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I'm sorry, I'm not very familiar with how CineD does their movie challenges, but if I understand this correctly, I only have to watch 13 horror movies during May? Then I would have to rate them, write a little bit about them, and keep going?
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Apr 29, 2017 05:12
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:01 |
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If you haven't seen them, I recommend the VHS movies. They're solid horror anthologies and available on Netflix. But skip the third one. Altogether.
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May 2, 2017 16:06
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Franchescanado posted:VHS Viral is fine, I liked all of the shorts enough, but it's one of the few instances where the wrap-around story actually hurts the movie. The idea is decent, but it's just so drat bad and makes the other shorts more lame. Not even the death cult? That's the best one!
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May 2, 2017 16:16
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Let Us Prey would be a good choice, too. It should still be on Netflix. Maybe I should actually participate in this. gently caress it, I will. Put me down for 15 movies.
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May 3, 2017 00:54
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1. VHS 2 Are we allowed to do rewatches? I think I've seen those. In any case, V/H/S 2 is a rewatch for me, and one I welcome. In V/H/S 2, the story begins with a pair of private investigators hired to find a supposedly missing college student. When they enter his home, they find an odd tape of him rambling, talking about watching a series of tapes. While one of the investigators searches the house, the other pops in a tape. V/H/S 2 is a horror anthology, featuring four stories of various spookiness. The first story is called Phase I Clinical Trials and is about a man who has lost an eye and receives an implant, is fairly decent, if a little short. It's told from first-person perspective, since his eye has a camera in it and the people who installed it want to test it out. The man is warned that there might be "glitches", and oh boy, are there! That night, he starts to see ghosts and meets a young woman with an ear implant who can hear ghosts. Good goddamn, that sounds silly when I type it out. It's better than it sounds, I swear! The second story is called A Ride In The Park and is about a guy named Mike, taking an early morning bike ride. He's got one of those goofy Go-Pro cameras strapped to his helmet, since he's extreme enough to warrant that kind of thing. Or something, I don't know. In either case, he is attacked by zombies and turned into one. This story does something that I hadn't seen before, with Mike being turned and we get to see the zombie movie from the zombie's point of view. It's neat and really novel, but upon a rewatch, the impact is significantly less. The third story is the loving star of the film, being immensely creepy and pretty scary. It's called Safe Haven, and is about a group of reporters who is in Indonesia, hanging out with a bona fide cult. They're filming their activities, from inside the compound, and as they continue along, things get weirder and stranger. Before long, everything has gone straight to poo poo, cultists are committing suicide left and right, one guy loving explodes into a fine pink mist, a demon appears--It's hard to describe Safe Haven without giving too much away, which I think is a point in its favor. If you don't watch any other part of the movie, check out this story, at the very least. It's honestly scary, and impressively so. The final story is called Slumber Party Alien Abduction, and you get exactly what you think you will. A group of teenagers and a dog are at their lake house while their parents are away. There are some pranks, some retaliation, someone jacking off in a sleeping bag surrounded by a group of sleeping people--all things that you've been involved in, I'm sure. Until the aliens arrive, the power goes out, and they burst into the house, emitting this deep-pitched roaring noise, dragging kids away. Some of them manage to escape, but before long, they're running out of places to hide. I'd give V/H/S 2 a solid 8/10; it could be a little better, but it's extremely solid as-is, and I highly recommend it to any horror fan. I don't know what's up next, but you'll find out soon enough! How was that? Did I suck? I feel like I sucked.
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May 3, 2017 06:14
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Drunkboxer posted:I remember sitting through all the Hellraiser movies in college and wondering why I did that at the end of it all. We all make poor choices, especially in college. If it makes you feel better, I still regularly watch the eighth Friday the 13th movie, because I firmly believe I must be missing something.
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May 3, 2017 13:07
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2. Contracted This movie is...Interesting. It's about a lesbian named Samantha who has an affair with a random man at a party one night. The next day, she wakes up with a hell of a hangover and what appears to be the period from hell. Over time, she begins to have severe stomach cramps, more crotchal blood loss, loses sensitivity to heat, is constantly cold, no appetite, loses fingernails, hair, and things seem to be getting worse, just like her relationship with her mother, girlfriend, and best friend. The movie starts kind of slow, in a, "Why the gently caress am I watching this?" sense. The camera work is never steady and seems to be barely above a good home video camera. At first, I thought it detracted from the movie, but at some point, it started working for it. It lends this odd, sorta realistic feel to the whole thing, like we're just bobbing along in the movie, following Samantha as she tries to figure out what's wrong with herself. I'm writing this as I'm watching the movie and holy poo poo, her teeth have gone all rotten and one eye is a milky dead white. I'm waiting for her to eat somebody. Or to just fall to pieces. And now that I've finished the movie, I'd give it a solid 7/10. It's worth checking out and sticking around if you're interested. If not, I could understand. Her vagina is rotting and maggots fall out of it while she's banging another dude.
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May 5, 2017 07:11
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3. Blood Glacier What a waste of time. It's like The Thing, but German and lovely. A group of global warming scientists are researching at some glaciers and find one with this mysterious red goo leaking out of it. As it turns out, this goo mutates the wildlife into monsters, which should be awesome, but it's the opposite of that. It's boring. Which is the greatest sin a movie can commit. There's nothing you haven't seen before, from concept to the finish (where one of the researcher's girlfriend shows up with the goo still existing) and no real reason to watch this movie. It could have been a lot of fun, but it's more like stubbing your toe; a terrible thing that takes up more time than it's worth. 2/10.
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May 7, 2017 04:07
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Hollismason posted:You'll really dig Contamination it's got a killer soundtrack by Goblin as well. When I watched Contracted, I think I had it confused with Contamination.
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May 10, 2017 03:04
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Hollismason posted:HOw? From the titles, mostly. I saw Contracted on Netflix and I was like, "Oh hey, I've seen this recommended! I'm going to watch it!"
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May 10, 2017 03:25
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4. Invoked An Irish found footage horror film about a group of friends who take a holiday to an old hostel that's been abandoned for years. Thinking about it, I'm not sure why they decided to go there or how they knew about it, but the movie couldn't have happened without it, so there they are. This hostel is on an island, where hundreds of years ago, the terrible people from the nearby village were buried; your murders, molesters, rapists, etc. etc. So, of course, this group of chucklefucks decides to hold a seance, because when you've been drinking heavily and smoking weed, that sounds like a great idea. They're attacked by the spooky ghosts and, one by one, eliminated. The next morning, the caretaker is there with the cops (oh, yeah, there are also surveillance cameras in this hostel, so we can see what they're doing) and they find the lone survivor. As one of the cops is trying to talk to her, a creature skitters down the wall behind him... Shockingly enough, the characters in this movie weren't too bad. They were kind of likable and realistic, which is refreshing to see. I tried watching Cabin Fever again and gave up because everyone was a huge dick. These characters suffered from the movie trope of using "gently caress" as a comma, which is realistic enough, but you'd think a screenwriter would take a little more care about the dialog. However, even when the ghosts attack, nothing really happens. People disappear, but not in interesting ways. There is one scene of a thick blackness overtaking the walls, which was cool, but mostly just...There. All in all, I think it's really only for the found footage junkie and not many others. I'd give it 5/10. It's solidly average, no more, no less.
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May 10, 2017 06:26
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5. Last Shift Last Shift is a movie about a cop on her first night on the job. Her sole duty is to babysit an empty policestation, waiting for a hazardous materials crew to arrive to remove all hazardous materials from evidence (drugs and the like). Sounds pretty easy, right? Of course, it isn't. Before too long, odd things begin happening, such as all the locker room lockers bursting open, leading her to find a picture of her father, a former cop, killed on duty. She begins to receive mysterious calls from a girl needing help, claiming she escaped from a group of maniacs. Mysterious forces begin to torment her and she has to discover just what is going on in this station, help the mysterious girl, and figure out the circumstances surrounding a Satanic group that was brought through years ago... Last Shift is pretty satisfying, as it hits plenty of spooky notes. There's one scene that is just an exposition dump, but it's inoffensive in that regard. For the most part, the movie is good on atmosphere and general creepiness. I would say it's worth checking out and giving it at least a half hour of your time. 7/10.
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May 12, 2017 06:29
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6. Christmas Horror Story Another anthology film, this time with stories around Christmas! Krampus terrorizes an assholish family, Santa takes on zombie elves, a boy is lost while he and his family search for a tree and when he's found, something is off, and three students investigate some mysterious deaths. They're intertwined, sort of connecting, and William Shatner is a radio DJ who loves Christmas. It was good, fun, and had a really cool twist at the end. 8/10.
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May 19, 2017 20:44
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7. Viral A fun movie about parasitic worms that turn people into blind zombies that hunt by sound. Two sisters, after their town is quarantined, must survive the outbreak without being turned themselves. A neat part was that the worms were rocking all over the planet, so it wasn't just one little town that was boned. Viral was decently acted, too, even if there wasn't a lot of bloody worm zombie murders. You still got the sense that this was real bad news, but not by being shown how brutal the zombies were. There was an emphasis on people feeling the worms "speak" to them, on wanting their host to injure and kill others. It was more show than tell that this plague was bad news. People weren't all that stupid, either. I felt they were more realistic than most zombie movie characters, which was a point in the movie's favor. Viral is worth watching and available on Netflix. 7.5/10
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May 20, 2017 06:47
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8. The Stuff Michael Moriarty is the poo poo, as was this movie. A mysterious foodstuff is being sold, turning people into...Something else. It's a bit of a comedy, too, but it's very solid. If you've never seen The Stuff, go watch the poo poo out of it. 9/10.
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May 20, 2017 19:39
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9. Convergence I'm not really sure how to describe this movie. A cop is caught in an explosion and wakes up in a mysterious hospital, where he's not allowed to leave. His captain is there, urging him to stick around, but the nurse is really weird, a paramedic is up to something creepy, and there are other forces at play... This movie was weird. Not necessarily in a good way, either. The mystery and framing device seemed a little forced, and there's this battle between two factions about if they're true believers or not, with one side looking to gather Grace, with the other side wanting to do something. I'm not really sure. I don't usually fall asleep during movies, but this one put me down. I watched it with my wife and asked her what happened after I started snoozing, and she didn't really know. I don't know if it's fair to rate it after falling asleep, but 4/10.
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May 21, 2017 23:05
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10. The Den Holy poo poo, this movie was a surprise with how good it was. It's about a young woman who's using a video chat service called The Den (think Chatroulette, if you remember what that is) for a school project. One day, she sees a young woman murdered through the chat she's having with her. From that point on, her friends are targeted one by one, until she's the last one on the chopping block... This movie is sort of found footage; it's shot entirely through webcams and phone cameras, like you would use to chat with someone online. That's kind of a neat gimmick, and one they use pretty effectively. The gore is pretty good in this movie and a lot of the shots, a lot of the stalking, is pretty well done, too. It's got a spooky and atmospheric vibe throughout the entire thing, up to the very end. There's a twist at the end, too, and one that doesn't feel hamfisted or just thrown in there because you've gotta have a twist. It has an implication that's fairly horrifying and is well-done all around. 8/10 11. Tales of Halloween Do you like horror anthologies? Look no further! Tales of Halloween has ten--count 'em--ten stories within it's 90 minute run time and they're each interesting in their own way. They're from a multitude of directors, including Darren Lynn Bousman, Lucky McKee, and Neil Marshall. There are also performances by Barry Bostwick, Joe Dante, John Landis, Adrienne Barbeau, Sam Witwer, as well as many others. Each of the stories are interlocking in some fashion and have a wide variety of subject matter; in one story, the Devil himself teaches a young boy how to pull off a Halloween prank; in another, a masked spree killer has to fight off an alien invasion; in a third, Sweet Tooth, a boogeyman who is peaceful, as long as you offer him some candy, isn't left his offering... Tales of Halloween is loving delightful. Some of the stories were spooky, some were funny, and some were just fun. It's got blood and guts abound, as well as laughs and lots of heart. It's an endearing sort of film and an honest joy to watch. I'd recommend it to just about anyone, but especially all of you folks reading this thread. It's not pure horror, though; it's a horror comedy, but it felt like to me that the horror came first, at least most of the time. 9/10 12. Kristy Have you ever wondered what it would be like to stay at college over a holiday while everyone else went home? Kristy follows that sort of pattern, when a girl (named Justine, not Kristy) stays at school over Thanksgiving break, as she's at school on a scholarship and can't afford to go home over the break. Her roommate, who was going to stay over with her, suddenly leaves to go spend the holiday with her father, so Justine is left all alone, except for a solitary security guard. On Thanksgiving night, Justine heads to a convenience store to grab a snack, but meets an odd woman in there who calls her Kristy. When Justine leaves and gets back to her dorm, things begin to turn a little odd. After taking a nap, she wakes up, hearing odd noises, and the lights begin to flicker. She goes to check it out, but a bunch of pictures of other students in the hallway have all had their eyes scratched out. In her room, her laptop is playing a snuff film; Justine discovers that the Wi-Fi is out and then the security guard is murdered, leaving Justine all alone, as four killers converge on her, urging her to "run to God." Kristy is a pretty damned solid movie. Justine is a good character and a nice strong female lead in a horror movie. She's not overly stupid and she doesn't survive on pure luck. She uses her head, utilizing her wits as her greatest weapon in her fight for survival. This is another unsettling movie, because who hasn't seen a mysterious person in a sweatshirt, hood up, face covered, and thought they were a serial killer? poo poo, where my wife and I work, there's a woman who regularly comes in that looks exactly like one of the killers from this movie; that poo poo is spooky, even if that lady is super nice. Kristy is definitely worth checking into; I thought it was a solid movie, a good stalking film that didn't rely on tons of blood and guts to try and scare you. It did it through atmosphere and anticipation, which I think horror movies need to do more often. Sometimes, I'm in a mood for a killer disemboweling teenagers with fishing knives, but sometimes, I just want a killer who is making you look every which way for where he is, wondering how he's going to appear next. 8/10.
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May 26, 2017 07:40
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13. Clown From producer Eli Roth comes a movie about a real estate agent that just tried to do a good thing for his kid. After the clown for his son's birthday party suddenly can't make it, Kent finds a clown costume in a house he's readying for market. He throws it on to become Dummo the clown and performs at his kid's party. The next day, he can't get the costume off. The wig has become his own hair, the suit is fused to his skin, and the red nose is well attached to his own schnozz. He tracks down the brother of the house's former owner, who has since died. The brother informs him that he is wearing the skin and hair of the Cloyne, a Nordic monster that feasts on children. Kent has been rather hungry lately... This movie was okay. There was a lot of gore and children get killed. That's all I can really say. I was pretty neutral on this movie and I don't think I'd watch it again. 4/10.
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May 31, 2017 14:49
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I wish I'd thought of the icons, instead of lame /10 scores. After seeing you do it, I couldn't copy it, since that'd also be lame.
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May 31, 2017 16:02
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Alright, give me three for my penance and expect a write up. On Hulu or Netflix, though. They're my only streaming services.
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Jun 6, 2017 20:41
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Franchescanado posted:Deal. I'll look some up. Do you have any triggers? (So I can avoid them, not punish you with them) No triggers that I know of. Bring it on! Basebf555 posted:I nominate: Troll Hunter Troll Hunter was the poo poo. I loved that movie.
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Jun 6, 2017 20:52
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Franchescanado posted:You are so much nicer than me. I'll leave the good movie reccs to you. I've seen those Human Centipede movies and you're a goddamn monster for that. I'll take Braniac. I would have watched Baskin already, but subtitles are hard when you've got a < 1 year old on your hands. And I'll throw in Eyes of my Mother, since I think that's already in my queue.
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Jun 7, 2017 01:51
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Franchescanado posted:Oh yeah, it wasn't meant as anything against you guys. It was just surprising to hear those movies from you two. I'm sorry. I grabbed the Return to Arkham collection and I've been spending my nights terrifying thugs. Which should count in its own way. It's still horror involved. 
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Jun 14, 2017 22:07
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The Brainiac Holy poo poo, where do I begin talking about this movie? It was an interesting movie, definitely a product of 1961 horror. It had the cheap sets, the goofy looking monster, the questionable acting, and the goofy loving story lines that black and white horror had going for them, like Horror of Party Beach or Terror From The Year 5000. I bring up those movies not only because they fit the general time frame, but also because I could have easily seen The Brainiac as an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, except that this movie was in Spanish. Which really threw me off at first; I'm used to my silly horror movies being in English, thank you very much. At least, the Netflix version was in Spanish; there exists a dubbed English version, but no English option on Netflix. Anyways, the story begins back in 1661, where Baron Bitelious, a sorcerer and witch, has been up to some shenanigans. He's had the poo poo tortured out of him by the Inquisition, not that its had any sort of lasting effect on him. He's simply used his magic to not let it bother him a bit, but he's eventually burned at the stake. However, while he's burning, he uses his powers to discover the identities of his enemies. A comet passes overhead and he promises them that, in 300 years, when the comet returns, so will he to wreak havoc on their descendants, ending their bloodlines. And, guess what, 300 years pass and Baron comes back! A goddamned rock falls out of the sky one night, after two astronomers, Reynaldo and Victoria (I think. I'm bad at names when I only have subtitles to go by, which sounds really weird when I write it out, since you'd think that reading the name would imprint it in my memory better), discover the comet is back on its 300 year cycle. The Baron emerges from the rock, but as a horrible creature with fleshy pincers and a long forked tongue, as well as a hairy and pulsating face. It's the kind of thing that, on a TV screen, makes you snicker, but would probably horrify you in real life. Still, when in this form, the Baron can use his forked tongue to break through the back of the skull and drain your brains. This is very puzzling to the police, as they believe it to be some sort of drill, but as more bodies pile up, the Baron is slowly making good on his promise... I'm honestly not sure what I felt about this movie. It definitely shows its age, which I have trouble knocking it for; it's a product of a different time, so it's very different from horror movies that come out today. The effects are laughable (I'm not entirely certain they weren't back then), the story is kind of thin, and the characters are slightly bland and boring. I liked the Baron, though, since he had class. Or something to that effect. Still, I wouldn't recommend you away from this movie; quite the opposite, in fact. I'd recommend gathering a group of friends, a few stiff drinks, and sitting down to enjoy The Brainiac, doing your best MST3K impressions. I'm honestly not sure what kind of rating to give it. It wasn't a bad movie, not really. Like I said, it shows its age and it hasn't aged well, but that isn't the movie's fault. However, I'm hesitant to believe it was considered a masterpiece, by any stretch of the imagination, back in the early 60's. So, in the interest of being generous and trying to get others to watch it, I'm going to go ahead and give The Brainiac a solid 7/10. I wasn't sure where else to work this in, but the movie ends with the police busting in to take out the Baron, in his monster form, with loving flamethrowers.
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Jun 15, 2017 07:17
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:01 |
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Eyes Of My Mother I just couldn't get into this movie. I tried, but it felt like a glaze kept slipping over my vision when I was watching it, even though it definitely felt like something I should like, should have engaged with. It's the story of a young woman, Francisca, who's mother was murdered by a salesman, Charlie. Her father chains Chuck in the barn, where Fran blinds him and cuts out his vocal cords. She continues torturing him into adulthood, while he remains chained up. Her father dies years later, then Fran meets Kimiko, a Japanese girl. Fran, trying to be friendly, opens up to Kimiko, revealing she murdered her father, and ends up murdering Kimiko, bagging her up and putting her in the fridge. Franends up kidnapping a child, trapping his mother in the barn (having killed Chuck), and raising the boy as her own. Eventually, the mother escapes, is found by a trucker and the cops show up and that wraps up the movie. It wasn't a bad movie, I don't think. I may not have been in the proper mood for it, or maybe it just isn't my kind of movie. It felt a little surreal watching it, like there was no surprise to this woman killing these various people. It felt like a foregone conclusion; we know Fran is hosed up and we'll see some very odd poo poo. I want to like this movie, but I can't quite put my finger on why I don't. It's a sort of character study of a lonely woman who wants some friends, but due to the trauma of her early life, her relationships all end the same way, leading to this cycle of death that continues until her own demise. Or maybe it's the story of a psychopath who can't form lasting relationships due to her disturbed nature. Hell, it could be both. In any case, I was not a fan. Eyes Of My Mother was not my jam, but I'd like to hear some other takes on it. 3/10.
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Jun 16, 2017 06:56
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