|
more falafel please posted:iirc in like episode 1 or 2 of sliders they find the right dimension but the kid freaks out cause the squeaky gate on his fence doesn't squeak so they jump and then dad says to mom "oh, btw I oiled the gate, it shouldn't squeak anymore" haha edit: The payoff for this has to be that they end up settling for close enough on way worse terms. Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 09:29 on Mar 25, 2024 |
#
?
Mar 25, 2024 09:23
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 28, 2024 16:28 |
|
|
One of those mall kiosks that lets you screenprint t-shirts and embroider hats but the only options are different different versions of the kiosk owner's face |
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2024 10:17
|
|
|
|
Art jr’s dad forbids him from patenting a novel device |
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2024 11:28
|
|
|
Parents setting their foot down about seemingly arbitrary rules 'You will NOT patent an invention until you're 18' 'No daughter of mine will take pre-calculus in the fall and not spring semester' 'Listen. As long as you live under my roof, you'll store your loose pennies in a plastic bag and not a bowl, young man' |
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2024 11:38
|
|
|
|
Ugh having time traveler parents turbo sucks. |
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2024 17:44
|
|
|
|
Bright Bart posted:Parents setting their foot down about seemingly arbitrary rules Hey! Young lady, you know very well you need to leave your door open at a 42 degree angle when you have a male friend over, and this looks like 44 degrees to me! Don't make me get out the protractor! Is...is that the Cha Cha Slide I'm hearing in there?! |
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2024 17:56
|
|
|
Being absolutely flabbergasted at really basic and/or intuitive knowledge The War of 1812 happened in 1812?! I figured that it was named after the number of generals or something. All the paintings make it seem like it happened much more recently. They have guns and everything! -math student at Yale Mom, mom! Did you know that volcanos *erupt*? WTF. -35 year old stock broker First you 'dribble' the basketball to the ground and it comes back up, then you throw it at the net, and then it falls to the ground and maybe bounces again. Yeah right buddy. And I have a bridge to sell you . -NHL hockey player google THIS posted:ffghji Is...is that the Cha Cha Slide I'm hearing in there?! It better be! I don't pay for weekly Cha Cha Slide lessons so you can slack off reading comic books with some boy. Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 23:00 on Mar 25, 2024 |
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2024 22:55
|
|
|
|
sorry babe, the sig stays on while hornyposting
code: |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 03:08
|
|
|
|
frank pervert's poon |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 06:19
|
|
|
|
alien boomers alien boomers get mad that their favorite restaurant is always busy so they convince a primitive species to build and staff the interstellar equivalent of a cheese cake factory alien boomers terraform marbus 9 into a jreufian golf course and resort, killing 5 billion sentient creatures and wrecking a thriving global ecosystem in the process alien boomers alter the fabric of space/time to make the now always fifty years ago then get mad when more people can afford housing alien boomers invent a cure for the space pox and throw it away because since they had to live with space pox it's only fair that everyone should |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 07:31
|
|
|
Alien boomers get fuming, send-death-threats-to-galactic-counsellors mad at proposals to allow multi-family planets in their solar system, because the planet they bought for 200 spacebucks with their part time job as a flying saucer washer while in space high school is now worth 7 million spacebucks and they won't have *those* people move in and drive down the value (even though they have no intention of ever moving). Too far? |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 08:07
|
|
|
Instead of bandanas, gulag tattoos, and pinky rings, gangbangers and mobsters signal their status and affiliation through spoons they carry in their hand at all times. And a spoon in the laces of their shoes just in case someone is looking down instead of up.
Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 12:35 on Mar 26, 2024 |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 08:12
|
|
|
|
My spoon is wrought from whittled ash and rosewood, japanese joinery, glueless, bitch. |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 11:38
|
|
|
A show like Pawn Stars or Storage Wars but it's just about people trading small things 'Samantha drives over to her sister's place to ask if she can borrow her blender for a party since Louise never uses it anyways. But Louise says no to the loan, and instead offers to swap the blender for one of Sam's crockpots. Sam has two of the same model after getting one as a gift that didn't come with a receipt. She only uses one, but will she agree to this trade... [tense music plays] Now we head to the lunchroom at Brighton Elementary where Bobby proposes an interesting solution to a dilemma. Bobby wants Courtney's orange, but he only has a juicebox that Courtney has no interest in (it's grape flavour eww). Alex wants the juicebox but only has an extra yogurt that Bobby doesn't want, but Courtney does. Bobby proposes that they all just give each other the item that they want. Such a three-way swap has never taken place in the school before, and the two girls are suspicious of the boy. But hunger and thirst get the best of them and the transaction is completed without any issues. ...coming back to Samantha and Louise. Samantha does want the blender and does have two crockpots. But she's pretty sure that the crockpot cost at least $15 more than the blender. And plus if one breaks she couldn't make her famous chili that night unless she drives to the department store and it might be closed. This time, there is no deal.' Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 13:03 on Mar 26, 2024 |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 13:01
|
|
|
Going to brown town. Paint the town brown. |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 14:09
|
|
|
|
Prurient Squid posted:Going to brown town. Paint the town brown. 
code: |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 14:56
|
|
|
|
The Voice of Labor posted:alien boomers Alien boomers have no sympathy for younger aliens who can't probe enough anuses to afford rent Alien boomers refuse to acknowledge that the inferior planets have seen more urbanization and the advent of mobile devices, making it much more difficult to discreetly probe anuses than when the alien boomers first entered the anal probing workforce |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 15:37
|
|
|
|
Alien boomers tell you that when they were your age they already had a job, owned a house, and had laid over 47,000 eggs in the chest cavities of hapless host organisms |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 15:45
|
|
|
|
Alien boomers don't understand why you never telepathically communicate with them via the hive consciousness anymore |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 15:47
|
|
|
|
Marriage is a sacred bond between a brood-mate and her thralls. Two thralls in thrall to each other? It ain't natural. |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 15:50
|
|
|
|
Alien boomers are vaguely aware that they've lived for the swarm for so long they forgot how to live for themselves |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 15:56
|
|
|
|
Alien boomer is secretly proud of you for eating all of your siblings while still the nest but doesn't know the right pheromones to express it |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 16:04
|
|
|
Deep down, alien boomers know that they're just angry that the world is passing them by; already rehearsing the lectures they can give their kid when they fly over: They're making more money? They're spoilt. They're making less? A failure. About the same? They're indolent. |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 16:09
|
|
|
|
Alien Boomer doesn't understand why the kid just doesn't go infect one of the thousands of still alive colonists like they did years ago when they wiped out the colony |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 16:13
|
|
|
Alien boomers vote to cut child tax credits, financial aid for college, and old age pension for the elderly in order to finance a monthly payment each month to themselves None of them can access the money because they all forgot their bank passwords They blame 'hacker kids' and vow to oppress other age groups even harder |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 16:24
|
|
|
Alien boomers being suckered into sending money to a Fr'Reki prince on Ustra 11. Hours after ranting on SpaceBook how gulible you'd have to believe that the black hole is getting closer and it's not just a natural variation of gravity |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 16:26
|
|
|
|
No I can't, I have Yellowism. |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 18:44
|
|
|
Finger Prince posted:Marriage is a sacred bond between a brood-mate and her thralls. Two thralls in thrall to each other? It ain't natural. |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 20:06
|
|
|
I kind of want to make one of those writing challenges and the prompt is that the first sentence has to be 'I told them to go gently caress themselves, and they did.' You could get so much variety out of that. |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 20:13
|
|
|
Spreadshirts. Like spreadsheets but shirts. |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 20:37
|
|
|
|
the earthlings cancelled pluto!!
code: |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 21:03
|
|
|
|
Bright Bart posted:I kind of want to make one of those writing challenges and the prompt is that the first sentence has to be 'I told them to go gently caress themselves, and they did.' https://youtu.be/lOkXP1DmDiY?si=tQOKxeBpZghlEXR7 edit: I guess I should say mild  ?
RavenousScoot fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Mar 26, 2024
code: |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 21:04
|
|
|
|
"...and off they hosed." is one of my favorite ways to end a sentence. |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 21:08
|
|
|
|
Prurient Squid posted:Spreadshirts. Like spreadsheets but shirts. Spread-fitted sheets Eventually you just give up trying to format them correctly and unceremoniously shove them in a folder |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 22:10
|
|
|
|
I can't, I have the spreadshits. |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 22:20
|
|
|
|
the alien boomer shore party, having found a microbe on the unexplored planet, put the strobe light attachment on their microscope and begin to transmit their message. the light brightens and dims and pulses. "TAKE US TO YOUR MANAGER" it says in br't'r'mj standard universal prokaryote |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 23:33
|
|
|
|
The Voice of Labor posted:the alien boomer shore party, having found a microbe on the unexplored planet, put the strobe light attachment on their microscope and begin to transmit their message. the light brightens and dims and pulses. "TAKE US TO YOUR MANAGER" it says in br't'r'mj standard universal prokaryote
code: |
|
#
?
Mar 26, 2024 23:45
|
|
|
|
baby dr evil sucking his pinky
code: |
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2024 02:06
|
|
|
|
putting on a cartoon voice and rolling my eyes whenever I say “UAP” |
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2024 10:35
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 28, 2024 16:28 |
|
|
turning into ultraman or other tokusetsu heroes to accomplish mundane tasks. ironing clothes with my elbow lazers, turning huge in order to make a phone call, etc
crimes |
|
#
?
Mar 27, 2024 17:38
|
|
