2016 NFL Season Redux

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2016 NFL Season Redux

«‹›6 »

MrLogan: Feb 4, 2004; Ask me about Derek Carr's stolen MVP awards, those dastardly refs, and, oh yeah, having the absolute worst fucking gimmick in The Football Funhouse.

a neat cape posted:

I feel like it's biased against the Raiders and I am a-ok with it

It's almost as if they are missing their best player.

# ? Jul 11, 2017 00:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 08:43

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

MrLogan posted:

It's almost as if they are missing their best player.

Carr is playing

# ? Jul 11, 2017 01:06

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

a neat cape posted:

Crabtree is playing

# ? Jul 11, 2017 01:15

The Big Jesus: Oct 29, 2007; #essereFerrari

FebrezeNinja posted:

The sim cheats! It gave the Colts the win with a first-drive FG.
Nice 4Q comeback though.

Filing an official protest with OP

# ? Jul 11, 2017 16:19

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

At least the sim's still getting the Browns right.

# ? Jul 12, 2017 01:49

Sad King Billy: Jan 27, 2006; Thats three of ours innit...to one of yours. You know mate I really think we ought to even up the average!

Mega64 posted:

At least the sim's still getting the Browns right.

The worst humiliation of the season was meted out to the Browns by the Bengals, 62-9.

Maybe Cape is running '85 Bears by accident?

# ? Jul 12, 2017 12:53

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Week Twelve :siren:

Vikings 29, Lions 7
Washington 44, Cowboys 14
Colts 44, Steelers 38 F/OT
Titans 23, Bears 13
Bills 29, Jaguars 26
Bengals 27, Ravens 20
Cardinals 28, Falcons 25
Giants 16, Browns 10
Saints 38, Rams 35
Dolphins 35, 49ers 3
Chargers 31, Texans 16
Seahawks 27, Bucs 20
Patriots 13, Jets 12
Raiders 31, Panthers 23
Chiefs 30, Broncos 11
Eagles 26, Packers 24

Playoff Race:

AFC:

1. Titans (9-3)
2. Bengals (8-3)
3. Chiefs (7-4)
4. Patriots (6-5)
5. Ravens (7-4)
6. Texans (7-4)

7. Steelers (7-4)
8. Chargers (6-5)
9. Dolphins (6-5)

NFC:

1. Bears (9-2)
2. Falcons (8-3)
3. Cardinals (8-3)
4. Eagles (7-4)
5. Seahawks (8-4)
6. Washington (7-4)

7. Cowboys (7-4)
8. Packers (6-5)
9. Giants (6-5)

AFC East:

Patriots 6-5 (3-1)
Dolphins 6-5 (2-1)
Bills 5-6 (2-2)
Jets 4-7 (0-3)

AFC North:

Bengals 8-3 (2-1)
Ravens 7-4 (3-1)
Steelers 7-4 (2-1)
Browns 0-12 (0-4)

AFC South:

Titans 9-3 (2-2)
Texans 7-4 (3-0)
Jaguars 4-7 (1-2)
Colts 3-8 (1-3)

AFC West:

Chiefs 7-4 (2-1)
Chargers 6-5 (2-1)
Broncos 5-6 (1-3)
Raiders 2-9 (1-2)

NFC East:

Eagles 7-4 (2-1)
Washington 7-4 (2-2)
Cowboys 7-4 (1-3)
Giants 6-5 (2-1)

NFC North:

Bears 9-2 (2-1)
Packers 6-5 (2-1)
Lions 4-7 (1-3)
Vikings 4-7 (2-2)

NFC South:

Falcons 8-3 (4-0)
Saints 7-4 (1-2)
Panthers 5-6 (2-2)
Bucs 1-10 (0-3)

NFC West:

Cardinals 8-3 (1-2)
Seahawks 8-4 (4-0)
Rams 3-8 (2-1)
49ers 2-10 (0-4)

# ? Jul 16, 2017 18:13

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

The juggernaut that is the simulated titans validates all my posts

# ? Jul 16, 2017 18:27

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

there is not much belief to go around as it pertains to these results

# ? Jul 16, 2017 18:29

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Browns might go winless :chloe:

# ? Jul 16, 2017 19:30

Joey Freshwater: Jun 20, 2004; Always playing with my meat; Grimey Drawer

JFC

# ? Jul 16, 2017 19:30

Shangri-Law School: Feb 19, 2013

These stat-based simulations can't account for the magisterial coaching of Jim Caldwell and the osmium balls of Matthew Stafford.

F-

# ? Jul 16, 2017 20:07

Sataere: Jul 20, 2005; Step 1: Start fight
Step 2: Attack straw man
Step 3: REPEAT

Do not engage with me

Metapod posted:

The juggernaut that is the simulated titans validates all my posts

The Bears we're no match for exotic smashmouth.

# ? Jul 17, 2017 20:44

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

Tannehill just efficient out there

# ? Jul 17, 2017 20:46

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

reluctant to fart while viewing these results.

# ? Jul 20, 2017 00:06

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

[quote="a neat cape" post="474417546"]
:siren:

Week Thirteen :siren:

Cowboys 38, Vikings 18
Falcons 38, Chiefs 13
Lions 13, Saints 9
Patriots 27, Rams 22
Broncos 16, Jaguars 13
Texans 31, Packers 10
Bengals 19, Eagles 16
Ravens 34, Dolphins 31 F/OT
Bears 41, 49ers 9
Raiders 30, Bills 11
Giants 35, Steelers 13
Washington 21, Cardinals 15
Bucs 22, Chargers 19
Seahawks 21, Panthers 16
Colts 37, Jets 31

Playoff Race:

AFC:

1. Titans (9-3)
2. Bengals (9-3)
3. Chiefs (7-5)
4. Patriots (7-5)
5. Ravens (8-4)
6. Texans (8-4)

7. Steelers (7-5)
8. Chargers (6-6)
9. Dolphins (6-6)
10. Broncos (6-6)

NFC:

1. Bears (10-2)
2. Falcons (9-3)
3. Seahawks (8-4)
4. Washington (8-4)
5. Cardinals (8-4)
6. Eagles (7-5)

7. Cowboys (7-5)
8. Giants (7-5)
9. Saints (7-5)
10. Packers (6-6)

AFC East:

Patriots 7-5 (3-1)
Dolphins 6-6 (2-1)
Bills 5-7 (2-2)
Jets 4-8 (0-3)

AFC North:

Bengals 9-3 (2-1)
Ravens 8-4 (3-1)
Steelers 7-5 (2-1)
Browns 0-12 (0-4)

AFC South:

Titans 9-3 (2-2)
Texans 8-4 (3-0)
Jaguars 4-8 (1-2)
Colts 4-8 (1-3)

AFC West:

Chiefs 7-5 (2-1)
Chargers 6-6 (2-1)
Broncos 6-6 (1-3)
Raiders 3-9 (1-2)

NFC East:

Eagles 7-5 (2-1)
Washington 8-4 (2-2)
Cowboys 8-4 (1-3)
Giants 7-5 (2-1)

NFC North:

Bears 10-2 (2-1)
Packers 6-6 (2-1)
Lions 5-7 (1-3)
Vikings 4-8 (2-2)

NFC South:

Falcons 9-3 (4-0)
Saints 7-5 (1-2)
Panthers 5-7 (2-2)
Bucs 2-10 (0-3)

NFC West:

Seahawks 8-4 (4-0)
Cardinals 8-4 (1-2)
Rams 3-9 (2-1)
49ers 2-11 (0-4)

# ? Jul 23, 2017 18:46

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

loving lmao your sim only gives the Bucs 2 wins and one is over the Chargers.

# ? Jul 23, 2017 19:00

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

9 pass attempts? i can't believe these results!

# ? Jul 23, 2017 22:29

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Week Fourteen :siren:

Raiders 30, Chiefs 17
Steelers 23, Bills 17
Broncos 17, Titans 13
Eagles 38, Washington 35 game of the week holy poo poo
Dolphins 27, Cardinals 26
Vikings 33, Jaguars 25
Texans 30, Colts 15
Bengals 41, Browns 10
Bears 28, Lions 25
Chargers 24, Panthers 13
49ers 36, Jets 27
Saints 20, Bucs 17
Falcons 24, Rams 21
Packers 24, Seahawks 16
Cowboys 23, Giants 17
Ravens 38, Patriots 24

Playoff Race:

AFC:

1. Bengals (10-3)
2. Texans (9-4)
3. Chargers (7-6)
4. Patriots (7-6)
5. Ravens (9-4)
6. Titans (9-4)

7. Steelers (8-5)
8. Chiefs (7-6)
9. Dolphins (7-6)
10. Broncos (7-6)

NFC:

1. Bears (11-2)
2. Falcons (10-3)
3. Cowboys (9-4)
4. Seahawks (8-5)
5. Cardinals (8-5)
6. Eagles (8-5)

7. Washington (8-5)
8. Saints (8-5)
9. Giants (7-6)
10. Packers (7-6)

AFC East:

Patriots 7-6 (3-1)
Dolphins 7-6 (2-1)
Bills 5-8 (2-2)
Jets 4-9 (0-3)

AFC North:

Bengals 10-3 (3-1)
Ravens 9-4 (3-1)
Steelers 8-5 (2-1)
Browns 0-13 (0-5)

AFC South:

Texans 9-4 (4-0)
Titans 9-4 (2-2)
Jaguars 4-9 (1-2)
Colts 4-9 (1-4)

AFC West:

Chargers 7-6 (2-1)
Chiefs 7-6 (2-2)
Broncos 7-6 (1-3)
Raiders 4-9 (2-2)

NFC East:

Cowboys 9-4 (2-3)
Eagles 8-5 (3-1)
Washington 8-5 (2-3)
Giants 7-6 (2-2)

NFC North:

Bears 11-2 (3-1)
Packers 7-6 (2-1)
Vikings 5-8 (2-2)
Lions 5-8 (1-4)

NFC South:

Falcons 10-3 (4-0)
Saints 8-5 (2-2)
Panthers 5-8 (2-2)
Bucs 2-11 (0-4)

NFC West:

Seahawks 8-5 (4-0)
Cardinals 8-5 (1-2)
Rams 3-10 (2-1)
49ers 3-11 (0-4)

# ? Jul 30, 2017 19:16

korrandark: Jan 5, 2009

ANDEY "MVP" DALTON

# ? Jul 30, 2017 19:25

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

the bears Should win the super bowl. that result would be "screwy" on here. On the internet with us

# ? Jul 30, 2017 19:45

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

Can we fire coaches in this simulated universe?

# ? Jul 30, 2017 21:12

MalarkeyToboggan: Jan 4, 2015

fsif posted:

Can we fire coaches in this simulated universe?

Sure but only after week 16 and you can't discuss the firing of said coach with the GM who you also fire after the draft. It's a very realistic simulation.

# ? Jul 30, 2017 21:55

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Aww Yeah Texans

# ? Jul 30, 2017 23:57

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Week Fifteen :siren:

Rams 21, Seahawks 16
Dolphins 27, Jets 24
Bears 41, Packers 24
Browns 45, Bills 37
Ravens 34, Eagles 24
Titans 41, Chiefs 16
Giants 34, Lions 31 F/OT
Bengals 36, Steelers 34 F/OT
Vikings 27, Colts 26
Texans 34, Jaguars 13
Saints 31, Cardinals 24
Falcons 47, 49ers 13
Chargers 31, Raiders 24
Patriots 31, Broncos 13
Cowboys 31, Bucs 20
Panthers 36, Washington 33 F/OT

Playoff Race:

AFC:

1. Bengals (11-3)
2. Texans (10-4)
3. Chargers (8-6)
4. Patriots (8-6)
5. Ravens (10-4)
6. Titans (10-4)

7. Dolphins (8-6)
8. Steelers (8-6)
9. Chiefs (7-7)
10. Broncos (7-7)

NFC:

1. Bears (12-2)
2. Falcons (11-3)
3. Cowboys (10-4)
4. Seahawks (8-6)
5. Saints (9-5)
6. Cardinals (8-6)

7. Eagles (8-6)
8. Washington (8-6)
9. Giants (8-6)
10. Packers (7-7)

AFC East:

Patriots 8-6 (3-1)
Dolphins 8-6 (3-1)
Bills 5-9 (2-2)
Jets 4-10 (0-4)

AFC North:

Bengals 11-3 (4-1)
Ravens 10-4 (3-1)
Steelers 8-6 (2-2)
Browns 1-13 (0-5)

AFC South:

Texans 10-4 (5-0)
Titans 10-4 (2-2)
Jaguars 4-10 (1-3)
Colts 4-10 (1-4)

AFC West:

Chargers 8-6 (3-1)
Chiefs 7-7 (2-2)
Broncos 7-7 (1-3)
Raiders 4-10 (2-3)

NFC East:

Cowboys 10-4 (2-3)
Eagles 8-6 (3-1)
Giants 8-6 (2-2)
Washington 8-6 (2-3)

NFC North:

Bears 12-2 (4-1)
Packers 7-7 (2-2)
Vikings 6-8 (2-2)
Lions 5-9 (1-4)

NFC South:

Falcons 11-3 (4-0)
Saints 9-5 (2-2)
Panthers 6-8 (2-2)
Bucs 2-12 (0-4)

NFC West:

Seahawks 8-6 (4-1)
Cardinals 8-6 (1-2)
Rams 4-10 (3-1)
49ers 3-11 (0-4)

a neat cape fucked around with this message at 21:40 on Aug 6, 2017

# ? Aug 6, 2017 17:55

a patagonian cavy: Jan 12, 2009; UUA CVG 230000 KZID /RM TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE BENGALS DYNASTY

andey

# ? Aug 6, 2017 17:57

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling
1-800-GAMBLER; Ultra Carp

So is Ross secretly a Bears fan or what

# ? Aug 6, 2017 17:58

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

The Bills? Really?

You just didn't want the only team the Browns beat to be the Chargers.

Don't forget to bench Ben, Antonio Brown and Bell for Week 17.

# ? Aug 6, 2017 18:04

OperaMouse: Oct 30, 2010

So why are the 9-5 Saints in the hunt, but two 8-6 teams have a wildcard?

# ? Aug 6, 2017 21:09

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

OperaMouse posted:

So why are the 9-5 Saints in the hunt, but two 8-6 teams have a wildcard?

shhhhh

# ? Aug 6, 2017 21:16

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Ross in one place it says we are 7-7 and the other it says 8-6

Please advise

# ? Aug 6, 2017 21:18

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Ehud posted:

Ross in one place it says we are 7-7 and the other it says 8-6

Please advise

I was tired this morning ok

# ? Aug 6, 2017 21:40

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

Believable results? actually, not very

# ? Aug 6, 2017 21:43

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

The Cleveland Browns scored 45 points in a football game.

# ? Aug 6, 2017 22:44

Abugadu: Jul 12, 2004; 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

Cavauro posted:

Believable results? actually, not very

I had a dream that the bengals would win in ot on a safety...

# ? Aug 7, 2017 04:28

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Cavauro posted:

Believable results? actually, not very

According to this sim, the Bucs are worse than the Jets, Jags, and the loving Bears.

Bad Sim.

# ? Aug 11, 2017 16:00

Sataere: Jul 20, 2005; Step 1: Start fight
Step 2: Attack straw man
Step 3: REPEAT

Do not engage with me

WampaLord posted:

According to this sim, the Bucs are worse than the Jets, Jags, and the loving Bears.

Bad Sim.

I believe this sim to be prophetic. Have you heard the good word of Mitchell?

# ? Aug 11, 2017 17:47

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Week Sixteen AND Seventeen because I want to get this done before the season actually starts :siren:

Giants 44, Eagles 14
Bills 38, Dolphins 28
Patriots 35, Jets 19
Jaguars 31, Titans 10
Vikings 19, Packers 16
Chargers 21, Browns 17
Washington 34, Bears 31
Falcons 34, Panthers 31
Colts 37, Raiders 26
Bucs 20, Saints 13
Seahawks 16, Cardinals 6
Rams 26, 49ers 23
Bengals 34, Texans 13
Ravens 31, Steelers 14
Chiefs 15, Broncos 12 F/OT
Cowboys 23, Lions 17

Bengals 47, Ravens 44 F/OT
Titans 25, Texans 6
Bucs 31, Panthers 16
Steelers 38, Browns 28
Eagles 24, Cowboys 10
Bills 30, Jets 28
Vikings 31, Bears 28
Colts 24, Jaguars 17
Patriots 45, Dolphins 9
Cardinals 16, Rams 13
Chargers 38, Chiefs 35
Broncos 13, Raiders 12
Washington 41, Giants 31
Seahawks 31, 49ers 6
Falcons 34, Saints 26
Lions 29, Packers 24

AFC East:

Patriots 10-6 (5-1)
Dolphins 8-8 (3-3)
Bills 7-9 (4-2)
Jets 4-12 (0-6)

AFC North:

Bengals 13-3 (5-1)
Ravens 11-5 (4-2)
Steelers 9-7 (3-3)
Browns 1-15 (0-6)

AFC South:

Titans 11-5 (3-3)
Texans 10-6 (5-1)
Colts 6-10 (2-4)
Jaguars 5-11 (2-4)

AFC West:

Chargers 10-6 (5-1)
Chiefs 8-8 (3-3)
Broncos 8-8 (2-4)
Raiders 4-12 (2-4)

NFC East:

Cowboys 11-5 (2-4)
Washington 10-6 (3-3)
Eagles 9-7 (4-2)
Giants 9-7 (3-3)

NFC North:

Bears 12-4 (4-2)
Vikings 8-8 (4-2)
Packers 7-9 (2-4)
Lions 6-10 (2-4)

NFC South:

Falcons 13-3 (6-0)
Saints 9-7 (2-4)
Panthers 6-10 (2-4)
Bucs 4-12 (2-4)

NFC West:

Seahawks 10-6 (5-1)
Cardinals 9-7 (3-3)
Rams 5-11 (4-2)
49ers 3-13 (0-6)

And now, after applying tiebreaks....

Playoff Teams

AFC:

1. Cincinnati Bengals (13-3)
2. Tennessee Titans (11-5)
3. San Diego Chargers (10-6) (Over New England based on Conference Record, 9-3 vs 7-5)
4. New England Patriots (10-6)
5. Baltimore Ravens (11-5)
6. Houston Texans (10-6)

NFC:

1. Atlanta Falcons (13-3)
2. Chicago Bears (12-4)
3. Dallas Cowboys (11-5)
4. Seattle Seahawks (10-6)
5. Washington Football Team (10-6)
6. Philadelphia Eagles (9-7) (6th seed based on conference record, 8-4 compared to 7-5 for New Orleans, and 6-6 for Arizona)

:siren:

Wild Card Matchups :siren:

(6)Philadelphia Eagles at (3)Dallas Cowboys
(5)Washington at (4)Seattle Seahawks

(6)Houston Texans at (3)San Diego Chargers
(5)Baltimore Ravens at (4)New England Patriots

# ? Aug 13, 2017 20:02

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

lol Steelers collapsed, aw yiss

# ? Aug 13, 2017 20:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 08:43

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Texans have better season, barely make playoffs. Makes sense.

# ? Aug 13, 2017 20:11

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2016 NFL Season Redux

«‹›6 »