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When eating with a fork and knife, right-handed people will have the knife in right hand and the morsel they cut already pierced by the fork in the left hand, then proceed to put down the knife and put the fork in the right hand so they can eat the morsel. Repeat every single step for every morsel they cut. The hell? You already had the food in your fork, just put it in your drat mouth! There's no need to take this extra step to pass the fork from your left to your right hand. Is coordinating food and fork into your stupid mouth by your non-dominant hand so difficult for you?
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Apr 17, 2017 22:45
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Yoshi Jjang posted:When eating with a fork and knife, right-handed people will have the knife in right hand and the morsel they cut already pierced by the fork in the left hand, then proceed to put down the knife and put the fork in the right hand so they can eat the morsel. Repeat every single step for every morsel they cut. It's American table manners.
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Apr 17, 2017 22:53
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Yoshi Jjang posted:When eating with a fork and knife, right-handed people will have the knife in right hand and the morsel they cut already pierced by the fork in the left hand, then proceed to put down the knife and put the fork in the right hand so they can eat the morsel. Repeat every single step for every morsel they cut. I just cut everything into bite size pieces and then shove it into my mouth with a spoon.
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Apr 17, 2017 23:02
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I'm a piece of poo poo so I just eat it off the floor like an animal.
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Apr 17, 2017 23:03
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Yes, I am in the left (fast) lane. I am driving a relatively safe speed of 5 mph over the speed limit, as is common. You do not need to go faster than that. You are so close you're practically in my trunk you impatient gently caress.
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Apr 17, 2017 23:07
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Mezzanine posted:Yes, I am in the left (fast) lane. I am driving a relatively safe speed of 5 mph over the speed limit, as is common. You do not need to go faster than that. You are so close you're practically in my trunk you impatient gently caress. Are you actively passing someone? Continue on and gently caress tailgaters. Are you camped out in the fast lane and not passing? Or staying there to pass the next car in the middle lane a hundred or more yards away? I hate you with all that I have.
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Apr 18, 2017 00:12
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Mezzanine posted:Yes, I am in the left (fast) lane. I am driving a relatively safe speed of 5 mph over the speed limit, as is common. You do not need to go faster than that. You are so close you're practically in my trunk you impatient gently caress. Depending on where you live it may actually be illegal for you to do this if you're not actively passing somebody 
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Apr 18, 2017 00:13
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Yoshi Jjang posted:When eating with a fork and knife, right-handed people will have the knife in right hand and the morsel they cut already pierced by the fork in the left hand, then proceed to put down the knife and put the fork in the right hand so they can eat the morsel. Repeat every single step for every morsel they cut. I have never seen somebody do this in my life. I am sorry for you, because I would probably blow a gasket if I saw that IRL.
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Apr 18, 2017 00:41
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honda whisperer posted:Are you actively passing someone? Continue on and gently caress tailgaters.
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Apr 18, 2017 01:04
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The General posted:I have never seen somebody do this in my life. I am sorry for you, because I would probably blow a gasket if I saw that IRL. I do it but I don't think I really thought about it before now. Are there no left handed people who do the opposite it just feels more natural to use your dominant hand to shovel food into your mouth
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Apr 18, 2017 01:05
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Yoshi Jjang posted:When eating with a fork and knife, right-handed people will have the knife in right hand and the morsel they cut already pierced by the fork in the left hand, then proceed to put down the knife and put the fork in the right hand so they can eat the morsel. Repeat every single step for every morsel they cut. Congratulations, you're enraged by the normal way to do things.
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Apr 18, 2017 01:05
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honda whisperer posted:Are you actively passing someone? Continue on and gently caress tailgaters. No, I don't camp out in the fast lane. I made a point of saying that I go at least a little above the speed limit because the impatient fucks will always show up whenever someone in the right lane decides to match speeds with me. Now I've got the impatient gently caress on my rear end, and my options are 1) Go way over the speed limit in order to completely pass, then let the impatient gently caress through, or 2) Slow down and get behind the right lane. Both of these will likely cause an accident, because some impatient gently caress just HAS to go faster. girl pants posted:Depending on where you live it may actually be illegal for you to do this if you're not actively passing somebody If you mean illegal to be IN the fast lane unless passing, rather than being a general "avoid using the fast lane unless passing", I was not aware of that. I try to be as accommodating as possible, but still. Mezzanine has a new favorite as of 01:42 on Apr 18, 2017 |
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Apr 18, 2017 01:38
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Mezzanine posted:If you mean illegal to be IN the fast lane unless passing, rather than being a general "avoid using the fast lane unless passing", I was not aware of that. I try to be as accommodating as possible, but still. In some U.S. states (and probably other places too) cops can ticket you for hanging out in the fast lane without passing or getting over if you're holding up traffic by doing so: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/08/us/more-states-are-cracking-down-on-left-lane-slowpokes.html?_r=0 Personally, I think the rationale is a little bit goofy, but you never really know why somebody in the left lane is speeding. Could be a medical emergency, could be an rear end in a top hat, could just really have to poop. It's not really my place to make that call.
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Apr 18, 2017 02:11
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Mezzanine posted:No, I don't camp out in the fast lane. I made a point of saying that I go at least a little above the speed limit because the impatient fucks will always show up whenever someone in the right lane decides to match speeds with me. Now I've got the impatient gently caress on my rear end, and my options are 1) Go way over the speed limit in order to completely pass, then let the impatient gently caress through, or 2) Slow down and get behind the right lane. Both of these will likely cause an accident, because some impatient gently caress just HAS to go faster. I don't mean to be rude but if you refuse to go at least 10 miles over the speedlimit on the highway you are an old lady who shouldn't be driving on a highway
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Apr 18, 2017 02:14
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Aesop Poprock posted:I don't mean to be rude but if you refuse to go at least 10 miles over the speedlimit on the highway you are an old lady who shouldn't be driving on a highway Highways are no problem. I know I'm a 35 yo male old lady so I stay in the right two lanes then. I was talking more about, y'know, curvy local two-lane roads where the posted limit is 45, I'll stay between 50-55. Sorry to be so vague and/or pedantic. Shoulda just said "I hate tailgaters".
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Apr 18, 2017 02:20
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Mezzanine posted:Highways are no problem. I know I'm a 35 yo male old lady so I stay in the right two lanes then. I was talking more about, y'know, curvy local two-lane roads where the posted limit is 45, I'll stay between 50-55. Sorry to be so vague and/or pedantic. Shoulda just said "I hate tailgaters". It's ok my last four posts including this one have involve the term old lady so I'm kinda boxing myself in with this insult
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Apr 18, 2017 02:54
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Mezzanine posted:No, I don't camp out in the fast lane. I made a point of saying that I go at least a little above the speed limit because the impatient fucks will always show up whenever someone in the right lane decides to match speeds with me. Now I've got the impatient gently caress on my rear end, and my options are 1) Go way over the speed limit in order to completely pass, then let the impatient gently caress through, or 2) Slow down and get behind the right lane. Both of these will likely cause an accident, because some impatient gently caress just HAS to go faster. See part one of my post. It doesn't matter how fast you're passing theres always some dickhead who doesn't think it's fast enough. Drive as fast as you feel comfortable.
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Apr 18, 2017 04:22
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Yoshi Jjang posted:When eating with a fork and knife, right-handed people will have the knife in right hand and the morsel they cut already pierced by the fork in the left hand, then proceed to put down the knife and put the fork in the right hand so they can eat the morsel. Repeat every single step for every morsel they cut. I'm right handed and I just keep my fork in my right hand and knife in my left, apparently this is odd for a right handed person. 
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Apr 18, 2017 05:28
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After having read the above discussion, I can no longer remember how I hold cutlery. I'll never eat again. Thanks guys.
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Apr 18, 2017 05:39
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I'm the only left handed person in my family, and I'm the only one who uses knife in left hand fork in right. Everyone else does it the other way around to the extent that at family meals I have to switch the positions of the cutlery at my place so it goes with the "correct" hands for me. I think it's because cutting is harder work than forking so I use my dominant hand to cut through the food before moving it with my right.
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Apr 18, 2017 05:40
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It's weird because the cutting motion of the knife takes more effort so people typically put the knife on their right hand. On the other hand, most people don't really care how you eat so do whatever.
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Apr 18, 2017 05:40
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This wouldn't be a problem is you just drank Soylent.
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Apr 18, 2017 05:45
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When people comment on my farts. "Ugh thats so rude, you are disgusting!" I'm being nice. I can unleash the most horrendous shits with ease from the depths of mine own tremendous and mighty rear end, so forceful would my poo poo be that you cannot even have a moment to react before my bowels send forth a huricane of fart force winds and an avalanch of brown boulders. Every time i dont do this, i am being merciful. I am pardoning you for intruding into my dominion (which is rightfully everything). You are here on sufferance and i tolerate you. Dont get 2 (as in number 2) comfortable.
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Apr 18, 2017 06:17
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WampaLord posted:Bacon is like 80 calories for 2 strips. Even if you go all ...yeah, but that's a bit generous because you're not counting the calories of what it's cooked in, or served with, and on top of that what calories there are in bacon are largely derived from fat. It's also really high in sodium. I mean you can eat it but tbh if your goal is six-pack abs it's not exactly a great start imo
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Apr 18, 2017 07:17
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and eat like 6 strips with breakfast, that's only 240 calories. Stop acting like bacon is a death food, it's fine, it's just normal meat.
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Nostradingus posted:Congratulations, you're enraged by the normal way to do things.
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Apr 18, 2017 07:27
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CarpenterWalrus posted:Things Something Awful forums poster Sunswipe likes:
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Apr 18, 2017 07:29
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Mu Zeta posted:It's weird because the cutting motion of the knife takes more effort so people typically put the knife on their right hand. On the other hand, most people don't really care how you eat so do whatever. I would never eat food I'm not able to cut with my left hand*. (I'm not left-handed and I don't care which way people hold their cutlery, I just find this an obsolete argument for holding the knife in the right hand.) *) Holding a knife that is. I don't karate-chop my food.
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Apr 18, 2017 07:34
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Tiggum posted:Only normal for Americans. Everyone else in the world thinks you look like stupid children eating that way. Speaking of area-relative cutlery use, I've noticed a thing where Euro folks swing an upside-down fork into their mouths as quickly as possible. Just really jerk it in there, like it's actively trying to get away from them. I'm used to holding the fork upside-down while cutting, then twisting it rightside-up as you move it toward your face. The Euro way just seems so panicked and uptight and makes me wonder if they're scared of dropping it or can't balance poo poo or what.
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Apr 18, 2017 07:46
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Das Boo posted:Speaking of area-relative cutlery use, I've noticed a thing where Euro folks swing an upside-down fork into their mouths as quickly as possible. Just really jerk it in there, like it's actively trying to get away from them. I'm used to holding the fork upside-down while cutting, then twisting it rightside-up as you move it toward your face. The Euro way just seems so panicked and uptight and makes me wonder if they're scared of dropping it or can't balance poo poo or what. Why wait?
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Apr 18, 2017 07:49
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Jerry Cotton posted:Why wait? If efficiency concerns you, Sir, let me tell you about Soylent...
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Apr 18, 2017 07:54
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Das Boo posted:If efficiency concerns you, Sir, let me tell you about Soylent... I hardly think eating Soylent with a fork is very efficient.
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Apr 18, 2017 07:56
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Jerry Cotton posted:I hardly think eating Soylent with a fork is very efficient. Right, injecting it straight into your veins is the quickest way to kill you.
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Apr 18, 2017 08:08
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I feel like chewing with your mouth open and talking with your mouth full must not be considered rude or gross in Indiana because everyone here does it. It's like working with a bunch of cartoon gluttons.mds2 posted:Basically every other person on the road driving. Those fuckers. Those FUCKERS! They all need to die.
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Apr 18, 2017 09:32
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The Moon Monster posted:I feel like chewing with your mouth open and talking with your mouth full must not be considered rude or gross in Indiana because everyone here does it. It's like working with a bunch of cartoon gluttons. My dad used to call the on-coming lane the enemy lane.
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Apr 18, 2017 09:34
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Tiggum posted:Only normal for Americans. Everyone else in the world thinks you look like stupid children eating that way. Tiggum even other Australians think your view on food is weird let's not get uppity at the other countries
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Apr 18, 2017 11:14
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The Moon Monster posted:I feel like chewing with your mouth open and talking with your mouth full must not be considered rude or gross in Indiana because everyone here does it. It's like working with a bunch of cartoon gluttons. I have literally heard people defend intentionally chewing open-mouthed because of this bonkers magical thinking by which, and I'm paraphrasing, "air mixing with the food as you chew it enhances its flavor." That's absolutely not how that works, but you have to appreciate the sort of logic a mildly inventive and utterly selfish 5-year-old child might employ to avoid having to change their behavior for the sake of courtesy.
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Apr 18, 2017 11:23
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Pastry of the Year posted:I have literally heard people defend intentionally chewing open-mouthed because of this bonkers magical thinking by which, and I'm paraphrasing, "air mixing with the food as you chew it enhances its flavor." That's absolutely not how that works, but you have to appreciate the sort of logic a mildly inventive and utterly selfish 5-year-old child might employ to avoid having to change their behavior for the sake of courtesy. If air mixing with their food makes it taste better then logically this also means they're making the air taste better by adding their food to it while they eat like a loving troglodyte. Win win!
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Apr 18, 2017 12:37
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Slime posted:If air mixing with their food makes it taste better then logically this also means they're making the air taste better by adding their food to it while they eat like a loving troglodyte. Win win! throw a few Big Macs into a high-powered blender, then transfer the resultant slurry into an essential oil diffuser for a smell that'll stick to your ribs, walla
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Apr 18, 2017 12:46
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Mezzanine posted:No, I don't camp out in the fast lane. I made a point of saying that I go at least a little above the speed limit because the impatient fucks will always show up whenever someone in the right lane decides to match speeds with me. Now I've got the impatient gently caress on my rear end, and my options are 1) Go way over the speed limit in order to completely pass, then let the impatient gently caress through, or 2) Slow down and get behind the right lane. Both of these will likely cause an accident, because some impatient gently caress just HAS to go faster. 2 is more likely to cause an accident than 1 - so speed up, pass and get the gently caress out of the way. You are NOT a cop and it is not your job to regulate the speed of other drivers in any lane under any circumstances. And yes - most states have a law about "impeding the natural flow of traffic". It doesn't matter if the speed limit is 45 - if EVERYONE but you is moving 60, YOU are in the wrong. If you don't have the hammer down, get out of the hammer lane. If you are driving the same speed as someone in the lane next to you - one of you is wrong. probably the guy in the right lane, but after hearing you talk about slowpoking it in the left lane - it's probably you. Speed up, pass and move. Pastry of the Year posted:throw a few Big Macs into a high-powered blender, then transfer the resultant slurry into an essential oil diffuser for a smell that'll stick to your ribs, walla This. The word you are looking for is voila. See also: "per say" and "for all intensive purposes".
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Apr 18, 2017 13:00
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HaB posted:This. The word you are looking for is voila. Been in PYF long?
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Apr 18, 2017 13:02
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