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Meat Wagon
Jul 14, 2004

sassassin posted:

I had no idea Stoke were so far down the table.

Yeah, we're beyond poo poo. I'm desperate for this season to end. Some of our highlights from this season are:

  • 1 win in our last 10
  • Going over 10 hours without an away goal (The 2 against Bournemouth last week finally ended that run)
  • Our first win came on the 15th October (our 8th league game of the season. Worse than last season where we only had to wait until the 26th September, our 7th league game)
  • We've only beaten 1 of the 13 teams above us in the table (Palace)
  • Record amount of goals conceded since we've been in the Premier League. At the moment we are 1 point below our record lowest points total and a tough game away to Southampton left.
  • Knocked out of the league cup in the second round against a weak Hull side. Knocked out of the FA cup in the third round against Wolves reserves
  • Some incredible transfer business - Our £18m record signing(Imbula) has been frozen out since December. £13m Joe Allen is being played as a number 10 where he plays like a headless chicken. £15m Berahino has been pretty woeful - 0 goals in 13? games. That's £46m effectively wasted over the last 18 months, which is massive for a club Stoke's size. Don't forget we've also been paying Bony's hefty wages when he doesn't even make the bench.

All of this is on top of the way we finished last season. 19 points from the final 19 games, 9 of those points coming against the 3 teams that were relegated. It's not just the results either, it the performances. We've been utterly joyless to watch. Even when we win it feels like a chore to watch.

It's all good though, Hughes is convinced it's all down to luck. We just need to score from the 1 half chance we get each game and we'll be fine. There are no problems at all and if you even dare to pretend there is one then Robbie Savage will appear on your TV screen and call you a clueless idiot. Oh, and our local paper has printed a story today saying that the board have no intention of replacing the manager at the end of the season. Fantastic.

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Meat Wagon
Jul 14, 2004

sassassin posted:

I thought Joe was doing alright at 10, but he's class as a holding midfielder as well so maybe Sparky would have better luck playing him there?

I was delighted when we signed him because I assumed he'd be playing as a holding midfielder. It's probably our weakest area on the pitch and upgrading from a 400 year old Glen Whelan to Joe Allen is a massive upgrade. I started this season thinking we'd be playing Allen and (a good) Imbula playing deep, with Bojan in front of them as a #10, which is a loving good central midfield for us. Instead Imbula turned to poo poo, Bojan was dropped in place of Allen and then hosed off to Mainz on loan. We now have the dream duo of Whelan and Cameron playing behind Allen, who looks completely lost but runs about a lot.

I don't want to be too harsh on Allen, he tries at least despite playing badly. The problem is more on the coaching staff and whatever lovely training regimes they do. He looks like he doesn't know what his job in the team is, and neither do the rest of his team mates.

Meat Wagon
Jul 14, 2004

Byolante posted:

We are just fortunate our defence is as good as it is because aside from Arnautovich nothing else happens.

I wouldn't even say the defence is good. Shawcross looks like a shadow of his former self, Pieters has been pretty poor this season and words can't describe how shockingly wank Johnson has been. It makes me furious we've awarded Johnson with a year extension on his contract. He's a waste of space and couldn't give a gently caress. The only two players that deserve any credit in defence are Martins Indi, who we need to sign at the end of the season, and Lee Grant, who has easily been the player of the season.

greazeball posted:

Is there any hope for Shaq?

In what way? He's a great player when he wants to be but has spent far too much of this season on the treatment table. I don't know whether that's on him or our lovely fitness training. Seeing how many games a number of players have missed down to slight issues makes me suspect the latter.

Meat Wagon
Jul 14, 2004
Fat Sam has quit Palace apparently.

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