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Sentencing a guy to execution by firing squad, but it's with Nerf guns and it takes like a couple weeks while he slowly dehydrates and starves while being continuously gently pummeled. The entire time they chant the catch phrase slogan "It's Nerf of Nothin'!" Also, one person has an empty Nerf gun but they don't tell anyone who it is so no one has to feel guilty because of plausible deniability like a traditional firing squad, but it becomes pretty obvious who it is after like half a minute.
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Oct 30, 2022 02:58
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A cowboy walks into a bar, after riding up on a really long horse. After watching him ride up, the puzzled bartender says "Why the long horse?" The cowboy responds to the bartender's "long face" that he has a limousine horse, impossibly long, that maybe a dozen people can ride on it at once. The side saddles have ice chilled champagne. He's got an entourage. They party. Making bad jokes into worse convoluted stupid jokes, I guess? Go for it!
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Nov 8, 2022 10:20
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The Voice of Labor posted:strong bad's all excited for the next limousine horse album to drop I had that old video going through my head when I wrote the joke, lol. Limozeen! https://homestarrunner.com was too good for it's time!
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Nov 9, 2022 20:29
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Three people walk into a bar, but the third one ducked because they were a lurker, and missed the bar post.
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Nov 10, 2022 09:08
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A bartender walks into a horse and his friends. One horse is a priest, one is a rabbi, and one is a minister. The bartender counts them, does some quick addition, and add-ministers them a drink.
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Nov 12, 2022 14:44
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lmao at all of this what have I done
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Nov 16, 2022 11:43
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deep dish peat moss posted:At a party and a waiter asks you if you'd like some Horse Divorce Karate Bastard posted:Serj Tankian busting through the door to ask whether you like These Hors d'oeuvres, These Hors d'oeuvres??????? lol
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Nov 17, 2022 11:42
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canyoneer posted:i have unlocked a dad achievement  I never thought about it but getting a laugh out of the jungle cruise skipper is pretty great. I mean they tell the same old jokes over and over every day, back to back. Some of the skippers are better then others, but thinking of a new "dad joke" they haven't heard or thought of before, when that's pretty much all they do, seems like something I never knew I needed in my life until now lol.
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Nov 19, 2022 12:45
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Larry Cum Free posted:No, he said “I’m here to run the bases and cum on faces”. more falafel please posted:.417/.417/.750, assuming no walks or other extra base hits, that's pretty good. 1.167 OPS is nothing to sneeze at Okay I'm with you fellow baseball friend, and... Finger Prince posted:On-Face Plus Sucking? lol
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Nov 25, 2022 13:46
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Stoner Sloth posted:after building it in a corn/porn field despite everyone saying it was a crazy pipe dream, merely a midlife crisis albeit of mythical proportions?
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Nov 25, 2022 16:03
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American Psycho CAT Scan: FEED ME A STAY CAT
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Nov 25, 2022 19:40
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byob cat scan: gimme a joke about a long horse, with a long face
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Nov 25, 2022 19:41
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Karate Bastard posted:This scans
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Nov 25, 2022 21:55
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The Voice of Labor posted:props to the manzanita bush. imagine being so tough that your seeds won't germinate until they've passed through a bear's digestive tract and been immersed in fire  which is like the number three reason why I don't have offspring after #1. not wanting kids and #2. not getting any. the bear and fire part is less of a hurdle then #2 it seems, lol
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Dec 1, 2022 08:32
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Putting up holiday lights on the roof, clearly visible from the street, where half the roof says "DUMB, LMAO" and the other half is a giant arrow pointing at my neighbor's place.
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Dec 5, 2022 14:35
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Prof. Crocodile posted:Reaching out to my nephews after 30 years and apologizing for the embarrassment that i must have caused them by making empty promises and spreading unsubstantiated gossip while working at Nintendo. A kid telling his friends at school about their uncle that worked at Nintendo, way back like 80 years ago. No one believes his story, despite how much he insists it's true. I recently learned that the company Nintendo (yes that Nintendo) has been around since the late 1800's making playing cards for a really long time until eventually going into video games in the 1970's and early 80's. Initially I called bullshit, but apparently it's true, from multiple sources! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendo Not really a spoiler or much of a joke I guess, just really surprising to me. 
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Dec 25, 2022 10:18
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Viginti Septem posted:Frat bro gets shot by an air marshal when, upon taxiing to the runway, the four pre-flight Jager shots mix with the plate of pork nachos from the food court, causing him to abruptly jump from his seat towards the bathroom yelling out, "oh bro, I've gotta vom!" Classic Vom-Com
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Dec 26, 2022 17:16
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Finger Prince posted:This is kind of a dumb poo poo in your head as soon as you wake up thing too, but: lol
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Jan 11, 2023 17:46
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Prurient Squid posted:You've heard of Han Solo. Now it's time for Ham Solo. A ham smuggler? a byob tradition!
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Jan 13, 2023 22:19
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calhoun posted:clever girl just lmao at her pretending like she knows how to read, acting all smart. there isn't even a cover or a title on that book and it could be upside down or completely blank inside for all we know, you're not fooling anyone!
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Jan 18, 2023 02:07
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