Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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deep dish peat moss

Wearing a weave but for different body parts, like "drat Helga those extra fingers are sexy girl! Are they a weave?"

# ¿ Apr 19, 2017 20:10

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 19:40

deep dish peat moss

cda posted:

"Nobody's leaving until we find out who took a poo poo here, in the middle of Disneyworld."

The exact center of the Universe is right here, we all revolve around this poo poo that someone took here, in the middle of Disneyworld.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 01:45

deep dish peat moss

Different kind of *punk, like cyberpunk and steampunk but new things. Of course there's Weedpunk where the earth is covered by a dense, slowing fog and the sun has gone ultraviolet, and Netpunk where everyone lives on one of those endless black gridded planes in the digital world.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 02:07

deep dish peat moss

Kid Rock becoming a world-renowned geologist and renaming Earth's mantle the Baw Wit Da Baw Da Bang A Dang Diggy Layer

# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 07:31

deep dish peat moss

Plebian Parasite posted:

Cybershorts, so like you have to plug them in and the pockets are called matterpods and the holes you put your feet through are legjacks

# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 07:32

deep dish peat moss

Buying a house, getting it cheap because it's in the Friend Zone.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 17:00

deep dish peat moss

Inventing a time machine, but it only takes you back to 15 minutes before you started inventing the time machine, so every time you build it 15 minutes sooner and travel back in time that way.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2017 04:33

deep dish peat moss

Me: So what's your new show about?

Geraldine Seinfeld : Nothing.

Me: What do you mean nothing?

GS: Don't worry about it.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2017 15:50

deep dish peat moss

SHY NUDIST GRRL posted:

Everyone would just name obscure *punks they don't know have been coined already

Big Punk, it's a dystopian universe exactly like our own, but everything is 20 times bigger.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 02:28

deep dish peat moss

Big Punk - punk companies, collectively, as a sector of industry

# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 02:30

deep dish peat moss

Computer viruses that work on people, like Malwaria and Trojan Hoarse

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 18:38

deep dish peat moss

DiGiornolism brand frozen newspapers, just take home and bake and you can read the news

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 21:12

deep dish peat moss

Days in Norm Al's life after he decided to retire from being Weird.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 21:14

deep dish peat moss

A new game show called Crash Cab

# ¿ Apr 30, 2017 22:39

deep dish peat moss

Grass Dad a thread about a kid with a Grass-Type dad

# ¿ May 1, 2017 04:38

deep dish peat moss

My dad's a Bulbasaur and every time I bring a girl home he just has to show her every one of his fronds.

# ¿ May 1, 2017 04:39

deep dish peat moss

If you look at a list of the 1,000 popular baby names in 1900-1910 and look at the very bottom of the list there are some great names.

Cloyd, Gerhard, Bart, Huldah, Loran, Arvid, Lurline, Eligah, Zenobia, Wayman, Gertha

These are the Khaleesis of their time and I want to bring them back

# ¿ May 1, 2017 19:27

deep dish peat moss

Milburn

# ¿ May 1, 2017 19:29

deep dish peat moss

mrbradlymrmartin posted:

used to buy mushrooms from elijah

goes by eli most a the time

Eli for selling shrooms
Jah for selling weed

# ¿ May 1, 2017 20:00

deep dish peat moss

The world was burned down to a ball of soot and resin stuck in the pipe of the solar system.

# ¿ May 2, 2017 17:26

deep dish peat moss

Imagine an endless desert of black velvet, pockmarked by ancient traces of neon plants and vivid wildlife glowing under the UV Sun

# ¿ May 2, 2017 17:28

deep dish peat moss

Rotten Punk posted:

the concept of "developing a thread"

Having to get a thread developed, like you make a bunch of posts and have to take them to Walgreens or Target and wait for an hour to see how they came out.

# ¿ May 6, 2017 08:30

deep dish peat moss

Splatmaster posted:

Dre, Dre, Dre, Dre
Oh

Don't you forget about Dre,
Forget Death Row, 50 Cent not Dre.

Give him all your shout outs,
The Doctor is in, buh-bye all your doubts
There's Dre! He's standing right there,
Try not to stare, he's easily angered.

Old age is no excuse, you cannot recuse
Yourself from recalling

Don't you forget about Dre
Don't don't don't don't
Don't you forget about Dre

Just three syllables, see?
Doctor Dre, not hard to say,
Repeat and get it repeat and get it
Down, down, down

As you walk on by
Will you recognize Dre?
Say his name or walk on by
Repeat it and get it repeat it and get it
Down, down, down

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Oh

Don't you call him Andre
That's not what you say, stick with Dr. Dre
He gets real sensitive
"Mister Andre" is not what to say

Don't you forget about Dre
Don't don't don't don't
Don't you forget about Dre

As you walk on by
Will you call out "Dre"??
As you walk on by
Will you call out "Dre"??
His name is Doctor Dre

His name is Doctor Dre
Will you walk on by?
Come on, call his name
His name is Doctor Dre

I say,
La la la

Don't you... forget about Dre
_{_{_{_don'tdon't}don't}don't}
don't you... forget about dre.

# ¿ May 8, 2017 16:59

deep dish peat moss

Taking a woman out for dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant, when the server comes to take orders your date orders the 7th menu item, titled "SKEWER OF CHICKEN BARG", and you spend the entire rest of the date wondering what the hell Chicken Barg is. You can't hold a conversation, you can't even look her in the eyes. Your mind is racing trying to figure out what the hell she just ordered.

# ¿ May 9, 2017 01:53

deep dish peat moss

Sci-fi insults, like "There must be a wormhole between your rear end and your mouth" but that's the only one I can think of.

# ¿ May 18, 2017 16:30

deep dish peat moss

I labored over that wormhole joke for days and that was the best I could do. There's gotta be something... wormhole/rear end in a top hat... there's something there. Have you got a tapeworm, mate?

# ¿ May 18, 2017 16:47

deep dish peat moss

The US National Anthem sung over the theme song from Tetris.

# ¿ May 18, 2017 17:05

deep dish peat moss

Starman Super DX posted:

oh yeah I'm glad this thread got bumped. I had like a silly sketch like South Park style satire joke although it's not particularly riveting

Like I noticed this thing where middle aged men acquire exercise equipment but never actually use any of it or stop using it and refuse to get rid of it because they might use it in the future (but probably not.)
So I imagined this extremely tongue-in-cheek situation where middle aged men with huge guts are nerding out over collecting expensive and interesting exercise equipment despite never using it. Like there are whole conventions of these guys just talking about how cool their hobby is and discussing all equipment collecting relating things all the while being generally out of shape and gross.

They're building tiny scale models of exercise equipment, they have gym dioramas in their basements

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 19:19

deep dish peat moss

Fat collector dad is taking his fat son in birkenstocks with chocolate smeared on his face to a Gym to see the real thing in action, they sit in the lobby watching really fit men walk by, pointing at them and marveling at each different model. Dad puts his hand on Son's shoulder, points at the reception desk and says "Son, if you work hard and discipline yourself, you could be sitting behind that desk one day."

# ¿ Jun 14, 2017 19:22

deep dish peat moss

Abvertising, where shredded people sell ad space on their ripped abs

# ¿ Jun 20, 2017 19:09

deep dish peat moss

ISIS invading the philippines but it's ISIS of Panopticon fame instead of ISIS of Jihad fame

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 01:51

deep dish peat moss

Saying "That makes 100 percense" when someone says something that makes perfect sense.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2017 21:18

deep dish peat moss

Devil went up to Georgia... gonna eat himself some peaches...

# ¿ Jun 24, 2017 16:01

deep dish peat moss

The devil, standing on a big hill or something overlooking Arkansas for one last time before leaving. A servant imp standing at his feet and holding his own tiny pitchfork asks "Aren't you going to do anything, boss?"

After a long moment of hesitation the Devil snaps his fingers and a stairway to Hell appears behind them, he turns and starts walking and after a heavy sigh says "There's nothing I can do to these people that God didn't do to them first."

# ¿ Jun 27, 2017 21:44

deep dish peat moss

Find a way to make jerky out of crabs and call it Reef Jerky

# ¿ Jun 30, 2017 23:46

deep dish peat moss

My dad would be the best poster in BYOB. Weed threads and surf rock threads and news about his upcoming gigs

# ¿ Jul 12, 2017 03:40

deep dish peat moss

Post hard or die napping

# ¿ Jul 17, 2017 19:45

deep dish peat moss

Sounds like a real titty twister!

# ¿ Jul 28, 2017 20:46

deep dish peat moss

Drinking piss, but not as a sex thing. Because you like the taste.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2017 03:53

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 19:40

deep dish peat moss

An undercover cop who can't stop bragging about being a cop and citing his knowledge of the law

# ¿ Sep 15, 2017 22:12

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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