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Thank you to everyone who submitted a question. Sorry it took so long but I had to wait until enough questions had been submitted. The QUESTION PORTION of our pageant can now get under way. The ability to think under pressure, to synthesize information from different sources, to express your thoughts clearly, to turn a phrase and tickle a rib,and to shine a compassionate and thoughtful light on a difficult topic -- these are the hallmarks of BYOB posters. The QUESTION PORTION of this pageant is intended to give contestants a chance to show off their wit, their poise, their knowledge and their inner beauty. Contestants, make one post, in the medium of your choice, answering the question you have been posed. You do not have to use words, but words are good too. Your answers are due by THURSDAY, JUNE 1st, MIDNIGHT EST Judges basically think about what you'd like to emptyquote. And the questions are: vanisher - North Korea has utilized a deterrent-based strategy for their own security since shortly after the end of the Korean War. While never taking action that might tip the status quo against them, they have steadily expanded their deterrent capabilities, and have unabashedly chased raising the stakes to nuclear arms. Even without such weapons, analysis such as you'll find on stratfor.com illustrates that the immediate consequence of conflict with North Korea would be at least the partial destruction of Seoul. At what point are other countries ethically justified to make the decision to endanger the lives of South Korean citizens, and if never, should North Korea be allowed to eventually establish a large ICBM stockpile and potentially threaten the entire world? What actions would you advise? posting smiling - Why, and more importantly, why not? lmbo calrissian - you encounter a strange genie that grants you the wish that the last person left behind. you are granted the wish of "one extra body part of your choice, any species." how do you spend your wish, and what do you leave for the next person who encounters the strange genie? Manifisto – What do you wish you had, how often, and why? eugene v. dabs - Who do you look up to? King of the Beach - As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. These seven wives had seven sacks. The seven sacks had seven cats. The seven cats had seven kits. Kits, cats, sacks, wives. How many were squandering the best years of their lives? munchables - Who is faster: Mario or Sonic? HotSoapyBeard – What do you believe is the best thing one could store in their belly button, in a world where empty belly buttons are FORBIDDEN. N. Senada - How should I eat this burrito for maximum enjoyment?  pig slut lisa - Who should win? (cannot be yourself, a judge, or any contestant) City of Glompton – Who do you look down on? farg - What's song number 2 on your "Good Playlist filled with Great Music" playlist? alnilam - Raw capitalism has been the status quo for world trade since trade routes between countries were established. What strategies could be used to help limit the impact of unrestricted trade against countries who are happy to trade the rights of their citizens for some extra bucks in a corrupt government's bank accounts? How do you prevent such corporations from moving to other countries that are less restrictive just to continue their abuse of power? They Might Be - What's an updog? hockey jockey - you have a week to catch the best frog you can for the hoppin' fast frog race rally at the county fair. how would you catch the fella, and what characteristics would you look for in a racing frog? Android Blues - The Fermi Paradox illustrates the problem of a seemingly gigantic universe seemingly teeming with life-compatible planets, while we sit in silence, seemingly the only intelligent life that has sent messages to the universe at large during the scale in which we could intercept such messages. What possible explanations do you support as to why this is the case? fanky malloons - What will it take to bring stability back to the euro and foreign markets? Mr Willsauce – Would you rather win this pageant or the lottery? Hogge Wild - Bias throughout the world continues to be a major problem. Even more troubling are the findings that those that think they are the most objective are often more biased than average. This implies those that feel they are least vulnerable to systemic discrimination are in fact prime movers of such discrimination. What social policies do you think would be appropriate for helping to establish a more equal society, and thus a more successful implementation of the social contract? cda fucked around with this message at 14:58 on May 27, 2017 ---------------- |
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May 27, 2017 11:56
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quote:North Korea has utilized a deterrent-based strategy for their own security since shortly after the end of the Korean War. While never taking action that might tip the status quo against them, they have steadily expanded their deterrent capabilities, and have unabashedly chased raising the stakes to nuclear arms. Even without such weapons, analysis such as you'll find on stratfor.com illustrates that the immediate consequence of conflict with North Korea would be at least the partial destruction of Seoul. At what point are other countries ethically justified to make the decision to endanger the lives of South Korean citizens, and if never, should North Korea be allowed to eventually establish a large ICBM stockpile and potentially threaten the entire world? What actions would you advise?  Haha just kidding judges  To affect any lasting change or solution to a problem, it helps to focus not just on the immediate issue, but the original choice or circumstances that created the issue in the first place. Certainly all our circumstances are a result of our choices, and given identical circumstances, even a rational group of individuals would likely make similar choices and then find themselves in identical unwanted circumstances as a result! As a small chunky shorebird species I spend most of my time on the ground in brushy, young-forest habitats, where my brown, black, and gray plumage provides excellent camouflage from predators. My plump body, short legs, large rounded head, and long, straight prehensile bill make me a popular game bird, so I know what it's like to be oppressed. Also, my diet is mostly seeds and bugs. This gives me a unique insight into the average North Korean citizens experience. It's not well remembered or known by most Americans, but the Korean war was brutal and devastating to the North Koreans. There was systematic bombing and destruction of almost all infrastructure, and casualties were a substantial percentage of the total North Korean population. Anti-American sentiment amongst the remaining population was high, as they blamed them for their plight and devastated nation. Leadership emerged which reinforced and empathized with this feeling. In later years the North Korean regime saw how dictators were being ousted by opposition supported by the west (especially during the Arab Spring and other events), and chose to intensify their armed protection and isolationist stance, reinforcing it's citizens anti-american feelings, and holding entire families accountable for one person's anti-nationalistic view. I would propose that the core issues: anger at having their nation ravaged during war, and a fear of having their leadership toppled, have not been addressed in a meaningful or mature way. Is it as simple as addressing these core issues for an immediate solution? Could we work at assisting the North Korean regime rebuild their infrastructure and expect massive immediate changes in decades long protectionist measures? Can we address the policies the US and others have taken to oust regimes tomorrow and expect complete trust from the North Korean government that we will not support a rival democratic faction within the country if it emerges? No, such an assumption is absurd. But all of life's issues and problems are never solved this way. If I take this steak and throw it in the microwave on high for five minutes, will it acquire the depth of flavors and taste just as if I place it in the smoker for five hours? Do I enjoy the steak while it is being cooked in the smoker? Is my hunger satisfied while I wait for the end result? But at the end of the process, I'm left with a better result for having made the investment. A true investment from either party would not result in an immediate change, or show any outward solution, but over time could allow trust on other levels. A definition of maturity is one's ability to delay gratification. Perhaps the real question is who is the more mature party? When do we demand results? The irony is that the way any true solution will look will not have any measurable immediate results. Will we secure 100% of what we think we need today in the eventual solution? No. But the funny thing about these solutions is that they can be multi-generational, and if we lay the groundwork now, we can impact and set the stage for tomorrows leaders to make a lasting peaceful solution.
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May 28, 2017 01:28
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Well, to the untrained, sonic may seem faster than mario, after all his shtick is that he rolls around, at the speed of sound no less, while no such claims are made about everyone's second-favorite plumber. But let's examine a few things, first of all, sonic's adventures take place on earth, and just by looking at him we can tell he doesn't move at the speed advertised. Some kind of chicanery is going on; he can easily navigate across uneven terrain while traveling at top speed, but at no point do we see a sonic boom. And on the subject of sonic boom, we can clearly see that sonic's companions have no issue keeping pace with him even though his speed is supposed to set him apart, so clearly this is false advertising and an attempt to brainwash the player into believing that the blue hedgehog can go so fast. Mario, on the other hand, is humble. No claims are made about his speed. While sonic travels through zones and the passage of time is clearly shown, Mario travels to other worlds within a matter of hours, depending on the player's skill. Mario's even travelled in space, without being slowed, and his metabolism is shown to be near instant. When he consumes a mushroom or flower or star, its effects are near instantaneous. Mario also has the ability to run so fast that he can glide, and even fly with the assistance of only a tail. Mario also has the ability to spin a cape so fast it reflects projectiles, and the ability to increase the height of his jumps by conserving speed and energy and releasing more each jump. In his first appearance, he was even able to briefly freeze time after hitting a barrel with a hammer. In conclusion, Mario is faster in sonic in ways that are near imperceptible to the untrained eye, and ift unappreciated by his fans and friends. |
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May 28, 2017 01:39
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Hi everybody! I'm kind of put out that I got this question instead of one of the easy ones about world politics, but that's the way the cookie crumbles! Fortunately, after dolls houses, racing frogs is my favourite hobby, so you're getting some premium tips and tricks here for your own future endeavours. I hope the judges will take that into account  The problem amateurs usually whinge most about is the obvious one- frogs are slippery. Well, hello Einstein. How do you think you might make things less slippery? That's right- sandpaper gloves. Once you've grasped your frog with a pair of 50 grits, he's going nowhere. Problem 2 is getting close enough to catch him in the first place. Again, common sense makes it simple. We've all seen roadrunner cartoons! Disguise yourself as a sexy female frog, hop over to your smitten target and grab. So, what kind of frogs do you want to be ensnaring with your slimy wiles? You don't want to go to all this trouble and expense only to find yourself saddled with an ambitious newt. You need to look for big legs, but don't be taken in by greedy frogs with fat thighs. Give them a good squeeze to make sure it's all muscle. Big feet are a good characteristic, as long as they're strong and flexible- again, a bit of squeezing and poking is in order. Finally, how do you make the chosen frog hop fast enough to win the race? That one is blindingly obvious. Once you have grabbed a horny frog with sandpaper gloves, squeezed his legs and feet exhaustively and not even given him a shag afterwards, you can be sure that as soon as you open his cardboard box on race day you won't see the little guy for dust.
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May 28, 2017 17:43
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quote:eugene v. dabs - Who do you look up to? right now i don't know which way is up so that's too hard of a question for me to answer in my current circumstances. life isn't being kind so pass.
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May 28, 2017 17:47
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Eugene V. Dabs posted:right now i don't know which way is up so that's too hard of a question for me to answer in my current circumstances. life isn't being kind so pass. I would like the Judges to consider this answer as "The person I look up to right now is myself" because, in the context of the answer given, the only person the contestant is looking up to right now is themself. As such, I would like Eugene V. Dabs to consider the following: I believe in you and as such I empower you to get past this hardship in your life and overcome whatever challenges beset you. Believe in you, and all else will follow. Thank you for reading. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 28, 2017 18:01
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Splatmaster posted:I would like the Judges to consider this answer as "The person I look up to right now is myself" because, in the context of the answer given, the only person the contestant is looking up to right now is themself. As such, I would like Eugene V. Dabs to consider the following: I believe in you and as such I empower you to get past this hardship in your life and overcome whatever challenges beset you. Believe in you, and all else will follow. Thank you for reading. This, and please give Eugene 50% of my points for this round, thanks.
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May 28, 2017 19:02
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cda posted:What do you believe is the best thing one could store in their belly button, in a world where empty belly buttons are FORBIDDEN.  Good evening judges, members of the audience. I'd like to thank you for the opportunity to be here and the other contestants for their graceful and spectacular performances so far, I think you're all fantastic. I'd also like to say that I believe in education and that we need to invest in our children to improve our society for everyone from every race or religion even if they like anime. Well judges, I've been mulling this one over and I think I've reached a conclusion but I think we need to explore all the aspects of the question. Firstly, to store something in your belly button you would either have to lie down all the time i.e. To store my initial idea of a well-sized marble or you would have to store something sticky/pasty like mashed potato. This brings up an important question... would it be worth lying down all the time in order to have something useful in there like a cool marble rather than being able to walk around but have to have some icky mashed potato or toffee in there. Also when asking what is the "best" thing to store in there, well, if your belly button can never be empty then whatever you have in there basically has no function if it can never be removed so when choosing what's "best" do you go for... Comfort?: a piece of fluff(lame) or... Aesthetic?: a cool marble(totally rad but may have to be sticky to stay in there). Now I know what you're thinking: "this guy is going to choose a totally dope shiny marble but there's one more thing to address and that's the concept of a world where empty belly buttons are FORBIDDEN. Such a state of existence could only be in some kind of totalitarian dictatorship so maybe when we look at the social implications of a subjugated people forced to store things in their belly buttons, the best thing to store in one's belly button would be NOTHING as a symbol of FREEDOM!! Thank you again and enjoy the rest of your evening. Peace and love for all |
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May 28, 2017 23:16
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cda posted:
Hey fam, I see your burrito there. And I see your disappointment there. It looks like somebody already cut your little donkey and let the innards start spilling out all over a plain white surface. gross We'll get through this together. You may have noticed there's some avocado, white rice (with cilantro), a handful of maybe roasted maybe plain corn, the lettuce, your chunks of tomato, and what appears to be a few chunks of MEAT. You may be wondering, is there sauce, is it spicy, is it good? Let me assuage your concerns: you see that wrap around it? That's what you're looking for. That's the good poo poo. You get that carb-y goodness warmed up, a little toasted, and it won't matter what's inside that bad boy. It'll be warm, and loving, and good. You know why? Because it's bread. And when you eat bread you're eating the cumulative wisdom and achievements of all our ancestors who had the good grace to bring flour into the world. You get that tortilla shell warmed up and you will ensure that whatever you're putting in your body will go down smooth. Get toastin', fam.
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May 29, 2017 13:49
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Happy halloween |
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esteemed judges, judgettes, and judgekin: it is indeed an honor to appear before you with my answer to the question, “what do you wish you had, how often, and why?” it seems to me that this is a question that calls for an opinion, and as we all know opinions are like butts: they’re entertaining and sometimes overly ample. so I will endeavor to keep this answer short, yet not so short as to lose points in the competition. long enough so the judges will see I have put some genuine effort into my answer, but succinct enough so you don’t get bored. this is not meant to be the kim kardashian of opinions, but rather the opinion corresponding to some celebrity who (whom?) you feel to have a butt that is well-proportioned, modest but not miserly, ample yet demure, playful yet articulate. oh and also somebody topical, I mean is kim kardashian even still a thing? hello??? anybody??? I suppose a thing I very much wish I had right now is a word that accurately sums up how I feel about the judges in this competition. I want to convey great respect, but without obsequiousness. I want to give the impression that I’ve been paying a lot of attention to your posts and contributions to byob and/or the subforums where you post often, and let you know that I feel you are actually one of the most important and valued members of the relevant communities, but I want to shy away from excessive presumptuousness in implying I am more active or admired in said circles than you believe me to be. I wish to implicitly confirm any and all positive beliefs you might have about me, subtly emphasizing your perceptiveness in arriving at such impressions, while gently correcting in a nonconfrontational manner any negative impressions you might feel in connection with me or the manifisto posting brand. how often do I wish I had such a word? approximately as often as you think I should wish that, but slightly less or more often—just enough of a difference to confirm that I think for myself and am not mindlessly parroting* your own thoughts and beliefs (*no offense to parrots intended). this provides wiggle room for me to accept an occasional correction from you, underscoring my respect for your intelligence and judgment. why? hopefully this is obvious. the reason I hope this is obvious is it means you have an idea of what you think the right answer to be, which I will then seek to reassure you is the view that I also hold. however, should you not find the reason to be obvious, I would like to congratulate you on being a discerning thinker and someone who does not rush to premature conclusions about complex questions. that’s one of your key virtues, unless you feel it’s one of your less promiment virtues in which case you are almost certainly right about that—you generally are. in sum, thank you again for asking such a thoughtful and penetrating question. it’s just one of the many reasons that I value your [POSIMERITORIFFICNONASSKISSISHNESS? NOTE TO SELF: LOCATE BETTER WORD BEFORE SUBMITTING FINAL ANSWER TO JUDGES].
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May 30, 2017 15:17
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Esteemed judges, As I am sure you know, money, much like time, is an ideological construct used to bind humanity within the most un-chill of systems: capitalism. I believe, therefore, that there is a strong argument to be made that the Euro isn’t even real anyway. In fact, I’ll make that argument right now: money is a social construct, and the Euro isn’t real. BOOM. In terms of the markets, it is my view that their current instability derives from the inherent un-chillness of capitalism. “But wait,” you may say, “aren’t the problems actually due to issues that stem from and maybe even pre-date the collapse and subsequent bail-out of the Greek economy by the richer and more powerful EU countries?” Well, probably yes, BUT those economy-collapsing issues are most definitely the result of the permanent state of needing to chill TF out that capitalism causes in all societies. Look at Iceland – they are way more chill than Greece, both in terms of personality AND climate, and you probably didn’t even remember that their economy collapsed. Why? Because they’re super chill. Like, hella chill, my dudes. I know, I’ve been there (in the airport). And probably also because we all forget that Iceland exists sometimes. Unlike time, and the Euro, Iceland actually is real, even though it doesn’t seem like it should be. It’s very confusing, as is the science of economics. Anyway, given that the Euro probably isn’t real, and that capitalism is the most un-chill of economic systems, I propose that we abolish it entirely, along with all other currencies, and instead adopt an economy of BYOB-style chill, with currency replaced by bees. In the BYOBeeconomy, friendship and chill would be the most valuable things, rather than the extraction of maximum profit and the concentration of material wealth in the hands of the owners of production. The use of bees as currency would serve a dual purpose: it would encourage people to work to reverse the decline in bee populations worldwide (a v. important task, because bees are a keystone species), and it would prevent anyone from hoarding too much bee-wealth, because bees can sense how chill you are and also they do what they want. Nobody can truly own a bee, so if they felt a person was being too un-chill and getting bee-greedy they would just peace out. No more bees for you, you jerk. The beauty of this system is that even if all your bees left, you wouldn’t be poor, because in the BYOBeeconomy, built on a solid foundation of being chill, all of your skills would be valuable. Since bees are sentient and may not always be willing to go along with being the currency in a bee-based barter system, other things like telling good jokes or making really great pies would also be acceptable forms of payment for goods or services. All of the talents displayed by my beautiful and brilliant fellow competitors would be precious commodities, sought after by all, instead of hobbies that we have to fit in around boring office jobs. We could all be artists and beekeepers and live the BYOB(ee) dream! It would be so beautiful I can hardly stand to think about it anymore *a dramatic pause as I wipe a single tear from my eye* So there you have it. Money isn't real. Abolish the Euro, replace it with bees. Do away with capitalism and replace it with maximum chill at all times. Everybody wins! Honey not money! Honey not money! BEE-CO-NOM-ICS! BEE-CO-NOM-ICS! BEE-CO-NOM- [ A large hook extends from the wings and yanks competitor off the stage ]
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May 31, 2017 03:53
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sig brought to you by the amazing & beautiful vanisher, feat. Helle Woods, artisinally designed by Death Sext !!!
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Genuinely in awe of Manifisto, Fanky, N and HSB.
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May 31, 2017 11:18
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quote:Raw capitalism has been the status quo for world trade since trade routes between countries were established. What strategies could be used to help limit the impact of unrestricted trade against countries who are happy to trade the rights of their citizens for some extra bucks in a corrupt government's bank accounts? How do you prevent such corporations from moving to other countries that are less restrictive just to continue their abuse of power? Well gosh darn, you've gone and picked a topic that I care about and think about a lot and enjoy talking about, so you're gonna get a serious answer. The Problem The question itself summarizes the problem pretty well. Even if a given country implemented my entire (long) wishlist of environmental and labor rules, how do you escape the fact that in a global economy, the firms in that country will likely either move to, or be undercut by, another country where firms are allowed to abuse workers and dump pollutants wantonly? I'll add that a common response to this, that it's "better than what they [the abused workers over there] had before, at least," falls apart fairly easily: if we've already agreed that it's not good enough for us here, why should we accept it being done over there? To maintain this defense, you would have to openly admit that you think the people and environment here are special, are more worthy of protection, than the people over there. And what makes you so h*ckin special? Huh? The Competition: Other Decent Answers Wishing for full, global, and uncorrupt communism, assuming you have a genie who is kind and not the ironic type, would certainly do the trick. But Robin Williams tragically died on 4/20 at age 69, so no genie wish for me... and failing a genie wish, while I will not dismiss this as a possibility I find it more farfetched than other alternatives. Then there's accelerationism, the idea that we shouldn't fix the current system, in order to hasten radical change. While I understand where it's coming from, leaving capital completely unchecked results in a lot of suffering in the meantime for the lower classes and allows possibly entire generations of upper classes to get away with murder and get rich doing it, with no proven promise of making itself worthwhile in the long run. So with no disrespect to the accelerationists, let's put that one aside as well. Another vaguely pipe-dream sort of answer is strong global governmental body, for example the UN if the UN had more teeth and less internal squabbles. Such a global government would be able to pass rules against abuse of workers and environment, presumably have the teeth to enforce them well, and the firms would have nowhere to hide and no choice but to comply. However, cultural differences across the world, not to mention various national attachments to sovereignty, would make setting up and running an effective global government very difficult. So let's put that one aside too. The answer I settle on is the one that I can actually, in good conscience, advocate for and believe that progress in the right direction may result, as imperfect as it may be. I will caution you that I am still, sadly, fairly pessimistic. As unpeageantlike as that may be. The best I can hope for I'll summarize and then expand.
To expand. The problem with domestic rules is that firms skirt them by moving abroad. But any given country has the power, as a buyer/importer, to say "no, we will not import your dirty steel; no, we will not import your slave made clothing." This is sometimes done with tariffs, though those are much more commonly used to protect local industries (sometimes with an ethics related veneer). Tariffs aren't good enough. I think a complete import ban of any rulebreaking product is necessary, or at least ruinously high tariffs. If enough importing countries do this based on a commmon set of rules, the abuses will almost entirely disappear, with the exception of domestic trade in nonparticipating countries. But even then, there are few firms who trade 100% domestically; they would be forced to comply even if exports were only a small fraction of their business. Not to mention, as the other firms in their country cease abusing people and land and such abuses become a rarity, local pressure on holdouts would increase as people realize they don't have to accept such nasty behavior. A global trade body would be needed. In fact, at the founding of the WTO its supporters were making noise about the sort of idas I'm talking about, but obviously that turned out to be a sham and the WTO is nothing of the sort now. But hey, let's just say we revamp the WTO to do this thing I'm talking about. We give them neutral inspection teams to visit firms all over the world and ensure compliance. This approach works with e.g. WMDs (at least, when inspectors are allowed to do their job), so why not commerce? Finally, one big catch with one big solution. What happens to the poor guy in Bangladesh when the tshirt factory moves to, idk, Egypt because of good cotton supply there, now that labor is no longer insanely cheap in Bangladesh? Sure, the tshirt factory was paying him a pittance, but now he's gone from a pittance to nothing. Maybe he can find a new job in a few months, but since his pay was so low, he has no savings and he can't wait a few months. The solution to this is a universal basic income. UBI has been gaining traction as an idea in some circles, even surprisingly some not-very-socialist circles (in other words, it may have some broader appeal that Full Communism Now doesn't). The idea is you get a stipend from the government that is enough for basic living expenses, so that you are never stuck in a poo poo job and you never go hungry. But when you get a job, the UBI doesn't go away, you just make more. The UBI would need to be distributed directly by the global trade body, considering that a depressing amount of "aid money" ends up pocketed by corrupt local governments if it is not distributed directly. The UBI burden should be shouldered largely by the richer countries - the world has plenty of wealth for every human being to have a decent living, the distribution is just all screwed up. This would be a fairly direct way of starting to fix that. UBI is also a bit more palatable to many with regards to a common objection to communism, an objection I disagree with but that a lot of people hold: that if everyone is paid the same, nobody will bother to work hard. With UBI, you can still get richer by working harder, you just won't be boned if you are unemployed. It may even encourage a lot more buzzwords like entrepreneurship and innovation, since people will be more free to go tinker in their basement to try out their crazy idea, or whatever. I pointed out before, when I talked about global government, that getting all of the diverse countries of the world to agree on such a framework would be difficult to impossible. But at first, you only really need several of the largest economies to agree on it... still no small task, but a bit more doable. If even just the US, EU, and BRICS all agreed to it, smaller economies would virtually have no choice, lest they be shut out of exporting to the largest buyers of their goods. The UBI would do a lot to convince them to sign on as well. At the very least, even a stubborn leader would be facing a population who is very pissed off that they are missing out on a global UBI. The mega rich and the global firms will not like this idea, but at least the idea is in terms they can understand and is still within the realm of capitalism; in other words, this idea is painful to them but not an existential threat like some alternatives. The rich and powerful can at least get pretty drat rich while being forced to make some serious concessions, compared to communism, where they would lose nearly everything. And the powerful are, well, powerful, so unfortunately we would probably need their (begrudging) support. Anyway I don't exactly have high hopes. I don't think this is the ideal option either, it's certainly got its problems. But given how entrenched global capitalism is, it's really the best system I can envision actually maybe possibly happening. It would be a hell of a transition, but less violent than some others, and the end product could be pretty drat decent. Don't you think? In conclusion, Hurf de Durf its global trade time Sit back and think to my global trade rhyme This is global trade and you can trade with me You can chill out relax and smoke a bong with me If you need some money cuz you're now a jobless guy Just go check your mail and they'll send you UBI Providing basic living, and paid for by the hosts Especially rich countries cuz they have the most See what i did dere dat wuz redistribution of wealth Because it's necessary for people's dignity and health It's all about rules see how many we can make To stop abuse of workers, or dumping in the lake And if one of these rules a company should break Their product will be banned for import's sake Make an inspection team to check on da rules If dey find out ur bad you get called a fool No one will buy your stuff until you stop bein a dick Just respect all the world, thats the trick If youre makin tshirts with prints of hammock cat Then treating workers well is really where it's at Shouldn't matter if you're Swedish or from Palestine This imperfect solution is the best I can find It global trade, global trade tim Hurf and a Durf, sliding to the pageant win |
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May 31, 2017 16:50
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cda posted:lmbo calrissian - you encounter a strange genie that grants you the wish that the last person left behind. you are granted the wish of "one extra body part of your choice, any species." how do you spend your wish, and what do you leave for the next person who encounters the strange genie? The body part I choose to subsume onto myself is a genie's below-waist misty cloud tail. Aladdin (c) fans are familiar with this but in the cartoon movie it was just a swirl that tapers down from the rest of his body to save budget, but IRL it's more detailed, ethereal and ephemeral. I learned through my research of genies that genies actually give their only wish to a kind soul of fate, who uses their wish to free the genie from his own curse - to grant mortal wishes. The incarnate genie at the time always presents the wish as "I grant you one extra body part of your choice, any species. It was leftover from the last guy." (if you're approached by a genie who asks this, watch out). The human tends to be kind enough to see the desire of the genie's own soul, to be free, and I'm a military family kind of guy, I value strength and honor and I'm glad to inherit the role. I see my legs and penis lose corporeal form and I'm granted magic wish powers. A strange religious thing is that the previous genie dies and goes to the afterlife, since there can only be one genie at a time per continent. It doesn't mean the genie doesn't have fun before he passes on his duty to the next person, he gets to fly, gay club, it's quite like a bachelor life. So you know where I'll be between work  For those of you that say "mystical creatures aren't a species" then where did the genie come from?? Also genie tails are interchangeable with a tapir's tail. Tapirs are similar creatures that influence people's dreams and look like this  
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May 31, 2017 19:38
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I deliberately didn't read the other answers before posting mine and now i know the real answer is beeconomics |
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May 31, 2017 20:22
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alnilam posted:I deliberately didn't read the other answers before posting mine and now i know the real answer is beeconomics You're both right- it's a Universal Bee Income.
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May 31, 2017 20:43
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hockey jockey posted:You're both right- it's a Universal Bee Income. Team work makes the dream work!! BEES! |
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May 31, 2017 22:18
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cda posted:
The Wattococcus estcanus (updog, or slobberberries) is a species of perennially flowering plants with indigo-colored berries, delightfully wet noses, and the occasional happy tongue or wagging tail. Updogs are prostrate shrubs that range in size from small puppers to great big boys. Their distinctive wet noses, or rhinariums, utilize cold receptors in the skin to determine the source of incoming love and/or pets. The berries are highly poisonous if eaten. 
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May 31, 2017 23:41
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They Might Be posted:The Wattococcus estcanus (updog, or slobberberries) is a species of perennially flowering plants with indigo-colored berries, delightfully wet noses, and the occasional happy tongue or wagging tail. Updogs are prostrate shrubs that range in size from small puppers to great big boys. 
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May 31, 2017 23:49
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cda posted:posting smiling - Why, and more importantly, why not? https://soundcloud.com/classicist/why |
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Jun 1, 2017 00:13
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This is going to be a really tough round to judge 
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Jun 1, 2017 00:16
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They Might Be posted:The Wattococcus estcanus (updog, or slobberberries) is a species of perennially flowering plants with indigo-colored berries, delightfully wet noses, and the occasional happy tongue or wagging tail. Updogs are prostrate shrubs that range in size from small puppers to great big boys. |
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Jun 1, 2017 00:59
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Jun 1, 2017 05:50
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alnilam posted:
The song was entertaining and really great answer! Thank you alnilam. Everyone's answered great so far. What a great contest. |
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Jun 1, 2017 22:05
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And time for the final judging...
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Jun 3, 2017 21:59
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Well bless yalls hearts with yer postin and yer judgin. WHO WANTS SUM SWEET TEA WHILE WE'SA WAITIN? YA'LL WANT SOME SWEET TEA? HOW BOUT SOME SWEET TEA!
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Jun 4, 2017 05:17
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Thunder Moose posted:Well bless yalls hearts with yer postin and yer judgin. Ooh yes please |
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Jun 4, 2017 08:11
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Vanisher 9 (+1 really good answer that actually made me think, +1 illustrations) munchables 8 (+1 out of box thinking) hockey jockey 9 (+1 creative frog catching techniques. +1 offering points to another contestant) Eugene V. Dabs 7 (-1 effort, +1 pity point for feeling bad for her having a rough time) hot soapy beard 8 (+1 a truly inspiring answer) N. Senada 8 (+1 positive attitude towards burritos) manifisto 10 (+3 for writing an answer so funny i read it out loud to mr duck and for the first time ever he laughed at a byob thing) fanky malloons 9 (+1 pro-bee sentiment, +1 for shedding a tear) alnilam 9 (+2 creative use of byob reggae to explain complex concept to slower judges (me)) lmbo calrissian 8 (+1 out of box thinking) they might be 8 (+1 for making me google slobberberry) posting smiling 10 (+1 effort, +2 creativity)
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Jun 4, 2017 17:49
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A mature, thoughtful answer. I could not have asked for better. And yet, I have some trouble believing that a small shorebird really wrote this. I think you had help. Which is okay, I didn't say you couldn't have help. But I meant to. But I didn't. So I'm going to pretend you made some spelling errors and penalize you for that. Learn to spell better, you dumb bird! My score: 9.6/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:19
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I enjoyed reading this well-reasoned and convincing argument. There's only one problem: sonic is faster. My score: 9.6/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:20
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This answer made me laugh, and that's all I ask. That and total loyalty and billions of dollars and the occasional taco bowl. My score: 9.9/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:22
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The correct answer was cda. Other acceptable answers: cda wearing a fake mustache, cda wearing two fake mustaches (location of second mustache left to your imagination  ), and, ok, fine, fluffieduckie if you have to do the whole female solidarity thing. My score: 4/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:25
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Nice Mel Gibson moment at the end there. Too bad he's an anti-semite. And probably a Tory. And definitely, really named "Melvin." My score: 9.5/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:28
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I think this is good advice, and I also enjoyed the mellow, burrito-friendly spirit in which it was offered. Next time I jbab I will pour some of it out for my good friend and guru N. Senada. My score: 10/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:30
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You hosed up. I'nm not a discerning thinker. You shoul dhave played to my interests, which are: laughter, billions of dollars, taco bowl, burrito, being looked up to, wearing a mustache on my dick. My score: 9.3/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:32
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From Waiting for Godot, Act I During Lucky's tirade the others react as follows. 1) Vladimir and Estragon all attention, Pozzo dejected and disgusted. (the part where you reminded me Iceland exists) 2) Vladimir and Estragon begin to protest, Pozzo's sufferings increase. (thhe part where you said bees, which I do not like. Please remember: laughter, taco bowl, mustache dick etc.) 3) Vladimir and Estragon attentive again, Pozzo more and more agitated and groaning.(the part where you kept droning on about the bees. pun intended) 4) Vladimir and Estragon protest violently. Pozzo jumps up, pulls on the rope. General outcry. Lucky pulls on the rope, staggers, shouts his text. All three throw themselves on Lucky who struggles and shouts his text. (sad that other countries have bad names like Latvia and not good ones like iceland) My score: 9.5/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:37
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tl;dr, i was going to say, until I got to the summary in rznv form. That's what Shakespeare would have done, for the groundlings. My score: 9.8/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:41
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lmbo calrissian posted:I see my legs and penis lose corporeal form and I'm granted magic wish powers. How the gently caress did you read my dream diary? Good score because I'm terrified now. My score: 9.6/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:43
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Put animal noses on fruits and berries is a good photoshop idea. My score: 9.8/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:45
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 14:47 |
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I listened to all of this in one sitting. It reminded me of how creative and funny BYOB can be. It was a nice trip down memory lane. My score: 10/10 ---------------- |
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Jun 9, 2017 17:45
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