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Breaking News: Top vegan competitive eater literally shits themselves to death
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Apr 20, 2017 04:18
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 10:05 |
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Restaurant 'Fridays' makes bold marketing move by renaming itself 'Everydays' in attempt to bolster sales, depressed single 40+ year old office workers revolt
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Apr 20, 2017 04:21
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Facebook buys YTMND.com for 32 Million, all baby and kid photos are now looped in with short music track
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Apr 20, 2017 06:07
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Apr 21, 2017 04:21
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I was having a party and my neighbor came over and told me to watch the decibles, but I don't even have one bell, let alone ten. |
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May 5, 2017 03:56
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My basketball skills are unrivaled. It comes from diligent training and dedication to the sport on and off the court. (Wife and I about to use the microwave at the same time, I begin flailing elbows and slam my bowl in the device) (garbage bag full of rotten food and molding coffee grounds is tossed by wife into the garbage, out of nowhere I block the trash bag, causing the contents to scatter all over the ground) |
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May 17, 2017 21:13
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You got no game sucka! I'm the man of this house. (Tiny baby learning to crawl is blocked from moving towards toy) |
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May 17, 2017 21:14
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Splatmaster posted:...playing the claw machine for a chance at a stuffed animal plushie Vanisher crab 
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Jun 16, 2017 16:14
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If you accidentally hit an animal with your car, but you're a vegan, it cancels out. Likewise if you steal some money from a bank, but gave money to charity earlier, it cancels out. |
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Jun 25, 2017 03:56
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Starman Super DX posted:Every pregnancy = one murder Tough but fair |
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Jun 25, 2017 05:07
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Twenty Four posted:If you hit too many animals with your car, you might as well just give up being vegan because you are so far in the negatives. I order my meals to eat a herbivore one day, then a carnivore the next, then another herbivore, alternating each day to insure I am in balance. |
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Jun 25, 2017 17:37
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mrbradlymrmartin posted:its generally much healthier to live lower on the food chain -- if you arent a vegetarian you should eat herbivores mainly seem like How do you cancel out if you're a vegan though See they havent thought it through |
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Jun 25, 2017 18:08
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little munchkin posted:brainstorm bad times/places to do the Rick Flair "Woooo!" yell This would be a good thread |
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Jul 17, 2017 05:34
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sebmojo posted:fasten your meatballs kids |
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Jul 28, 2017 23:31
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lol @ making fun of elephants posts
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Aug 15, 2017 05:09
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I'd say I'm more of a glass half full kinda guy (It turns out I'm incredibly demanding and require my spouse keep all beverages offered to me constantly refilled) |
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Aug 26, 2017 17:06
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I've been told im pretty easy (Don't put out) Oh sorry you must have misheard me I said I'm pretty teasy |
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Aug 26, 2017 17:10
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*porn scene playing* "where do you want my sepeople" |
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Sep 3, 2017 07:21
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alnilam posted:naming the main character Sheeple in crono trigger so that at the beginning the first dialog box is crono's mom saying WAKE UP SHEEPLE.... Naming the main character in FF7 Sheeple so that Barret says "The planets dyin' Sheeple" |
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Sep 7, 2017 00:46
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Bruce Wayne to dog: conquer your fears, become fear to your enemies (Dog dressed as a vacuum waits under bush as ups driver runs up driveway with a package) |
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Sep 7, 2017 20:14
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Bruce Wayne's dog to child riding bike who was barked at and is now afraid of dogs: "There's more to me than this..." Child: "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you" |
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Sep 7, 2017 20:35
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Lets make it!got any sevens posted:Alfred gets Bruce Wayne a dog to teach him to love, and Bruce goes ocd trying to maximize the dog's nutrition and exercise and toys Want to make the thread? |
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Sep 7, 2017 20:51
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Jedrick posted:Pulling out a single piece of gum, holding it aloft, and yelling "I have a gum!" in places where it is a bad idea to do so. "This is a stick up" |
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Sep 11, 2017 21:17
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I don't want anyone to think they need a hero. Its 2:30 and you should all have had lunch already. |
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Sep 11, 2017 21:22
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A thread where we make ironic animated gif text owns of eachother (I think this might be too provocative for BYOB) |
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Sep 19, 2017 18:36
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Listen I'm not here to be your friend. I'm here to make hilarious jokes about eating rear end and guess what, if that offends you? Good. Jokes about eating rear end are my litmus test for society. At the doctors office right before my physical examination ill say something like "hey doc, if you like looking at my rear end so much you should just chow down." If I dont get at least a chuckle I'm out the door. When I'm choosing deli meat at the grocery store I might say "you ever pair that seasoned ham with these hams?" as I press my butt against the glass viewing window. Yeah, I know its not as solid a joke but I'd better see a smile or else they just lost a paying customer. |
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Sep 21, 2017 22:48
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alnilam posted:Here's a good joke i don't think anyone's ever thought of before ever: godzilla vs bambi, where it's just like 15 sec long and a giant godzilla foot just comes down and obliterates bambi Then "F'wned" (like Fawn + Pwned) pops up on the screen |
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Oct 6, 2017 21:28
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Your rear end in a top hat pet has secretly mastered speech and the first thing they say is "Its pronounced dahg" |
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Oct 12, 2017 23:31
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Unorthodox lawn care tips from seasoned pros |
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Oct 12, 2017 23:32
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Splatmaster posted:He who controls the Pumpkin Spice, controls the universe! lol |
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Oct 18, 2017 01:41
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Dont you see?? Its a poison! We are addicted and we can't leave this place without taking a piece of it with us. *ladies drinking lattes at starbucks* |
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Oct 18, 2017 01:46
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"Yes, but do you know its meaning?" The meaning of a knife? In the ancient hunting language, knife had meant "Little Rescuer." She seeks a response, delay is as bad as the wrong answer... "It is a Rescuer...." "Aieeeee!!!" |
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Oct 18, 2017 02:24
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Comedian: Cats are funny sometimes... *BYOB crowd gathering their things to leave* |
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Oct 18, 2017 23:09
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You know youve chosen the right contractor when he's 45 minutes late and reeks of weed (Based on actual events) |
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Oct 19, 2017 17:47
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Ready to get serious about self protection? Is your lifted truck and bodybuilding routine not masculine enough for your lifestyle? From the makers of the Tactical Scarf comes Tascticles. These exquisitely crafted steel testicles are made from only the finest Tamahagane steel made in the traditional Japanese style, and their fibre mesh covering is both supple and strong to allow you to wield them similar to Nunchaku. The waist strap comes with an overhang or underhang arrangement for either a more concealed look, or an intimidating bulge visible through a variety of pant styles and fabrics. Don these beauties today, sold at most neighborhood gun shops and Walmart shopping centers.
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Oct 21, 2017 21:42
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Are you an overweight cat that loves to eat? Is it time to add a formidable self defense weapon to your arsenal? Tactical Lasagna might need to be your next purchase. TL comes in a variety of materials and flavor combinations to allow you to render your owner and/or dog friend into a sad faced heap at your whim. Rubber reinforced dish grips or our prepackaged lasagna Meals Ready to Eat options will keep you fully stocked and ready in case society as we know it falls apart, or you just need a snack on the go. Consumption of TL is recommended via dumping into your oversized mouth, or by rapid shoveling motions for optimal effect.
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Oct 21, 2017 23:58
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things your dog would say to you that they think are flattering but only reference positive traits they see in other dogs: "Dude, you can really catch those balls with your mouth"
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Oct 31, 2017 04:12
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when i'm with you, it feels just like i'm tugging you forcefully on an endless walk you're like crunchy ice cubes stolen from a used glass you smell like trash
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Oct 31, 2017 05:04
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Walked into my neighbors house and his thanksgiving decorations seem to feature turkeys and pilgrims prominently. I'm handed a plate of food, but is it turkey or pilgrim flesh?
vanisher fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Nov 3, 2017
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Nov 3, 2017 21:09
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 10:05 |
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If you buy a frozen pilgrim make sure you let it thaw out properly for a day or so. *guy in a pilgrim hat bundled in a blanket drinking cocoa looks nervously at a hungry family watching him* |
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Nov 3, 2017 21:23
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