- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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listing a bunch of different ways to get murdered and then saying it's good after each one
ex: most people would get really upset at being shot with a shotgun. the wouldn't like to have their bones crushed and their organs torn up with buckshot. personally i would enjoy it if that happened to me
this is pretty good drat
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Apr 21, 2017 02:16
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May 3, 2024 02:28
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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using Nadsat from A Clockwork Orange and doggospeak at the same time like "viddy this pupper my droogs, it's a horrowshow corgo that's looking a little poogly after this floofy did it a frighten."
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Apr 24, 2017 02:15
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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sounds more like its pretty......CHILL, to me 
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Apr 25, 2017 17:38
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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i like wine
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Apr 25, 2017 17:39
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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a dating show where its speed dating but halfway through all the ladies just casually take their hand out of their lap to reveal theyre holding a revolver. they dont do anything with it though, just kinda hang onto it. i think itd be real interesting
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Apr 29, 2017 18:35
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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so shed rather go to the range than the gallery or the disco?
nah dude they just hang onto it. they go on whatever date they were gonna go on. they just have a gun, in their hand at all times
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Apr 29, 2017 19:16
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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I'll show you a joke not worth making a thread about... if you turn your screen off
thats cold man
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Apr 30, 2017 00:32
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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Halfway thru the movie her internet stops working and all the scary stuff stops, but she also gets really bored from no internet, she has to choose between restarting her router to fix it and risk the scary stuff resuming, or continuing to be bored
whoa when u think about it this is kinda how the internet always works 
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May 9, 2017 19:28
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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an isis video where one of the terrorists keeps making homoerotic threats like "we're going to eat your rear end, america" and the other terrorists try to stop him but he keeps doing it
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Jun 21, 2017 01:35
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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The Devil went down to Georgia but instead of fiddles they use recorders.
wanna hear that version
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Jun 23, 2017 15:09
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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Devil went up to Georgia... gonna eat himself some peaches...
PEACHES COME
FROM A CAN
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Jun 24, 2017 21:39
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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morir es vivir
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Jun 25, 2017 15:25
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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an alternate timeline for the late 90s and early 2000s where instead of smaller and smaller gadgets being the hot trend its bigger and bigger stuff, all massive helmets with cell phones built in and towering monolithic computerboxes
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Jul 25, 2017 21:59
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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"whoops, there goes the old pager!" i say as I hit the chest harness release and carefully step out of my exobackpack, unfolding its glowing green keyboard console
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Jul 26, 2017 21:43
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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"WEED", I yell. "WEED!" I repeat over and over with mad laughter filling in the silence between shouts. "FUCLING WEED." I scream into the nothingness till my voice grows weak and defeated. I look up into a burning sky crying tears of blood. Red streaks stain my visage as I shout into the empty world before me," WEED MAKES ME LAUGH!"
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Jul 27, 2017 14:00
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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thats-a spicy seatbelt!, which doesn't sound very good at, all tb h
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Jul 28, 2017 23:44
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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thought this was gonna be a gag about pawning japan tbh :/
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Jul 29, 2017 19:01
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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blindfolded, i wait in burning anticipation for my lover to drizzle the first drops of hot rendered fat onto my exposed porcelain flesh, an exquisite agony
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Jul 30, 2017 19:01
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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"I didn't know you can handle all those sausages"
"You should see how I'm gonna marinate your beef"
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Jul 30, 2017 19:17
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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Drill Sergeant: WHAT ITS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION!
Me: oh man I'm glad you asked, I really need some one to talk to
*has incredibly kind and affirming discussion that leaves everyone satisfied  *
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Jul 31, 2017 19:19
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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A frustrated person with a sore thumb who doesn't want to draw attention to it
*snickers in extremely 'academe' way*
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Aug 24, 2017 01:52
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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a thread where i purport to explain interesting but obscure subjects, but as the talk goes on u realize it always turns into how to use it smoke weed 
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Aug 28, 2017 20:25
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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adventures in the alternate universe where they DO have to tell u if theyre a cop
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Sep 15, 2017 23:20
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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the movie speed but instead of going fast on a bus you need to harass a certain amount of women each hour on social media or something will explode
this is what was really happening with gamergate fyi
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Sep 21, 2017 22:45
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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it's, uh, a very large system, um, unusually large, which will be lingering over the southern latitudes for a while, it's gonna be a wet afternoon, t-then penetrating towards the warmer interior later this evening *gulps, nervously chuckles without eye contact*
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Sep 24, 2017 20:07
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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Old masters who were rejected from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe
and bernini is a little tooooo into his spear, ifyanowhaddamean
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Sep 27, 2017 15:13
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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(longingly) oh my god, what is that man doing to his anus
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Sep 28, 2017 02:38
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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A workshop thread where we develop convoluted schemes for extremely petty revenge
make the thread, this concept has legs, i mean some EXTREMELY fine gams here
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Sep 28, 2017 19:05
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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Cursed by witches, but still too proud to admit I was wrong.
stephen Kings thinner, but set now so the protagonist is first really psyched and the. goes on to market his gypsy weight loss cure
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Nov 30, 2017 03:13
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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the naturopath community, but it's just medieval medicine with modern slogans
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Dec 5, 2017 01:23
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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Opening up the hood to find out your engine is just a team of sled dogs. They lick your face and bowl you over for pets, but all you can think about is that bastard mechanic who's been lying to you this whole time.
 , friend
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Dec 6, 2017 18:02
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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Petting friendly dogs, feeding them treats, and other scams
Just pet this dog, got to feed it a milk bone after asking permission. Its part of my 'long con' to be a nice person.
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Dec 7, 2017 19:14
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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later, u confuse urself and suddenly realize ur murmuring 'yeah open up, take it all bich' as u gently insert the FIV medicine dropper into ur significant others mouth
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Dec 8, 2017 03:14
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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as u continue reading, u realize the anger is a misplaced emotional deflection of ur fear that u are jon arbuckle 
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Dec 19, 2017 18:08
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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Staring up at a 40 foot banner of a bull penis, "But is it art though?"
My date checks her watch for the seventh time in two minutes.
my friend, everyone knows that if ur date isnt nice/respectful to the art even though the don't have to be that u shouldn't take them on another date
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Dec 22, 2017 20:04
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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timber, the app where trees meet other trees
grindr for trees is a really different thing from human grindr, tho
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Dec 24, 2017 21:28
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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They'll send each other lines like oh baby, I've fallen for you.
"wood"
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Dec 26, 2017 02:21
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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A morning show where the existential dread is creeping in around the edges.
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Dec 30, 2017 07:23
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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*in a smoky room, one yellow lightbulb dangles. the detective gestures angrily at the scrawl-covered map on the wall*
"dammit, don't you see! he HAS to have an accomplice, jack! nobody could commit so many crimes in just one night!"
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Jan 18, 2018 18:08
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May 3, 2024 02:28
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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a sitcom where a fire wizard and a water mage are rooming together, trying to mKe it a s wizards out there. wacky hijinks ensue!
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May 8, 2018 00:28
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Apr 21, 2017 02:16
