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Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


i'm kinda confused since it's been posted about at least twice here but how are goons meeting people online, going on an entire date, and never getting the person's name? that's one of the first things they ask me or i ask them. do you exchange numbers without knowing their names when you're messaging each other on okc or whatever. this is loving bizarre lmao

Groovelord Neato fucked around with this message at 01:31 on May 14, 2017

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Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


solar energy panel posted:

Nice to meet you, Groovelord Neato.
Nice to meet you, solar energy panel....

my okc username has my name in it and women give their actual name when they message me or i message them.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


no he used our forums usernames. my parents did not name me Grooverlord nor is our surname Neato.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


i concur.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


Salty Josh posted:

She was 4'9" and 300 lbs. Got a blowie on the drive home

i hope to yahweh this is fake.

Machai posted:

and talked about death metal. Never heard from her again.

unsurprising.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


treiz01 posted:

Nah dude fat chicks give great blowjobs

a woman who's 6'2" and 300 lbs would be comically obese i can't even begin to imagine how disgusting someone who's over a foot shorter but weighs as much would be.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


Dr. Quarex posted:

Ashley Graham comes to mind; she is not everyone's cup of tea but I seem to recall she weighed in the low 200s, and she is only 5'9", so it is not terribly hard to imagine a significantly taller woman with a slightly larger frame approaching 300. I had a 6' ex-girlfriend who looked anorexic (and possibly was) and weighed over 150.

All that said, I suspect there may be virtually no-one else in the world who looks like this legendary 300 pound woman* if this all checks out.

Edit: Except Mocking Bird I guess.

graham is probably ~180 or less and 120 more pounds is a huge amount of mass.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


Anne Whateley posted:

I would ask you to source your quotes but we all recognize that as 2005 Tucker Max

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjlJMpFomM8

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Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


Elsa posted:

My friend met up with a girl he used to date a couple years back at school. After the date she asked where he wanted to go and he said, "let's tear up your place" but she said they couldn't because her sister was visiting. He didn't have a place to go because he just got back in town and was sleeping in his car. So she suggested the beach.

He had a blanket and pillows already so they're just looking up at the stars talking about camera exposures and how hard it is to get decent shots with a phone camera and he feels her hand slide across his belt. At first he thought she was just adjusting the blanket but the pressure from her fingers moving around was definitely downward. He thought AWESOME and the sound of the water crashing into the sand and the breeze heightened the experience.

Then he felt the sand. As he got harder and she kept stroking the grits seemed to get bigger. I'm sorry. ut that's all he told me I don't know how it ended.

it is incredibly dumb to go on a date if you don't have an actual dwelling to bring them back to.

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