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I guess this was about two years ago, I picked up this guy at a bar and took him home. He was cute, I was horny and drunk so when he told me he had been to rehab for meth addiction I didn't think too much of it. I mean I'm gay in a big city and into the bar scene, I know people that have had meth addictions before, they aren't unfuckable. He was cute, clean, good body, all his teeth and they were clean, meh, we all make mistakes. So I take him home and gently caress him and pass out at some point from the alcohol. Well, when I say pass out I mean I blacked out at some point. He's gone, the sex was good, he didn't steal from me, not too bad. Until I went to the bathroom and picked up a shirt to put in the hamper and found a syringe under it. Empty with just dark stuff that looked like blood in it. Freaked out, put it in a metal container, then in a bigger plastic box, then in a metal cookie tin, then in a bigger box and then in an ever bigger box and threw it in the trash. Went to work and then I got a itch on my arm, probably a mosquito bite or something. And then I noticed it was right over a vain and it kept itching and unconsciously itching it. And remember the syringe. And blacking out. And I'm not the kind of person that would ever do injectable drugs but oh my god I completely blacked out, I don't remember really anything after loving him. So yeah, that was a fun 12 weeks convincing myself that the meth addict that I took home from a bar to gently caress might have injected me or I blacked out and injected myself with meth, looking up pictures and video to see if it was even a place you would inject drugs (It apparently was) while I waited for an HIV test.
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Apr 25, 2017 21:56
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Three Olives posted:I guess this was about two years ago, I picked up this guy at a bar and took him home. He was cute, I was horny and drunk so when he told me he had been to rehab for meth addiction I didn't think too much of it. I mean I'm gay in a big city and into the bar scene, I know people that have had meth addictions before, they aren't unfuckable. He was cute, clean, good body, all his teeth and they were clean, meh, we all make mistakes.
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Apr 25, 2017 22:03
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Three Olives posted:I guess this was about two years ago, I picked up this guy at a bar and took him home. He was cute, I was horny and drunk so when he told me he had been to rehab for meth addiction I didn't think too much of it. I mean I'm gay in a big city and into the bar scene, I know people that have had meth addictions before, they aren't unfuckable. He was cute, clean, good body, all his teeth and they were clean, meh, we all make mistakes. This is a legitimately harrowing tale 3o, Jesus
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Apr 25, 2017 22:07
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I've been a bug chaser for the past 5 or 6 years. I'm always looking for attractive men with rare strains of the HIV virus. If you're positive Three Olives we should talk 
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Apr 25, 2017 22:10
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DeathSandwich posted:One of the first dates I ever went on in high school was with a gal who after we got back from dinner and a movie and went to make out for a little bit discovered I was ticklish along my ribs. She would not stop tickling me even when it stopped being fun and started hurting. She tickled me so much she actually made me vomit. After I went to the bathroom and cleaned up, she wanted to do it again. I have sent deadly tickle assassins to your house get ready
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Apr 25, 2017 22:14
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Three Olives posted:I guess this was about two years ago, I picked up this guy at a bar and took him home. He was cute, I was horny and drunk so when he told me he had been to rehab for meth addiction I didn't think too much of it. I mean I'm gay in a big city and into the bar scene, I know people that have had meth addictions before, they aren't unfuckable. He was cute, clean, good body, all his teeth and they were clean, meh, we all make mistakes. lmao 3o hosed roboshit
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Apr 25, 2017 23:11
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Robot Randy posted:lmao 3o hosed roboshit
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Apr 25, 2017 23:12
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DeathSandwich posted:One of the first dates I ever went on in high school was with a gal who after we got back from dinner and a movie and went to make out for a little bit discovered I was ticklish along my ribs. She would not stop tickling me even when it stopped being fun and started hurting. She tickled me so much she actually made me vomit. After I went to the bathroom and cleaned up, she wanted to do it again. I had a friend with a serious sadistic streak who would do this sort of stuff to me but I was into it so I didn't mind. I'll also add my name to the list of bartenders who've had graveyard sex. Idk what the correlation is but it was a good time. Bad dates: a girl who practically fought me so I wouldn't pay for her coffee then drank half of it before announcing she had to leave (tbh she was way hotter than I deserved and I was stoned when I got to the coffee shop so I don't blame her). Started talking to a girl on MySpace (this was over a decade ago) who lived in the country. Eventually she comes to the city to spend the weekend with me, we go to a friend's party and my date got so drunk she puked, picked a fight with another girl and declared her love for me. I took her home and the next day dropped her off at the train station after explaining that she was a bit too intense and it would probably be better if we didn't see each other again. When she got home she wrote a bunch of stuff on my MySpace page about how she had the best time ever and she loved me, etc and also sent a bunch of vicious messages to the girl from the party that she picked a fight with. I had to threaten to take legal action to make her leave me alone. Was meant to be meeting up with a girl, she texted me and said she was waiting and hoped I wouldn't walk past her and ignore her when I saw her irl. She was quite overweight, bad hair, bad skin, covered in self-harm scars. Just  personified. We went to the beach and shared some fries while she told me about her nightmare life, there was no second date.More recently, I was banging this girl I met at a party and she told me she loved me while I was fisting her then farted on my balls while we were loving. I'll probably see her again.
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Apr 25, 2017 23:18
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poo poo I forgot about the first time I tried going out with a co-worker; the interest was definitely there, because we flirted up a storm at all times. And because she had already gone down on me in a parking lot. But anyway, we were going to go out for real but that same night some of our co-worker friends begged both of us to go out to a club with them, so we figured we would do that first and then leave together later. About an hour into us hanging out at a club she was making out with me and openly rubbing my cock through my pants and begging me to gently caress her right there on the one couch at the club. I was like "hey you know that sounds awesome but there are definitely police in this town" and she got more and more frustrated by my refusal, so basically nothing else happened and, perhaps unsurprisingly, it never progressed from there. So many of my stories would have gone differently if I drank. I would have thought I was the kind of person totally down with having sex in public, too, but something about "the public is literally close enough to bump into you" makes it less appealing.
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Apr 26, 2017 00:24
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Dr. Quarex posted:poo poo I forgot about the first time I tried going out with a co-worker; the interest was definitely there, because we flirted up a storm at all times. And because she had already gone down on me in a parking lot. But anyway, we were going to go out for real but that same night some of our co-worker friends begged both of us to go out to a club with them, so we figured we would do that first and then leave together later. I dated a girl that wanted to have sex beneath the alter of the church I went to as a kid.
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Apr 26, 2017 02:00
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FAGGY CLAUSE posted:I've been a bug chaser for the past 5 or 6 years. I'm always looking for attractive men with rare strains of the HIV virus. If you're positive Three Olives we should talk Sorry to disappoint but I'm in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend now and we have both been tested HIV- multiple times including together since we became monogamous. And yes he knows that entire story among many others.
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Apr 26, 2017 02:02
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Three Olives posted:Sorry to disappoint but I'm in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend now and we have both been tested HIV- multiple times including together since we became monogamous. And yes he knows that entire story among many others. how is Mr. Keurig
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Apr 26, 2017 02:23
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Three Olives posted:Sorry to disappoint but I'm in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend now and we have both been tested HIV- multiple times including together since we became monogamous. And yes he knows that entire story among many others. I really am glad you're clean, but selfish enough to be a little disappointed
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Apr 26, 2017 02:23
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I never understood the 3O hate. Once I invited a girl from my college basic music class over for dinner. I made chicken fettuccine Alfredo and had her top off lickety split about 5 minutes after I bragged about how awesome my back rubs are. Things progress and she asks if I have an condoms. poo poo yeah I got co. . .oh wait. . .wait no, no I don't have any of those things, gently caress. I was so intent to gently caress this girl I told her to hang tight, I'd run down the street to get some. I was back in about 10 minutes and she said that her period just started and she needed to go. I found out later on that she was a huge dirty slut and a rumor went around that she had AIDS.
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Apr 26, 2017 02:42
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PureEvil6_13 posted:I never understood the 3O hate. well did she?
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Apr 26, 2017 03:07
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PureEvil6_13 posted:I she said that her period just started and she needed to go Bitch show me!!!!!!
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Apr 26, 2017 03:16
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guns for tits posted:well did she? I don't know, it was the mid 90's. Everyone had AIDS.
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Apr 26, 2017 03:26
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Barudak posted:I must have told this befor, but a friend of mine was on a date with a gal and the whole thing was going quite well and they get to talking about their careers. The woman is and emt and so my friend starts asking her about it. After a little while she gets really serious looking and leans in towards my friend and says in a low whisper, "Do you want to know why I became an emt?" "Sure," says my friend. Nigmaetcetera posted:This thread is about bad dates, buddy.
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Apr 26, 2017 03:49
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Went out once with this amazing looking girl about 10 years years ago. Date was fine in itself, we farted around London for a day. But there was a kind of thread running through all our conversation: i'd ask about how she was enjoying uni and she'd tell me how much her dad hated the courses she was taking. Ask about her time at a Kibbutz and she'd tell me how much her dad hated her going. Ask about how she likes living in London and hear about how daddy hated her leaving wherever her family lives - maybe Manchester but who thr gently caress can rember. Anyway I didn't especially notice it at the time, but in the evening we ended up loving in her place which was GREAT because she was really pretty and had huge boobs! But! Midway through the sexing she started whimpering/whispering "i'll be good i'll be good" over and over again until we were done. So i'm guessing serious daddy issues. Powered through like a champ, cut and ran the next day. Still kind of regret not sticking around for a few weeks tbh because she was hot enough to put up with a certain amount of crazy in retrospect.
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Apr 26, 2017 07:32
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ah yes the 'hot chick who has now become a born again christian and concentrated all the crazy into her new faith'. like a special brand of crazy where you snort a bunch of cocaine, swallow a bottle of vodka and then drive over to gently caress a formerly homeless addict in rehab who ends up rejecting you.
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Apr 26, 2017 07:42
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Crash_N_Burn posted:lmfao 
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Apr 26, 2017 08:50
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I remember one time I was on a date at a fondue place. It was going well until the end when the bus boy tried to remove the hot oil and it spilled all over the drat place. It narrowly avoided my crotch but did spill all over the vinyl seat and gently caress it up. I date was horrified... But they comped our dinner, so it all worked out.
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Apr 26, 2017 16:02
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Someone once poisoned my pet monkey in an attempt to kill my friend.
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Apr 26, 2017 16:21
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20 minute soliloquy from a girl about how her family only lets her date other jews while I sat across the table being 6 foot 3 with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a German as gently caress last name.
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Apr 26, 2017 16:21
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In college, was my turn to pay for dinner. Guy proceeded to order a bunch of the more expensive food/drinks and it turned out I was short on cash, although just a few bucks. He was kind of a bitch and scolded me for 'not being prepared' despite being a broke-rear end college student, but a kind stranger overheard him giving me poo poo and offered to cover the few extra dollars, so I thanked him profusely. I was very embarrassed but I'm pretty lucky that that's been my most negative date, really.
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Apr 26, 2017 16:28
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Had a pretty swell date go sour quickly. It's hard to get to know someone well when Jon Pop is under the table taking notes.
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Apr 26, 2017 16:54
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once I asked a girl out in grade 11 to go see the movie "big fish" I think I bought her flowers when I picked her up... I cringe thinking about it
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Apr 26, 2017 17:03
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new phone who dis posted:20 minute soliloquy from a girl about how her family only lets her date other jews while I sat across the table being 6 foot 3 with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a German as gently caress last name. I mean that seems like an absolute, unequivocal guarantee you're getting some that night so I don't really see the issue
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Apr 26, 2017 17:04
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Picked up a girl who wanted to see a movie at the second-run theater across town which sounds like a terrible date already, but whatever. When we're the only people in the theater she tells me that the house I picked her up at wasn't her place, she's married, and we had to come here because it was dark and empty and if her husband saw her out he would kill her, or himself, or me, or all three of us in some order (presumably himself last). In any case the film was Pixels so I didn't bail cause I was praying for death at that point anyways.
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Apr 26, 2017 21:05
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Saint Freak posted:Picked up a girl who wanted to see a movie at the second-run theater across town which sounds like a terrible date already, but whatever. When we're the only people in the theater she tells me that the house I picked her up at wasn't her place, she's married, and we had to come here because it was dark and empty and if her husband saw her out he would kill her, or himself, or me, or all three of us in some order (presumably himself last). did she swallow lol
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Apr 26, 2017 21:14
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A disappointing evening all around.
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Apr 26, 2017 21:56
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Friend went on a date with a lady who refused to walk on the inside of the sidewalk and would pause every once in a while to full scan her surroundings, especially the bushes and trees. After about the fifth time of this my friend asks whats up and she answers that "I see velociraptors everywhere"
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Apr 26, 2017 22:10
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Barudak posted:Friend went on a date with a lady who refused to walk on the inside of the sidewalk and would pause every once in a while to full scan her surroundings, especially the bushes and trees. After about the fifth time of this my friend asks whats up and she answers that "I see velociraptors everywhere"
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Apr 26, 2017 22:16
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Xarthor posted:I've had a few awful dates in my time. Here's one I consider a 50/50 her/my fault: Ah, I see you're also familiar with what I call "the FlutieFlakes Special." Drink too much, tell inappropriate stories with too much volume and too emphatically while laughing like a maniac. I've ruined dates both intentionally and unintentionally that way. When I do it intentionally it's usually because I can tell it's not going to work out, I call it "punting on 2nd down." One time when I was doing it unintentionally the girl started making and posting quick start/stop vine videos of me talking and showing them to me. I was alarmed by how wild-eyed I looked while laughing and waving a vape pen around. She ended up going home with me and we drunkenly fooled around which was good. When she left in the morning she said my breakfast looked like something Gaston would eat. Had alot of weird dates in the heady days of match.com and internet dating circa 2010. Probably would have had more weird dates if I didn't like staying up til 2 or 3 and writing outrageous private messages that ranged from "way too honest" to "is this guy high on meth?" (No, he's just drunk out of his skull, recently returned from China, and fresh out of a long-term relationship). One time a Chinese girl from Match used a "date" as a pretext to get me to help her move but had not reserved a Uhaul before hand and I ended up having to drive a 20-ft. UHaul around Dallas.
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Apr 27, 2017 05:12
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I dated a girl a few times and then she ghosted me for like 3 weeks. Got a text out of the blue "hey how are you doing???" to which I replied "your date must have gone terribly last night". I understand why I'm still single. Also minor league hockey is a poor choice for a second date if the guy/girl doesn't give a poo poo about sports.
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Apr 27, 2017 14:47
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Slugworth posted:Someone once poisoned my pet monkey in an attempt to kill my friend. Bad date.
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Apr 27, 2017 15:43
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Vargatron posted:I dated a girl a few times and then she ghosted me for like 3 weeks. Got a text out of the blue "hey how are you doing???" to which I replied "your date must have gone terribly last night". way to turn down random sex dummy
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Apr 27, 2017 16:22
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Elsa posted:way to turn down random sex dummy Eh, you'd be surprised. I had the exact same scenario but just with more elapsed time. Went on a date, nothing really happened for a while, then she contacts out of the blue a few months later. Even asked if I was seeing anyone. So yeah I immediately assumed that since our date she had bad luck in the dating scene and was slinking back for a remorseful hookup, which is something I would have shamefully indulged unlike this guy. HOWEVER, further investigation revealed that she was not looking for sex, or even a date. She said she wanted to be friends (specifically, friends) because she "needed male perspective in her life". I was immediately reminded of a dude in one her profile pictures who she said was her (former?) "gay best friend". So I had to take it the facts of the situation. 1) Specifically stated "friends only". 2) Lives 30-45 minutes away in a lovely, hot town. 3) Few common interests. 4) The situation seems to suggest a psychological void that I'd be expected to fill (bad business). 5) The fact that I thought she was really hot would complicate point 1 significantly. 6) The spectre of the gay best friend. I said "sure, we can be friends" and there has been zero communication in either direction since that (several weeks ago). lol
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Apr 27, 2017 17:06
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Chomp8645 posted:Eh, you'd be surprised. I had the exact same scenario but just with more elapsed time. Went on a date, nothing really happened for a while, then she contacts out of the blue a few months later. Even asked if I was seeing anyone. So yeah I immediately assumed that since our date she had bad luck in the dating scene and was slinking back for a remorseful hookup, which is something I would have shamefully indulged unlike this guy. I ended up friends with someone I internet dated and fooled around with a little. We talk about our other internet dates mostly on the phone sporadically. It's not that bad.
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Apr 27, 2017 17:16
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new phone who dis posted:I ended up friends with someone I internet dated and fooled around with a little. We talk about our other internet dates mostly on the phone sporadically. It's not that bad. I'm actually ok with platonic female friends. But like I said this one it was kind of weird (distance + lack of common interests + "need male perspective"). That's why I just gave in a minimal effort "ok we can be friends" without followup. But I mean she didn't follow up either, so as Sean Murray would say: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Apr 27, 2017 18:33
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