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Sancho
Jul 18, 2003

Dollas posted:

*thinks big bang theory is funny*

That show was made for and primarily enjoyed by the olds

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Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica
*thinks there's more than two genders*

*chops off sons penis because he likes girl toys*

Nckdictator
Sep 8, 2006
Just..someone

Sic Semper Goon
Mar 1, 2015

Eu tu?

:zaurg:

Switchblade Switcharoo
*Pre-emptively places son in prison at birth, as he well might be a rapist/misogynist later on.*

Sic Semper Goon fucked around with this message at 04:03 on May 14, 2017

Space Taxi
Oct 31, 2016
*kid never ventures out of the house alone until he is 18 because there are child rapists hiding behind every bush*

Sic Semper Goon
Mar 1, 2015

Eu tu?

:zaurg:

Switchblade Switcharoo
*Has melodramatic tantrum and casts son/daughter into exile when they reveal that they aren't homosexual.*

Repo Man
Nov 19, 2005

Sic Semper Goon posted:

*Has melodramatic tantrum and casts son/daughter into exile when they reveal that they aren't homosexual.*

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

*the "birds and bees" includes an hour-long talk about the rape-plague of 2017: stealthing*

Space Taxi
Oct 31, 2016
Kid shows a talent for sports.

Parent is deeply ashamed.

ScrubLeague
Feb 11, 2007

Nap Ghost
*posts scathing burns about anyone even a day younger than me for my geriatric pals at forums dot somethingawful dot com*

Stuffguyman
Jun 3, 2007
* Avoids social media while pregnant so they don't get triggered too hard and miscarry. *

Secular Humanist
Mar 1, 2016

by Smythe
"get in touch if you'd like to see the new baby! my husband and I are actually choosing NOT to share photos of our new baby on social media, in a move that is somehow even more up our own assholes than people who do!"

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Lol

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Takes thousands of pictures the depressed baby being posed next to pop culture icons

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
Buys $100 Computer Game logo baby clothes that will be outgrown in a month.

mucocele
Nov 3, 2012
Has a water birth at home, baby dies when cord is wrapped around its neck and no one knows how to resuscitate it.

Space Taxi
Oct 31, 2016
*circumcises the kid, ironically*

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

wtf is the third one supposed to be

The Dennis System
Aug 4, 2014

Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.

YeahTubaMike posted:

wtf is the third one supposed to be

That's the Delorean from Back To The Future, you knuckle-beak.

Repo Man
Nov 19, 2005

YeahTubaMike posted:

wtf is the third one supposed to be

I'm thinking the DeLorean from Back to the Future.

Yug
Aug 6, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
I think that's the delorean from back to the future

Leroy Dennui
Aug 9, 2014

Gina McCarthy made us gay,
but we would not have met
had Biden not dropped his cones
:gaysper::frogbon:
That has to be the DeLorean from Back to the Future, right?

CassandraZara
Oct 21, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo
It's a tesla model x obv you dum dum last four posters.

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!

etalian posted:

Takes thousands of pictures the depressed baby being posed next to pop culture icons

This is how I picture the new Star Wars theme park at Disney.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope
my apologies, i've never actually seen that movie

Dr.Smasher
Nov 27, 2002

Cyberpunk 1987
Can't wait for the kid's new baby bottle, it looks like an IPA!

Zeniel
Oct 18, 2013
Has no appreciation for M.A.S.H.

Knows what a Kanye West is.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
did anybody say

duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

yet?

soy
Jul 7, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
*usually drunk*

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
Did anyone say the DeLorean from Back to the Future yet?

PotatoManJack
Nov 9, 2009
*buys a puppy, calls it a 'Fur-Baby' and posts pics on Facebook*

e: I think it's a DeLorean

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

gnarlyhotep posted:

did anybody say

duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

yet?

Only when I read your posts

other people
Jun 27, 2004
Associate Christ
bradzilla the bad post killah OH SNAP

Strategic Tea
Sep 1, 2012

Hey son, say hi to the twitch stream! How was your day at sch... *voice modulator* THANKS MTNDEW66 FOR THE DONATION

Nude Bog Lurker
Jan 2, 2007
Fun Shoe

Les Os posted:

*one day reads a blog about the nutritional benefits of infant belly button lint*
*decides this can't be any more crazy than those people eating placenta*
*has a taste*
*has another taste*
*has bb roll on the floor and in piles of laundry so as to produce more lint*
*every day demand more lint from bb to satisfy yr craving for nutritional benefits*
*keeps this a secret as u feel others wouldn't understand until one day yr having a bb play date and notice yr friend giving their child raspberries on their bb belly*
*confess yr new love of bb belly button lint to yr raspberry friend*
*the courts award yr child to raspberry friend for reporting u to the police and u end up dying of bb belly button lint withdrawals*
*raspberry friend now has 2 supplies of bb lint*

holy poo poo

Stinky_Pete
Aug 16, 2015

Stinkier than your average bear
Lipstick Apathy
*gives food and shelter to a child out of love*

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Strategic Tea posted:

*sincerely hopes daughter grows up as much like a Female Vidya Game Protagonist as possible, or maybe Rey from star wars*

Seriously, 'my dream daughter' has replaced 'my dream girlfriend' as the archetype in films and stuff :corsair:

Jesus

Baudolino
Apr 1, 2010

THUNDERDOME LOSER
I`ll keep my children on a steady diet of speed from a early age. I want them to get good grades.
But dont worry their health and safety is my first concern. That`s why i never had them vaccinated.

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Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

*raises child in Foucault-ian pan-optihell*

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