|
Robot Randy posted:one time this weird rear end chick asked me to go camping with her. i already had a bit of a relationship with her where she would just give me random poo poo she picked up from garage sales or donation bins. idk some of it was alright but most of it was just borderline garbage and in a few cases, viscera. anyways the day went mostly fine since we had to set up the camp site and we were mostly occupied with our own tasks. later in the night we were sitting around the fire, just making small talk, and that was alright enough. rain started to fall and we retired to our tent. i guess at some point she had slipped something in her drink without me noticing, but as soon as i was settled in and drifting off to sleep the chick just starts MASHING on my groin area. honestly, if i could feel anything down there i bet i wouldve been paralyzed from the pain of the impromptu CBT sesh. fight or flight response kicked in and i somehow got out of the tent along with my sleeping bag, but because of my dead gay legs i had to crawl 45ft to my truck, through a torrent of rain and runoff from the campsites in the area. i couldnt get up to open my door so i ended up sleeping under my truck in wet, muddy clothes in a slightly less dirty and wet sleeping bag, hoping the increasing flow of water would carry me to the sweet release of death. wait, are you pretending to be Pick's wheelchair-bound "friend"?
|
#
¿
May 3, 2017 00:41
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 15:58 |
|
|
Psycho Society posted:Girls don't know what dates are anymore. Just ask if they want to watch the first 10 minutes of a movie on your laptop by laptop, do you mean dick?
|
|
#
¿
May 3, 2017 02:17
|
|
|
Pick posted:a 60-something multi-multi millionaire once took me on a date to a french restaurant, which he bought out for that evening think of all the avatars you could have bought
|
|
#
¿
May 4, 2017 10:56
|
|
|
Putty posted:Solaire left his armor in the pickle pee nest after a very bad date with crows Ah, hello! You don't look Male, far from it! I am Solaire of Amazonia, an adherent of the Lady of Sunlight. Now that I am peepee doodoo, I have come to this great land, the birthplace of Lady Pick, to seek my very own fur suit! … Do you find that strange? Well, you should! No need to hide your reaction. I get that look all the time! Hah hah hah!
|
|
#
¿
May 9, 2017 00:42
|
|
|
Bobcats posted:Got told she wanted to prioritize her dog so bye lol "Gotta go wash my...uh...dog?"
|
|
#
¿
May 13, 2017 21:42
|
|
|
One of my friends invited me over to his house to hang out. Turns out it was his first date with some girl so me and him and his room mate played cards against humanity with her and talked about death metal. Never heard from her again.
|
|
#
¿
May 22, 2017 07:46
|
|
|
All the extra weight is in her giantess boobs
|
|
#
¿
May 23, 2017 06:28
|
|
|
Vargatron posted:I used to be able to take down my brother and he could never get loose even though I was like 112 lbs at the time and he was 180lbs. The holds you learn in wrestling are pretty amazing really. did you at least kiss him first?
|
|
#
¿
May 23, 2017 17:10
|
|
|
Antivehicular posted:we went to see Star Wars: Insurrection Is this one of the prequels?
|
|
#
¿
May 24, 2017 18:54
|
|
|
*finishes on her face* BOOM! HEADSHOT!
|
|
#
¿
May 24, 2017 21:02
|
|
|
Bombadilillo posted:Was the milf hunter before your time? Back when the internet was young. That's not a penis. This is a penis!
|
|
#
¿
May 24, 2017 21:04
|
|
|
Piss de Bundy posted:like, 4 kids at 28 poo poo. gently caress that. im sure the men are the equivalent Depends. Did you make an account?
|
|
#
¿
May 25, 2017 14:21
|
|
|
Martha Stewart Undying posted:Had my worst date last night; her husband showed up. what was his name
|
|
#
¿
Jun 13, 2017 17:53
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 15:58 |
|
|
SuperSlacker posted:What is a date Something awful
|
|
#
¿
Jun 13, 2017 18:01
|
|