Aliens

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jarofpiss: May 16, 2009

is this the new posadist thread?

# ? Apr 21, 2017 14:31

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# ? May 5, 2024 00:43

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

im pretty sure earth is loving backwards as gently caress in the eyes of the aliens
our philosophy
our morality
is light years behind theirs
they will ask
why didn't you listen to ron paul? you only needed to listen.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 14:30

deadgoon: Dec 4, 2014; by FactsAreUseless

Baloogan posted:

i also think that there could be viruses zooming around the universe, some sort of signal that makes lifeforms want to build radio telescopes and rebroadcast the signal until the universe is singing the same hymn and whoever is running the sim gets pissed off and shuts us down

is maga a virus

# ? Apr 21, 2017 15:25

StashAugustine: Mar 24, 2013; Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

Jose posted:

the only thing i care about is if i can gently caress the aliens

buddy, they wont even let me gently caress the aliens

# ? Apr 21, 2017 16:43

mysterious frankie: Jan 11, 2009; This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.

Imagine Trump trying to impress aliens with various boasts about gold buildings and voter turnout. They're all like, "We traveled countless light years to sp-" and then he cuts them off to tell them about how he has a golf course in Scotland, and it's the best.

Now imagine he gets really mad at the aliens when they don't seem duly impressed by his hot daughter or whatever, so he send several aircraft carriers into space in order to send em a message. Just launches the fuckers, unmodified for space flight and fully crewed, into the void.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 17:58

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

mysterious frankie posted:

Imagine Trump trying to impress aliens with various boasts about gold buildings and voter turnout. They're all like, "We traveled countless light years to sp-" and then he cuts them off to tell them about how he has a golf course in Scotland, and it's the best.

Now imagine he gets really mad at the aliens when they don't seem duly impressed by his hot daughter or whatever, so he send several aircraft carriers into space in order to send em a message. Just launches the fuckers, unmodified for space flight and fully crewed, into the void.

i think ive seen this anime

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:03

CAROL: Oct 29, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_b-5GAdC6U

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:07

mysterious frankie: Jan 11, 2009; This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.

Baloogan posted:

i think ive seen this anime

*Aliens watch aircraft carrier full of screaming dying navy men, all banging on the glass as they freeze and asphyxiate, go cruising by their departing spacecraft*

Alien: Yeah, let's never go back there again.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:07

ymgve: Jan 2, 2004; Offensive Clock

Baloogan posted:

or, another scenario

earth's neutrino detectors go nuts, receiving some sort of binary code, on off on off 01011100101110111010001010
the data is recorded even though the neutrino scientists are pissed that someone is loving up their experiments. the stream of neutrinos seem to come from the core of the milky way
scientists around the world get to work cracking the code, years go by with zero progress decoding whatever it is, the public loses interest quickly
the transmission ends
we still don't know whatever the gently caress

eons later, post-humanity finally arives at the source of the neutrino signals and finds out that it was just some insect level alien species with no intelligence that spewed out neutrinos as part of their biochemical process

loving space fireflies

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:24

Zajajaja: Jan 10, 2008

mysterious frankie posted:

*Aliens watch aircraft carrier full of screaming dying navy men, all banging on the glass as they freeze and asphyxiate, go cruising by their departing spacecraft*

Alien: Yeah, let's never go back there again.

With just a little modification i'm sure we can take the fight right to those xeno bastards

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:41

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:43

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:48

mysterious frankie: Jan 11, 2009; This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.

Zajajaja posted:

With just a little modification i'm sure we can take the fight right to those xeno bastards

Paint it gold and I'll sign whatever budget proposal you put on my desk.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 18:51

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

I like the idea we're so hell-bent on killing each other it stopped humans getting into space and aliens will only realise this after sharing the technology for it

# ? Apr 21, 2017 19:34

Shear Modulus: Jun 9, 2010

the only messengers we need to talk the aliens are these two bad boys right here (i show my fists that have MARX and ENGELS tattooed on the knuckles)

# ? Apr 21, 2017 19:37

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

who wins in a fight? grays or nordics?

# ? Apr 21, 2017 19:38

Shear Modulus: Jun 9, 2010

the ENGELS is all scrunched up to fit

# ? Apr 21, 2017 19:38

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

Baloogan posted:

# ? Apr 21, 2017 19:47

Zajajaja: Jan 10, 2008

Jose posted:

I like the idea we're so hell-bent on killing each other it stopped humans getting into space and aliens will only realise this after sharing the technology for it

Theres a whole series about this actually, p cool read but its very AMERICA gently caress YEAH.
"The Road Not Taken" by Harry Turtledove. Ends with an alien crying about how hosed they are all now that humans have space rides.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 19:58

Shear Modulus: Jun 9, 2010

is harry turtledove the lost cause alt history writer

# ? Apr 21, 2017 19:59

The Saucer Hovers: May 16, 2005

What if it's bees and all the leaders of the world have to learn silly wiggle butt dances?

# ? Apr 21, 2017 21:58

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

# ? Apr 21, 2017 22:01

Trumps Baby Hands: Mar 27, 2016; Silent white light filled the world. And the righteous and unrighteous alike were consumed in that holy fire.

One of my deeply paranoid aquantences believed that Hillary Clinton was going to use her power as leader of the free world to stage a massive "alien invasion" via holograms. She would use this E.T. false flag to bring humanity under one banner in a unified yet tyrannical New World Order

It is possible that Trump saved us from that

# ? Apr 21, 2017 22:02

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

She did dress very science fictiony. And she can't describe why she wants to run. She has a fanatical circle of insiders. Support of the American Deep State, and the Soroses of the world.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 22:06

The Saucer Hovers: May 16, 2005

It's like the finale of Childhood's End but instead children dancing humanity into the infinite it's just people of color really getting along with the bees.

# ? Apr 21, 2017 22:10

CAROL: Oct 29, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Blindsight is good

# ? Apr 21, 2017 22:46

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

just finished reading it myself, shorter than I thought it would be!

# ? Apr 21, 2017 22:48

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

Baloogan posted:

just finished reading it myself, shorter than I thought it would be!

you can read?

# ? Apr 21, 2017 22:51

CAROL: Oct 29, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

I also enjoyed the sequel although not as much

# ? Apr 21, 2017 22:53

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

bump_fn posted:

you can read?

my recommendation for the c-spam book club was the one selected by 2 rounds of voting
of course i can read

blindsight :drac:

# ? Apr 21, 2017 23:04

Hodgepodge: Jan 29, 2006; Can't post for 236 days!

A single majestic vessel glides out of orbit over Washington and hovers gracefully over the National Mall. A ramp extends and a lithe being ventures forth. To an awed onlooker it pronounces "we have seen your cattes on the Joo-Toobe and have come to offer tribute unto them."

# ? Apr 21, 2017 23:07

Hodgepodge: Jan 29, 2006; Can't post for 236 days!

"Furthermore, who is a good boy? Your dogges are good boys!"

# ? Apr 21, 2017 23:11

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

"We find that humans enslave other, lesser, species. Thus you should have no complaints that we shall now enslave you!"

# ? Apr 21, 2017 23:21

CAROL: Oct 29, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

we basically just wanted to gently caress w this guy fermi we heard some things about sorry bye

# ? Apr 21, 2017 23:26

Lindsey O. Graham: Dec 31, 2016; "We're not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term."

- The Chief

steinrokkan posted:

Aliens arrive
Alien leader extends his graceful hand towards Earth's delegate and whispers "Teach me what makes you human"
A single tear rolls down the human's cheek, then he replies emotionally: "I'm not here to educate you, shitlord!"

pitch perfect
that is exactly how it would go down

# ? Apr 22, 2017 00:46

Lindsey O. Graham: Dec 31, 2016; "We're not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term."

- The Chief

Trumps Baby Hands posted:

One of my deeply paranoid aquantences believed that Hillary Clinton was going to use her power as leader of the free world to stage a massive "alien invasion" via holograms. She would use this E.T. false flag to bring humanity under one banner in a unified yet tyrannical New World Order

It is possible that Trump saved us from that