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i had a dream that i was in charge of directing a porn film that had to be set to tetris music and now when i try to play tetris i crack up laughing
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Jan 17, 2020 04:01
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- Adbot
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May 20, 2024 17:13
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an "all you eat buffet" where the restaurant owner really doesn't care how much you CAN eat
just eat until you aren't eating then leave, it's completely fine, pal
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Jan 23, 2020 13:15
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*action movie hero breaks a stapler in half*
"just the fax"
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Jan 24, 2020 14:33
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*inserts rum bottle into watermelon*
"you're fired"
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Jan 24, 2020 14:42
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a dragon that breathes fire but also has a medical problem it's really embarrassed about
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Apr 13, 2020 05:03
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magicians get famous for picking up a rabbits
holy mackerel yes
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Apr 14, 2020 00:50
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a turtle that shits a lot so his friends start lightheartedly calling him turdle but then one of them takes it too far by calling him turdhole
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Jun 6, 2020 05:52
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23 minute long progressive rock song that has lyrics that are genuinely deep and meaningful, but the vocalist purposefully pronounces most of the nouns slightly wrong to work people up
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Jun 7, 2020 07:34
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Taking song lyrics and replacing the word "you" with "cats"
this rules
i've also gotten a lot of mileage out of replacing all color names in songs with "brown"
also replace "baby" with "adult"
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Jun 8, 2020 11:01
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knockoff dollar store great northern beans that are called "mediocre center beans" but they become super popular to the point that they completely replace great northerns and then 300 years in the future someone is like "wait these beans don't make sense"
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Jun 21, 2020 14:53
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someone makes a really elaborate real life version of the arcade donkey kong, with all of the tilted girders and hammers and barrels to throw and a real gorilla, then the gorilla predictably just takes a poo poo on the floor and takes a nap
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Jun 22, 2020 01:05
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a thread where people review totally normal items that everyone has in their home as if they were the most contrived, useless, as-seen-on-tv-style bullshit they've ever seen in their lives
total exasperation at paring knives and tape measures
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Jun 30, 2020 04:49
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use d-pad to move cursor to "Difficulty: Normal" but the other option is "Abnormal"
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Jul 5, 2020 06:28
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dressing up like a crowded theater and telling people to yell fire in me
i remembered this post while in the shower a few minutes ago and was laughing too hard to operate a bar of soap
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Jul 5, 2020 07:49
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1890s american vaudeville performances but they're in klingon
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Jul 14, 2020 03:26
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peeing pants at work and hiding the wet spot on pants by starting a fire in a trashcan to set off the sprinklers
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Jul 29, 2020 04:20
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watching a billiards tournament being played with the rarely used full ruleset, known as williamiards
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Aug 4, 2020 15:20
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Aug 8, 2020 13:33
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Trying my hand at writing analog jokes
great handwriting, great egg jokes
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Aug 11, 2020 13:04
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repeatedly f5ing byob every few minutes, despairing at the lack of new threads, not realizing the byob tab has been opened at page 69 instead of page 1 for weeks
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Aug 16, 2020 08:17
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might just have to make extra sure they find me "pot o gold"
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Aug 22, 2020 11:57
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woody from toy story but he's voiced by boomhauer and keeps stepping in poop
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Aug 25, 2020 09:15
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time to convert to geothermal
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Aug 27, 2020 07:20
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john madden giving a really enthusiastic and detailed description of an ear of corn while drawing lines and arrows all over a marker board
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Aug 31, 2020 13:12
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rutger hauer racing, a kart racer where you can select from 60 different rutger hauer characters
pole position lost, like tears in rain
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Sep 20, 2020 23:11
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people going to the firing range to have difficult conversations
"son, your mom and i are getting a *clickBANG* and it *clickBANG* your fault"
"dad... i'm-" *guy in next lane touches off braked .50 bmg* *nothing but tinnitus ringing for 40 years*
40 years later "oh."
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Oct 17, 2020 21:02
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a graphic novel about a guy that makes his living by trolling online recipe reviews by saying he liked the recipe but added made up ingredients like "time limit sauce" and "horseberries" and killing the assassins people send after him for cooking wrong
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Oct 21, 2020 05:20
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a man with many years of ninja training that uses his skills not to kill, but to play really immature pranks on people who think they're untouchable
dropping a huge, rear end-crackling deuce on the emperor's bed while he's sleeping before giggling and vanishing in a cloud of smoke
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Oct 27, 2020 04:42
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Oct 28, 2020 00:23
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as a rule gbs posters (especially mods) refuse to read any part of a thread except the title, so you'd get banned
lol as if a goon is going to miss pie
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Oct 30, 2020 22:31
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calling every nearby shop trying to find a place that stocks prince albert tobacco, befuddled at how rude everyone is being about such a simple question
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Nov 5, 2020 16:52
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a guy getting into all sorts of wacky trouble because he can only pee if he's singing roundabout
*steps up to urinal in crowded restroom* *zzzzzip* THEY MAKE THE CHILDREN REALLY RING I SPEND THE DAY YOUR WAY
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Nov 7, 2020 05:02
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Knee Deep in the Deadpan
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Nov 13, 2020 17:37
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Nov 16, 2020 16:30
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Pabst Participation Award
i want this on a coffee mug
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Nov 17, 2020 18:18
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buying the domain oatmeal.com but using it to sell rice
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Nov 25, 2020 23:29
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Saying "Stay in the car." really seriously in mundane situations
cruising down a straight, featureless highway at 70 mph, no other cars in sight, listening to an audio book
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Nov 29, 2020 04:52
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a mother and daughter switch bodies like in freaky friday but it takes six years for either party to notice
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Dec 11, 2020 10:11
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someone completely misunderstands what ground beef is and invents sky beef out of spite
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Dec 12, 2020 12:18
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May 20, 2024 17:13
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- Dip Viscous
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420 is the number of coupons they mail you each week
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Dec 14, 2020 22:49
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Jan 17, 2020 04:01
