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Apr 24, 2017 02:32
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Applesnots posted:I met a girl on tinder and on the second date she gave me a sob story about her ex-husband left her. Turns out she drowned their infant child in the bathtub because jesus told her to do so. I am not kidding in the least. wooph
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Apr 24, 2017 04:52
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Molothecat posted:shoulda slammed. at least you know you wouldn't have to worry about raising a kid it's still a bummer to lower one 
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Apr 24, 2017 04:56
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I once met a guy from off OKC. He showed up late, was obviously sclubbier than his picture, and his hair had a greasy sheen. Anyway, we end up talking for about three hours, but after about 20 minutes it's just because I am fascinated by just how badly a date can go. He tells me about his many failures, how everything disappoints him, how he doesn't like his job and wants to quit and just read comics all day. He then moves on to all the things he is good at, and tells me his highschool teacher told him he was "good at commas". He doesn't drop any indications that he's actually accomplished in any way, there were no awards or anything of that sort. The conversation then moves to him telling me about all of his exes and wanting reassurance that I am not like them, with specifics. He awkwardly tries to figure out if I have any money. At the end, he tells me his idea for a novel, which is the exact premise of Early Edition but with google, and instead of CBS heartthrob Kyle Chandler using his knowledge of tomorrow's paper to save bingo ladies from anacondas, it is about an rear end in a top hat with eerie similarities to my date using this power to enrich himself and get a supermodel girlfriend... but is he fulfilled?! He hasn't come up with the second half of the book, and when asked what the theme is he says "superiority". I tell him I had a "nice time" and that I have to go. He says, "that's it?" and stands there fuming like the Arthur clenched fist meme as I go. I get into my car and burst into laughter, because in the span of three hours, he never asked my name.
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Apr 24, 2017 16:23
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Vargatron posted:Did a few OKC dates in a local college town after I was out of school. This involved me being 24 and dating girls that were still in the middle of school middle of schoolers?! 
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Apr 24, 2017 16:32
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new phone who dis posted:Mods please change my name to "good at commas". Goddamn that is the most banal poo poo. He also was visibly ruffled that I was smart and was caught in the "this threatens me/I want to own this" trap. Anyway, he decided to express this by saying "Well, don't you think you're smart?" and I laughed and said, "Ha ha, yeah, I am really smart.  "
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Apr 24, 2017 16:37
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I wasn't on a date with the guy as such, but he said to me that if men decided to enslave women again he'd "take me and keep me safe"
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Apr 24, 2017 16:42
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Apr 24, 2017 16:43
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CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:i met some girl on a site and agreed to meet her at a local brewery. tbh that was probably one of her better dates
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Apr 24, 2017 16:53
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new phone who dis posted:"I already have the shipping container prepared!" He was another one of those m'lady types who is so loving gross, self-centered, and dense that he thinks he should get backpats for calling dibs on women in preparation for his hentai premise to play out
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Apr 24, 2017 16:54
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new phone who dis posted:Let the man who isn't mentally cataloguing his list of post-apocalyptic gently caress-slaves throw the first stone. Joke's on him because that tubby idiot is top of my list to cut up for the larder under similar scenarios.
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Apr 24, 2017 17:02
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jfc what grit was that vagina
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Apr 24, 2017 17:15
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Zzulu posted:I once met a woman on Tinder... She looked normal and when i finally met her she acted normal and such as well. We got on and talked through the night, had a few pints and generally got along really well. She seemed like a good and down to earth woman to me...Well, to cut a long story short, that woman turned out to be Hitler, the fuhrer of the third reich of Germany So how was your third date?
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Apr 25, 2017 07:59
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tbf my profile would be "enjoys running around outside and eating raw meat" and people might get confused and ask what breed I am and which shelter I'm being held at
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Apr 25, 2017 17:30
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akma posted:Went out with an alcoholic chick I met online. She started trying to blow me while I was driving at one point, and that's when I discovered she was a lamprey eel. Felt like she had teeth on her tongue and the roof and sides of her mouth. That was 9 years or so ago, and I still have nightmares about it. 
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Apr 25, 2017 18:02
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Three Olives posted:Sorry to disappoint but I'm in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend now and we have both been tested HIV- multiple times including together since we became monogamous. And yes he knows that entire story among many others. how is Mr. Keurig
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Apr 26, 2017 02:23
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Guys obsessed with anal are always trash.
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Apr 29, 2017 11:30
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Barudak posted:I went on a date with someone and after 15 minutes it was super obvious to me it would never work, so I started talking up somebody i knew who was single for about an hour until they got the hint and we parted ways and that couple is still together to this day. Really sugarcoating the slave trade there
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May 2, 2017 15:58
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a 60-something multi-multi millionaire once took me on a date to a french restaurant, which he bought out for that evening should have married him
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May 4, 2017 07:01
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men are peepee doodoo
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May 8, 2017 22:02
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JFairfax posted:lol you laughed when a woman was telling you about how she is really stressed from dealing with child abuse cases.
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May 9, 2017 19:05
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May 10, 2017 03:29
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| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 05:03 |
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Vargatron posted:goddamn lol heroin
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May 22, 2017 19:29
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