be that where you were mentally at that time could be the reason for your perception. I'm not sure which it might be, and potentially it may not be clear to you. I do not know for sure. You could try a job that is offered and if it isn't good for you look for another job while working there. At worst resign, it's better than just drifting off and not turning up. Really it's a balance between working and having a rental, or staying in your current circumstances. Which would be better for you? With respect to credit you just have to deal with it being where it is for now. If it stops you from getting a place just accept that and move onto the next place until you find somewhere. Once you are working somewhere you'll be able to working on improving you credit for rental purposes. Usually I don't even recommend bothering about credit ratings as they fix themselves over time anyway if you keep up on any credit payments.
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Apr 1, 2017 04:27
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I forgot to add: don't mention the depression or imply that you have struggled with mental health issues. It doesn't sound like you were going to anyways, but doing so could only hurt your chances because people are bastards. Keep any interview focused on what you bring to the company and what you're capable of rather than trying to explain away or make excuses for something in the past.
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Apr 1, 2017 04:37
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Yeah I definitely won't mention depression or mental health during an interview, I agree that people can be bastards. I have another prospect lined up that I was hoping to hear about by the end of the week. It's through a staffing agency, and the agency is family owned so it seems like they're a good bunch. It's entry level production work which hopefully I'll be able to handle better than human service stuff. Edit: also thanks for all the advice so far, it's way more than I was expecting to get! ServoMST3K fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Apr 1, 2017 |
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Apr 1, 2017 22:31
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ServoMST3K posted:Yeah I definitely won't mention depression or mental health during an interview, I agree that people can be bastards. Good luck on the application and let us know what you hear!
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Apr 3, 2017 05:58
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I have an interview on Wednesday with a local family owned orthodontics company that ships out a bunch of stuff every day. I would be a shipping assistant and it's a full time gig with benefits on day 1 and starts at $15/hour. The woman on the phone already asked me a bunch of interview questions and she seemed to like my answers. I'm worried that if things go well and I actually get a job like this I might get demotivated and end up quitting like I did my previous jobs. It just hasn't really set in that I need to work to survive since my mom and dad have provided for me and would continue to do so if I wasn't looking for employment. Does anyone have any advice for staying upbeat and committed to working through these feelings of apathy and uncertainty?
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Apr 3, 2017 22:07
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therapy
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Apr 4, 2017 13:35
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:therapy and medication but both. Make sure you do both consistently. Also stop drinking.
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Apr 4, 2017 15:57
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ServoMST3K posted:I'm worried that if things go well and I actually get a job like this I might get demotivated and end up quitting like I did my previous jobs. It just hasn't really set in that I need to work to survive since my mom and dad have provided for me and would continue to do so if I wasn't looking for employment. Does anyone have any advice for staying upbeat and committed to working through these feelings of apathy and uncertainty? It makes a lot of sense that you have no motivation to work given that your financial needs are being met. If your parents are happy to provide for you, and you have no career ambitions, then why work? The only thing I can think of is self esteem, and also being employed is a big boost in the dating world.
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Apr 4, 2017 17:56
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SHOAH NUFF posted:It makes a lot of sense that you have no motivation to work given that your financial needs are being met. If your parents are happy to provide for you, and you have no career ambitions, then why work? The only thing I can think of is self esteem, and also being employed is a big boost in the dating world. hot taek: if you're capable of work and you mooch off your parents you're scum
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Apr 4, 2017 18:01
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Why scum? If your parents can afford it and don't have qualms supporting you its a nice life without anyone being harmed? If I was a parent I would not unconditionally fund my kids into adulthood, because I think you do become a better person having some purpose in life and that usually comes from working (but it doesn't have to!)
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Apr 4, 2017 18:08
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Don't worry, I've been in therapy for the past 4 years and I'm on medication. I tried applying for disability before but got turned down a few times. I figure trying to work again is my best bet. Also, I really really want to move out so that is providing some motivation at least.
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Apr 4, 2017 18:43
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SHOAH NUFF posted:Why scum? If your parents can afford it and don't have qualms supporting you its a nice life without anyone being harmed? If I was a parent I would not unconditionally fund my kids into adulthood, because I think you do become a better person having some purpose in life and that usually comes from working (but it doesn't have to!) because you're an absurd underdeveloped manchild and even if your parents can afford to fund your lifestyle they shouldn't feel obligated even if it's voluntary it comes from a place of obligation
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Apr 4, 2017 19:02
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Settle down, I've been working since high school. Just thought it was an interesting point of discussion
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Apr 4, 2017 19:06
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You can call me a scum bag, and you'd probably be correct, but there's a whole bunch of e/n stuff that explains why I'm depressed and have been unable or unwilling to care for myself over the past few years. Let's just say my drug addict sister ruined my self esteem when I was younger and then she had a few children that my mother and I have had to care for since they were born. It's not easy for me to have a rosy outlook and not be a manchild most of the time.
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Apr 4, 2017 21:23
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ServoMST3K posted:You can call me a scum bag, and you'd probably be correct, but there's a whole bunch of e/n stuff that explains why I'm depressed and have been unable or unwilling to care for myself over the past few years. Let's just say my drug addict sister ruined my self esteem when I was younger and then she had a few children that my mother and I have had to care for since they were born. It's not easy for me to have a rosy outlook and not be a manchild most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling you a scum bag. If you have issues that prevent you from working, I completely understand being dependent on family. It's what they're for. I just have issues when people elect to not work and rely on their parents to care for them the remainder of their life as if the parents don't have other things to do with their money and time.
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Apr 4, 2017 22:07
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling you a scum bag. If you have issues that prevent you from working, I completely understand being dependent on family. It's what they're for. I just have issues when people elect to not work and rely on their parents to care for them the remainder of their life as if the parents don't have other things to do with their money and time. Not sure you are helping this guy with depression and self-esteem issues.
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Apr 4, 2017 22:19
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BarbarianElephant posted:Not sure you are helping this guy with depression and self-esteem issues. Yeah, probably not, so I'll drop it. Something about SHOAH NUFF's original post just rubbed me the wrong way.
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Apr 4, 2017 22:21
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:Yeah, probably not, so I'll drop it. Something about SHOAH NUFF's original post just rubbed me the wrong way. Did it start with the name, maybe? I think Servo has a clear picture of what to do moving forward. I believe in you, Servo!
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Apr 4, 2017 22:25
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:Yeah, probably not, so I'll drop it. Something about SHOAH NUFF's original post just rubbed me the wrong way. 
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Apr 4, 2017 22:31
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I'm fine with all sorts of input in this thread. It's helpful to get different perspectives. In other news the job I'm interviewing for/getting a tour of tomorrow says it has benefits on day 1, that seems like a good find. I'm trying to figure out how much money I'll make after taxes so I can figure out how much I can afford for an apartment. If I make 15/hour, that's 2400 a month pre tax. I'm in MA so I'm guessing conservatively that I'll have like 200 taken out for tax then maybe 30 more for social security per paycheck. Should I err on caution and go for a cheaper apartment like 600 a moth plus utilities so I can save up for emergency funds and stuff as well? I would hang around for a while and save even more while living at home but I want to move out sooner rather than later once I can even remotely afford it.
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Apr 4, 2017 22:35
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I would suggest saving up a few months of expenses as an emergency fund before moving out, even though you want to move out ASAP. even a months worth of expenses can be the difference between missing a rent payment when you are between jobs.EAT FASTER!!!!!! posted:Did it start with the name, maybe? What's wrong with my name?
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Apr 4, 2017 22:41
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EAT FASTER!!!!!! posted:Did it start with the name, maybe? Thanks! Also thanks to everyone who has given input so far. I.....I don't know if I could have made it this far without this forum :') Edit: I just want to clarify that I haven't had any alcohol in over two and a half years so there's almost zero chance that drinking will get in my way again. ServoMST3K fucked around with this message at 00:59 on Apr 5, 2017 |
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Apr 4, 2017 22:55
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ServoMST3K posted:Should I err on caution and go for a cheaper apartment like 600 a moth plus utilities so I can save up for emergency funds and stuff as well? I would hang around for a while and save even more while living at home but I want to move out sooner rather than later once I can even remotely afford it. In general you should go for a cheaper place. Moving out and then having large rent costs isn't great for the budget. You'll have a bit of adjusting to do and you'll find you're missing stuff that you need, etc. Keeping costs low will help avoid getting stressed out about money.
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Apr 4, 2017 23:17
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You should probably not move out for at least a month after getting a job in order to save some money, and most especially in case you and the job are not a good fit and you get fired or quit. Try not to plan too hard for jobs that you haven't had an offer for yet; you will probably have to do a fair few interviews before getting an offer and it's best to ensure you don't feel too crushed at the rejections.
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Apr 5, 2017 14:23
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ServoMST3K posted:I'm fine with all sorts of input in this thread. It's helpful to get different perspectives. This thing is decent and state specific: https://www.adp.com/tools-and-resources/calculators-and-tools/payroll-calculators/hourly-paycheck-calculator.aspx This is what you can expect: Calculated at 04/05/2017 09:37:40 Gross Pay 1200.00 Federal 148.80 Fica 74.40 Medicare 17.40 State 56.52 Net Pay 902.88 Note that it does not account for any payments for benefits like health insurance. Always keep your expenses as limited as you can especially if you don't have a cushion. I agree that it will be good to move out ASAP. $600/mo plus utilities puts your rent at 33% of income which isn't too bad. You should make a budget, though. KYOON GRIFFEY JR fucked around with this message at 14:39 on Apr 5, 2017 |
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Apr 5, 2017 14:33
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Well the interview went pretty smooth today, I got a tour of the entire facility. It's a pretty interesting operation, they do all sorts of imaging of dental patterns and then develop orthodontics and stuff all in house. I think it's a company I'd like to work for since it's family owned. They're interviewing a few more people this week then I should hear back early next week about whether I got chosen or not. If I do get chosen then there's a three day work interview which is paid, and they see if you're a good fit for the position. I'm glad I still have other prospects brewing just in case. You guys were right to suggest not banking too hard on something before I got an offer. Also, thanks again for all the advice folks!!
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Apr 5, 2017 20:22
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Not saying to not work for a joint because it's family owned, but sometimes "family owned" covers up the most egregious working practices and sins in employee mismanagement. Usually with awful corporate jobs there are at least real standards in place that are comprehensible. I am probably scarred by experiences working with car dealerships which tend to be "family owned" and universally awful to work at.
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Apr 5, 2017 20:28
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I'll keep that in mind. At least the job that I would have seems like it would be on the less seedier side of things if there were any terrible things going on.
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Apr 5, 2017 20:58
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ServoMST3K posted:Well the interview went pretty smooth today, I got a tour of the entire facility. It's a pretty interesting operation, they do all sorts of imaging of dental patterns and then develop orthodontics and stuff all in house. I think it's a company I'd like to work for since it's family owned. Glad to hear you think it went well! I agree with everyone else suggesting that you don't immediately jump into a new lease right after you get a job. Baby steps 
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Apr 6, 2017 05:13
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Family owned places aren't necessarily bad. Most places I've worked at have been family businesses and they were all fine. It's just that if the boss is a psycho you don't have HR to go to, because HR is the boss's wife. This is no big deal if you are flexible enough to just start looking for another job if the current one is unbearable. As a hint, if you *do* feel like you need to walk in the future, try to get a new job first, because employers like to employ the employed. Tempting as it is to say "screw this job!" and walk out, it's better to be able to say "Thanks for the experience, boss, but I've got a new job starting on Monday so I guess this is good-bye." More life advice: Even though you really want to get your own place straightaway, I think you'll find life with the family more bearable if you get to leave the house for work 8 hours a day.
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Apr 6, 2017 17:02
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Well, I filled out paperwork for another temp agency yesterday. I haven't heard anything definitive yet on the other jobs, but everything has been in the 11-15 dollar an hour range which is what I was expecting. In the meantime I'm looking into a part time position helping at a horse barn near me on weekends. I'm pretty excited about that, cause if it works out then I can say I belong to the ranks of people who have more than one job!
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Apr 7, 2017 20:31
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BarbarianElephant posted:Family owned places aren't necessarily bad. Most places I've worked at have been family businesses and they were all fine. It's just that if the boss is a psycho you don't have HR to go to, because HR is the boss's wife. This is no big deal if you are flexible enough to just start looking for another job if the current one is unbearable. Yeah to be clear I wasn't saying that family owned places are inherently bad, just that they're not inherently good, which the OP seemed to think. ServoMST3K posted:Well, I filled out paperwork for another temp agency yesterday. I haven't heard anything definitive yet on the other jobs, but everything has been in the 11-15 dollar an hour range which is what I was expecting. In the meantime I'm looking into a part time position helping at a horse barn near me on weekends. I'm pretty excited about that, cause if it works out then I can say I belong to the ranks of people who have more than one job! Nice, looks like you're progressing very well. However, make sure you do not turn in to a horse person as then you will be impoverished and die alone.
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Apr 7, 2017 21:41
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I'm looking forward to dying impoverished and alone anyway, so horses sound like a good fit.
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Apr 7, 2017 23:33
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Well I'm supposed to be starting at a local entry level production job either tomorrow or Wednesday through a staffing agency. I'm excited but a little bit nervous. I'll be disassembling computers to recycle the components and stuff like that. I can apply for full time permanent employment after 90 days supposedly which is nice. Does anyone here have experience working through a staffing agency? I'm curious as to how it's gonna go.
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Apr 10, 2017 23:37
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ServoMST3K posted:Well I'm supposed to be starting at a local entry level production job either tomorrow or Wednesday through a staffing agency. I'm excited but a little bit nervous. I'll be disassembling computers to recycle the components and stuff like that. I can apply for full time permanent employment after 90 days supposedly which is nice. I've done it for both Nintendo and Expedia, and the only real differences vs being an FTE were who my paycheck was signed by, and how frequently it arrived (weekly instead of biweekly). YMMV, this was in Washington State.
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Apr 10, 2017 23:58
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I started work on Wednesday. It's going ok so far. They have me doing pretty menial repetitive stuff so far but I can handle it for now. There's other stuff I can be trained to do eventually that'll probably be more interesting. I was actually late for my 2nd day of work, so there's that.
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Apr 14, 2017 19:42
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ServoMST3K posted:I started work on Wednesday. It's going ok so far. They have me doing pretty menial repetitive stuff so far but I can handle it for now. There's other stuff I can be trained to do eventually that'll probably be more interesting. I was actually late for my 2nd day of work, so there's that. Set your alarm clock earlier or you are going to get fired. This is one thing a lot of long-term unemployed people struggle with on finally getting a job, the following of seemingly petty rules like "9.03am is still late."
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Apr 14, 2017 19:57
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Yeah I learned my lesson. After two late punch ins I get a verbal warning. It technically wasn't my fault because there was a massive traffic jam due to an accident on the only highway I can take to get there, but I went much earlier anyway the next day.
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Apr 17, 2017 01:42
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