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Coco13
Jun 6, 2004

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
My favorite drink, and perhaps the most versatile drink around, the Irish Coffee
The 'authentic' way
Warm the glassware using hot water to ensure coffee doesn't immediately lose any warmth. Dump the water out and dry the mug. Add coffee and brown sugar - sugar's optional, but people insist it helps the cream float. Then, Irish whiskey. I prefer Bushmills, in a 3 to 1 ratio but anywhere from 2 to 4 is fine. Gently float heavy cream on top by pouring it on the the back of a spoon to layer the drink.
The proper Irish coffee will have the perfect balance of bitter coffee to sweet sugar and smooth whiskey, from warm coffee to cold cream, from the upper of caffeine to the 80 proof depressant.

The most reliable way
Get coffee. Pour in some Bushmills. Taste it. Adjust coffee or liquor amount. Repeat. You lose the Instagram-approved layering but who cares. You have a no-frills drink that can be enjoyed at literally any moment that relies on the ubiquity of coffee, one of the most popular beverages in the world. Got roped into brunch? Irish coffee! At a wedding where dessert's being brought around? Irish coffee! Been day drinking and need to rally some energy? Irish coffee! Need to blunt a hangover? Irish coffee!

Most importantly, check out this Irish coffee cup:

What did Bunny Colvin tell us? You wave around a bottle of beer at the farmer's market or at a 10 AM meeting, for some reason people will hassle you, say you have a problem or are a public nuisance. Put your liquor in the same paper bag that they all drink from.

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