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angerbot
Mar 23, 2004

plob
This was way back when I was a teenager but internet dating was just becoming a thing and I went out to the movies with this guy, who seemed a little out of it but was OK looking and whatever. He tried to give me a handjob during the movie but I stopped that. We went out to a park afterward and swang on the swings, and eventually came back to my place. Sex was pretty much going to happen so we start making out and getting undressed, it turned out he had extensive burn scars all over the bottom half of his body. Turns out he had severe mental problems and had doused his legs in gasoline and lit them on fire because "the top half is the angel and the bottom is the devil."

Which was better than the fry cook who had a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on his chest and came from being fingered up the rear end, then proceeded to do the infamous "angry dragon" move when I came in his mouth, he choked, and it came out his nose. He at least just left afterwards.

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