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Goons have gone on dates, which in turn means that there is a high likelihood some of those dates were stone cold awful. Maybe it was because you were terrible, or maybe it was because the other person was terrible. No matter, let's share. A girl I was friends with in high school set me up to go out with her cousin that I had never met. I picked her up at her house the day before I was leaving for my 2nd year of college to go to a movie. She wasn't great looking, but not terrible either, but as soon as we sat down to watch the movie she grabs my hand and holds it the whole show, while snuggling up to me and poo poo. Pretty weird. I talk to a girl I see at the bars sometimes and end up asking her out. She agrees and I go to her place where she says she's going to drive on our date. Doesn't bother me, sounds great. We end up driving to one of the next towns over where our first date is spent having dinner with her whole immediate family. A buddy of mine has a girlfriend that sets me on with a friend of hers and we go to meet her at this bar. She is small, pretty, and seems nice! We are having a lively discussion about the differences between men and women when my buddy says "All women are crazy". My 'date' freezes up and goes "What do you mean by that?!". The mood changes immediately and they go back and forth about the mental stability of women. She decides it's time for her to leave and we all bid her farewell. As soon as she leaves, by pals girlfriend gets all up in his poo poo about saying that. After she settles down she explains to us that her friend; my 'date', was recently released back into society from spending a considerable amount of time in a mental hospital. Thanks lady! (I did still end up sleeping with that girl a few times and she really was crazy) Asked this girl out in my later days of college who was all into abstract art dressed all goofy and poo poo but was pretty hot. I was just a regular dude that wore jeans and tshirts all the time and I never actually thought this liberal artsy weirdo would accept, but she did. I go pick her up and make her chicken stir fried rice. She's watching me make all this while chit chatting with me, then after I make her plate she says she's a vegetarian and doesn't eat anything. Ok. So after I awkwardly eat my dinner we walk to this party. We go upstairs in this building and enter a small apartment full of free thinker weirdo's and art majors. She immediately takes off and starts floating around the party hugging and chatting it up with everyone. The only thing there to drink was this weird green punch poo poo with a dash of vodka in it. I get a cup and mill about for a while before I end up sitting down and watching people. The girl says nothing to me the entire time. Eventually some dude comes up to me and gives me some flowers because he thought I was cute and also felt terrible for me. When we leave, she brings along some other dude and we walk back toward where my place was, when we got to the alleyway where you'd turn down to go to my studio apartment was, she just kept walking with the other guy, didn't say a word to me. I'm sure you guys have better ones than these.
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Apr 24, 2017 02:06
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:00 |
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Went out with an autistic girl. Cute, half-Korean half-Irish, all-american. Freckles. I think the word "autistic" tells you all you really need to know about how it went.
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Apr 24, 2017 02:14
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Sounds like it really sucked being home schooled OP.
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Apr 24, 2017 02:16
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I once hooked up with this girl and we went back to her basement suite and were drinking and fooling around on this concrete patio kinda thing out the back of the place and I needed to go piss and she told me go through that room turn right/left etc I went into the room and it was pitch black except for the light from a monitor sitting on top of 3 plastic milk crates that illuminated the face of a 10 year old korean kid that I think she was babysitting or something? And he was playing brood war and I was like hey haha make sure you put your lurkers on the top of the ramp uh *cough* and then I went piss and it was really hosed up tbh
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Apr 24, 2017 02:17
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I'm not terribly fond of July 17th.
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Apr 24, 2017 02:17
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Went out with a girl. Cute, half-Korean half-Irish, all-american. Freckles. I think the word "autistic" tells you all you really need to know about how it went. makes sense
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Apr 24, 2017 02:19
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Apr 24, 2017 02:19
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Who What Now posted:I'm not terribly fond of July 17th. wow what a wacky response it's like words can mean more than one thing!!!
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Apr 24, 2017 02:20
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500 good dogs posted:makes sense I never said I wasn't autistic too. I mean, I post in the Star Trek thread, it's kind of a given. On the other hand, I can watch R-rated movies without giggling like a child. She's pretty though, so I think we're about equal.
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Apr 24, 2017 02:24
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I once took a poo poo in a date's oven and wiped my rear end with her potholders because she kept taking phonecalls from her ex and leaving the room. I won't stand for that kind of inconsiderate behavior.
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Apr 24, 2017 02:25
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500 good dogs posted:wow what a wacky response it's like words can mean more than one thing!!! Thanks, I worked really hard on it and its heartening to see it is well recieved. 
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Apr 24, 2017 02:25
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Who What Now posted:Thanks, I worked really hard on it and its heartening to see it is well recieved. You should put some of that effort into your spelling and grammar!
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Apr 24, 2017 02:27
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When I was a teenager me and this girl went to the mall to go get some food and see a movie and when we were in the food court we ran into a mutual friend from school who was wasted and stumbling around the mall alone and she refused to go see the movie with us so we had to babysit her instead so that she didn't start shoplifting and get arrested for shoplifting again.
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Apr 24, 2017 02:29
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Apr 24, 2017 02:32
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Apr 24, 2017 02:32
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Teeheehee
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Apr 24, 2017 02:34
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She was afraid of pigeons, so we had to cross the street a lot to get anywhere.
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Apr 24, 2017 02:36
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Cute, half-Korean half-Irish, all-american. Freckles. At one point in my life, this was the holy grail of looks. Hell it might still be fuckkkkk
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Apr 24, 2017 02:42
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all my dates get mad at me for not wearing pants, like man
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Apr 24, 2017 02:49
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signalnoise posted:At one point in my life, this was the holy grail of looks. Hell it might still be Yeah it really felt like I'd hit the jackpot for a few minutes, like a higher power was looking out for me. Then we started talking. Never letting a family member try and set me up again, just gonna be myself at the local pub and ask ladies if they want to come back to my place and do dabs* and watch deep space nine. *dabs was a dumb meme but its a good way to get filled with THC really quick
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Apr 24, 2017 02:55
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you want dabs i got the dabs donut man dont u worry https://puu.sh/udLFS/ca1f89680c.mp4
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Apr 24, 2017 02:58
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I was on a date that I didn't realize was a date until I showed up and the girl had lipstick on. I was like oh, I thought we were just hangin out, but I didn't say that. I probably could have had a decent relationship with her, but honestly I was still uncomfortable being touched at the time, so I didn't even hold her hand. Another girl asked me out too, and I went on a date with her knowing it was a date, but again I wasn't comfortable being touched nor did I know how to deal with social poo poo in general, so I didn't compliment her even once. That ended poorly for me, especially cause I thought she was incredibly attractive. I ended up marrying the 2nd girl I ever had a dating relationship with for more than 2 months. Social awkwardness is pretty rad
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Apr 24, 2017 02:58
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Putty posted:you want dabs i got the dabs donut man dont u worry I'm on my ipad so the video wont play but I just wanted to say thank you for not calling me donut boy.
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Apr 24, 2017 03:01
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Went on a date with a girl in College. Went out to a restaurant and everything was pretty fine. Then at the end of the date, we end up leaving through a different way than we came in and it goes past this old spiral staircase, and things get weird: Girl "It's sad" Me "What is?" Girl "The woman that killed herself here" Me "What?" Girl "A woman threw herself down this stairwell to kill herself. Her ghost is still here" It was a strange end to an otherwise normal date.
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Apr 24, 2017 03:09
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Nigmaetcetera posted:I never said I wasn't autistic too. I mean, I post in the Star Trek thread Oh, so the autistic part didn't ruin it, she just wasn't young enough.
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Apr 24, 2017 03:13
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One day all I ate was expired lemonade and Andy caps hot fries. Later I went with this chick to a restaurant and the food was kinda bad. As we were leaving it hit me: I had some kind of food poisoning. So I'm driving back and I'm pretty sure she wants to make out but I'm getting paler and paler and sweating pretty hard. I make up some excuse and took her home and drive to my parent's because it's closer. I very carefully got out of my car and go in as quick as I can. I walk in the front door and immediately poo poo myself in front of my little brother and mom and dad. Anyway that chick is having a kid with her boyfriend now.
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Apr 24, 2017 03:16
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Mammal Sauce posted:Oh, so the autistic part didn't ruin it, she just wasn't young enough. No she just didn't have enough dumb poo poo glued to her forehead
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Apr 24, 2017 03:17
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SniperWoreConverse posted:One day all I ate was expired lemonade and Andy caps hot fries. You dodged a bullet there my friend. Back in the day there was this shop in the mall called 'Structure' that sold fancy high dollar poo poo. I asked a girl out that worked there one day and she accepted. I pick her up and we go driving around because I'm a lovely date and we go over this bridge near my house that goes over a creek that my family owns. This girl starts telling me how sometimes her and her friends come out here and party under that bridge. Instead of capitalizing on that coincidence I start chewing her rear end about trespassing and how I better not find her or her rear end in a top hat friends down there. Around that time the date ended. PureEvil6_13 fucked around with this message at 03:30 on Apr 24, 2017 |
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Apr 24, 2017 03:23
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PotatoManJack posted:Went on a date with a girl in College. Went out to a restaurant and everything was pretty fine. Then at the end of the date, we end up leaving through a different way than we came in and it goes past this old spiral staircase, and things get weird: Closest I had to a date was my girlfriend in high school. We knew each other for years since we grew up in special ed together ever since primary school, so we were already kinda close. We mutually understood that this was really just "practice dating" so we hung out, bought drinks, smooched like dorks. Worst date we had though was when some guys jumped us at school calling us "retards" and they beat the poo poo out of me. I mean it was an awful date but, it wasn't awful because of her, she was alright luckily because I took most of the beating when I fought back.
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Apr 24, 2017 03:34
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Hell yeah, Structure story. When I was like 17, I went to get some clothes there for a job interview. Compared to present day, I was ridiculously attractive at the time. The woman working there who was probably like 25 was flirting with me pretty hard, and when I went to pay I pulled out my mom's credit card to pay and had to show my license. The woman was visibly disappointed/upset/somethingbad. Made me feel pretty lovely and good at the same time. She looked pretty good to a young, impressionable signalnoise, but I knew how it was going to end before we got to that point.  I suppose it's possible she was just the best retail service employee ever, but that wouldn't explain that face.
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Apr 24, 2017 03:41
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I met a girl on tinder and on the second date she gave me a sob story about her ex-husband left her. Turns out she drowned their infant child in the bathtub because jesus told her to do so. I am not kidding in the least.
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Apr 24, 2017 04:10
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Applesnots posted:I met a girl on tinder and on the second date she gave me a sob story about her ex-husband left her. Turns out she drowned their infant child in the bathtub because jesus told her to do so. I am not kidding in the least.
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Apr 24, 2017 04:34
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Applesnots posted:I met a girl on tinder and on the second date she gave me a sob story about her ex-husband left her. Turns out she drowned their infant child in the bathtub because jesus told her to do so. I am not kidding in the least. wooph
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Apr 24, 2017 04:52
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Applesnots posted:I met a girl on tinder and on the second date she gave me a sob story about her ex-husband left her. Turns out she drowned their infant child in the bathtub because jesus told her to do so. I am not kidding in the least. shoulda slammed. at least you know you wouldn't have to worry about raising a kid
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Apr 24, 2017 04:54
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Molothecat posted:shoulda slammed. at least you know you wouldn't have to worry about raising a kid it's still a bummer to lower one 
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Apr 24, 2017 04:56
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Applesnots posted:I met a girl on tinder and on the second date she gave me a sob story about her ex-husband left her. Turns out she drowned their infant child in the bathtub because jesus told her to do so. I am not kidding in the least.
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Apr 24, 2017 04:57
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Applesnots posted:I met a girl on tinder and on the second date she gave me a sob story about her ex-husband left her. Turns out she drowned their infant child in the bathtub because jesus told her to do so. I am not kidding in the least. close the thread. jesus christ.
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Apr 24, 2017 05:00
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I once took a girl home from the bar to a house party at my place. I passed out drunk and she slept with my house mate 
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Apr 24, 2017 05:07
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i once went to a chick's house. we got drunk a did a bit of coke, and then i got a cut on my finger somehow..
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Apr 24, 2017 05:12
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Went out with an autistic girl. Cute, half-Korean half-Irish, all-american. Freckles. I think the word "autistic" tells you all you really need to know about how it went. 'autistic' doesn't really tell us much at all.
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Apr 24, 2017 05:15
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