|
1. Bad Ben (2016) I am a sucker for found footage and have been searching for one as effective and entertaining as As Above So Below. This didn't quite impress me nearly as much, but considering it consists entirely of one actor (who is also the director) and a shoestring budget, it managed to pull off some genuinely creepy moments. A middle-aged, balding fat guy named Tom purchases a home at a Sheriff's Auction and decides to document his efforts at fixing up and flipping the house, utilizing his cell phone (which magically has night vision) and an extensive array of security cameras the previous occupants had installed. The house is full of stuff, making it seem like the owners just up and left one day. Peculiar, yes, but hey, considering he invested every penny he had in this house, he is thrilled to find extra things he can sell. Things almost immediately start getting weird, with furniture moving around by itself, shadowy figures lurking around outside, and the front door left wide open despite him closing and locking it. This is compounded when he begins to explore the property itself and locates a tiny grave in the woods marked with a cross and an old musical childrens toy (which he excitedly says he is going to list on Ebay right before desecrating the grave like the upstanding gentleman he is). More strange occurrences plague him night and day, and he discovers more bizarre abandoned items in the shed and up in the ever spooky attic. Review of security footage shows that no, no one is breaking into his home to rearrange the furniture. There is definitely something supernatural going on which, instead of scaring him off, only makes him angry. There is something incredibly hilarious about this obviously out of shape dude challenging supernatural creatures to come fight him. I can't describe it any further without spoiling the good parts, but Tom is a rather normal, relatable guy, which is extremely important because he is the only one carrying the movie. Sometimes his sarcasm and swearing is right on point, and other times you wonder why he is trying to pick fights with a potentially malevolent being, but damnit, nothing is going to chase him away from his home! I enjoyed it more than I expected it to. Tension is built well, and almost nothing is explained in a satisfactory manner, letting you attempt to put the puzzle pieces together on your own. I would definitely recommend it if you're bored. 3.5/5 2. Steelmanville Road 2017 A prequel to Bad Ben, this movie fails in almost every way. It follows the story of the family living in the house before Tom purchased it. Discussing too much of the plot would give away plot points for Bad Ben, but suffice to say, it fails everywhere the first movie succeeded. The film follows Rachel and Matt, a supposedly happy couple who inherit the house from Rachel's birth mother (whom she has never met); a mutual friend who is so bland I can't remember his name; and a lawyer who is shady either because he can't work with the script or because he sat on a tack. Oh, and some crazy old woman who knew Rachel's mother. The script and acting are atrocious. Multiple times, it felt like I was watching a video game cutscene, complete with awkward pauses as the NPC waits for you to select the next dialogue option. Every single character is insufferable in their own special way, with bonus points awarded to an old lady whose conversations with thin air would fit right in in a poorly made student production. Right off the bat, Rachel is a charicature of the snobby, histrionic wife, and her husband isn't a whole lot better. There is not a single likeable character in the entire film. The supernatural minimalism from the first movie was tossed straight into a woodchipper. You can probably play Terrible Found Footage Bingo and cover the entire board. While Bad Ben was mostly show, not tell, this film decided to show way too much and tell almost nothing. The lack of budget really shows, and it seemed as if the director took all the clues he sprinkled in the first film and tried to write another story just around those items while managing to completely fail at any sort of satisfying explanation. Also, there were constant shrieks outside that sounded like a pterodacyl was nesting in one of the trees. An incredible disappointment from start to finish. 1/5 Cymoril fucked around with this message at 16:36 on May 10, 2017 |
#
¿
May 10, 2017 16:32
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 8, 2024 09:47 |
|
|
3. In Memorium After being diagnosed with a terminal illness, a guy and his horribly bitchy girlfriend move into a new home where he plans to make a documentary of his remaining days. Being a found footage horror movie, they are, of course, not alone. He grows more and more obsessed with solving the mystery while his girlfriend pouts, throws fits, and begs him to just do chemo already because watching him die is hard. This had so much potential and absolutely blew it. The acting is terrible, the script is horrendous, and the "twist" is one of the most stupid ones I have ever come across. Worst of all, it was boring. As bad as the movie is, the worst part is undoubtedly the very end, where what tiny amount of potential it still had unraveled completely. My immediate reaction was, "Oh. Okay." The casting was astonishingly bad, especially the main character's stoner (?) kid brother, and the landlady. Dear god. That landlady. Complete waste of time. 1/5 4. The Sighting (2015) Convinced that her mother was abducted by aliens, Mia drags her psychology major boyfriend on quest to discover what really happened. He thinks she is trying to find closure, while she is certain that she will find proof of an alien abduction. Is Mia telling the truth, or is she slowly succumbing to late onset paranoid schizophrenia? Casting was decent, and acting varied from mediocre to hilarious (a couple of "crazy" characters chewed the hell out of the scenery and obviously enjoyed their roles). Mia's boyfriend was supportive while also being condescending, and his asides to the camera, with all his psych 101 vocabulary regurgitations, show him gradually breaking down in the face of what he believes to be Mia's psychotic break from reality. An incredibly awkward visit to her father - whom everyone believes killed her mother - doesn't exactly paint her as mentally sound, and you can tell her boyfriend is struggling against his desire to commit her to a psych ward. The mystery was interesting but, as seems common with these movies, they completely fumbled the ball with the ending. As in Mark Sanchez buttfumble levels of stupid. Not only did it make no sense, but it offered absolutely no closure, leaving it as, in my opinion, a complete non ending. Disappointing, since bits here and there were intriguing and borderline creepy. The only saving grace was the alien obsessed weirdo they found on the internet and met up with at his run down van/home, seeking his sage advice about aliens and government conspiracies. 2.5/5
|
|
#
¿
May 16, 2017 21:46
|
|