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i went on a tinder date with a boring valley girl and wasn't feeling it at all so i told her i had to go home but i really went to a different bar instead and then while i was waiting to order a drink at the second bar i saw her come in so i snuck out the back and jumped over the fence
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Apr 24, 2017 15:30
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Malthuras posted:I took out two different girls that could not have a conscious thought or opinion. They were probably conditioned to be demure or some poo poo like that. If talking back gave them bad dating experiences the first few times, or they have a mom who reminds them before every date to "be nice". Casimir Radon posted:Loudly "joking" about it in public is a major red flag. Definitely. It's like code to find someone who agrees with you, but leaving you the option to back out if your conversation partner doesn't.
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Apr 24, 2017 16:05
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I once went on a date with a chick who laughed when I called a bunch of 9 year olds cocksuckers for shooting slingshots at a Street lamp. I actually screamed "Knock it off you little COCKSUCKERS!!!" And she laughed and laughed. That woman decided to agree to marry me even though I was awful. Thanks for reading my story!
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Apr 24, 2017 16:19
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she kissed by cupping my mouth with hers and undulating her tongue, like she had only vaguely skimmed the concept minutes before and that's how she decided to wing it. she put on minions while we attempted the bone down and that movie really did a number on my dingus
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Apr 24, 2017 16:21
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she meowed like a cat throughout the entire gently caress
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Apr 24, 2017 16:23
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I once met a guy from off OKC. He showed up late, was obviously sclubbier than his picture, and his hair had a greasy sheen. Anyway, we end up talking for about three hours, but after about 20 minutes it's just because I am fascinated by just how badly a date can go. He tells me about his many failures, how everything disappoints him, how he doesn't like his job and wants to quit and just read comics all day. He then moves on to all the things he is good at, and tells me his highschool teacher told him he was "good at commas". He doesn't drop any indications that he's actually accomplished in any way, there were no awards or anything of that sort. The conversation then moves to him telling me about all of his exes and wanting reassurance that I am not like them, with specifics. He awkwardly tries to figure out if I have any money. At the end, he tells me his idea for a novel, which is the exact premise of Early Edition but with google, and instead of CBS heartthrob Kyle Chandler using his knowledge of tomorrow's paper to save bingo ladies from anacondas, it is about an rear end in a top hat with eerie similarities to my date using this power to enrich himself and get a supermodel girlfriend... but is he fulfilled?! He hasn't come up with the second half of the book, and when asked what the theme is he says "superiority". I tell him I had a "nice time" and that I have to go. He says, "that's it?" and stands there fuming like the Arthur clenched fist meme as I go. I get into my car and burst into laughter, because in the span of three hours, he never asked my name.
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Apr 24, 2017 16:23
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she was nervous and launched cane sugar soda all over the floor and then again over the person that was cleaning up the soda and then she took the ends off all her french fries before she ate them and built a strange lil french fry end mountain
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Apr 24, 2017 16:24
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Wangsbig posted:she meowed like a cat throughout the entire gently caress Be honest: was she a cat?
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Apr 24, 2017 16:25
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Pick posted:I once met a guy from off OKC. He showed up late, was obviously sclubbier than his picture, and his hair had a greasy sheen. Anyway, we end up talking for about three hours, but after about 20 minutes it's just because I am fascinated by just how badly a date can go. He tells me about his many failures, how everything disappoints him, how he doesn't like his job and wants to quit and just read comics all day. He then moves on to all the things he is good at, and tells me his highschool teacher told him he was "good at commas". He doesn't drop any indications that he's actually accomplished in any way, there were no awards or anything of that sort. The conversation then moves to him telling me about all of his exes and wanting reassurance that I am not like them, with specifics. He awkwardly tries to figure out if I have any money. At the end, he tells me his idea for a novel, which is the exact premise of Early Edition but with google, and instead of CBS heartthrob Kyle Chandler using his knowledge of tomorrow's paper to save bingo ladies from anacondas, it is about an rear end in a top hat with eerie similarities to my date using this power to enrich himself and get a supermodel girlfriend... but is he fulfilled?! He hasn't come up with the second half of the book, and when asked what the theme is he says "superiority". I tell him I had a "nice time" and that I have to go. He says, "that's it?" and stands there fuming like the Arthur clenched fist meme as I go. I get into my car and burst into laughter, because in the span of three hours, he never asked my name. Mods please change my name to "good at commas". Goddamn that is the most banal poo poo.
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Apr 24, 2017 16:27
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she showed up and had a noticeable hump not visible in her pictures. like a quasimodo hump
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Apr 24, 2017 16:30
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Did a few OKC dates in a local college town after I was out of school. This involved me being 24 and dating girls that were still in the middle of school. I took this one girl out and she insisted that we go to the local dive bar for the first date. Didn't really bother me much, because hey, cheap beer and food makes for a cheap date. She probably knew every guy in there and constantly stopped conversations to say hello to the random passerby and talk to them for like 5 minutes at a time. Then she got drunk and proceeded to complain about how she works 80 hours a week trying to get through grad school and how she was sexually abused by her dad growing up. I did feel sorry for her, but man she had a lot of issues. I eventually paid for a cab to get her home. Don't know what became of her later but I'm guessing she was a severe alcoholic with emotional issues.
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Apr 24, 2017 16:31
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Vargatron posted:Did a few OKC dates in a local college town after I was out of school. This involved me being 24 and dating girls that were still in the middle of school middle of schoolers?! 
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Apr 24, 2017 16:32
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I met a girl on OKC once that pretty much hit all the checkboxes for hipster record store girl, We went out to a bar and its was the most boring thing ever since i know nothing about indie music, and apparently was the only thing she wanted to talk about, so i emergency called my single friend who was into indie music, waited for him to show up and then just went home.
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Apr 24, 2017 16:32
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Every girl I've slept with the first night I've eventually cut contact with for reasons that have zero to do with them having sex the first night.
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Apr 24, 2017 16:34
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damnit which ones are originals and which ones are c/ps REVEAL YOUR SECRET THREAD *throws holy water*
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Apr 24, 2017 16:34
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sneakyfrog posted:I met a girl on OKC once that pretty much hit all the checkboxes for hipster record store girl, We went out to a bar and its was the most boring thing ever since i know nothing about indie music, and apparently was the only thing she wanted to talk about, so i emergency called my single friend who was into indie music, waited for him to show up and then just went home. So did they get married or what???
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Apr 24, 2017 16:34
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Izzhov posted:So did they get married or what??? nah but i had a much better date the next day, and the story was a pretty good icebreaker for that date
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Apr 24, 2017 16:36
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new phone who dis posted:Mods please change my name to "good at commas". Goddamn that is the most banal poo poo. He also was visibly ruffled that I was smart and was caught in the "this threatens me/I want to own this" trap. Anyway, he decided to express this by saying "Well, don't you think you're smart?" and I laughed and said, "Ha ha, yeah, I am really smart.  "
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Apr 24, 2017 16:37
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i woke up in the middle of the night because he was using his full strength to choke me like legs on either side of my chest, really leaning into it
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Apr 24, 2017 16:40
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I wasn't on a date with the guy as such, but he said to me that if men decided to enslave women again he'd "take me and keep me safe"
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Apr 24, 2017 16:42
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Apr 24, 2017 16:43
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ew.
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Apr 24, 2017 16:43
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i met some girl on a site and agreed to meet her at a local brewery. i got there about an hour early and pounded a bunch of beers to see how much she'd tolerate some drunk guy being an idiot. the answer: way long than she should have. that date was probably awful for her.
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Apr 24, 2017 16:43
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Pick posted:I wasn't on a date with the guy as such, but he said to me that if men decided to enslave women again he'd "take me and keep me safe" "I already have the shipping container prepared!"
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Apr 24, 2017 16:44
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Pick posted:I wasn't on a date with the guy as such, but he said to me that if men decided to enslave women again he'd "take me and keep me safe" "Again"? Either he's witnessed some crazy poo poo or he's misremembering his ancient history classes. Either way not a good start. Nor end. Nor middle, really.
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Apr 24, 2017 16:52
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CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:i met some girl on a site and agreed to meet her at a local brewery. tbh that was probably one of her better dates
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Apr 24, 2017 16:53
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new phone who dis posted:"I already have the shipping container prepared!" He was another one of those m'lady types who is so loving gross, self-centered, and dense that he thinks he should get backpats for calling dibs on women in preparation for his hentai premise to play out
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Apr 24, 2017 16:54
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Pick posted:I wasn't on a date with the guy as such, but he said to me that if men decided to enslave women again he'd "take me and keep me safe" Ah jeez Pick we agreed not to talk about our date again 
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Apr 24, 2017 16:55
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Let the man who isn't mentally cataloguing his list of post-apocalyptic gently caress-slaves throw the first stone.
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Apr 24, 2017 17:01
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Deltasquid posted:"Again"? Either he's witnessed some crazy poo poo or he's misremembering his ancient history classes. likely just watched the first episode of the new Handmaids Tale series
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Apr 24, 2017 17:03
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new phone who dis posted:Let the man who isn't mentally cataloguing his list of post-apocalyptic gently caress-slaves throw the first stone. Joke's on him because that tubby idiot is top of my list to cut up for the larder under similar scenarios.
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Apr 24, 2017 17:02
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Pick posted:Joke's on him because that tubby idiot is top of my list to cut up for the larder under similar scenarios. 
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Apr 24, 2017 17:03
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Ew, I prefer my long pork low fat you weirdos.
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Apr 24, 2017 17:05
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Pick posted:Joke's on him because that tubby idiot is top of my list to cut up for the larder under similar scenarios. He needs a laminated card in his wallet like Ross from Friends of the women he's going to keep in his gross sex dungeon so he can impress them with it's permanence.
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Apr 24, 2017 17:06
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got my dick destroyed by a really boring date in the back of my small impreza (I am 6'6", by the way) she left scabs and scars on my penis. After a while, I just gave up and half fell-asleep during sex because I had just wanted to go home for like 2 hours at that point. I think she ghosted me because she thought I sucked at sex lmao.
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Apr 24, 2017 17:14
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jfc what grit was that vagina
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Apr 24, 2017 17:15
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Pick posted:middle of schoolers?! Yes, I literally captured them from homeroom.
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Apr 24, 2017 17:15
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This girl I went out for coffee with didn't like my talk about parallel universes in Super Mario 64. The nerve.
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Apr 24, 2017 17:15
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Putty posted:This girl I went out for coffee with didn't like my talk about parallel universes in Super Mario 64. The nerve. i hope you immediately cut off all contact, this is the type of dating horror story that keeps me (voluntarily) celibate.
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Apr 24, 2017 17:18
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9/11 op
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Apr 24, 2017 17:22
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